


Of Life

by Hopeishope



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Adventure, Friendship, Hwitae - Freeform, Jaeseong, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Slow Build, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-05-07 05:37:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 111,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14664402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeishope/pseuds/Hopeishope
Summary: They just wanted to find the meaning of life. What they didn't want was all the struggles that came with it. Of course, it came with friends, love, and memories, but it also came with the hate, the pain, and scars.





	1. Only The Beggining

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so I hope you enjoy it! Sorry for such long chapters.

The sun was high in the sky, not a cloud in sight. The weather wasn’t necessarily warm, but it wasn’t cool either. It was decent enough to run around in the fields without breaking a sweat and to eat ice cream without it being ‘out of season.’ It was like an early summer even though the calendar still read April. Usually, around this time of year, dark clouds would roll in and cover the country in rain storms that could go on for days to wash away the last of the snow that would just reappear in a few days. But now, the sun was out without a single trace of snow or rain to come. 

 

Outside the window there were kids near the sports field, presumably for gym class, yet they were still wearing their uniforms so it was more likely they were let out of class early. They sat on the steps surrounding the field laughing and drinking out of bottles that more likely contained alcohol than soda. They seemed like they were having a lot more fun than Hwiyoung.

 

Hwiyoung, who was sitting in class not paying attention for the first time in his memory. The teacher always held his full attention in class, but not today. For the first time since he could remember, the sun was out and it was a nice day in April. Hwiyoung didn’t want to sit in class listening to another lecture he already had notes on. He wanted to be outside laughing with his friend like the kids outside. 

 

He took his attention away from the window for a brief moment to watch the clock mounted above the teacher’s head. Only five more minutes of Korean History before he could leave. 

 

The other kids around the room looked no more interested in the lesson than he did. Taehyung, who had never offered an interested glance at a lesson in his life, was sitting slouched in his corner seat with brightly colored earphones obviously sitting in the pockets of his ears. Jiwoo, who, if not in class, was most likely in the campus garden with her face stuffed in a comic, had her head angled downward slightly so she could read the manga hidden in her lap. Hyunwoo, a studious student that always tried his best in class, quietly tapped a steady rhythm on his desk with the pencil he had been tapping away with for 20 minutes now. Nobody was interested in the lesson today, that much was obvious. 

 

With a quick reminder of the assigned homework and a wish of well being until the next day, the teacher finished his lesson seconds before the bell rang. Hyunwoo would stay after class for yaja (study time) until the late night hours as he often did, as he didn’t seem to enjoy the outdoors that much. Taehyung would leave with Hyejin to do after school community service after getting caught in a bathroom together only days ago. Jiwoo would ride the bus home, nose buried in her book, until her work at the local animal shelter began. Everyone had a schedule that almost never changed, seemingly stuck on repeat day after day; everyone except Hwiyoung. Hwiyoung, who would normally go to yaja or hagwon (an extra learning academy) due to his mother’s recommendation, would be meeting his friend for no other reason than to take a walk.

 

He grabbed his notebooks and shoved them in his bag quickly, forcing the zipper closed. With his bag sitting on his shoulders, Hwiyoung headed down the hallways of his school to meet his friend by the bleachers at the sports field. His bag bounced up and down on his back in excitement with each step he took down the staircase.

 

He was finally able to make his way out to the bleachers to see his friend gloriously sitting on the top seat as if king of the field. Though he could only see him from behind, it was obvious it was his friend. His bright orange hair stood out amongst the rest of the school’s hair range, shades of dark browns and blacks as the school rules required, but it seemed that the administration had finally given up on convincing him to change it. Hwiyoung walked around to the front of the bleachers before cupping his hands around his mouth.

 

“Hey, Chanhee!” His friend turned his head at the sound of his name being called and a smile formed on his lips instantly. He was up in a second, grabbing his bag firmly by the side as he ran down the steps with a pink carton in one hand and the other hand struggling to position his bag on his shoulder. “You call yourself a bad boy?” Hwiyoung asked snatching the carton from his friend’s hands as soon as it was in reach. 

 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Chanhee replied slipping his other arm under the backpack strap and making a useless reach for the carton Hwiyoung easily held out of reach. Hwiyoung had 3 inches on Chanhee and he often used it to his advantage. 

 

“You’re sitting on the bleachers like you own them drinking…” Hwiyoung lifted his head to look at the carton he held with his outstretched arm, “strawberry milk, as usual.” Hwiyoung offered Chanhee a mischievous smirk before lifting the pink carton to his lips and drinking half of what was left.

 

“You animal!” Chanhee shot back as he ripped the carton back from Hwiyoung giving him a glare more sour than a lemon. “And I am. I rebel,” he pointed out gesturing to his brightly colored hair. Hwiyoung hummed nodding his head slightly with his lips held tightly together.

 

“Oh, you’re right. I forgot how happy you were the day you were trusted enough to wash the board for the teacher. Oh! And the day you rescued a stray kitten and named him HeeHee.” Chanhee shot Hwiyoung a dirty look with pointed eyes. He looked like a cat ready to pounce. And Hwiyoung only set him off more by rubbing the top of his head and cooing him like a child. “My little rebellious baby.”

 

“Take it back!” Chanhee yelled smacking Hwiyoung’s hand away with a playful glint to his eyes. Hwiyoung challenged him with a smirk and an ‘or what?’ accompanied with a few careful steps back. 

 

There was a pause between the two boys. It lasted only a couple of seconds before the two took off running simultaneously. Hwiyoung turned on his foot and moved to sprint away as Chanhee took off to chase him. Chanhee, who had always been more about brawn than brains, easily caught up to him. Hwiyoung ran as fast as he could, bag slamming against his back annoyingly, but it was no use. He was tackled to the ground by his friend who had his bag flung across the ground and his arms pinned above his head within seconds.

 

“Take it back!” Chanhee demanded again with the mischievous smile still plastered across his face. His big eyes crinkled at the sides and his cheeks puffed out with happiness. Strands of his brightly colored hair hung over his puppy like eyes accompanied with his double-eyelids. His friend looked happy.

 

“Hey Chanhee,” Hwiyoung said with a small breath, “do you remember that time back in that park in Muju? Deogyusan I think it was?” Chanhee’s smile dropped and he pressed his hands harder against Hwiyoung’s wrists. He threatened him with a meaningless ‘don’t you dare.’ This only caused Hwiyoung’s smile to grow bigger than it already was. “You saw a pretty girl and you tried to pick flowers for her but the park ranger caught you and you got us thrown out.”

 

“Hwi! Why do you still remember that?” Chanhee yelled as he threw himself off of his friend. Hwiyoung rolled onto his side chuckling at Chanhee’s stubbornness to admit his soft nature. 

 

“You were eight years old you cheesy ass hopeless romantic.” Chanhee sent him another glare, but seemed to forgive him easily as he joined Hwiyoung on the ground and laughed lightly with him. The ground was covered in dirt and pine needles that had found their way from the gardens around the school to the sidewalks outside of it. They weren’t in anyone’s way and nobody seemed to notice they were there at all. 

 

The area was shaded by a tree that seemed to have more leaves than the rest. The tall trunk held it high above their heads. The tree was almost overgrown and would be cut down soon. Hwiyoung didn’t understand why, sure it was leaning into the wall that marked the entrance for the school and it had gotten a little big over the years, but the tree was healthy and beautiful. There was no reason to cut it down.

 

“You should buy me another strawberry milk,” Chanhee said turning his head to look to Hwiyoung, raising his eyebrows in a way that would be taken as suggestive in any other situation. 

 

“Why should I?” Hwiyoung asked raising his eyebrows in a much more smug way. “All you’ve done is tackle me to the ground.” Chanhee gave him a small laugh before forcing himself off the ground. Hwiyoung moved to fold his arms behind his head so he could lay comfortably on the ground. “Where are you going? I’m comfortable right here.” He couldn’t see the sun very well from under the shade of the tree, but it was clear it was still sunny and warm outside. 

 

“We are going to get strawberry milk,” Chanhee stated with is arms crossed. Hwiyoung let out a short breath before pushing himself off the ground with a grunt. He held his hand out for Chanhee and his friend took it, pulling him off the ground with a hard tug and a grunt of effort. He threw his bag back over his shoulders and motioned for Chanhee to follow him as they headed down to FNC Café, a favorite of theirs. 

 

They walked side by side down the sidewalks together without saying a word. This part of Ansan was less packed with big city buildings. In Hwiyoung’s opinion, the scenery around the school area was always nicer than the other parts of Ansan he had seen. Sure, the buildings were mostly colored grey and the streets were littered with broken lamp posts, but it was nicer than other areas filled with dark alleys and dirty shop windows. At least around the school there were beautiful trees and nice smelling chicken shops. 

 

“Excuse me!” a hand found its way onto Hwiyoung’s shoulder and the two boys stopped walking with a short halt to see a stranger smiling with his hand on Hwiyoung’s shoulder. He was quite uncomfortable. He considered shifting his shoulder to throw the boy’s hand off of it but he couldn’t seem to move. He was frozen in his spot like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. He didn’t like being touched by anyone but Chanhee.

 

His friend slowly leaned around Hwiyoung’s side to brush the stranger’s hand off his shoulder, seeing the clear uncomfortableness across his face. It might have been considered rude, but Hwiyoung was thankful. The stranger’s face dropped to a worried glance at Hwiyoung. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” the boy said realizing he had made him feel uncomfortable before placing a small smile back on his face. Chanhee pushed his arm in front of Hwiyoung like a protective father. He stepped forward slightly, not trying to intimidate the boy, but to put himself slightly between him and Hwiyoung. He almost looked like a bodyguard to the older boy. Hwiyoung thought maybe if he switched his school uniform for a leather jacket he could pull the look off convincingly. 

 

“Who are you?” Chanhee asked the stranger. This was the first good look Hwiyoung got of the stranger. Boy might not have been the right word for him, for he looked older than both Hwiyoung and Chanhee. His features were soft, kind of a flower-boy type of look. His jaw was smooth and his skin was as clear as they sky. His hair was a mix between blond and silver, black starting to show at the roots. It was parted at the middle revealing his wide eyes. His lips were a light shade of pink and they pulled at the corners. Hwiyoung figured the man just naturally had a smile on his face at all times, seeming as the small smile barley left his lips. This man was handsome, that was for sure. 

 

“My name is Taeyang and I’m sorry but you’re just really pretty,” the man, Taeyang, said glancing over to Hwiyoung. Chanhee made sure to more obviously move between the two of them. For someone who was a year younger and three inches smaller than him, Chanhee seemed to be slightly intimidating to Taeyang. “I’m sorry!” Taeyang apologized again, the smile dropping from his face replaced by worry and what Hwiyoung thought was a hint of embarrassment. “That came out so wrong and creepy.” Chanhee nodded, sparing a glance back at Hwiyoung as the man stuttered in a desperate attempt to explain. 

 

It’s not like Hwiyoung hadn’t been told he was pretty before. Several girls at school had complimented him on his looks and several more had confessed to him, receiving only polite rejections and apologies in return. Some had given him flowers on test days and one girl once brought him homemade japchae. He knew he was not the worst looking guy on the planet. But hearing this from another man, Hwiyoung felt the need to make himself look smaller behind Chanhee. He didn’t know if the trace of heat across his cheeks was visible, and he hoped it wasn’t. 

 

“Let’s start this over,” Taeyang said as he did a full 90 degree bow towards the two. “My name is Taeyang and I am helping my friends with a project for their movie class. They need extra people in their movie and asked me to find two people to help.” Hwiyoung was following his explanation carefully, almost intrigued enough to agree to be in the movie, but he didn’t. This man had come out of nowhere just to tell Hwiyoung he was pretty and if he had learned anything from his mother, it was to never go with strangers, especially ones like Taeyang. 

 

“What does this have to do with you running over here, touching my friend, and calling him pretty out of nowhere?” That was a good question he should have thought of and Hwiyoung nodded from behind Chanhee to agree with him.

 

“Your friend?” Chanhee nodded firmly at Taeyang’s confirmation. “You’re not a couple?” Hwiyoung looked to Chanhee for a fraction of a second before sputtering for an answer to the unexpected question.

 

“What? No! Why would you think that?” Hwiyoung was in utter disbelief. Sure, Chanhee had stepped in front of him when Taeyang had touched him, a stranger at the time, but that was what any good friend would do. He didn’t see what could possibly make them look like a couple. They were practically polar opposites. Chanhee had bright colored hair and wore the shirt of his uniform untucked unlike Hwiyoung who had black hair and his shirt tucked in, like the rules of the school required. 

 

“He protected you like he was your… okay, you know what it doesn’t matter,” Taeyang decided with a wave of his hand and a short laugh. He turned to Hwiyoung and bowed again with a full 90 degrees and offered him a more sorrowful smile. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable at all. I apologize. Gosh this is turning out much, much worse than I planned.”

 

“And exactly what was your plan?” Chanhee asked still playing the protective bodyguard role. Taeyang smiled again and looked between the two.

 

“You guys look photogenic enough to be in a movie. And who wouldn’t choose the pretty boy to be on camera?” Chanhee gave him another disapproving glare and Taeyang’s eyes widened. “In a nice and clean way!” he clarified with widened eyes. Taeyang laughed again, a sound Hwiyoung unwillingly liked. It had a nice ring to it that was addictive like a drug. “At the risk of embarrassing myself more than I already have,” Taeyang started slowly, clearly weighing every word he was preparing to say. “Would you two like to be part of my friends’ school friendly movie? You wouldn’t have to worry about acting skills, my friends are awful actors anyways.”

 

Chanhee looked like he was getting ready to decline Taeyang’s offer when Hwiyoung nodded his head and confirmed that they would be delighted to. Chanhee turned his head slowly to look at Hwiyoung like he had grown two heads, but Hwiyoung didn’t regret what he said. Chanhee raised an eyebrow in his direction and Hwiyoung shrugged with a faint lift of his shoulders.

 

“They need help, and we’ve already caused him enough embarrassment I think it would be nice if we helped. And you’re a good actor anyways,” Hwiyoung explained. He didn’t know where his sudden change of heart came from, but the two could always leave if things got mysterious or sketchy. Chanhee sighed and pursed his lips, clearly thinking.

 

“Fine, but I don’t see how we caused him any embarrassment. That was all his fault,” Chanhee stated telling Taeyang to lead the way to his friends and their movie. Taeyang had a wide, toothy smile spread across his face and his smile was contagious, as it caused Hwiyoung to have a smile of his own. Taeyang looked happy that they had accepted his offer and gladly led the way to his friends. He had a giddy bounce to his step.

 

“What’s the movie about?” Hwiyoung asked with great interest as the two friends followed Taeyang down a side street he was almost certain lead to the local college. Though Chanhee had played the Big Bad Wolf at their first meeting, he also leaned forward with interest at the mention of the movie.

 

“It’s about the dramas in life. I guess their project was about showing the realistic stuff in life instead of the fluff and unicorns, you know?” Hwiyoung nodded along as Taeyang talked and glanced over at Chanhee to see him doing the same. “I don’t know what parts they wanted you two to play, I’m just the recruiter,” he stated. Hwiyoung couldn’t see his face as he walked a few steps ahead of the two boys to give them space, but he could feel the smirk radiating off of the boy.

 

“And you did such a great job at that,” Chanhee replied followed by a sarcastic scoff. Taeyang held his hand up, finger pointed up as his hand shook in almost a scolding manner. 

 

“I got you recruited though, didn’t I?” He heard Chanhee curse under his breath at the comeback that had been better than anything he could think of to counter with. The rest of the walk was spent in silence as the boys were lead onto the college campus less than a mile from their school. The college was medium sized and It looked homey with its old fashioned brick walls and vines climbing across the sides. The walkway turned from asphalt to stone and the wildlife around them switched from trees contained in small mulch covered plots of land to matted grass lining the walkway with flowers that would most likely bloom again when summer began. 

 

“There they are!” Taeyang said holding his arm out to point to a group of three boys gathered around a camera. They seemed to be arguing from afar. Taeyang sped up slightly and the two boys went to chase after him towards his friends.

 

“You’re in college for this! How do you not know how to put the tripod plate on right?” one of them asked holding a small piece of plastic with a silver screw in his hand. The angry boy didn’t seem so angry up close. He looked slightly annoyed, but the other boy didn’t seem to think he was in any trouble. Hwiyoung didn’t know why, but the situation looked more like a light scolding or a joke. 

 

“I just forgot,” the other boy replied shrugging. The boy that had forgotten how to work the plate thing had beautiful eyes, even from afar Hwiyoung could see this. His eyes reminded him of a fox because of their slim shape. “And anyways it’s so simple to- Oh hey Tae!”

 

Taeyang waved back at the group boys and very dramatically swept his arms to his side as he danced away from Hwiyoung and Chanhee to present them to the group. 

 

“I present to you… the extras you asked for,” Taeyang said trailing off quietly at the realization that he had never asked for their names. One of the boys, one with a cute, rounded face, chuckled as he shook his head at his forgetful friend.

 

“Hwiyoung,” he said bowing to the rest of the boys. Chanhee followed his example and the boy with the fox like eyes side-eyed a boy with a skinny, model material face with jet black hair swept away from his forehead. Hwiyoung didn’t know if that was approval or not. He had a sudden desire to be accepted by this group of boys, and he didn’t quite know why.

 

“My name is Youngbin,” the boy with the round face said stepping forward to hold out his hand. Hwiyoung shook it first, using the polite gesture of two hands opposed to one. Chanhee gave Hwiyoung a smirk so small he would have missed it if he blinked before he shook Youngbin’s hand with one hand as if they were friends that had known each other for years. Youngbin didn’t seem to mind much. “Thank you so much for-”

 

“My name is Inseong,” the fox like boy said cutting Youngbin off with a carefree smile, his lips pulling back to expose his pearly whites. “Taeyang didn’t cause you too much trouble right? He tends to do that.” 

 

Hwiyoung and Chanhee clearly had different opinions of the smiley boy that had lead them here. Hwiyoung politely shook his head, ready to tell the group of boys that their friend hadn’t cause them any trouble, but Chanhee just nodded, slightly glaring at Taeyang. He assumed his friend was still mad about the way they had met. Chanhee had always been protective of Hwiyoung ever since they were little kids. He didn’t mind if Chanhee was iffy about the new group of boys but he hoped he would start to get along with the blond boy soon. After all, he apologized for the accidental embarrassment. 

 

“I’m Seokwoo,” the model like boy said dipping his head out of respect towards the two boys. Hwiyoung took notice that the fox boy, Inseong, had not bowed or shaken their hands. In fact, the boy had not shown any signs of respect like the other two had. “Thank you for helping us,” Seokwoo said with a kind smile, “sorry if this was at all inconveniencing for you.”

 

“No worries,” Hwiyoung replied with an equally kind smile. He heard Chanhee mumble something about Hwiyoung owing him a strawberry milk after this and he moved his hand to smack the younger boys leg slightly, urging him to be quite. He would buy him as many strawberry milks as he wanted later.

 

“I did good right?” Taeyang asked, his eyes pointed in Youngbin’s direction. His teeth were on show with his lips curled up in a happy grin. His cheeks puffed out again and his eyes lit up at the light brown haired boy. Youngbin turned to Hwiyoung and Chanhee with a knowing look on his face.

 

“Which one of you did he hit on?” Taeyang stood up immediately and smacked Youngbin’s shoulder and the darker haired boy laughed with no regrets as the blonde became petty and annoyed with his accusation. Chanhee pointed his thumb at Hwiyoung and he just stood there awkwardly. He shifted his weight unconsciously from foot to foot and clasped his fingers together, not knowing what else to do with his hands. 

 

“I didn’t hit on him!” Taeyang argued. His eyes, glossed over like a puppies, looked up at Youngbin as if he was begging for forgiveness rather than his trust. It looked like Youngbin knew better.

 

“The first thing you said to us was a comment on how pretty he is!” Taeyang looked taken aback by Chanhee’s straightforwardness and looked as if he was struggling for a comeback. Chanhee almost looked proud at his side for defending him without defeat.

 

“Okay, but there's a difference between hitting on someone and flirting with them,” Taeyang said looking Chanhee directly in the eyes, challenging him to fight him on the subject. Hwiyoung just watched the argument play out in front of him, cheeks slightly pink but otherwise unaffected. He was happy that Chanhee was standing up for him, as he would have just pretended nothing had happened. Taeyang didn’t spare a glance at him once, something he was glad for. He didn’t think he could look the smiley boy in the eyes without his cheeks turning the color of a strawberry after he bluntly admitted to flirting with him. 

 

“Hey, so anyways,” Inseong said cutting into the argument, harshly pushing Taeyang back. The push caused him to fall into Youngbin but Inseong didn’t apologize, clearly noticing the glare Taeyang sent his way. “Thanks for helping us with this. Shall we start?” His hands clapped together loudly and the fox boy ran over to the camera to pick paper up from off the sidewalk below it. He moved one paper behind the other and continued to shuffle through them until he found what he was looking for. 

 

“Okay so our movie is about real life drama,” Inseong started explaining, walking between the two boys so he could hold the storyboard papers out for both of them to see. “Seokwoo is our protagonist because he can act unlike the rest of us,” he said pointing to a stick figure drawn with an afro on the paper. “He goes to school with Youngbin and they’re like, best bros. And so Youngbin protects him from being bullied by the one and only me.” Inseong had a proud smile on his face as he mentioned his role. His eyes shut in a cute way when he smiled like this. “And he does all of these great deeds like Youngbin did for him for people around town, like he buys lunch for the homeless man down the street because homeless people actually exist. So it’s realistic.”

 

“Who did you get to play the homeless man?” Chanhee asked, his eyes venturing towards the blonde sitting on a rock wall by the camera listening to Inseong explain. 

 

“Oh the homeless man that sits outside of the Kyochon chicken joint on Mondays and Wednesdays was more than willing to let us give him free chicken on camera,” Inseong said with a smirk gracing his lips, no show if he noticed Chanhee’s look at Taeyang. Hwiyoung held back a laugh by holding his hand over his mouth and scrunching his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Chanhee holding back a laugh in a much more subtle way than him. “Seokwoo also picked up some trash on the sides of the street. We put it there though cuz he didn’t want to touch anyone else’s dirty tissues and food wrappers. And- aw man you should have seen the professor’s face when we asked him if we could wash the classroom windows for no extra credit.” 

 

Inseong’s laugh was a joyful giggle, but the way he folded over, his hair flying over his head as he shook with laughter, reminded Hwiyoung of a happy child. He didn’t get the joke, not knowing the professor or his reaction, but Youngbin and Seokwoo and double over in laughter along with him. Hwiyoung found himself returning a teeth exposing smile with a laugh that came out in small breaths at the boys and their laughter. He liked them, he liked them a lot.

 

“Anyways,” Inseong said shaking his hands, and the paper with them, as he attempted to compose himself and wipe the tears that had formed in his eyes with the elbow of his sleeve. The boy still had a big smile on his face and it didn’t leave as he continued to explain. “Seokwoo has to save someone from being bullied, and we were just gonna have me bully Tae but that would seem more like revenge for Seokwoo than a good deed. And it’s not realistic so we need one of you to-”

 

Chanhee rolled his shoulders back and cracked his knuckles, creating several loud popping sounds as he rolled his neck from side to side. He took a few steps forward, almost challenging Taeyang before offering him an innocent smile with not so innocent intentions. He could see Taeyang visibly shrink at the sight of Chanhee who looked like he was getting ready to fight Taeyang for real. Then the orange haired boy turned to Inseong with a sweet smile on his face, no bad intentions shown.

 

“I will gladly take on the role of bullying your sweet friend here.” Inseong let out another jolly laugh and nodded. Hwiyoung watched as Taeyang’s eyes widened at his fox like friend. The blonde popped himself off of the rock wall almost immediately as he ran to Inseong’s side. 

 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, think about this for a second,” he pleaded, hands holding onto Inseong’s arm as if he was pleading with him. “Why would you want Mr. Carrot over here to bully me when Hwiyoon can do it? He’s the one I flirted with so wouldn’t he want revenge for making him uncomfortable? I think he should bully me. And Hwiyoon is about my height anyways so he’d look more intimidating. Carrot is smaller than me,” Taeyang rambled desperately, looking slightly afraid of the youngest boy. “Wouldn’t him kicking my ass make me look kind of pathetic?” 

 

“Yeah but it’d be realistic,” Chanhee countered with a his arms folded in front of his chest with a sly grin stuck on his face, raising his ego higher and higher every second. “Isn’t that what you’re going for? And his name isn’t Hwiyoon. It’s Hwiyoung,” He corrected.

 

“Yeah Tae, don’t you listen? We’re going for realistic. Hwiyoung looks too shy to bully you. I think Chanhee actually wants to kick your ass so it’d be more realistic,” he said patting Taeyang on the back of his shoulder with a smile on his face. 

 

“I’m not shy…” Hwiyoung mumbled (shyly) with a small pout on his lips.

 

“It’s okay if you are,” Inseong said throwing an arm around his shoulders. Hwiyoung wavered slightly with Inseong’s movement and he kept his grip on his shoulders tight. He could see Chanhee out of the corner of his eyes ready to push the innocent fox-faced boy away from him, but Hwiyoung didn’t mind. For once, he didn’t mind that another person was touching him. Instead of asking Inseong to stop or removing himself from the older boy, he laughed. He let out a loud laugh with a big smile and he didn’t quite know why. Inseong had a smile on his face, and Hwiyoung smiled with him as Inseong prepared to speak again. Inseong was a few inches taller than him and it was like being hugged by a big teddy bear. “You’ll be playing the role of an innocent bystander that gets his backpack stolen by… we’ll find someone.” Hwiyoung raised his eyebrow at the smiley boy in confusion.

 

“Why don’t I just run after my own backpack?” Hwiyoung asked seeing the realization appear on Inseong’s face. He opened his mouth only to close it again seconds later. He looked stumped.

 

“Because… because you can’t! You’re paralyzed! You’re in a wheelchair and you can’t chase after your own backpack. So when mysterious stranger number 3 steals your backpack Seokwoo will swoop in and save the day.” He looked proud of himself, but Hwiyoung still had questions.

 

“Why am I walking down the streets if I’m paralyzed?” He asked, poking yet another plot hole in the group’s movie. Inseong held his lips tightly together, thinking.

 

“Didn’t those stuck up year three movie kids Donghyun and Sungjin use a wheelchair for their movie last year? I remember them bragging about how great their movie was and I’m pretty sure I remember a wheelchair,” Seokwoo said including himself into the conversation. Youngbin confirmed that he also remembered this and Inseong nodded, stating that they would ask the boys about it the next day. 

 

“Why don’t we ask Sanghyuk to steal the backpack?” Taeyang asked, sitting crisscross on the walkway with his hands stationary in his lap. “We could just throw a hoodie over his head and your prof would have no idea it’s the same guy.” Inseong made a tsking noise with his tongue and shook his head. 

 

“Seokwoo already helped Sanghyuk rescue a lost puppy. And anyways, it would be too noticeable. He has puffy noodle hair remember?” Taeyang reminded Inseong that this Sanghyuk guy was getting his hair redone next month. “You idiot, our movie is due in two weeks,” he said kicking his foot into Taeyang’s legs, effortlessly pushing the dramatic child onto the ground. He rolled over with a dramatic groan.

 

“I know someone we can ask, but he’s working today. He wouldn’t be able to come until tomorrow,” Seokwoo added squatting down beside Taeyang and forcefully rolling him back upright. Taeyang let the boy pull him up and gave him a questioning look at the mention of a friend he seemingly didn’t know.

 

“We can come back tomorrow,” Hwiyoung said idiotically. He knew he had hagwon tomorrow and his mother would probably scold him if he missed it. She always rambled on about how expensive the extra lessons were and Hwiyoung had never complained about them. He had just tried to make his mother happy and proud of him by attending every day he had to. He knew he would be letting her down if he skipped to play around with college kids, but at the moment he didn’t care much. 

 

Hwiyoung hadn’t had many friends throughout his life. Some of them were scared of Chanhee, a threatening little child, but he refused to leave him for another friend. Others had been fed up with his consistency with school and exceeding expectations that they had simply left him. He knew he wasn’t a person people naturally wanted to hang out with, most of his classmates getting on his good side hoping to borrow his notes during test time. Chanhee had never done that before, though. Chanhee had been by his side since he was a little child and known him before he had anything to offer the boy. But these people, who knew nothing more than his name and his face, seemed more than happy to include him in conversations and spend time with him. They didn’t want to talk to him for any other reason than to talk to him. Hwiyoung had a weird feeling in his gut, not bad, but a feeling of happiness maybe? Whatever the feeling was, love, happiness, acceptance, Hwiyoung liked it. He wanted to spend more time with these people.

 

Chanhee looked like he was about to scold Hwiyoung for not thinking of his hagwon but Hwiyoung looked over at him and gave him a smile. ‘Please don’t say anything’ it said. So Chanhee said nothing, instead just nodding his head at the group saying that they would be able to come back tomorrow.

 

“Thanks so much! You guys are helping us so much and you don’t even know us. Tae, you got some good ones.” Taeyang smiled at Inseong’s compliment and smiled at Hwiyoung. He didn’t know why, but he found himself smiling back to the blonde boy that seemed more like the sun than a human.

 

“Okay, so my friend,” Seokwoo started, “his name is Juho and he works as a busboy at FNC. He was in all of my classes in high school so we became good friends. I bet he’ll help us.” Hwiyoung faintly remember the name. He and Chanhee went to FNC after school often so it was unlikely that they had never seen him before. He tried to recall where he knew the name from but he couldn’t pull the thought from the back of his mind.

 

“I think I remember him. Or I recognize his name anyways,” Hwiyoung said giving Chanhee a questioning look. The boy shrugged his shoulders, he didn’t have a clue who Juho was. Chanhee was never the most observant anyways. 

 

“Anyways!” Youngbin said cutting into the conversation with the tripod and camera in his hands. “Seokwoo, ask Juho if he can come by tomorrow to help us out. We should shoot this video before the sky turns dark and the kiddies have to go home,” he said referring to Hwiyoung and Chanhee. Chanhee looked slightly annoyed at the mention of being called a kiddie but the informality and sense of friendship made Hwiyoung’s heart feel warm.

 

♦

 

“I don’t trust him.”

 

“You’ll be fine.”

 

“No, you look like you really wanna hurt me.”

 

“It’s called motivation.”

 

Hwiyoung sat back watching the scene play out in front of him. Taeyang was leaning against the brick wall of the library, a place Youngbin had advised against. This went unnoticed of course as Inseong insisted that the alley between the library and the first of the classroom buildings was perfect for the scene. He didn’t exactly look comfortable, then again who would under the watching eyes of everybody? He looked especially uncomfortable with the glaring gaze of Chanhee, who stood tall in one of Inseong’s black t-shirts, one he had stuffed in the bottom of his bag, topped off with a leather jacket Seokwoo borrowed from his roommate. His hair had been swept away from his forehead with hair gel Seokwoo had also grabbed from his dorm room. While at his dorm, Seokwoo had also insisted on using his makeup skills to apply ‘killer eyeliner’ under Chanhee’s eyes. Trying to uphold his bad boy image, he agreed all too willingly.

 

Seokwoo’s fashion sense was too sophisticated for Taeyang to play the role of a bullied kid, his closet mostly consisting of silk shirts and expensive overcoats. Hwiyoung had also spotted a few items of Gucci in the closet, coming to the conclusion that Seokwoo had come from a rich family and enjoyed fashion. The outfit Taeyang had been wearing, ripped jeans and a long, white t-shirt, apparently wasn’t good enough in Seokwoo’s mind for him to play a convincing bullied kid. 

 

Hwiyoung didn’t know how the conversation started, or how he ended up agreeing to it, but him and Taeyang were the same heights, therefore their clothes would most likely fit each other. So here Hwiyoung stood, Taeyang’s ripped jeans snug around his legs and his t-shirt, already oversized on him but making Hwiyoung look even smaller in it, loosely hanging around his torso. Hwiyoung’s school dress pants hung off of Taeyang’s hips, his backside looking slightly more defined than before. His collared shirt hugged Taeyang’s neck snugly with a black tie securely around his neck, thanks to Hwiyoung who seemed to be the only one that knew how to tie a tie correctly. The overcoat was left in Hwiyoung’s arms, Seokwoo insisting that he looked more nerdy and susceptible for bullying without it. He looked good in Hwiyoung’s school uniform, dare he say it.

 

“You just wanna kick my ass that isn’t motivation,” the newly dressed school boy said pouting. Hwiyoung didn’t know what time it was but it had to be somewhat late, as the sky was turning darker, sunset reds and yellows long gone. The brightest stars had already started appearing in the sky and more would follow. The moon was a just crescent floating with the twinkling lights. Thankfully, Youngbin had brought a light from the recording studio to brighten up the alleyway. Youngbin and Inseong had played rock paper scissors, Inseong claiming it was two out of three after he lost, but he had lost in the end anyways. Youngbin had seemed to predict his moves, Inseong not winning once. As a result, the fox like boy had the job of holding up a white sheet board that was supposed to help with lighting. 

 

“Wait do we have a script?” Chanhee asked as Youngbin was about to hit the record button. His hands dropped to his side and he turned his body, a clear break of the bad boy character he hadn’t broken once since meeting this group. Youngbin seemed stumped for a second, uttering an unintelligible ‘uh’ before Inseong spoke behind the sheet board that was blocking his face.

 

“Just beat Tae up for the first shot and for the second one just try to keep a straight face when Seokwoo pushes you off him. If you want we can make an intense stare off scene like in the dramas!” Inseong’s voice had a natural smile in it, if that made any sense. When he smiled, his voice rose to a higher pitch and his sentences came out more in light breaths. In other words, Hwiyoung could hear the smile on Inseong’s voice as he spoke.

 

“Yeah, let's do that!” Chanhee said, almost as if he had a say before getting himself back into character. He rolled his shoulders back before slouching his posture slightly into his ‘bad boy pose.’ Chanhee’s head was cocked to the side and his lips lifted up into a smirk. Chanhee was naturally a great actor, having lied for Hwiyoung before so convincingly that he was convinced his friend had been telling the truth. His demeanor received a wave of ‘woahs’ and ‘awesomes’ from the three boys, except Taeyang. 

 

Taeyang was clearly acting, dramatically quivering his lip and shaking his eyes. His body shook subtly, quite unrealistically, and his arms were scrunched up in front of his chest holding a chemistry book from Chanhee’s bag that was nearly destroyed anyways. He didn’t look truly scared of Chanhee but then again, Hwiyoung thought, his dramatic acting could be to cover for that. 

 

Youngbin hit the recording button and yelled action, Chanhee pausing for a moment before walking slowly over to Taeyang. Taeyang had pressed himself against the wall behind him and brought his head down between his shoulder to look smaller. Chanhee walked slowly toward him, hand on his hip, before he launched at Taeyang, grabbing the neck of Hwiyoung’s school uniform and slamming Taeyang against the wall. Chanhee was a good actor indeed. He hadn’t slammed Taeyang against the wall very hard but instead had brought him away from the wall to jostle him, making it seem as if he was slammed against the wall. He was pushed back into the wall afterwards, but it was lightly. Chanhee wasn’t actually going to hurt the blonde boy.

 

“Okay, okay I’m sorry but can we stop for a second? Are you trying to kill me?” There was barely a pause between Taeyang’s sentences as he slapped Chanhee’s hands away from the collar of Hwiyoung’s shirt. He looked over to Youngbin in disbelief before looking back at Chanhee. “Woah. You’re such a good actor, really, I thought you were going to slam me into the wall and kill me. I was thinking, ‘this is it, I’m going to get a concussion because of a carrot,’” he said lifting his arms above his hands as an exaggeration. 

 

“I wasn’t actually going to push you into the wall,” Chanhee responded smoothing his hands across the collar of the shirt to smooth it back out again. “And I’m not gonna do any real damage, I promise. I’m good at acting.” Youngbin picked up the camera and moved it closer to the boys’ faces as they talked, setting up the settings again to adjust for light. 

 

“That was good though, Tae, try not to piss yourself next time, okay?” Taeyang’s face lit up in disbelief as he went to defend himself only to be cut off by his older friend again. “Let’s go from there, so Chanhee, grab his collar again and pull back your fist like you’re going to punch him so Seokwoo can come and save the day,” he ordered as he finished setting up the camera. “And… action!”

 

Chanhee, with his hands on the collar around Taeyang’s throat, smiled at the boy before throwing him against the wall, letting go of the collar. Taeyang looked slightly confused but made sure to cover it up and pretended to be afraid of him instead. Youngbin looked back at Hwiyoung confused and he just shrugged his shoulders in response, not knowing what his friend was doing.

 

“You fucking nerd,” Chanhee said spitting at the ground around their feet. He pulled his arm back and Taeyang instinctively hold his hands in front of his face. “Was that realistic?” he asked after three seconds of silence, his arm held still in the air. Inseong responded that is was before Chanhee told Youngbin to move the camera again for a better shot for Seokwoo’s entrance. “I don’t want to be in a different position when you start the next scene but hurry up my arm is getting tired.”

 

Youngbin moved the camera as quickly as he could before yelling action once again. Chanhee pulled his arm back an inch more before Seokwoo, wearing a black varsity jacket with his college’s logo across the front, ran in to pull Chanhee’s arm back. He grabbed his arm firmly by the wrist and elbow before throwing him back, away from Taeyang. Chanhee stumbled back before throwing Seokwoo a disgusted glance and walking off. Seokwoo offered Taeyang his hand, helping him off the ground. 

 

They had shot a few more shots with Seokwoo helping Taeyang and scolding Chanhee before they started heading back to Seokwoo’s dorm to change. It was almost eight o’clock. The rest of the stars had appeared in the sky a while ago, Hwiyoung watching them more than his own feet as he walked with the group to Seokwoo’s dorm. Seokwoo lead the group with Chanhee at his side, the two talking about their acting abilities. The last Hwiyoung had heard of their conversation was about pretending to be government agents and taking over the entire government. Inseong was walking with Youngbin after them as the round-faced boy had refused to carry all of the equipment on his own. So Hwiyoung and Taeyang walked together in the back. They hadn’t been talking, the air between them calm as Hwiyoung watched the stars. He had just assumed Taeyang was doing the same.

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind coming back tomorrow, Hwi?” The tone of Taeyang’s voice was a low but soft rumble. Hwiyoung looked down from the stars and lifted his eyebrow. He was about to ask why he wouldn’t when Taeyang spoke again. “Can I call you Hwi?” He had never had anyone else call him Hwi before, another thing he would have to get used to. Chanhee was the only person that ever called him Hwi but he was strangely willing to let Taeyang call him by his friend’s cute nickname. 

 

“Only if I can call you Tae,” he countered giving Taeyang a warm smile. Taeyang nodded with a quick shake of his head and returned his smile with a toothy grin, a sight that was common to see on the boy’s face. “Of course I don’t mind,” Hwiyoung stated answering Taeyang’s previous question as if it was obvious. “Why wouldn’t I?” Taeyang seemed to become suddenly shy, his head angling towards his feet and his fingers fidgeting at his sides. 

 

“You were very quiet. And I just figured maybe you didn’t like us and didn’t want to talk to us. And I did flirt with you earlier which clearly made you uncomfortable and-” 

 

“I’m usually quiet,” Hwiyoung said cutting off the rambling boy with a smile still on his face. Taeyang kept his gaze lowered at his shoes. “I’m a quiet person around people I don’t know well,” he explained cocking his head to the side like a puppy. He wanted Taeyang to look up at him and he didn’t know why. He wanted to see his eyes. So he leaned down, keeping his feet steady as he walked, and angled his head to get in Taeyang’s lowered vision. He gave the boy his sweetest puppy smile and watched a one slowly appear on Taeyang’s face. His lips pulled back, not revealing his teeth, and his eyes squinted, creating happy wrinkles at the sides. Hwiyoung straightened himself out, watching as Taeyang looked over at him from his side. “And I didn’t mind,” he mumbled quietly, blinking a few times before angling his head down as Taeyang had done. 

 

“You didn’t mind what?” Taeyang asked with a cocky hint to his voice. He clearly knew what Hwiyoung had meant. Hwiyoung looked over at him, his mouth slightly parted in disbelief. Did he really want him to say it out loud? His cheeks reddened far more than he had wanted, which happened to be not at all. He hoped the darkness around them hid his flush as he opened his mouth to speak. No syllables came out at first as he tried to find words.

 

“I didn’t mind,” he started slowly, “when you called me pretty.” The smile he got in return for his embarrassment was sickening. Taeyang was an evil human being out for his reputation and world domination for all he knew. “So stop apologizing,” he finished before running ahead to find Chanhee in the group.

 

♦

 

“What were you thinking?” Chanhee wasn’t exactly angry, or at least he didn’t look angry. Hwiyoung and him had very few fights as friends, the few they had had been about stupid things he couldn’t even remember anymore. Chanhee didn’t seem angry now either, more like disapproving. The slap across the back of his head felt angry, though. “Why did you tell them we could come back tomorrow?” he asked, hand on Hwiyoung’s shoulder pulling him to a halt. They had stopped their walking in a silence filled with dense air the second they had left the college campus. 

 

“You don’t want to see them again?” Hwiyoung asked in disbelief. “You seemed to be having a nice time with Seokwoo and Tae why would you-”

 

“This isn’t about not wanting to see them again!” Chanhee said on the borderline of yelling. He seemed to calm himself down for a moment by letting out a shaky breath and rubbing his temples. He let out on more breath between pursed lips before continuing. “That’s not what I meant,” he clarified again. “You have your hagwon tomorrow.” 

 

Hwiyoung knew he had his hagwon tomorrow. He had had a small sinking feeling in his gut since he promised to return tomorrow. Chanhee’s mention of the issue made the guilty feeling stronger. He didn’t like lying on this scale or disappointing people and that’s what he had done by agreeing to meet the group of boys tomorrow.

 

“You’ve never missed your hagwon before. You don’t miss school and you’ve never missed a homework assignment before in your life. I’ve seen you come to school after pulling all-nighters just to be sure you had all your work done. You’re always so good about school so why were you so ready to miss your hagwon earlier?” Hwiyoung didn’t have an answer to his friend’s question. He didn’t know how to explain to him that these people wanted to see him again, but not to gain anything in return. He couldn’t form words now even if he wanted to. He felt guilty.

 

“I don’t know,” he said simply before carrying on walking towards the bus stop. He heard Chanhee sigh heavily before his pounding footsteps caught up to him, but he wasn’t done. His hand found Hwiyoung’s shoulder again and he found himself being turned around to face the smaller boy in front of him. “I said I don’t know!” he yelled. Chanhee had removed his hand from him immediately. The look of hurt on Chanhee’s face at his words had clearly hurt him. Hwiyoung had never screamed before, not at him. “I’m sorry,” he said without missing a beat. He reached down and grabbed Chanhee’s wrist, pulling him along with him.

 

“This isn’t the way to the bus stop,” his friend mumbled quietly behind him. Hwiyoung nodded, continuing to pull Chanhee along with him. His friend wasn’t resisting but he wasn’t implying either. His friend was simply letting him pull him around like a dog on a leash. “Where are we going?” His voice was still soft and it hurt Hwiyoung’s heart to know the reason was because of him. He hadn’t meant to scream at him and he was going to put a smile on his face whether he liked it or not.

 

“We are going to FNC,” he said, the building faintly coming into sight from down the street. “And I am going to buy you a strawberry milk. I’m gonna buy you a million strawberry milks.” 

 

The walk had remained in silence as Hwiyoung had pulled his friend behind him. When they had walked in they were greeted by Minseo, a cashier at FNC that was well known to the both of them. She was a homeschooled girl with long pigtails often tied off with colorful rubber bands and specs placed on her nose. Hwiyoung had ordered a single strawberry milk when they arrived and he paid for it happily. There was a red and white straw stuck into the cup and Hwiyoung chose a place for the both of them to sit. Chanhee still hadn’t spoken. They sat at a window booth they often sat in after school with their bags by their sides and the sounds of Chanhee softly sipping on his milk.

 

FNC was very beautiful café. The walls of the café were the color of coffee with milk, although the color could also be related to dried dirt. The café had a very homey feeling, the same friendly faces from the cashiers to the regulars. The lights were dimmed, lighting the place enough for the room to have a comforting glow against the nighttime sky outside. The café was a happy place for the both of them and that was why Hwiyoung had taken him here.

 

“I’m sorry,” Hwiyoung said immediately. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I wasn’t angry.” Chanhee only scoffed, a reaction Hwiyoung hadn’t expected. There was a smile on Chanhee’s face, even with his lips around the straw it was obvious. Hwiyoung had expected him to get mad at him or for him to chew him out, but he just scoffed with a smile?

 

“You think you can buy my affection with strawberry milk,” his friend stated with a smile still on his face. “Well it worked you little bastard.” Chanhee lightly laughed and Hwiyoung joined, careful not to overdo anything. 

 

“I’m always focused on school,” Hwiyoung began to explain, hands placed in his lap, his head angled downward. He hadn’t meant to scare or anger Chanhee and he felt an explanation was due. “I’ve had to cancel plans with you before because of my studies and hagwon.” Chanhee nodded along with this while dipping his head down to sip at his milk again. 

 

Chanhee was his most understanding friend. He knew the smaller boy was never offended or mad when he had to cancel plans for school, but he felt bad anyways. How could he explain that he was ditching his hagwon for people he has just met when he hadn’t even done that for his best friend?

 

“Do you remember that girl in my 10th grade class? She sat with us at lunch a few times and she even brought you strawberry milk.” Chanhee grumbled that the girl had brought him banana milk, not strawberry milk, but agreed that he remembered her. “Jiyoung. Her name was Jiyoung. She sat next to me in class and we shared notes a lot. She always asked to hang out with me and I never even realized she was just using me for my notes.” Chanhee shot up, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly dropped.

 

“That’s right! That’s right! I remember her! She was the girl that dumped soda on you in the cafeteria after you refused to give her your notes for finals!” Chanhee said tapping the table with the tips of his fingers as he talked. He knew who she was because after she had dumped soda on Hwiyoung, he had taken a bowl of kimchi jjigae from the lunch ladies and in return, dumped the spicy soup on her head in front of the cafeteria while exposing her for using her friends. Hwiyoung remembered that day well. His friend had been sent to three weeks of after school community service and Jiyoung had threatened to sue him. He still didn’t know how his friend had avoided the lawsuit but he had done it. 

 

“She was so nice to us until I wasn’t useful to her anymore. A lot of people have been like that to me, only sticking around me long enough to get what they want before they move on. But these guys are different. They didn’t want anything from us and they seemed like they actually enjoyed being around us for no reason other than to be around us.” 

 

“Actually,” Chanhee began, clearly having something to argue with what he had just said. “Taeyang came up to you because you’re pretty. Was he not expecting anything? Remember that grade 12 boy that tried to grab your ass when you were in grade nine? He wanted nothing but your ass.” Hwiyoung scoffed and shook his head, his hands coming above the table, placed by his sides on the tabletop. 

 

“Grabbing someone’s ass is a lot different than flirting with them. Did it look to you like Taeyang expected anything? And what about the others?” Chanhee nodded, conceding, and picked his cup up again to take another sip at his strawberry milk which was almost gone by now. 

 

“Okay, then we will go to see the college boys tomorrow. You will skip your hagwon and get scolded by your parents though, you do know that right?” Hwiyoung confirmed that he did, more confidently than he thought he was. “Okay,” Chanhee said finishing off his strawberry milk. “But from now on think about stuff like this before you do stupid shit.”


	2. Coming Back Tomorrow

“Where were you last night?”

 

It was morning now, time for Hwiyoung to leave for school. He had plenty of time as he had woken up early. He had briefly napped last night after falling asleep on his desk and waking up to the light shining in through his windows. He had thankfully been able to finish what was left of his work after waking up. He was in no rush, taking his time to dress himself in his school uniform. He even had time to take a shower before coming out for breakfast. His mother was not happy. He had come home rather late last night after buying Chanhee another strawberry milk and riding the bus home with him. It wasn’t until then that he had come home. His mother was asleep on the couch, presumably waiting for him, but he had simply left her to sleep, doing his best not to wake her when he arrived home. They had both called him several times last night but Hwiyoung’s phone had been on silent while at the cafe and he hadn’t even noticed until he returned home.

 

“I was at yaja,” he claimed, the lie rolling easily off his tongue. He didn’t like lying, but the smaller lies he told his parents didn’t bother him, as he did it often enough to become used to it anyways. “I had a lot of work to do last night. Sorry I didn’t answer your calls. My phone died.”

 

His mother was a strong woman, always confident in what she did. She had a fierce look in her eyes that demanded respect and attention. She was a very beautiful woman, still young enough to wear makeup and blend in with the younger crowd. She was a businesswoman. His father was just as strong as her, his glare similar to looking death himself in the eyes. His father could be scary, as he was a tall man with fancy suits and a lot of power. He was a CEO. 

 

“I want you home straight after school today, okay Youngkyun?” Hwiyoung let his head drop down, his thumb pressing hard against his knuckles. His hair had fallen in front of his eyes and he hoped his clenching jaw was not noticeable to the both of them. “You have hagwon today so don’t be late. Okay, Youngkyun?” Hwiyoung nodded, his hair bouncing off of his forehead while his thumb only pressed harder over his knuckles. 

 

“Yes, mother.” he said quietly. He quickly grabbed his backpack from the kitchen chair and threw it on his back before before hurriedly walking out of the house. 

 

Outside, the sun had just barely risen. The sky was still a mix of light blues and faded oranges and yellows. The colors mixed together in the wisps of the clouds as the sun rose in the east. The air was warm for an April morning. It would be another unusually beautiful day, he decided.

 

The streets were empty around his neighborhood, as usual, and he was alone walking down the dirtied sidewalks to the closest bus stop. One foot in front of the other, he made his way down the hill and around the corner, enjoying his time alone. He liked these morning walks to the bus stop. Sometimes Chanhee would come over and walk with him, but that was rare because of his parents’ obvious distaste for the orange haired boy. One time, back in grade nine, Chanhee had come over to walk him to school to give him “positive vibes” before his big class presentation. That was the day Chanhee had been caught by Mrs. Song for stealing pastries. Mrs. Song lived down the street from Hwiyoung, running a small, family owned shop that sold small pastries and treats. The two boys had simply walked by her store that day when the old woman, frail looking with short, curly hair placed atop her head, soft eyes and a loving smile, had grabbed them by the ears and dragged them inside her shop, forcing them to sit as she rambled on about calling authorities. The old woman had recognised Chanhee, even back when his hair had been a normal black color, as the boy that had been stealing pastries from her for the past three weeks. To get out of legal punishment, Hwiyoung was forced to help the old woman around the store with his less than willing friend for the next three weeks, unknown to his parents of course. He had almost missed his presentation.

 

There was another time, a few years before high school, back when Chanhee had the energy to get up early enough in the morning to walk with Hwiyoung to school almost every day. That day, while walking by a dark alley littered with half eaten foods and filthy wrappers, Chanhee found a cat. The cat had only been a few months old when he had spotted her lying by a dirty trash bin pawing at an empty chicken basket. Despite her gray fur being covered head to toe in dirt and dust, Chanhee had picked her up and held her close to him. Hwiyoung remembered that moment all too well, the moment he had ditched school, calling in sick without telling his parents to take the cat to the local animal shelter. The two boys had spent weeks caring for the stray; feeding her, giving her a home, and eventually vaccinating her and giving her a name. HeeHee. She was Chanhee’s first pet. 

 

Chanhee still came over to walk with him, but after being forced to sit down with his parents at the dining table, his personality and character being judged and looked over by respectable adults who had clearly disapproved of him, he hadn’t been coming as often. Hwiyoung didn’t talk about Chanhee at home after that. His younger friend was no longer invited over his house, something Chanhee had seemed grateful for. However, they had never stopped talking. Hwiyoung had refused to break his friendship with his dilinquit and he hoped Chanhee had felt the same about him. 

 

As much as Hwiyoung liked to walk alone, breathing in the morning air and listening to the calming sounds of the quiet, he missed Chanhee at times like this. When he was worried, stressed, or panicking over something trivial like he often did, his friend was there with a shoulder to lean on and wisdom far beyond his years. Sometimes he had been convinced his friend had stolen his better pieces of advice from overhearing quotes from books he had most definitely not read. Chanhee always cheered him up and he always comforted him. He protected him too, and right now, he could really use that protection. 

 

“Hey, Kyun!” He had almost stopped walking, his feet tempting him to run in the opposite direction. But he didn’t. He kept walking, his fingers gripping the straps of his backpack tightly in front of him. He didn’t lift his head at the voice he knew was calling out to him. He didn’t turn and walk the other way. He just continued walking, finally reaching the bus stop. 

 

There were a few people sitting at the bus stop already, as there usually was. There were many people that he didn’t know, a middle aged woman with a smile on her face, a little boy with a superman lunchbox, an older man with a different tie every day. But there was Jihoon, a young boy that rode the bus with his elderly father. Where they went everyday, he didn’t know, but some days Jihoon would be telling the old man stories and other days he would draw pictures with him. There was Jiwoo, the girl from his class who often read mangas. Even now, she was sitting on the small bench with a book in her lap, a different one than the one she had been reading yesterday. But today there was something different. There were two boys at the bus stop today, boys he knew didn’t ride this bus to school. Sungmin and Sungwoo.

 

The two boys were brothers, fraternal twins. Both boys had long faces, their chins angled like the tips of triangles. Their eyes were sharp, dark green contacts on Sungmin’s eyes, barely noticeable but clearly to attract the ladies’ attention. Their lips were thin, often held in tight lines. Their hair, short and at one point in time, buzzcut, always matched. They wore their uniforms in a sophisticated manner, toes of their freshly polished shoes pointed straight and shoulders held back with perfect posture.

 

“We were starting to think you wouldn’t show.” This was Sungmin, the older of the two by some unknown amount of minutes. The boy’s hand found its way to his shoulder, something he didn’t like. Sungmin’s hand felt alien-like on his shoulder, as if it didn’t belong there, which it didn’t. His fingers curled into his shoulder blade uncomfortably with added pressure and he felt the most pressing urge to fall to the ground, far below Sungmin’s reach. 

 

Hwiyoung shrugged his shoulder, the older boy’s hand falling from his touch. He continued to walk until he was standing in his usual spot, next to the bench. As much as he wished for the two boys to just disappear, to disintegrate into thin air, they didn’t. Sungmin just appeared at his side once again and placed his arm on Hwiyoung’s shoulder as if it was the boy’s armrest. To say he was uncomfortable was an understatement.

 

“Where were you yesterday? We missed you,” Sungwoo said, appearing around his brother with a devilish smirk on his face. Hwiyoung didn’t answer. He kept his eyes focused on the road, waiting for the bus. It would come soon, just a few more minutes. 

 

“Yeah, Kyun, you were supposed to come study with us remember?” He didn’t remember. There was nothing to remember. 

 

The sounds of the bus engine came swiftly around the corner, music to his ears. The blue bus came to a halt by the station and Hwiyoung rushed to move towards it, held back by the straps of his bag. He couldn’t tell who was holding the handle of his bag, nor did he care, because he just wanted to get on the bus and leave. But he couldn’t. The boy held his bag and he couldn’t go to school without it, which left slipping out of the straps a bad option.

 

“Slow down!” This was Sungwoo’s voice, a bitter laugh accompanied it. “Let’s ride the bus together shall we?”

 

And that’s how Hwiyoung ended up on the bus, pressed against the side while Sungmin, who sat next to him, leaned into him a little too hard. Sungmin seemed to be having a staring contest of his own, burning holes into the sides of Hwiyoung’s head. Sungwoo sat behind him, or on top of him was a better word for it. His right arm was draped around Hwiyoung’s shoulder, falling loosely around his neck and onto his chest. His left arm was playing with Hwiyoung’s hair, which he despised. He hated when people played with his hair. He had never really given the action much thought until he met the two boys, but since then he had despised having his hair touched by anyone that wasn’t Chanhee. His teeth were biting into his lip so hard that he was surprised he couldn’t taste the metallic flavor of blood. 

 

“So Kyun,” Sungmin started, his eyes never leaving the side of his head, “how do you think you did on the big test?” Hwiyoung mumbled a quick ‘fine’ to the boy, his voice low, making him sound vulnerable. He couldn’t do much to make himself seem otherwise. He had pushed Sungwoo’s arm away from him several times but it found its way back every time. He had pushed against Sungmin’s body to try and make room for himself but the older boy only seemed to press back farther every time. He knew asking for personal space was useless, it never worked anyways.

 

He could feel Sungwoo’s breath against his ear. The tip of the boy’s chin grazed cross the back of Hwiyoung’s neck and he honestly felt like choking. 

 

“What do you mean, fine?” Sungwoo asked with a low growl, making his words sound like a threat, which they most definitely were. Hwiyoung could feel his lips grazing across the edge of his ear. He turned his head but the boy’s mouth just seemed to follow his every movement. 

 

The brothers didn’t used to be like this. Last year, they had simply stolen his backpack and emptied its contents onto the ground. They would write mean things about him in the bathroom stalls and kick him around when they had the chance. Then they started stealing his notes. He didn’t realize the first time it had happened, panicking after they had disappeared from his desk. After that, they started showing up at yaja, sitting next to him and bothering him while copying his homework and stealing even more of his notes. It was earlier this year that they started threatening him.

 

The threats started after he had told the two boys to go fuck themselves. He pushed Sungwoo away and punched Sungmin. He had returned to class that day with blood covering his teeth and a bruise above his eye. He had to make excuses to avoid Chanhee for weeks in hopes of him not seeing the bruise, trying his best to cover it with makeup. 

 

After the threats, the boys started getting more physical. Sungmin wasn’t that bad, only occasionally putting his arm around him and invading his personal space more than he liked. Sungwoo was the worst. Sungwoo started with his arm around his shoulders, but it progressed to his hand occasionally slipping down the front of his shirt. He had slapped Sungwoo for that, and Sungmin had pushed him into the side of a building in return. Sungwoo had a habit of breathing on him, mostly his ear and his neck. At one point, the boy had bitten his ear, not hard, but like a lover would. With Sungmin watching, he decided to just hold his breath and close his eyes. It happened more often after that. Sungwoo also had a habit of touching him too much, his neck, his chest, his hands, his hair, and once the front of his pants. Hwiyoung had kicked him for that one, and so had Chanhee. Sungmin had just kicked him back harder.

 

He wasn’t scared of Sungwoo, he just disliked him. He disliked everything about the boy. He always made Hwiyoung feel uncomfortable and he could never do anything about it. He was afraid of Sungmin, though. Sungwoo had never hurt him, only jostling him around and touching him too much. Sungmin always hurt him. It started as death glares and snares, but after he punched the older boy, it started getting worse. Anytime Hwiyoung did anything to Sungwoo, Sungmin was there to return the favor. He couldn’t even insult the boy without his older brother pulling his hair and squeezing his jaw so tight it ached in the morning. That’s why he didn’t fight back against the boys, he was afraid of Sungmin.

 

“I mean,” he answered, his voice as calm and steady as he could possibly make it sound, “I did fine on my test.” Sungwoo’s arm tightened around his neck at his response. His other hand continued to play with his hair, stroking it like a puppy.

 

“That’s not that answer I was looking for,” Sungmin growled, his voice low enough for nobody but himself to hear it. He knew it wasn’t the answer he wanted. Sungmin wanted him to say that he failed, that he had gotten every question wrong. That was the deal, after all.

 

“I know,” he responded, confident for now. He was protected on the bus, in the public’s eye with cameras surrounding him. Here, he was safe. But he knew the second he stepped off the bus he would not be. 

 

Sungwoo didn’t seem to care about Sungmin’s wants or anger. He didn’t even seem to care about the fact that Hwiyoung had ignored his brother’s threats. No, Sungwoo didn’t care about anything as long as his lips were ghosting across the back of Hwiyoung’s neck. He did his most not to shutter at the disgusting contact. He wanted to punch Sungwoo, throw him off a bridge, or even better, drown him. But Sungmin was watching him closely. The older boy didn’t seem to care about what his brother was doing, but he seemed to care an awful lot about Hwiyoung’s response. He was meeting his friends today, he didn’t need to show up with another bloody nose and a bruise on his cheek. He could deal with Sungwoo’s act for the last five minutes it took to get to the school.

 

“Listen Kyun.” Sungmin’s voice was barely above a whisper. His teeth were clenched together and his lips were pulled back in a sneer. It was hard to focus on how threatening he was being with Sungwoo’s tongue on his neck. “I’m only going to say this once. If those test results come out and you haven’t dropped in class rank you’re going to regret it. And Kyun, do I look like I’m bluffing?”

 

Hwiyoung was trying to find the words to answer but his mind was a jumbled mess of threats and Sungwoo’s disgusting tongue. He wanted to run away and vomit so much that he couldn’t even think of the words to tell Sungmin that he could only hope. 

 

“Sungwoo, would you keep your tongue inside your mouth for one second?” Now, instead of the boy’s tongue all over the back of his neck, there was a cold spot where it had been. He wanted to wash his neck clean, wipe away any trace of Sungwoo having been there. Instead, he just rolled his head back, trying to discard the feeling of the boy. 

 

“I heard what you said,” he started, determination coursing through his blood as he became sick and tired of the boys pushing him around. “And I didn’t listen.”

 

The bus came to a stop as they arrived at the school. The students stood to get off and so did Hwiyoung. He stepped around Sungmin quickly and darted forward, leaping off the bus in a hurry. He didn’t want to stick around and wait for the consequences of what he had said. He bolted towards the school, making a run for the front door. He planned to use a different set of hallways today in hopes of not running into the brothers again. It was going to be a long day, he decided.

 

♦

 

“Hold still.” Seokwoo was applying makeup to Hwiyoung’s face and he couldn’t stop squirming. He wasn’t used to having makeup put on his face and he didn’t exactly love when people touched his face. The brush grazed under his eyes and by instinct he backed his head away from the foreign feeling.

 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He said with a wide smile and a small laugh as Seokwoo glared at him. He situated himself in front of Seokwoo again and leaned his face forward, eyes closed. “Go ahead I won’t move this time, I promise.” The bristles of the brush gilded under his eyes again. Seokwoo was able to get a couple strokes of the brush in before he was, once again, laughing and backing his head away. “It tickles!” he argued through a laugh.

 

“You need makeup!” the older boy argued telling him, once again, to sit still and to stop laughing. He picked up the brush again but Hwiyoung just started laughing again the second it touched his face.

 

“Why do I need makeup so much?” he asked with a ridiculous pout. It’s not that he didn’t like makeup, he had just never worn it. The brush tickled and he felt the most pressing urge to rub at his eyes. 

 

“You’re too pretty,” Taeyang said with a cocky smirk. He was lying down on Seokwoo’s bed with his legs crossed and his arms folded behind his head. Hwiyoung sat on the edge of the sat bed while Seokwoo sat in a chair in front of him. The makeup was laid out around him on the bed. “He needs to make you look more tired and helpless so you don’t look like a runway model that just got his designer purse stolen.”

 

Seokwoo lifted himself off the chair to smack the side of Taeyang’s head and the blonde protested by swatting him away with flapping wrists. Seokwoo told Hwiyoung to sit still one more time but it was no use, he just couldn’t sit still.

 

“Tae, grab his head.” He turned his head towards the blonde as the boy pushed himself onto his hands and knees and crawled over to him. He shook his head with wide eyes and backed away from the boy as much as he could without knocking over the makeup.

 

“Wait- no! No, no, no, no, Tae stop- Tae!” Taeyang leapt behind him and held one arm around his collar bone and the other hand held his forehead in place. Hwiyoung was more or less leaning back on the older boy at this point, not that he had much of a choice. He felt like Taeyang’s prisoner like this.

 

“Good. Now, Hwiyoung. Hold still.” He really couldn’t move in the position he was in. Even when the ticklish brush grazed his eyes and his cheeks he could only smile and pull against Taeyang, who, to Hwiyoung’s surprise, was strong enough to keep him from squirming in his grasp. He continued to complain and let out pained whines as he was subjected to the torture of Seokwoo’s makeup brush. He tried to cooperate, he really did, but Seokwoo just kept complaining that he was scrunching his eyes too much and that, somehow, he was still squirming too much. 

 

“Are you done yet?” Hwiyoung asked, one eye peeking open to see Seokwoo picking up another brush. He sighed and blew a stray strand of hair away from his face. “How much makeup do you need to make me look tired? Can’t you just put a little dark shit under my eyes? Last time I checked, tired paraplegics don’t put on five pounds of contour.”

 

“Tae was right, though, you really are too pretty. Making you look worse is actually kind of hard.” Hwiyoung let out an exasperated sigh and closed his eyes again. Taeyang adjusted his hold on him and he felt the brush graze his eyes again. He squinted again just to piss the older boy off. Taeyang laughed at what must have been an annoyed Seokwoo and Hwiyoung offered an innocent smile when the door opened.

 

The situation must have looked pretty ridiculous. Hwiyoung was lying back on the bed, one leg almost on top of Seokwoo and the other under the chair. He was practically on top of Taeyang who was basically hugging him but with force. His hair was pushed up in a Naruto style with Taeyang’s hand on his forehead. His arms were held in place by one of Seokwoo’s hands as he leaned forward, in between his legs, he should add. 

 

“Tae, stop harassing the poor kid.” Taeyang scoffed at Youngbin’s motherly nature and let him go. Hwiyoung shook his head like a wet dog and turned to glare back at the blonde. Seokwoo sighed and picked up the rest of the makeup that hadn’t fallen onto the floor. 

 

“I don’t know how Chanhee deals with him,” Seokwoo said placing a few plastic holders on his desk. He glanced up at Hwiyoung with a corner of his lips lifted in a smile. “He’s hopeless.”

 

Hwiyoung pushed himself off the floor and walked over to the hand held mirror Seokwoo had sitting on his desk. He angeled it up a bit before turning his head in various directions. The makeup didn’t look bad, in fact he looked homeless and tired. He didn’t know what more Seokwoo could have done because the look seemed complete. 

 

“Well then does Mr. Hopeless want to come and get Juho with me? Chanhee left with Inseong to get the wheelchair.” Youngbin’s question greatly confused Hwiyoung. He didn’t understand why the older boy would ask for him to accompany him of the three of them. Seokwoo knew Juho so he was surprised the makeup-obsessed boy wasn’t going to get his friend. Youngbin was also more comfortable with Taeyang, having known him a lot more than himself. He didn’t understand why Youngbin would be asking him of all people.

 

“But I look dead now, thanks to Seokwoo,” he argued, turning around to face the boy with furrowed brows. Seokwoo tsked at him before wiping his thumb across his eyebrow to clean up his work a bit. Hwiyoung moved his head around again just to annoy the boy.

 

“You don’t look dead. Your eyes just look a little sunken and your cheeks are a bit narrow looking. You just look a little less pretty now.” 

 

So Hwiyoung decided to walk with Youngbin to FNC. Seokwoo didn’t say anything about wanting to go pick up his friend. Taeyang hadn’t playfully argued or whined like he expected the boy to after knowing him for one day. He was very confused by it all. 

 

Outside the sun was beginning to descend to the horizon. The sky was still blue but within an hour oranges and pinks would appear and paint the sky like a canvas. There were still many people walking around the streets and the breeze was nice enough to not give the boys a chill. It was still a decent day, and Hwiyoung enjoyed the first five minutes of the walk in silence just staring at the beautiful sky. He knew it was an awkward silence, however, but he just continued waiting for Youngbin to say what he wanted to say. It was because of this, Hwiyoung realized, that Youngbin had asked him to walk instead of the others. 

 

“Did you and Chanhee come back today because we asked?” Hwiyoung turned his head a smidge to the side to look towards the other boy, but changed his mind, turning his head back to the sky as they walked. Hwiyoung felt his teeth graze over his lips with anxiety at his thoughts. They are done with you, the thoughts said. You’re job is done and they don’t need you anymore. He wasn’t sure why Youngbin would have to make a big talk about telling him to get lost, but he would have rather just received a half-assed thank you card in the mail. 

 

“Of course,” he responded, a light smile aimed at the older boy with kind eyes. “But you didn’t ask,” he reminded him, “we offered because you still needed our help.” And now they don’t need your help. You’re worthless to them. He wished his own thoughts would just be quiet. He didn’t want to believe that these boys were just using him because he was convenient, but he knew they were. What other reason was there to keep them around?

 

“No, I mean, did you only come back because we needed your help?” Youngbin had stopped walking at this point. Hwiyoung finally turned to face the older boy and stopped walking beside him. He cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy, which he guessed he was at this point. 

 

“Well...” He didn’t want to sound weird. He didn’t want to make himself seem like he had been hoping for an immediate friendship with these boys, which he guessed he kind of had been. This situation was too complicated for him to handle. Why couldn’t Youngbin just have brought Chanhee instead? “No,” he started, his mouth stumbling for words. He could feel his lips slightly parted and his eyes drifted off to see everything but the other boy. “We didn’t just come back to help you. If we didn’t like you then we would have just said we were busy. You needing more help was just another excuse to come back.”

 

“Do you wanna come back tomorrow too, then?” Youngbin’s smile was small and hopeful-looking. His thoughts were silent. They wanted them to come back? As far as Hwiyoung knew, there was no reason for them to come back to help with the movie because their parts were finished. 

 

“Do you want us to come back tomorrow?” He knew it was rude, answering a question with a question, but he couldn’t help himself. 

 

“Well,” Youngbin started, fumbling for words just like Hwiyoung had earlier. “Okay. When we told Tae to grab two strangers off the street that were okay with being on camera we expected him to come back with two self absorbed, older men. We were hoping for decent personalities at best, maybe a sense of humor if we got lucky. But somehow, Tae found you two. You’re actually really nice people and we all had fun with you guys yesterday. Seokwoo said he wanted to see you both more and Tae hopped on the idea like the energizer bunny. So yeah, we want you to come back tomorrow.”

 

“Then we’ll come back tomorrow,” he agreed immediately with a sweet smile. He couldn’t stop smiling now. It was such a surprise to him, to be accepted by a group of people he barely knew. He felt more accepted by this group that he had known for less than a day than he did by most of his school. “I know Chanhee isn’t here right now but I know he would feel the same way. You guys are nice, so we’d love to hang out with you more.”

 

“Well, we weren’t sure how you felt, so we thought it would be better to ask you alone.” The two had begun walking again at some point. Each step they took was drawn out and slow, but the air was clear and the walk seemed even nicer than before. 

 

“Why me, though?” Hwiyoung asked, even more confused than he had been before. Was there any reason for him, specifically, to not want to come back? After all, he had been the one to agree to the idea in the first place. Youngbin seemed to draw in a breath at this question as if he had slipped up with his words.

 

“When Inseong had his arm around you,” he explained. Hwiyoung knew what he would say before he even begun. “Chanhee was joking with Tae before that but…” The older boy trailed off, clearly thinking over every one of his words before he spoke. “When Inseong touched you his smile just dropped. He tensed up and he didn’t take his eyes off of you for the next couple of minutes. Tae mentioned making you uncomfortable too.” Hwiyoung nodded as Youngbin spoke, agreeing with everything he had said. His eyes were glued to the tips of his shoes as they walked, getting closer and closer to FNC with each step. “We didn’t know if it was because of us or… something else that you don’t like being touched. If that’s even it! I mean we could be way over thinking everything and- I’m sorry I’ve probably made you even more uncomfortable now. But we just-”

 

“You’re right,” Hwiyoung said, cutting the boy off before he rambled too much. Youngbin was clearly embarrassed already and letting him continue would probably only make it worse. “I’m not exactly great with people touching me,” he admitted twiddling his fingers together. “There is a reason, and there’s also a reason why Chanhee was so… timid. But that’s because of other people. I really don’t mind when you guys touch me. I didn’t mind Inseong’s arm around my shoulders and I already told Tae that I was fine from earlier.”

 

“We just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around us,” Youngbin admitted, his head angled down towards his feet much like Hwiyoung’s was earlier. 

 

Hwiyoung didn’t know where his common sense had gone. He figured it must have flown out the window of the bus earlier that morning. With no common sense rolling around in his head, he decided to do something he never would have done before. With a sincere smile and a happy giggle, Hwiyoung took his arm and placed it around Youngbin’s shoulders. The older boy looked slightly shocked at his boldness, seeing as he had been nothing more than shy up until today.

 

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he confirmed as they approached FNC. “And I want to come back tomorrow.

 

FNC looked busy when they walked through the front doors, the entrance bell barley heard over the hum of customers conversing around their tables with colorful drinks topped with whipped cream and cherries. Almost every table was packed with people, some with students doing homework and taking pictures on their phones, and others with adults just looking for an evening drink. The waiters looked stressed and overworked. 

 

Minseo, who seemed like she was running on five cups of coffee with strands of her long hair falling out from her ponytail, looked exhausted from taking way over complicated orders. Her arms hung weakly at her sides when she was not using them and her eyes dropped when she assumed nobody was looking. 

 

“Do you know what Juho looks like?” Hwiyoung asked the older boy by his side. Youngbin seemed to be thinking the exact thought as him: was Juho’s assistance really not needed when the cafe was this busy?

 

“No, not really,” Youngbin said looking around the cafe for a man that could stand out as a Juho. Hwiyoung didn’t have any idea what the boy could possibly look like as they hadn’t been given any description. “I guess we can just ask for him,” he suggested, taking a step forward towards the counter. Hwiyoung grabbed his wrist to hold him back, another form of contact he found himself not paying much attention to.

 

“What if we bother them? They look busy taking customers orders. We would be holding up the line.” Hwiyoung’s subtle anxiety had gotten the best of him, his worries showing in his widened eyes and his hold on Youngbin’s wrist. Instead of agreeing with him, like he had expected, the boy just shook his head with a smile. 

 

“If anything they’ll be grateful to not have to take another order for a few seconds.” They walked up to the counter together, waiting in line for a few minutes as the customers in front of them ordered expensive drinks with a list of ingredients he didn’t even know existed. When they arrived at the front of the line he could really see the lines forming under Minseo’s eyes.

 

“Welcome to FNC, how can I help- oh hi, Hwiyoung!” She had started by droning on with her usual speech to the customers, but clearly he had become enough of a regular customer to warrant the ever decreasing energy of the tired girl. “Is Chanhee not with you today?” Hwiyoung shook his head and told her “no” with a polite smile. He didn’t miss the way her eyes drifted to Youngbin for no more than a second. 

 

“We’re looking for Juho,” Youngbin informed her with a polite smile, cheeky and eye catching. “But if he’s needed here to work we can-”

 

“Oh no, he said he was waiting for some people,” she said with a smile and a rapid shake of her hands. “I’ll call him out for you guys if you just wanna wait over there.” she gestured to a small area off to the side of the counter and he thanked the girl before taking Youngbin to wait for the boy. 

 

He didn’t know how Juho would react, probably expecting to see Seokwoo instead of two strangers. He hoped that the boy would be familiar enough from the cafe to not make him feel uncomfortable, however. Him and Chanhee had become regulars at FNC, him knowing a great deal of the workers there. He knew Minseo the best, the girl always taking the time and effort to get to know him as well. He remembered the name Juho, he just wished he could match a face to the name. 

 

“Are you Seokwoo’s friends?” the deep, raspy voice came from a taller man with soft features and sleepy looking eyes. He had deep red hair that reminded him of a strawberry. He wore a white button-down tucked into his black slacks and waist-height apron. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he had a small backpack on his back.

 

“Yes,” Youngbin said bowing to the older boy, a gesture which he returned. “You must be Juho.” The red head nodded and looked to Hwiyoung next. He was quick to bow to him in the same fashion that Youngbin had.

 

“My name is Hwiyoung,” he said offering the boy a welcoming smile. Youngbin did the same as he had done with Hwiyoung, thanking the boy for helping with the project and explaining the plot of the movie. 

 

They walked out of FNC as they explained, Juho explaining that he had a change of clothes in his bag should he need them. He looked completely immersed into the story, nodding with everything the older boy said. His eyes widened slightly when Youngbin talked about Seokwoo beating up Chanhee and he hummed and made small noises of agreement with the idea that Seokwoo was being helpful in the film. He was pleasant company. 

 

Juho had smiled at Hwiyoung after hearing that he would have to rob him, commenting on the makeup job Seokwoo had done. Juho had a nice laugh and he was very kind towards the two. He wondered why Seokwoo had never introduced this friend to the other boys before.

 

♦

 

The sun had already set, the birds had stopped chirping, and yet Inseong was still shooting videos of Seokwoo stealing the purse from Juho. It was the last scenes they had to shoot, having had gotten all of the videos of Hwiyoung first. He had gone back to Seokwoo’s dorm with Chanhee after that to wash the makeup off his face. His face felt swollen and a bit dirty, but maybe that had just been from the rough cloth on his face. He had changed back into his school uniform and had gone back to the group, expecting them to be done, only to hear that their camera battery died and they had to walk all the way back to the studio to get a new one. Youngbin blamed Inseong for forgetting a spare.

 

Juho had changed into one of Seokwoo’s jackets, a flannel one with a grey hoodie to cover his face. The two had done a great job at acting, everyone cooing and gasping in shock. There had been a few ‘oo’s and a few ‘woah’s whenever Juho looked the other boy in the eyes, his gaze being believably intense and violent. 

 

Chanhee and him sat on the sidewalk now, their hands behind them holding them up and their backpacks cast aside. They had talked in a hushed manner about how Youngbin had talked to Hwiyoung about him being uncomfortable with physical contact, and how Chanhee had had a similar conversation with Inseong. They both agreed quickly that they wanted to come back again, him only needing to go to hagwon every Monday and Thursday. 

 

They both avoided the subject of the brothers, or at least that’s what Hwiyoung was doing. He didn’t want to tell Chanhee about his latest encounter with them because he didn’t want the issue brought up in front of their new friends. More importantly, he didn’t want smoke to fly out of Chanhee’s ears at the mention of them in front of their new friends. 

 

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” Taeyang, who was walking over from where he had been standing next to Inseong and Youngbin, had directed the question at the two boys with a small smile. He didn’t know if Taeyang expected an answer or if the question was rhetorical but he hadn’t had the slightest clue. Youngbin and Inseong had clearly wanted them to come back tomorrow, but judging by the blonde’s question, no plans had been made yet.

 

“I was thinking,” Inseong started, leaving Youngbin and Seokwoo to pack up the camera, “that we could just all hang out somewhere. You know, to celebrate the end of the movie.” He liked the idea of hanging out with the boys outside of the college campus for once. He figured he might feel like a true friend to them after that, as if he didn’t already. 

 

“That sounds cool,” he said pushing himself off of the concrete sidewalk. Chanhee agreed, pushing himself up with Hwiyoung and bending down to scoop up their backpacks. 

 

“Hey Juho!” The red headed boy turned his attention to Inseong who had shouted his name loudly when they stood only a couple dozen feet apart. He screamed back to show that the older boy had gotten his attention. “When do you get off of work tomorrow?” Juho seemed to think a bit before answering, probably thinking of his hectic schedule. 

 

“Just as the high school gets out,” he said making his way over to the group that had begun to form around Hwiyoung and Chanhee. “I stayed an hour late today, otherwise I would have gotten out that time today as well.” Inseong clapped his hands together loudly, directing all of the attention to himself. Seokwoo and Youngbin made their way over seconds after his clap. 

 

“Then it is decided. We will all go to FNC tomorrow to celebrate!” Seokwoo raised in imaginary glass while Taeyang and Chanhee cheered, immediately looking at each other in an offended manner having reacted the same way. 

 

“Even me? You guys barely know me.” Inseong nodded at Juho’s question, confirming that he could come as well if he wanted to. 

 

“Youngbin, invite Sanghyuk! He hasn’t met Hwi or Chanhee yet!” Inseong demanded energetically. Youngbin nodded his head, mocking Inseong after the fox like boy had turned his head, and took his phone out to message the Sanghyuk boy.

 

“Oh, shit,” Juho said looking sadly at the boys. “I forgot, my roommate is coming with me to FNC for my shift.” Juho looked sad, as if he had failed the others by not being able to join.

 

“Then bring him too, if you want,” Seokwoo offered with a smile. “We can have a whole party.” Juho’s smile was enough to make Hwiyoung happy and joyful. He quirked the edges of his mouth and crinkled his eyes. Juho raised his hand in the same manner that Seokwoo had.

 

“All drinks are on me, then.”


	3. The First Dance

To Hwiyoung’s surprise, FNC was almost empty today. There were a few people, mostly high school kids, who sat in groups of two or three by the big windows at the front of the cafe. They weren’t very loud so it was hard to tell there was anyone there but them with the sounds of the workers and soft music drowning out the strangers’ conversations. 

 

Chanhee had suggested that most of the regulars might be down in Seonbu-Dong at a protest of some sort, the boy hadn’t cared to listen for what it was about. 

 

Juho was in the back of the cafe finishing what was left of his work while Hwiyoung and Chanhee sat alone at a booth big enough for a party of ten. Juho had come out in his white button down earlier, hair tossed in every direction with a silly smile on his face, to tell them that he only had a bit of cleaning up to do thanks to a coworker leaving early. The two boys assumed his roommate was in the back as well helping him finish his work. 

 

In the meantime, the two boys talked about their days at school. Chanhee rambled on about some asshole that he almost gotten into a fight with at the snack store. Hwiyoung talked about losing his notes before his history test. They worked well together, Hwiyoung taking Chanhee’s side on the argument and Chanhee assuring Hwiyoung about his test grade. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” Juho said dusting his hands on his pants as he walked over to the table with his friend. “I didn’t realize my coworker had left that much work for me.” Juho took a seat beside Chanhee and his friend, eyes pointed downward, had slipped in to sit beside his roommate. 

 

Juho’s friend had light pink hair, parted at the middle, that complimented his round cheeks nicely. The boy had a very soft smile on his lips, the kind of smile one makes in an awkward situation. 

 

“My name is Chanhee,” he said immediately after the pink haired boy had sat down. He held his hand out across Juho and the pink haired boy looked up with happy eyes before shaking his hand.

 

“My name is Jaeyoon,” the pink haired boy replied. He looked to Hwiyoung next.

 

“I’m Hwiyoung,” he said with a smile, Jaeyoon being too far away to shake his hand. Jaeyoon smiled at him with puffed out cheeks and and told the two that he was happy to meet them. Jaeyoon seemed like a sweet boy with his smile already radiating with comfortableness. 

 

“Where are the rest? I figured since they made the plans they would be here first.” Chanhee agreed with Juho after telling him that they had no idea. It had already been a half an hour of just Hwiyoung and Chanhee sitting at the booth alone and the others had still not arrived.

 

As if on cue, the bell on the door rang and Taeyang walked in with a boy about his height. The boy by his side had poofy hair that reminded him of ramen noodles. The two were laughing, Taeyang with his bright and wide smile, and the poofy haired boy with a lopsided grin.

 

They walked over to the table and Taeyang immediately slid into the booth by Hwiyoung’s side. The sunshine boy placed his arm around Hwiyoung’s shoulders, seemingly with no intention or care, as he smiled to greet the rest of the boys.

 

Chanhee shot Hwiyoung a look with pointed eyes as if he was asking if he had to beat up the older boy. Hwiyoung just gave his friend a slight pull of the lips in return to signal that he was fine and Chanhee didn’t have to resort to his natural instincts. 

 

“Everyone, this is Sanghyuk,” he said introducing his noodle-haired friend. Sanghyuk nodded to the rest of the table with his teeth poking out from behind his lips and reached over the table to high-five Jaeyoon.

 

“What’s up Yoon? I thought I was gonna be here with nobody I knew but Tae.” Chanhee gave Sanghyuk a confused look before moving on to give the same look to Taeyang. 

 

“Oh yeah, Sanghyuk, Jaeyoon and I are all good friends. I didn’t know you were roommates with Juho,” Taeyang finished, directing his last comment at the pink haired boy.

 

Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk began to start a conversation with Chanhee almost immediately. He seemed to fit right into their group as they all smiled and laughed with each other. Juho sat in the middle, smiling as he watched the three talk about how they knew each other. Taeyang jumped into the conversation as well, but only for a minute or two before suddenly pulling his arm away from Hwiyoung’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said leaning back with a worried voice. His arm hovered inches above his shoulders now. For some reason he didn’t like the way Taeyang had put distance between them. For years, Hwiyoung had been wishing people would just back away from him and give him space, but for some reason he was more uncomfortable with the boy giving him space than the thought of his arm around him. “I’m sorry, is this okay?” 

 

Nobody else seemed to notice what was happening between the two. Jaeyoon was leaning on Juho, gasping for breath laughing while Chanhee was so involved in the conversation he hadn’t even noticed that him and Taeyang we no longer a part of it. Why did Taeyang look so worried while the others were so happy? These were Taeyang’s friends. He wanted to see him laugh and smile with them, not focus on Hwiyoung like a misbehaved puppy.

 

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said, “It’s okay.” Slowly, Hwiyoung felt the boy’s arm return to his shoulders as Taeyang slowly leaned back towards him.

 

“Just tell me if I’m ever making you uncomfortable, okay?” he whispered. Hwiyoung nodded and smiled at the boy. He appreciated his care for him, the way he asked if he was comfortable. However, he almost wished Taeyang didn’t know about his indifference towards physical contact. He wished he didn’t have to see that look in the boy’s eyes when he thought he had done something wrong. 

 

Instead of dwelling on the subject, Taeyang chimed back into the conversation. He began telling a story about the time Jaeyoon, Sanghyuk and himself had snuck out to egg some asshole’s house and had accidentally egged their teacher’s house instead. Sanghyuk burst into laughter, reenacting the teacher’s reaction to her newly decorated house. Jaeyoon had laughed so hard he doubled over, slapping his hand on the table while Chanhee ran out of breath and struggled to find his voice again. 

 

“Nice job Inseong, they’re having fun without us.” The joke came from Youngbin, who had walked into the cafe with the other two boys 45 minutes late. 

 

Everyone had looked up at the boys who had, as Youngbin explained, been late due to Inseong getting a lecture from their professor about manners and dignity. Inseong had argued that he only spoke the truth, a moral of their professor’s, when he said that the class made him want to rip his eyes out of his sockets. Chanhee laughed and congratulated the boy.

 

“Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Jaeyoon,” the pink haired boy said standing as best he could in his seat and bowing to the three college boys. Youngbin smiled and bowed back as the boy sat down and Seokwoo introduced himself as he sat by Sanghyuk’s side. Youngbin gestured his hand for Inseong to sit first and he hesitantly did so, sitting between Jaeyoon and Youngbin. 

 

Inseong had his eyes pointed to his lap and his head angled downwards unlike moments ago when he had been radiating with pride. Hwiyoung didn’t think he had ever seen the boy this quiet or without energy before. He guessed that the reason was because he felt bad for making the others late. 

 

The nine boys spent the afternoon at the cafe, Youngbin ordering drinks for the group while Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk continued to tell stories that resulted in the entire table bursting out laughing. Juho told some stories about Jaeyoon, and Chanhee told some about him and Hwiyoung. The group seemed to like the story about Jiyoung and the kimchi jjigae that was poured on her head. 

 

Seokwoo told a story about how Inseong had bought flowers to ask a girl in their class out and was rejected and humiliated in front of the whole classroom. Instead of laughing and fighting Seokwoo, like Hwiyoung would expect, the boy’s cheeks just went bright red and he offered a light chuckle. 

 

“Hey, you okay, Inseong?” Chanhee asked after Inseong hadn’t laughed. Hwiyoung was glad his friend had asked. If Chanhee hadn’t, he would have. The boy seemed depressed. Youngbin put his arm around the boy and asked him if he was upset that they were late. 

 

“What? No!” he said confidently with a smile that looked staged to Hwiyoung. “Seokwoo, you’re just mad because you bet that I would win a date with her. You’re out 20,000 won!” Seokwoo started to argue with the red faced boy immediately about the amount the had placed on the bet, completely forgetting about Inseong’s moment of depression. Taeyang sided with Seokwoo and Youngbin sided with Inseong. Everyone began to take sides. Juho took Seokwoo’s side and Sanghyuk and Jaeyoon sided with Inseong. Hwiyoung hadn’t sided with anybody, his attention too focused on Inseong. He couldn’t figure out why but the boy was just acting different. It was almost as if he was thinking before talking for once. He was quieter than usual, not participating in the conversation until he was called out for it. On a second thought, the boy didn’t look depressed but more embarrassed and shy. He would conclude that it was probably his lecture from the teacher if it wasn’t for his beat red face, turned even brighter after Sanghyuk and Jaeyoon had taken his side. 

 

“You know what we should do tonight?” Seokwoo asked, clearly to change the subject. Everyone went silent in wonder and confusion at the boy’s brilliant attempt to stop himself from losing an argument. “We should go to a club tonight. It’s called The A and I know a bouncer there.” 

 

“I love it!” Chanhee said with an all-teeth-on-display smile. Chanhee and Sanghyuk looked like kids on sugar highs, jumping at the chance to go out and do something other than sit at a table and talk. Jaeyoon seemed excited, waiting on the responses with hopeful eyes that mirrored the other boys’.

 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Youngbin said, his gaze directed towards Taeyang, Hwiyoung and Chanhee. “Taeyang is already a mess and the two highschool boys are still underaged.”

 

“That’s not what our fake IDs say.” Chanhee reached under the table for his bag and within a second he had two IDs in his hand, one with his name and face on it and one with Hwiyoung’s. Hwiyoung reached his hand over to snatch the cards from his friend’s hand and gawked at his picture and false information.

 

“When the hell did you make these? And why the hell do you carry them around with you?” The card looked real with everything except his age correct. 

 

“I made them hoping that one day you would find some adventure in that educational driven soul of yours and what do you know? That day has come!” 

 

“I am not going to a club with your hopeless ass and a fake ID.”

 

♦

 

He hadn’t come home the night before. He had slept over at Chanhee’s house to avoid getting yelled at by his parents which he knew was inevitable. Returning home was clearly a bad idea, but it wasn’t like he could just never go back to avoid a lecture. Hwiyoung decided it would be better not to mention his plans to go out again tonight. 

 

“What the hell were you thinking? You missed your hagwon, do you know how expensive that is? We put so much work and effort into your education you can’t just ditch this, Youngkyun. I expected better from you.”

 

He listened to his mom rant for what must have been a half an hour at least before his father stepped in. He sat at the kitchen table with the both of them and he wanted nothing more than to leave. 

 

“Your mother is right,” his father said with a disapproving voice. “You’re grounded. Do not come out of your room unless it is for school. I don’t want you going out with friends or staying after for yaja.”

 

He had his phone taken away before he was sent to his room, his parents under the assumption that he would listen to them and stay home like he had said. He walked up to his room slowly to give his parents the impression that he was upset. The second the door to his room was shut, however, his bag was tossed aside and the box underneath his bed was out. He kept this box hidden from his parents specifically for situations like this. In the box was his old phone, the phone he had had before he got his new one. The old one was close to junk now but it was useful in the sense that he could still contact Chanhee with it. 

 

18:07 YoungYoung: Operation Zoom

18:09 Chanboy: I got you

 

This had happened to Hwiyoung many times before, most of them being Chanhee’s fault. When Chanhee would get him in trouble he would always have the same punishment, grounded and his phone taken away. That was when Hwiyoung started using his old phone. After being grounded several times, he realised that his parents never checked on him, his mother going to bed too early and his father not caring enough and blindly trusting him. It was Chanhee’s idea to use the neighbor’s ladder to climb into Hwiyoung’s room which was on the second floor. They started using the ladder more often to sneak Hwiyoung out. The only problem was: they couldn’t leave the ladder by his window for Hwiyoung to get out on his own, even if the neighbors never used it, because his parents would find out and would stop him from using it.

 

Chanhee came up with the idea, texting him ‘Operation Zoom’ one night before busting him out with the ladder. Now, it had become routine. One of the boys would text each other ‘Operation Zoom’ and Hwiyoung would be broken out of his room with his neighbor’s ladder. He waited for Chanhee to come, as usual, but it took his friend longer than it normally did. He sat on his bed blowing puffs of air out and wiggling his feet waiting for his friend. After a half an hour, Hwiyoung heard the sound of the ladder being placed under his window. He unhinged the window and opened it to find not only Chanhee standing at the bottom of it, but Seokwoo as well. 

 

Seokwoo smiled and waved with the stupidest grin on his face. He had a familiar looking makeup bag in his hands. 

 

“No, no. Seokwoo isn’t coming up here with that bag in his hands.” Chanhee rolled his eyes and motioned for Seokwoo to climb up the ladder. He did and Hwiyoung backed up as his friends climbed in through his window. “Be quiet,” he whispered, “my parents can’t hear you. Usually I just climb out of the window and leave.”

 

“In that?” Chanhee asked gesturing to his school outfit which he had yet to change. Hwiyoung admitted that he hadn’t really put much thought into what he would wear at a club. 

 

Chanhee was dressed casual, but nice. He wore dark, ripped jeans with a dark blue t-shirt tucked into his waistband. His hair was styled as it usually was but his eyelashes and his lashline looked a little darker than usual. Seokwoo had his hair up, away from his forehead, and he wore a soft, tan, long sleeved shirt with dark, ripped jeans. Hwiyoung hadn't realized he would have to dress up to go to a club. 

 

“I expected this,” Chanhee admitted, placing his hand on Hwiyoung’s chest and giving him a hard shove into his rolling desk chair, “which is why I brought Seokwoo.” Seokwoo placed his makeup bag on Hwiyoung’s desk, unpacking the many pallets of eyeshadow and other things Hwiyoung didn’t even know existed. When he finished taking out his brushes he placed his hands on Hwiyoung’s shoulders and straddled him, taking a comfortable seat in his lap.

 

“Relax, you don’t have a spare chair for me to sit in. Stay still and I’ll get up sooner.” Hwiyoung nodded and followed all of Seokwoo’s orders. He closed his eyes when Seokwoo told him too, trying his very best not to twitch or move his head at the contact of the brush. He heard Chanhee going through his closet in the background but he decided to ignore his friend for now. 

 

“Purse your lips” Hwiyoung denied. “Purse your lips,” Seokwoo ordered again. Hwiyoung denied again, claiming that he didn’t need lipstick. “If you don’t purse your lips right now I’m going to scream so your parents know we are here.” Hwiyoung pursed his lips. 

 

When Seokwoo finally got off of Hwiyoung’s lap he ran over to the mirror in the corner of his room. Before he could reach it, Seokwoo stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Not until you’re finished,” Seokwoo said, spinning him around towards the outfit Chanhee had laid out on his bed. Seokwoo tsked at his choices. He barely got to see what those choices were before they were swept away and Seokwoo was laying out a new outfit across his bed. 

 

“This is one of my nicer shirts though,” Hwiyoung pointed out as Seokwoo paired a black button down shirt with light blue jeans. “You guys are both wearing normal clothes.”

 

“Yeah, but you probably look hella nice in this shirt. And plus, you don’t have many other clothes that are club material.” Seokwoo cleaned up his makeup and Chanhee put the outfit he had chosen away as Hwiyoung changed in the corner of the room, not caring who was in the room. When he was finished, Seokwoo looked at him disapprovingly.

 

“What? I wore exactly what you said to wear!” He threw his hands in the air at Seokwoo’s ridiculously strict taste. The boy disagreed anyways.

 

“You did,” he admitted, “but it’s not club material.” Chanhee ended up holding back his laugh as Hwiyoung and Seokwoo fought back and forth about his appearance. Hwiyoung argued and jumped back when Seokwoo attempted to tuck in his shirt, saying he felt weird with another man’s hands down his pants and he could do it himself. Seokwoo argued anyways, fixing the way he had tucked his shirt in. They argued in whispers about how many buttons was too many buttons when unbuttoning the top of his shirt. Hwiyoung argued with the way his sleeves were no longer buttoned, but instead hung loose around his hands. The sleeves almost consumed the length of his arm, his fingertips barely showing outside of the slitted sleeve that was meant to be buttoned.

 

And finally, Hwiyoung argued about his hair. Seokwoo had told Hwiyoung he was going to put it up and Hwiyoung argued, claiming that he was already dressed up enough, but Seokwoo had disagreed. Instead of fighting back, as much as he wanted to, he allowed the boy to style his hair grudgingly. 

 

He had to admit, he didn’t look bad. He had eyeliner on with a pale colored lipstick, not too noticeable. His cheeks were tinted red and his eyes were shaded a dark brown. His black hair way styled up and away from his forehead with an exception for the strands on the sides that fell to his eyebrows. 

 

“Okay now pose for me. I need a picture of my masterpiece because damn, I did a good job on you.”

 

♦

 

Seokwoo had way overdone himself. All nine of them stood together outside of the club and everyone was in awe at the sight of Hwiyoung. Youngbin, who had worn nothing more than he usually would, kept giving Seokwoo looks. Seokwoo seemed to be proud of himself. Juho had styled his red hair up as well, wearing all black with a silver chain hanging from two clips on his jeans. He looked intimidating and he commented on how well Seokwoo had styled him. Sanghyuk, who was wearing a black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up as far as they could go, was impressed with Hwiyoung’s looks. He kept poking at his hair and was scolded by Seokwoo for it. He felt like a museum exhibit. 

 

Inseong made a smartass remark about Hwiyoung’s ‘game’ for the night and he slapped the older boy on the shoulder. Inseong was wearing a loose, dark blue shirt that hung low on his chest. His hair was styled no different than normally but he had a string choker around his neck. Jaeyoon had made a remark to what Inseong had said, something along the lines of Inseong’s ‘game’ being better than Hwiyoung’s. Inseong, face beat red and clearly embarrassed, had managed to sputter out that Jaeyoon had better ‘game’ than any of them. Jaeyoon had really gone all out for the night. His eyebrow had the shaved line across it, a detail he hadn’t noticed before, and his hair was swept to one side of his head, up and away from his forehead. His pink hair looked deadly with the side cut he had hidden under it. He wore a loose black shirt with a velvet choker around his throat. 

 

Taeyang hadn’t said anything about Hwiyoung’s ‘game’ but had instead called him a ‘hot ass meal’ in front of everyone. The blush Seokwoo had used earlier was practically useless now as his cheeks were naturally flushed. 

 

Taeyang. That boy, usually all sunshine and laughs, looked lethal. His hair had a bedhead look with strands flung messily in every direction but somehow he pulled it off nicely. He wore a black choker around his neck with a loose black shirt and tight black pants that really made his ass stand out. Hwiyoung decided that he would avoid looking at Taeyang as much as possible. 

 

They got in easily, everyone assuming that the fake IDs hadn’t been caught. Hwiyoung saw Seokwoo sneaking money into the bouncer’s pocket, though. The club was louder than Hwiyoung expected, having never been to a club before. The lights were bright and the music was deafeningly loud. Hwiyoung was immediately separated from half of the group, holding onto Chanhee’s hand tightly so he didn’t lose him in the crowd which had so obviously already happened with most of the group. 

 

While Youngbin was trying to talk to the group, Seokwoo was pulling Juho over towards the bar to most likely get tipsy, at the very least, before the evening started. Jaeyoon had tried to follow them like a lost puppy but Hwiyoung could see the boy’s pink hair lost in the crowd of people. Sanghyuk dragged Taeyang off to the dance floor and Inseong had informed Youngbin that he was going to the bar. The group was separated soon enough, Youngbin also traveling towards the bar for a drink. Hwiyoung, however, refused to separate himself from Chanhee.

 

The two boys stood near the bar after getting Chanhee a drink he couldn’t pronounce the name of. He made his friend promise not to get too drunk but his friend just shushed him telling him this wasn’t the first time he had drank alcohol. He believed him.

 

He was having fun. He wasn’t doing much, but he was having fun. He made a game out of looking for the other members of their group while Chanhee made a desperate attempt to explain to a girl that he wasn’t interested. He couldn’t find Sanghyuk or Seokwoo, the two having disappeared from his sights. Juho was easier to find, his red hair standing out amongst the crowd. He was on the dance floor somewhere. Jaeyoon was easy to spot as well, his pink hair giving him away. That’s how he found Inseong. The two were having a conversation on the other side of the bar and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. He couldn’t find Taeyang. There were too many blonde haired boys in the club and he couldn’t seem to find Taeyang in the crowd of them. Youngbin was standing near the bathrooms across the club. There was a lounge around that area and he knew Youngbin was there with some fancy alcoholic drink. 

 

“You know,” Hwiyoung started, “you don’t have to not talk to girls just because of me.” He almost felt bad for the younger boy. However, he also didn’t want his friend leaving him alone in an unfamiliar place. He had never been to a club before so he had no idea where to go or what to do. He was depending on Chanhee so if he left then Hwiyoung was a goner.

 

“It’s not because of you,” his friend explained, taking another sip of his colorful drink. “I just don’t want to lose my virginity to a stranger.”

 

“You’re not a virgin!” Chanhee argued that he was. “No you’re not! You fucked that girl last year over summer! The girl you met at at the hospital when you broke your arm. Don’t lie to me!” Chanhee shook his head and gaped at him.

 

“I did not! We dated for like a month and I slept over her house once!” Chanhee argued. “I didn’t fuck her!” 

 

“What the hell? I made a joke about you fucking her and you became smug about it and wouldn’t tell me anything about it so I just assumed you lost your virginity to the hospital girl.” Chanhee started laughing, his hand around his stomach. He had tears pouring out of his eyes and Hwiyoung just stood annoyed while his friend laughed at his misconception. 

 

“Hwi, I think I’m gonna piss myself,” he said through his tears. Hwiyoung plucked the drink out of his hands to prevent it from spilling anymore than it already had. He composed himself a slight amount before patting Hwiyoung on the shoulders. “I had to go anyways. Hold my drink for me, will you? I’ll be right back. Don’t move. And if anyone touches you knee them in the nuts.”

 

His friend left in search of a bathroom and he was left alone with a drink he didn’t even want to hold. He wasn’t going to drink at all tonight. He had never tasted alcohol and he didn’t intend on returning home with a pounding headache and a fuzzy mind. He would stick with water. 

 

The drink was plucked out of his hand while Hwiyoung was drifting in his thoughts and he was about to tell off whoever had taken the drink only to realize that Taeyang was standing in front of him with the colorful drink in his hand. He looked at the drink questioningly before shrugging and chugging what was left of it. 

 

“That was Chanhee’s drink,” he told the boy that was most certainly drunk. Taeyang had a dizzy look to him with an unsteady walk. 

 

“Don’t care,” Taeyang replied with a hiccup and a smile. He didn’t understand how that boy could look so unbelievably cute in such an outfit. Hwiyoung held his cup of water out to the blonde boy with a smile.

 

“You should drink some water. I think you’re a little drunk.” Taeyang politely pushed the water back at him with another hiccup. 

 

“No,” Taeyang hiccuped again, “thanks.” His shoulders bounced with his hiccups and he smiled every time as if he was proud of himself for accomplishing such a thing. Hwiyoung placed his water on the table behind him and began to guide Taeyang towards a chair when he pulled away. 

 

“I wanna dance,” Taeyang said grabbing both of Hwiyoung’s wrists. He didn’t tug at him or drag him anywhere, but rather held his arms patiently. Hwiyoung didn’t know what to do. He was hoping Chanhee would come back soon and help him. He didn’t want to tell the blonde boy ‘no’ but at the same time the boy was drunk and he had every reason to do so. “Come on,” Taeyang said suddenly impatient while dragging him towards the dance floor. “Dance with me.”

 

He wanted to slap himself across the face. He told Chanhee not to leave him alone and he couldn’t even wait for his friend to come back from the bathroom. He let his drunk friend drag him through crowds of people onto the dance floor without any idea of what to do. He had never been to a club before and he had certainly never learned how to dance. He almost wished he was tipsy now because he knew he would be able to do this with a fuzzy mind. 

 

The song changed as Taeyang pulled him onto the dance floor from an upbeat dance to a song with less techno in it. Taeyang didn’t seem to care much. Hwiyoung wasn’t sure what to expect when they finally made it to where Taeyang wanted to be. He hadn’t really expected much of anything, his mind practically blank the entire walk. But he knew for sure that he did not expect Taeyang to loosely place his hands on his hips and pull him closer. He didn’t expect that at all.

 

“Dance with me,” Taeyang whined again. He didn’t know what to do. He was sure he was panicking now. Taeyang had his hands on his hips. He didn’t even know if it could be considered his hips anymore. Taeyang’s hands were practically roaming around him. The boy’s hands started at his hips, traveled up to his waist, fell back down to his hips, fell a little lower than his hips, and traveled back up to his waist again. That wasn’t even the worst part. Taeyang was staring at Hwiyoung. His eyes wouldn’t leave his own and it was so hard to focus with Taeyang’s hands roaming freely. It was beyond difficult for him to keep eye contact with the blonde. 

 

Hesitantly, he brought his arms up to rest them on Taeyang’s shoulders. He draped his arms around the boy’s neck and tried his best to keep eye contact with him. That was hard when Taeyang just dragged him closer. They were so close now. Hwiyoung could feel Taeyang’s breath and it was hard to keep eye contact without going cross-eyed. Taeyang’s hands weren’t roaming his hips anymore. They were still. They held on exactly where he had grabbed him to pull him closer.

 

He didn’t know what to do. Hwiyoung knew this was bad. Taeyang was his friend and his friend was drunk and he was sober so he should be in charge right now. Chanhee was waiting for him and Taeyang would probably be upset in the morning after realizing he let this happen. He just couldn’t bring himself to pull away. The hold Taeyang’s fingers had on his hips and the way Hwiyoung’s hands were draped around his neck convinced his mind that he didn’t need to move. He was scared because he didn’t want to go anywhere.

 

Taeyang smiled and hiccuped again, his head falling to Hwiyoung’s shoulder as he laughed. Their bodies moved to the beat of the music. He didn’t know when he started swaying his hips in the same rhythm as Taeyang, but he didn’t have any reason to stop. 

 

“Dance with me,” Taeyang said again, this time softer as he practically whispered in his ear.

 

“I am dancing with you,” Hwiyoung said, scared to move anymore than he already was. Taeyang hummed and he could feel the vibrations of his voice. 

 

“No you’re not.” Hwiyoung cocked his head at the drunken boy on his shoulder. “No you’re not.” he repeated. 

 

“Yes I am,” he said with a gentle voice. “I’m dancing with you right now.” 

 

“No you’re not,” Taeyang repeated again, only this time Taeyang pulled him closer. He didn’t know it was possible until their bodies were touching. Their chests were against each other and Hwiyoung was sure Taeyang could feel his racing heartbeat. He was sure Taeyang could feel something else a little lower too.

 

Taeyang’s laugh was giddy, and it made the hairs on the back of Hwiyoung’s neck stand up. The boy giggled again, his hands beginning to roam around Hwiyoung’s hips again. This time they didn’t just stop at the hips and waist though. Taeyang’s hands seemed to be having an adventure across his ass and he could feel Taeyang’s smile against his cheek. Hwiyoung just kept his hands still on Taeyang’s shoulders, doing the best he could not to panic. 

 

“You’re still not dancing with me,” Taeyang whispered into his ear. He shivered at the sound of his voice. Taeyang began to sway his hips more, making sure Hwiyoung did as well. Hwiyoung wanted to move his hips away, the front of his pants brushing against Taeyang too much for his comfort. “Dance with me.” He wasn’t sure what more he could do. He was already dancing with Taeyang. His hips were swaying with Taeyang’s, both of their pants clearly giving away their affection. His arms were around Taeyang’s neck and Taeyang’s hands were currently on his ass. He didn’t know what more Taeyang could possibly want.

 

“How do I dance with you?” Taeyang wasn’t smiling anymore. He was smirking. Taeyang leaned in towards his ear, his breath making him squirm. 

 

“When you dance you have to move your arms.” Hwiyoung agreed almost instantly after Taeyang had whispered it in his ear. He moved his arms from Taeyang’s shoulders and started playing with his hair. Taeyang started moving his hands along Hwiyoung’s hips again and it was hard to concentrate on his own hands while Taeyang was doing that. He kept one hand on Taeyang’s head and let the other one roam down his back. His fingers danced along the boy’s spine and he felt Taeyang shiver. Taeyang still had that playful smile on his face. 

 

“When you dance you have to move your body,” he whispered. Hwiyoung held his mouth shut tightly with his teeth. He continued to play with Taeyang’s hair while his other hand found its way to the dip in Taeyang’s spine. He was enjoying this far more than he should be.

 

“I am moving my body,” he said pressing his hips forward as if to prove it. Taeyang’s head bent back into his hand and he could see Taeyang biting the inside of his cheek.

 

“No,” he whispered. “I’m moving your body.” He felt Taeyang’s tight grasp on his hips, and he also felt it loosen. When his hands left his hips to explore his back he kept his hips moving just as they had been. Taeyang was still smirking.

 

They stayed like this for a while, just their hips together and their hands having adventures of their own. Hwiyoung didn’t know when it had happened, but his hands found their way to Taeyang’s butt and he couldn’t really say he regretted it. Taeyang’s hands had traveled all along his spine and around his shoulders. They seemed to have switched roles. Taeyang was busy playing with his hair while his hands were busy feeling up Taeyang’s ass which he suddenly couldn’t seem to get enough of. 

 

Taeyang had his head on Hwiyoung’s shoulders and Hwiyoung loved the sight of the boy’s head on him. He loved the sight of Taeyang in general. He liked the weight of his head on his shoulders and the way it moved as their hips danced.

 

Taeyang's hands dug into Hwiyoung’s hair, tugging it back. He didn’t know why, but he really liked it when Taeyang did that. His head was bent to the side now as Taeyang’s fingers had a hold of his hair. Taeyang’s lips had found their way to the side of his neck. It started softy, just his lips brushing against his skin. Then he started kissing his neck more roughly.

 

“Taeyang, stop.” Hwiyoung moved his hands away from Taeyang’s backside to push the older boy away from him. He let go of his head and Hwiyoung stepped back immediately. He stumbled into a couple people as he did, but they didn’t really seem to matter at the moment. Taeyang still had his hand on his hips. “Let go of me, Tae,” Hwiyoung ordered as Taeyang pulled him closer again. He didn’t want Taeyang to touch him anymore. He didn’t like this anymore, he was done. “I’m uncomfortable. So stop.”

 

“I wanna dance,” the boy whined, his head falling back on his shoulder. 

 

“No. No more dancing. We’re done now. Let go of me.” Taeyang didn’t let go though. If anything, Taeyang only held on tighter. Hwiyoung moved his hands around to find Taeyang’s hands and pulled them away from him. 

 

“But you like dancing.” Hwiyoung shook his head as Taeyang grabbed onto him again. He was using him as more of a supporter now than he was before. With so many people crowding the dance floor he couldn’t find an easy way out away from Taeyang. He had gone too far and he knew it. He had screwed up and he admitted it. He just didn’t want Taeyang touching him anymore. 

 

“Not anymore,” he replied trying to push Taeyang away from him. Taeyang’s arms were around his neck now and Taeyang was practically biting at his ear. “Stop it Taeyang!” He began beating his hands against the older boy to push him away. 

 

He didn’t like being touched by Taeyang anymore. He liked it at first, but not anymore. He just wanted Taeyang away from him now. He didn’t want his lips on his neck and he didn’t want his teeth on his ear. 

 

The second Taeyang was separated from him he fell into the crowd, rushing to pull himself up so he could run through the groups of people. He left Taeyang there but he couldn’t find a reason to care at the moment. 

 

He was just running, he didn’t know where. He didn’t even know if he was still going in the same direction. He only stopped when he bumped into somebody.

 

“Hwiyoung? Are you okay man?” Hwiyoung looked up from where he was on the floor. He didn’t remember falling. He felt sick. He felt disgusting and vile and all he wanted to do was wipe away anything that was on his neck or his ears or any part of him. He didn’t like that and he felt sick because of it.

 

“Youngbin?” The older boy stood above him, worry in his eyes. “Youngbin, I think I’m gonna throw up.”


	4. Stuck in an Awkward Silence

“That son of a bitch!” There was a loud crash that sounded like glass breaking. He heard someone screaming at another person to stop before they hurt themselves, but he couldn’t seem to remember who the voices belonged to. Everything was a bit fuzzy. 

 

There was a sharp ringing sound in his ears and what felt like weights holding his eyes shut. He felt like he was falling deeper and deeper into a dark abyss of static and obnoxious ringing. 

 

“Calm down!” There was a loud thump that sounded like a chair falling onto a hardwood floor. He wanted to open his eyes to figure out where he was but he couldn’t seem to build up the energy.

 

“Calm down? Do you see those fucking marks on his neck? I’m not going to fucking calm down!” That was Chanhee. He had an unmistakable roar to his voice when he was angry. Chanhee was angry. Why was Chanhee angry? He couldn’t seem to recall any reason for his friend to be angry. 

 

He tried to think of the events in his head, as if going through the recently closed tabs in his mind. He remembered Seokwoo dressing him up to go… to go to a bar. No, it was a club. They went to a club. He was with Chanhee, but Chanhee left. Why did Chanhee leave? That wasn’t important. Then he danced with Taeyang. And Taeyang-

 

“He’s awake!” Before he could even open his eyes he was surrounded by voices, two he guessed. One kept asking him if he was okay, while the other was demanding that he wake up faster.

 

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Youngbin’s face. The older boy was standing over him and even with his blurry sight he could tell that it was Youngbin. His round face was a giveaway. He blinked a few times, his vision clearing slowly, and he started to look around to see where he was.

 

He wasn’t at The A anymore, it was too quiet for that. They weren’t outside either, there was a white ceiling above him. He couldn’t be at his house, Chanhee was being too loud and knew better than to go near his house without Hwiyoung conscious. He wasn’t at Chanhee’s house either. Chanhee’s ceiling wasn’t white. 

 

“Where am I?” He asked as he turned his head to the side to see Chanhee standing beside him, lips held in a tight, straight line and eyebrows pointed downward. He was mad. 

 

“My parent’s house,” Youngbin said helping him sit up. He was sitting on a coffee colored couch in what looked like a brightly lit living room. The floor was hardwood and there was a TV parallel to the couch he was sitting on. “They’re away on vacation right now, so I thought this would be the best place. Chanhee said we couldn’t take you home and we most certainly couldn’t take Chanhee back to the dorms.”

 

“What the hell happened?” Chanhee practically pushed Youngbin away to get closer to him. Hwiyoung was very confused. Many things happened, what event was he talking about in particular? He must have seen the confusion on his face. “Why the hell do you have a goddamn hickey on your neck and why the hell did you pass out in Youngbin’s arms with a hard-on?” It was a good thing he was still a bit fuzzy because otherwise he would curl up in a ball from embarrassment. “And why weren’t you by the table when I got back? What did Taeyang do to you?”

 

Chanhee was practically on top of him at this point. His hair was a mess. It looked as if he had dug his fingers into his scalp and pulled at his roots for hours. Hours? How long had he been unconscious for?

 

“How long have I been out for?” Chanhee slapped his hand over Youngbin’s mouth to stop him from answering. 

 

“Nope. No. No, no, no, no, nope. You don’t get to ask a question until you answer at least one of mine. So lets start easy. What did Taeyang do to you?” Hwiyoung groaned in frustration. He didn’t feel like playing 20 questions right now. His head hurt and his eyes felt like they had a heartbeat of their own. His body ached, his stomach felt strangely empty, and he had a pit in his gut. 

 

“I don’t know he just wanted to dance.” Chanhee didn’t look impressed with his answer. He was hoping his friend would move on and accept it but Chanhee just sat still, staring at him and waiting for him to continue. He groaned again. “Like I said. He wanted to dance.”

 

“Okay so to spare you the embarrassment, Taeyang got kinky and started grinding on you on the dance floor. Got it.” Hwiyoung gave Chanhee the most pained look he could, avoiding Youngbin’s eyes at all cost. This was the most embarrassed he could possibly ever be. “Then what?”

 

Hwiyoung still didn’t want to answer. He was mortified. Youngbin probably hated him right now because of what he did with his friend and he honestly hoped the older boy resented him. At least then he wouldn’t have to face Taeyang anymore. 

 

“Okay, so let’s say Taeyang gets you all worked up and you’re dancing so you just start full on making out-”

 

“We weren’t making out! He just started kissing my neck!” Dammit. “My turn!” he said in hopes of changing the subject before Chanhee could ask anymore questions. “How long have I been unconscious?”

 

“About an hour,” Chanhee replied instantly, clearly unfinished. “Why were you running away from him after that?”

 

“Because I didn’t like it and you know damn well why!” The two boys were shouting at this point. Chanhee wasn’t mad at him specifically, Hwiyoung knew that. He knew the boy was just looking out for him, protecting him. 

 

“When was the last time you saw the Choi brothers?” Silence. “Hwiyoung?” More silence. Chanhee slammed his foot down on the hardwood floor and Hwiyoung flinched at the noise. “When was the last time you saw the Choi brothers?”

 

“Yesterday.” Hwiyoung didn’t like the silence that followed his confession. He knew Chanhee was beyond pissed now. He knew part of that anger could be directed at him for not telling his friend sooner. He just wanted to hide in a closet and curl into a ball. He didn’t like when Chanhee was mad, and he certainly didn’t like when Chanhee was mad at him. 

 

“You saw them yesterday? You saw them and you didn’t tell me?”

 

“It was nothing-”

 

“Bullshit!” Even Youngbin flinched at Chanhee’s outburst. When Hwiyoung looked at Youngbin he could see shock written across his face. That was okay, though. This wasn’t Youngbin’s problem. “Where?” Chanhee asked this question in a very calm voice, clearly holding his anger back behind a cracked dam. 

 

“At the bus stop.” Chanhee went to open his mouth but Hwiyoung wouldn’t let him. He decided he’d rather let the whole story out than frustrate Chanhee even more. “Because of the test. They sat with me on the bus. They didn’t hurt me.”

 

“Who the hell are the Choi brothers?” Youngbin had been standing at the side for the entire conversation, a bystander to Chanhee’s rage and Hwiyoung’s weakness. He didn’t want him to know. Clearly Chanhee did.

 

“Two brothers at our school. One of them likes to hurt Hwiyoung and the other thinks it’s fun to use him as his boytoy.” Chanhee ran his fingers through his hair again as he walked in a circle. He exhaled loudly before dragging his hands down his face. “I swear to god I will kick their asses! I’m going to-”

 

“Is that why you don’t like being touched?” Youngbin asked, cutting Chanhee off in his fit of homicidal thoughts. “Because of the brothers?” Hwiyoung just nodded with his head down. He didn’t want to get Youngbin involved in this. For God’s sake they had only known each other for three days. 

 

“If he doesn’t do what they want then they play punching bag with him. They don’t like me very much but they seem to be getting creative in ways to meet him without me.”

 

“Taeyang is gonna hate me.” The silence that followed Hwiyoung’s openly spoken thought was deafening. He brought his knees up to his chest and laid his head on top of them. “He’s gonna hate me.” He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t supposed to cry. Taeyang was just a guy. He wasn’t about to cry about some random guy hating him. He was about to cry because his friend might hate him.

 

“I’m going to call Sanghyuk. He doesn’t like drinking very much so he’ll be at least somewhat sober. I’ll tell him to bring Taeyang home and I’ll stay the night with him. I’ll talk to him in the morning.” Youngbin was nice. He was offering to do so much more than he was expected to. 

 

“Do you hate me Youngbin?” 

 

“What the hell? No, of course not. Listen Hwi,” Youngbin said sitting where Chanhee had sat before on the couch. “Taeyang is my friend, but he crossed a line. Yes, he was drunk but that doesn’t excuse-”

 

“I wasn’t drunk. I didn’t drink at all. I could have told him no, but I didn’t.”

 

“Hwiyoung, I’m not mad at you. We’ve already decided that you are our friend. And since you are our friend, we are all going to help you. None of us regret that.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise.”

 

♦

 

Chanhee hadn’t left Hwiyoung’s side all day. It started when he snuck into his room with him in the earliest hours of the morning to help him finish any homework he had yet to complete. Hwiyoung had fallen asleep and woke up to all of his assignments completed. He had thanked Chanhee a million times for that. The second he was out of view from his house, Chanhee appeared to sit on the bus with him. When they arrived at school, Chanhee walked Hwiyoung to his class and arrived late for his own. Chanhee ran back to Hwiyoung’s class after to take a walk with him during recess. After recess, Chanhee walked him to the lunchroom. The boy had decided that they should eat outside for the day because it was ‘nice outside’ and not because the brothers were most likely in the cafeteria. 

 

“Test results come out today,” Chanhee mentioned while slurping jajangmyeong into his mouth with his chopsticks. “So why don’t you just wait for me before we leave school together? I’ll check your test grade for you. Just stay in your classroom for a couple minutes and I’ll come pick you up.”

 

“I can check my own test score,” Hwiyoung mumbled with a mouth full of jajangmyeon. 

 

“You know Sungmin will be down there, right?” Hwiyoung nodded. “So why don’t I just check them?”

 

“What do you think will happen?” Hwiyoung asked after taking a sip of his water. “All the students will be down in the main lobby. It’s not like they can do anything, especially with you there with me.” Chanhee nodded, his chopsticks motioning up and down to signal that he still had something to say on the matter. He did this for a few more seconds while finishing his food before looking Hwiyoung dead in the eyes.

 

“What about the walk to the main lobby? Can you at least wait for me so we can walk to the main lobby together?” Hwiyoung agreed and Chanhee gave him an appreciative smile while sipping at his strawberry milk. 

 

“Hey guys.” Inseong didn’t even stop to ask if he could sit with them before he sat beside Chanhee and placed his phone and water bottle on the table in front of him. “What’s up?”

 

“Inseong? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at college? How did you even get in here?” Inseong waved his hand at Chanhee’s concern for his schooling and gave them both a very serious look.

 

“I need help.” Hwiyoung and Chanhee both waited for Inseong to continue speaking. Chanhee cleared his throat when he didn’t.

 

“Uhm. Okay. Why? Don’t get me wrong, you’re a nice guy. But you still barely know us, I mean why not ask Youngbin or Seokwoo for help?” Inseong sighed and dramatically laid his head on the table with a pout. 

 

“Youngbin is gonna kick my ass when he finds out. Seokwoo is gonna kill me because Juho is his friend and oh! Juho is going to have me publicly hanged. Taeyang and Sanghyuk might just beat me up in an alley and leave my dead body there to rot for all eternity and-”

 

Chanhee patted Inseong on the back like he was burping a baby and told him to take a break and breathe. Inseong nodded and took a few seconds to catch his breath before speaking again.

 

“I slept with pinky.” Chanhee, who had been in the midst of drinking his strawberry milk, had snorted the pink drink out of his nose and cursed as he searched for his napkins. Hwiyoung reached across the table to give him his own napkins and watched his friend let out another string of curses as he held the napkin up to his burning nose. 

 

“I’m sorry, who is pinky?” Chanhee asked, his mouth open and his eyebrows furrowed. 

 

“Pinky. Juho’s roommate. The hot meal with the pink hair. I don’t even remember his name! We were just talking last night and okay, so, we both got a little drunk. And maybe I called a taxi for him and maybe I just ended up going home with him and after that he started undressing and I think he was going to take a shower. I really don’t know I think I was a little too drunk because he didn’t end up showering we just started making out and then we fucked so I don’t know what the hell to do anymore.”

 

There was a long silence after Inseong had confessed to that and neither of the boys knew how to fill it. Inseong had always had an energetic and sweet vibe to him. Hwiyoung never would have imagined the sweet foxy boy who messed everything up would sleep with a guy he couldn’t even remember the name of. 

 

“Jaeyoon,” Chanhee started cautiously. “His name is Jaeyoon.” 

 

“What did Jaeyoon say in the morning?” Hwiyoung asked in an attempt to give the boy some actual advice. “Did he seem angry or was he happy? Because if he wasn’t mad then nobody else has any reason to be.”

 

Hwiyoung had expected an answer along the lines of him being kicked out in the morning or being offered breakfast, instead he got Inseong’s nervous laughter as a reply. The older boy nervously rubbed the back of his neck with averted eyes.

 

“Inseong…”

 

“I didn’t- uhm okay, how do I- I didn’t really… stay to find out.” Chanhee’s chopsticks dropped onto his tray with a loud clunk and Chanhee gaped at him.

 

“You left him?” Inseong nodded with his eyes held shut tightly. “Why would you leave him?”

 

“Chanhee! He clearly already feels like a peice of shit don’t make him feel any worse!” Hwiyoung glanced back over to where Inseong was biting his lip nervously with his arms held in front of his chest. He looked vulnerable. 

 

“I panicked!” Inseong said before Chanhee could make a retort. “I woke up with a hangover and I didn’t even remember how I got there and I didn’t know where I was so I just grabbed my stuff and left and after I got home I remembered what happened and who he is and damnit!” Inseong dropped his head onto the table with a loud thud and groaned. “By that point he had probably already woken up and I don’t have his number so there was no way I was going to explain anything to him.”

 

He and Chanhee exchanged wide eyed looks, trying to figure out what to do with the conflicted boy in front of them. He didn’t know when the next time the nine boys would be together would be, but he knew there was going to be a lot of awkward silences. Inseong was probably going to get bombarded with hate from the rest of the group for leaving Jaeyoon, and if he ever decided he wanted to see Inseong again the older boy would most likely get slapped or worse. 

 

“They’re all going to kill me when they find out.”

 

“If… they find out.” Inseong raised his head from the table with a lifted eyebrow and a pout. Even Hwiyoung was confused with Chanhee’s ‘advice.’ 

 

“Chanhee, they’re going to find out. Jaeyoon is going to be pissed.”

 

“But what if he’s not?” Inseong shook his head at the boy’s useless advice and placed it back down on the table. “No, no listen to me,” Chanhee said pulling Inseong up into a sitting position again. “Think of this from Jaeyoon’s perspective. He brought a guy that he barely knows home and slept with him. Not to mention, this guy is one of Juho’s friends. Said guy left before Juho could find out. If you were in his position would you really want to tell your roommate that you slept with one of his friends?” That was… genius. Chanhee was right. Depending on how close Juho and Jaeyoon are, Jaeyoon might not want to tell him. Best case scenario, the pink haired boy wouldn’t say anything in hopes that he wouldn’t ruin his friend’s friendship. Best, best case scenario, Jaeyoon got too drunk and wakes up without any memory of the event. That latter was extremely unlikely. 

 

“But what if he did tell someone? And what if he didn’t? If he didn’t then I still have to see him again and I think I’d rather rip out my left lung without anesthetic than see him again.” Chanhee chuckled and raised his eyebrows at Hwiyoung. He shook his head rapidly warning Chanhee not to say it. 

 

“Well if Hwiyoung can face Taeyang again after grinding on him and running away I’m sure you can see Jaeyoon again.”

 

“Chanhee you son of a bitch.”

 

“I mean, if Jaeyoon took you home he clearly wanted to eat you out as much as you wanted to eat him out.” 

 

Chanhee seemed oddly proud of himself. He left both Inseong and Hwiyoung with their mouths hanging open. There was a silence that lasted ten minutes, or at least it felt that way. Neither of the two boys could think of anything to say and Chanhee most certainly wasn’t breaking the silence he was proud of creating. 

 

“Do you have absolutely no filter?” Chanhee smirked at Hwiyoung and clapped Inseong on the back. He gave both of the boys a reassuring smile.

 

“So when are we all meeting again? I can’t wait to see how things play out.”

 

♦

 

It wasn’t until a week later that the boys all met again. They were planning to meet on Wednesday but Hwiyoung’s hagwon got moved from Thursdays to Wednesdays and Chanhee made sure to explain that issue to the group. Sanghyuk and Jaeyoon had been away for the weekend so, naturally, the group decided to wait for them to meet again. They had all been busy for once and had no choice but to wait a week for the next Friday to meet again.

 

Inseong had met Chanhee and him at lunch again on Monday, expressing his worries about Jaeyoon telling Sanghyuk about that night while they were away. Aside from Inseong, Hwiyoung hadn’t seen anyone else from the group after leaving The A. He hadn’t even heard from Youngbin so he had no idea what Taeyang’s opinion was on that night. He was hoping to receive a text from Youngbin along the lines of “hey, Taeyang is totally cool that you ditched him” or “hey, you made Taeyang cry.” Instead he got nothing. 

 

Chanhee hadn’t left his side for most of the week. They texted every day because Hwiyoung was grounded until Tuesday and couldn’t do much anyways. At school, Chanhee walked him to every class and stood by his side at every chance he got. He started to loosen his grip around Thursday after noticing that the Choi Brothers had done absolutely nothing.

 

The last time Hwiyoung had seen the Choi brothers was when the test grades were announced. As expected, Hwiyoung was the top of their class. He always was. He was the number one student in his class and he had gotten the highest test grade in his class. The most he had received from Sungmin was a dirty look. He hadn’t even seen Sungwoo look in his direction. 

 

His week had been good so far. Neither of the Choi brothers had bothered him and Chanhee was constantly by his side. He had a feeling his week was about to get a lot worse though.

 

He wanted to see the group, he really did, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about seeing Taeyang. Just the thought of the blonde boy in his head was enough to make him want to bury his face in a pillow and scream. Every time he pictured the boy’s eyes he felt guilt bubbling in his throat and every time he remembered the boy’s hands and hips he felt his face burn hotter than a fire. Every time Chanhee mentioned his name he succumbed to a mumbling disaster and his head always found its home facing downwards and out of sight. He couldn’t even imagine seeing Taeyang in person again. He didn’t really want to imagine seeing Taeyang in person again. 

 

Maybe that was the real reason Hwiyoung was walking excruciatingly slow today. It wasn’t because he had stopped to look at flowers or had to retie his shoelaces like he had told Chanhee. He was afraid to face Taeyang again. 

 

“Would you move it already? Stop dragging your feet.” Chanhee had walked several feet ahead of him already and stopped with his arms crossed so Hwiyoung could catch up. He just pouted and continued walking at the pace of a snail towards his friend. “Don’t pout at me.” Hwiyoung only pouted more dramatically. 

 

It took ten more minutes to reach FNC, a walk that normally would have taken about five minutes in total. Hwiyoung was hoping that, because he walked extra slow, he would be the last to arrive and therefore he wouldn’t be stuck in an awkward silence with the blonde boy. 

 

He had his head pointed down as he walked steps behind Chanhee. He could see the base of the cafe by his feet and he knew they were approaching the door. He had to ready himself for when he got in there. He had to prepare himself for any situation or any reaction from Taeyang. These thoughts had been running around his head all night.

 

The worst case scenario was Taeyang being pissed at him, in which case he would play scared and stupid to avoid getting yelled at. He would fight back against Taeyang in that case because of the alcohol and apologize for walking away.

 

The next best case scenario was that Taeyang pulled him to the side so they could talk about it. If that happened then Hwiyoung would just hope for the best because he didn’t really have a plan for it that happened.

 

The better case scenario would be Taeyang being understanding and apologizing first, clearing the awkward air immediately. That would be great because then they wouldn’t feel any tension between the two and they could just pretend it never happened.

 

That was the best case scenario. It was Hwiyoung’s hope that Taeyang had been beyond drunk and had forgot enough of that night to paint a picture for himself. If he forgot enough then Hwiyoung could play stupid and convince Taeyang it was his imagination. It was low but he was willing to do it.

 

He felt the crown of his head bumping into another person before he could even pull himself out of his thoughts. 

 

“I’m sorry!”

 

“I’m sorry!”

 

Chanhee was holding the cafe door open and watching the two with wide eyes. Hwiyoung had been so deep in thought, preparing himself for any situation with Taeyang that he had bumped right into the boy. Both boys stood frozen, just staring at each other like criminals caught in the act. 

 

“I’m sorry I came so late,” Taeyang muttered. He had his hands folded in front of him and his eyes were darting everywhere around Hwiyoung. He didn’t miss the way the older boy nervously licked his lips as he spoke. “I had some last minute chores to take care of.”

 

“Yeah,” Hwiyoung said, preparing to come up with his own lie. “Chanhee and I got held up at school and-”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Chanhee had his mouth parted open and he had the most bored expression of disbelief on his face. Hwiyoung wanted to beg him to play along with the lie but he couldn’t, not with Taeyang standing in front of him. “You both came late hoping you wouldn’t run into each other unbelievable.” Taeyang opened his mouth to argue but Chanhee shushed him. “I saw how slow you were walking. I swear you guys just pulled a whole romance movie moment. Adios. Join us when you’re ready.”

 

The door closed behind his orange haired friend as he walked into the cafe to meet the rest of the group. Hwiyoung didn’t know what to do. Taeyang wasn’t moving so should he just follow Chanhee? It had already been more than ten seconds so would leaving now be awkward? The boy wasn’t moving so maybe he had something to say. Was Hwiyoung supposed to speak first? He must have felt his mouth open and close a thousand times before he finally found enough words to form a dull sentence.

 

“Are you-”

 

“Maybe we should-”

 

Unbelievable. Hwiyoung looked back over his shoulder in embarrassment and licked his lips nervously. He felt his fingers fiddling in front of him and when he looked back at Taeyang he saw him doing the same. It was obvious that Taeyang remembered clearly what happened. It also seemed as if Taeyang was also too awkward to bring the situation up. Did that mean Hwiyoung would have to bring it up first?

 

“About that-”

 

“I didn’t mean to-”

 

Hwiyoung let out a shaky breath as he bounced on his feet. He hated this more than anything. He just wanted to sit down and ignore Taeyang for the evening. Talking to Taeyang was becoming much more complicated than he had hoped and in the end, he decided running away was his best option if he wanted to survive. He moved his arm to reach for the door and pulled away the second his fingers had brushed against Taeyang’s hand. Taeyang had also had the same idea. Before anything else awkward could happen, Taeyang pulled the door open and held it open, motioning for Hwiyoung to walk in first. 

 

Mutual agreement to ignore the situation. Hwiyoung liked it. He found the group seated at the same booth that had been seated at before. Juho and Jaeyoon sat in the middle, with Sanghyuk to the right of Jaeyoon. Youngbin sat next to Seokwoo who was seated next to Juho. Inseong sat next to Youngbin and Chanhee sat next to him. There were only two spots left and they were directly next to each other. Hwiyoung really did not want to sit next to Taeyang. 

 

“Hwiyoung,” Chanhee called, getting up from his seat. He must have noticed the awkward tension between him and the boy he assumed was behind him. “Why don’t you sit next to Inseong? I wanna sit next to my old pal Taeyang.” He looked behind him for a brief moment at the helpless boy who was trapped in Chanhee’s headlock. The orange haired boy dragged him to the two open seats while Hwiyoung sat calmly by Inseong’s side. There was nothing he could do to help Taeyang now. Of course, he could always tell Chanhee to stop but he wouldn’t stop tormenting the blonde even if he asked nicely. 

 

The air at the table was thick. Sanghyuk tried every attempt at making jokes to lighten the team up and Juho and Seokwoo pitched in. He assumed none of the boys knew of the situations they had. There were only three people at the table that knew of Jaeyoon and Inseong’s issue from what he could tell. This group included those two as well as Chanhee and himself. Youngbin, who was playing mother hawk right now, didn’t seem to notice and if he did he didn’t say anything. Hwiyoung didn’t miss the way Inseong’s hand inched towards his under the table for comfort. He also didn’t miss the several glances Jaeyoon sent towards Inseong, and the immediate retreat from the pink haired boy when he saw Hwiyoung’s gaze on him. Juho and Sanghyuk didn’t seem to pay any attention to Inseong, which was good. It had almost played out exactly like Chanhee had predicted. 

 

Hwiyoung and Taeyang’s issue was a bigger issue, however. Youngbin, Chanhee, and Inseong had already known before today. However, it was probably obvious after their awkward entrance and Chanhee’s eagerness to torment Taeyang. Too many people knew about too many different issues and the day was already turning out to be a mess. 

 

“Chanhee, I think you’re going to break his neck,” Sanghyuk said after a long and awkward pause in the conversation. His voice was soft and he seemed genuinely concerned for his friend. 

 

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” the blonde chanted from Chanhee’s grip. “Chanhee’s just being playful.”

 

“Chanhee, do you think you could be playful in a less violent way?” Youngbin asked with concern for his suffering friend. Taeyang had a pained look on his face and as much as Hwiyoung tried to avoid seeing it, he couldn’t help but sneak peaks. Taeyang’s eyes looked sad and his lips were turned down. He looked on the verge of crying, just without the tears. His cheeks looked puffier than usual and his hair bounced around when Chanhee shook him. Taeyang seemed so sad, or maybe even guilty, and yet he didn’t say anything and let Chanhee push him around like a doll. 

 

He knew he shouldn’t care. Taeyang upset him and made him uncomfortable so maybe the blonde deserved Chanhee’s cruel punishment. Chanhee was only looking out for him. He still didn’t like it though. As upset as he was, he didn’t like the look on Taeyang’s face. He didn’t like the sad look in his eyes or the guilty pout on his lips. He didn’t want to see Chanhee mad at the boy and he most certainly didn’t want to see Taeyang accepting it as if he deserved it. He didn’t.

 

“Chanhee, maybe you should stop.” That was all it took. The second Hwiyoung expressed his discomfort with the situation Chanhee stopped. He let Taeyang go and sat peacefully by his side. 

 

“Come on we’ve been a group for not even two weeks and we’re already awkward? Come on!” Youngbin said with a big smile on his face. He was definitely the parent of the group. He would get everybody comfortable again. “Inseong! Stop sulking. You’re supposed to be loud and obnoxious. Taeyang start smiling that’s your thing sunshine!” Taeyang sat up straight at Youngbin’s words and smiled while Inseong dramatically saluted the younger man with a ‘yes sir.’ Hwiyoung had to duck to avoid being hit in the face by the boy’s elbow. “Sanghyuk and Jaeyoon! Tell more jokes. They’re funny and they make us all laugh. Seokwoo you have to tell everyone about that man you saw at the store with the three fedoras!”

 

“Oh! Okay. You’re never going to believe this…” 

 

It was amazing how fast Youngbin got the group together again. Nobody had even questioned his orders. They didn’t need to because this was just a small bump in the road and Youngbin managed to push them all over it. Seokwoo was telling a story with a smile and a twinkle in his eye while Sanghyuk cracked jokes and cried laughing on Jaeyoon’s shoulder. Inseong managed to have the loudest laugh and had caused the rest of the group to burst into laughter when he snorted like a pig. Juho was laughing when he told a story about Jaeyoon’s strange tooth brushing habit and Taeyang made everyone smile with a story about Seokwoo’s unique taste in fashion. They were all having fun again. Even Hwiyoung was smiling and he couldn’t seem to stop. He was just so unbelievably happy. 

 

They made him so unbelievably happy.


	5. A Journey to Discover life

It was the first few days of May, a month that was usually full of sunny days and the beginnings of spring. It turned out that April had used up all of those sunny days because not one day of this new month had had clear skies so far. Every morning the sky was filled with dark clouds that only darkened as the days went on. The weather forecast was calling for sun at the start of next week. Then again, they said it was supposed to be sunny today.

 

Outside the sidewalks and walkways became rivers of rain and dirt. People ran down the streets with hurried steps and umbrellas held over their heads. The sky was dark and the rain didn’t seem anywhere close to stopping. Hwiyoung’s mother had suggested that he stay at yaja for the remainder of the day so he wouldn’t catch a cold outside. Of course he disregarded that and started his walk to FNC. 

 

Hwiyoung didn’t mind the rain. If anything, he enjoyed it. The smell of rain on days like this made him feel as if he could breathe again freely. The sound of the water pouring onto the sides of streets filled his ears and to him it sounded like a symphony. He peaked out from under his umbrella several times to see the clouds overhead, only to be hit in the face with droplets of rain. If it weren’t for the fact that he had no clothes to change into, Hwiyoung would have ditched his umbrella and let himself get soaked by the rain. 

 

Chanhee was most likely already with the rest of the boys. Hwiyoung had stayed at school a half an hour later than usual to work on a group project in one of his classes. They hadn’t been able to get much done. Hwiyoung spent most of his time drifting off and staring out the window. None of his project partners were very talkative so the room was left in relative silence for the majority of the time. The only sound keeping them company was the sound of the rain outside. Chanhee had wanted to stay with him, claiming that he could help on the project. He only agreed to go first after seeing the brothers leave the school area. 

 

FNC came into view quicker than he thought it would. He must have been zoned out for most of his walk. He was surprised his socks weren’t soaked from stepping in so many puddles along the way.

 

He carefully closed his umbrella after stepping through the door, careful to shake it out under the canopy and not inside the cafe. The lights seemed dimmer today, or maybe that was just the dullness and lack of color outside. It created a calming mood. He could barely hear the soft music that was playing over the sound of the rain. It was even harder to hear the music over the sound of Sanghyuk’s laugh. 

 

He spotted the group relatively quickly and smiled at them with a lift of his hand to get their attention. He ruffled his black hair as he walked over to get any dampness out of it. He liked his hair fluffy.

 

“Finally. We were beginning to think Chanhee might never shut up.”

 

“I don’t control him,” Hwiyoung replied to Taeyang with a cheeky smile. It had been over two and a half weeks since that night, meeting the group on a regular basis with plenty of chances to talk. Yet Taeyang and him had still not spoken about what had happened. After that day when they bumped into each other, it seemed that they both mentally agreed to forget about the entire situation. Hwiyoung hadn’t brought it up again and Taeyang seemed more than thankful to forget it ever happened. Everything was normal between them. 

 

It wasn’t until he took a seat beside Chanhee that he realized three members were missing from their party. 

 

“Where is the college trio?” Nobody at the table seemed to have an answer to his question. Sanghyuk and Jaeyoon simply shrugged while Juho started complaining about how long they were taking. Seokwoo owed him a drink from their bet and he had forgotten his wallet, under the impression that Seokwoo would be here to pay.

 

Their bet had been stupid and idiotic but for some reason the group had found it hilarious. Hwiyoung hadn’t of course. Jaeyoon hadn’t seemed overly impressed either. Somehow, after getting embarrassed at a joke, the group became convinced Hwiyoung was the shyest person they knew. Seokwoo stuck up for him and tried to convince the group that he wasn’t shy. That was how the bet began. Juho bet Seokwoo that Hwiyoung was too shy to flirt with a stranger. To make the bet more interesting, the group decided that if Hwiyoung could get more phone numbers than Jaeyoon, Juho would owe Seokwoo drinks for a week. If Jaeyoon got more numbers then Hwiyoung, Seokwoo would buy Juho drinks for a week. Hwiyoung had warned Seokwoo that he was going to lose. 

 

“I know,” Seokwoo had said. “But I can’t back out now. I’ve already made my claim. Just make it look like you’re trying.” And he had tried. He wanted to show everyone that he could do it. He failed of course. Jaeyoon had gotten nine phone numbers within a half an hour. Six of them belonged to girls and three of them belonged to guys. Hwiyoung didn’t miss the way Inseong bit his lip and visibly gulped at that information. Hwiyoung only managed to get a single number. 

 

“Take it.”

 

“Why?”

 

“That way you have at least one phone number to hold your pride up.” That was what Taeyang had said as he slipped a small piece of paper into his hand. Taeyang had the sweetest smile as he had moved Hwiyoung’s fingers aside to push the paper into his palm. His smile had also been the saddest. He was grateful for the paper Taeyang had given him. Everyone had congratulated him as if him getting a stranger’s number was his biggest accomplishment. They asked who gave it to him, what the person looked like and what he did to win them over. He refused to tell. 

 

“Finally! I have been waiting for my- hey, Inseong are you okay?” The three boys walked into the cafe together, soaking wet umbrellas at their sides. Inseong’s hair dripped with rain and strands laid stuck to his face. Youngbin looked relatively dry, as did Seokwoo. Inseong almost looked sick, his cheeks were droopy and his arms hung loosely. His head lolled to the side which made him seem as if he hadn’t slept in days.

 

The wet boy took a seat beside Hwiyoung and he leaned away from him slightly to avoid getting wet. Youngbin and Seokwoo sat down at the other side of the table. They all looked exhausted. As if to prove his point, Youngbin dropped his head onto the table with a loud thud. 

 

“I don’t even know where to start. You guys look like you just outran a train are you alright?” Juho, who had just been dying for his victory beverage, now looked deeply concerned for the three boys. Hwiyoung was glad Juho said something because he had no idea what to say. Youngbin looked as if he had already fallen asleep on the cafe table. Seokwoo’s eyes looked heavy with sadness and his lips were held together in thin lines. Someone could argue that the the two boys might have just had a bad night of sleep. Inseong looked worse, though. He looked a lot worse. The boy’s hair was matted to his head more than usual and his hands sat still in his lap. He was slouched over and silent with dreary looking eyes and water droplets dripping from his chin. His clothes were soaked and his eyes were a bit red. They looked bloodshot. 

 

“Yeah, we’re-”

 

“This is fucking dumb!” Everyone had flinched back at Inseong’s outburst. Hwiyoung felt himself bump into Chanhee who had jumped at the sound of the older boy’s voice. Inseong was standing again, dripping water onto the tiled floor. His hands were balled in fists and his lips were held together in a very angry looking way. “We worked so hard on that! And okay, maybe it wasn’t perfect, but Professor Shin didn’t have to be such an asshole about it!” 

 

“What is going on? What happened with your prof?” Chanhee asked, reaching his hands across Hwiyoung to motion for the boy to calm down. Inseong either didn’t notice or didn’t care. 

 

“Our movie got a shit grade and Professor Shin got mad at us,” Youngbin explained, his voice muffled by the table. 

 

“He had no reason to be mad at us,” Inseong argued. He had started pacing across the floor. Hwiyoung thought that if this was a cartoon there might be steam fuming from his ears. 

 

“He gave us this big lecture on life,” Seokwoo started explaining over the sound of Inseong’s heavy footsteps. “He went on about how our movie was the farthest thing from life, and that we know absolutely nothing.”

 

“Inseong got it the worst,” Youngbin said, pitching into the conversation. “The movie was mostly his idea so Prof made sure Inseong got the message more than Seokwoo and I.” Inseong angrily sat back down in the booth. He placed his elbows on the table and ruffled his hair in an ansty fashion before standing back up again to resume his pacing.

 

“But it’s just a school project. He’s a teacher, he had no reason to yell at Inseong,” Jaeyoon said. Seokwoo agreed with him and it looked like the majority of the table did as well. 

 

“I just don’t get it,” Inseong said, his hand coming up to hide his face only to be pulled back away in confusion. “It’s a dumb movie. All the other kids did things like an average family’s home life or the daily routine of a convenience store clerk. Movies are supposed to be interesting and cool. Movies are supposed to have a story to them. Watching the other movies, I felt like I was slowly dying as my soul seeped out of my last dying brain cells.” Inseong sat back in his seat and copied Youngbin’s position with his head on the table. His arms came around to hide his face and he curled up to make himself look as small as possible.

 

“We all have to remake our movies now. It’s the semester final,” Youngbin said with a sad look on his face. The man who seemed to have himself together in every situation looked as if he had been stabbed in the heart.

 

“That’s something else I don’t get,” Seokwoo said with a whine to his voice. “Professor Shin lectured every group in our class but ours was the only one that had to stay after for additional lecturing and yelling.”

 

“‘You’re doing it all wrong,’” Inseong began, imitating his professor. His lips had an exaggerated downward slant to them and his voice had changed pitches to represent his stuck up teacher. “‘What do you think life is, a middle school theater production? No person just walks around streets picking up trash or washing windows for free. I have never seen anything more pathetic in my years as a teacher.’”

 

Chanhee scoffed at his impression of the boys’ professor. In Hwiyoung’s opinion, he sounded like a jerk. A teacher’s job is to help students, not to insult them and make them feel worse about themselves. Seokwoo scoffed with him, jerking his thumb at Inseong.

 

“Professor Shin called him an overused tissue without a purpose.”

 

“Screw this guy!” Sanghyuk stated with a look of pure disbelief on his face. This was followed by a ‘fuck him’ from Taeyang and a ‘let’s get him fired’ from Chanhee. 

 

“For now we have to focus on the bigger problem,” Seokwoo stated as he pulled a piece of paper and a pen from the inner pockets of his jacket. “We need a new movie idea and this one has to be so realistic that it makes Professor Shin eat his own words.” He placed the paper gently on the table and looked around at his friends.

 

At Seokwoo’s cue, the group started shouting their ideas for a new movie. Jaeyoon recommended a documentary of a person’s day to day life. Inseong argued that it needed a stronger story. Juho suggested they recreate crimes from old police reports. Youngbin argued that they needed solid characters. 

 

Every idea that was thrown out was rejected by Inseong or Youngbin. It needs solid characters. It needs a message. It has to have a consistent setting. It needs to be based on life. Taeyang’s idea was the closest any of them got to acceptance. His idea was to follow people through life. They could watch the kids grow up to be old adults. He was sure they could find actors to play the kids in every age group. Inseong thought it was too big of an idea to fit into a short movie. Taeyang’s idea did sprout an interesting question though.

 

“What is life?”

 

“You know, Inseong, if you need to ask us this then maybe prof wasn’t completely wrong.”

 

“Shut up. I’m being serious for like the first time in my life.” 

 

Nobody had an answer. Nobody could think of any possible explanation for life besides the dictionary definition Chanhee looked up. It was hard to come up with a movie idea for life when none of them had any idea what life even was. 

 

How could anyone describe life? Hwiyoung’s life was pretty average. He went to school, met with his friends, talked with his parents. He ate, slept, and did stuff like a living human was expected to. He knew his life was considered ‘normal’ but he couldn’t figure out why. He had never thought of it this way before. What was his life? It wasn’t like his life could convey any message with a story. Maybe life was a tougher subject then he thought. 

 

“What about a journey to discover life?” 

 

“Jaeyoon, if we do that then there needs to be a final discovery. We don’t have that.”

 

“Okay, jackass. Hear me out for a second,” Jaeyoon playfully scolded Inseong after his idea was shut down without a second though. “What if we make the movie about us? We could record ourselves when we meet up and see what happens in our lives. As we record, we try to find the meaning of life. If we don’t find it, then that’s the end. Because life doesn’t need a definition or a meaning if you’re living it to the fullest.”

 

“... Deep.” The entire table burst into laughter at Sanghyuk’s blunt comment. It took Inseong a while to shush the table after he stopped laughing himself. 

 

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” he said pointing to Seokwoo. “You are my scribe. Write this down.” Seokwoo mouthed a sarcastic ‘yes boss’ with a roll of his eyes before writing down what Jaeyoon had said. 

 

“And how exactly are we supposed to find the meaning of life?” Chanhee asked with a side smirk. Inseong shot it right back at him.

 

“The… uh. Hold on I have to make this sound right in my head so I don’t look stupid- don’t comment on that. The parts- no. Life… stages of- no. nope that’s not right. Nine… stages. Oh! I got it! The Nine Stages of Life.”

 

“And somehow you managed to look stupid anyways.” Inseong rolled his eyes at Youngbin and placed his hands on the table in front of him. He reminded Hwiyoung of a police officer from a television show in the moments where they interrogated the prisoners. 

 

“The Nine Stages of Life. Think about it. There are nine of us. So what if everybody chooses one event. It could be any event, any activity. As long as we are all together for this activity, it doesn’t matter. It also can’t be illegal; Chanhee I’m talking to you.” Chanhee smiled mischievously as all eyes turned to him. “We can record each event and we can go in any order. Whoever has an idea for a stage can put it out there and then that’s what we do. Every person gets one stage so choose wisely.”

 

“This isn’t a horrible idea,” Seokwoo said placing his pen down and stretching his fingers. “It’s definitely about life. And it can’t get much more realistic then non-staged footage of a real event.”

 

“Alright then. Who’s ready to make an awesome movie?”

 

♦

 

“I should be at school.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t. I’ll be over later to make you some ramen.”

 

“It’s just a dumb cold.”

 

“And your dumb cold is getting you strawberry milk and ramen after school. So stop complaining and take a nap or something.” Hwiyoung took the phone away from his ear and ended the call to resume his search. It was his last recess of the day and he decided to spend part of it at the school store. It was more of a snack bar then a store, although they did sell notebooks and a limited amount of school supplies. Chanhee already had ramen at his house, but he didn’t have strawberry milk. 

 

Chanhee had gotten sick the day after meeting with their group of friends. They hadn’t been able to meet again for the past four days, Youngbin claiming that they would meet all together or not at all. Hwiyoung assumed he would just push through it like he usually did, coming to school with the sole motivation of infecting every other kid in the building. Chanhee told him that he had planned on doing that until he slept in this morning.

 

So Hwiyoung decided that after school, he would go to Chanhee’s house with strawberry milk in hand to cheer him up. Now that he was looking at his options, though, he didn’t think Chanhee would mind if he got tteokbokki crackers as well. 

 

“Oh, Youngkyun.” Hwiyoung looked up from where he had placed his items on the counter to the girl standing behind it. He couldn’t say that he remembered her. “I saw your test scores. Great job,” she said pulling a plastic bag out. She started scanning the items and placing them in the bag with a giddy smile. 

 

He felt bad for not recognizing her when she clearly recognised him. He wondered how she recognised him. They couldn’t have been in any of the same classes, otherwise she would have called him Hwiyoung. It wasn’t her fault, though. Youngkyun was his listed name.

 

“Ah, thank you so much,” he said reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet. 

 

“Don’t worry about paying. It’s on me. Please enjoy the rest of your day!”

 

“No, no,” he said pulling the money out of his wallet anyways. “Please, it wouldn’t feel right if you paid for me,” he said making sure to pull out the correct amount. She just shook her head, lightly pushing his money back at him.

 

“It’s a gift,” she said, the same giddy smile plastered across her face. “I’m sure you’ve gotten many of them from other kids as well.” She handed the bag of milk and chips to him and motioned for the next kid to come up to the counter. 

 

She wasn’t wrong. He had gotten many gifts from other kids for doing so well on his test. Most of the gifts were snacks or cookies left on his desk with positive notes. Some people just left him sweet messages of encouragement drawn with hearts and smiley faces. The gifts made him uncomfortable. The food was always given to Chanhee and the notes always ended up stored in a box on his desk. He wouldn’t feel right throwing them away. 

 

After hurriedly shoving the money back into his wallet, he began his walk back to his classroom with a sigh. One more class. He only had to sit through Korean history and then he could go see Chanhee. 

 

Korean history was a long class, though. It was no longer timewise than any of his other classes; he just felt like he was sitting in the same room, listening to the same lecture for hours on end. The moment when the bell finally rang sounded like pure freedom to him. 

 

He grabbed the notebooks on his desk, shoving them into his backpack before throwing the oversized bag onto his shoulders. He picked up the bag with the chips and milk and bolted out of the door. The next bus wouldn’t come for another ten minutes, plenty of time to use the bathroom first. 

 

He decided to use the bathroom by the north wing of the school. It wasn’t the closest one to him, but he preferred not going to the bathroom around other people if he could avoid it. The bathroom in the north wing was always empty at the end of the day because all the kids headed towards the south wing to leave school. The classrooms in the north wing were mostly used for extra curricular activities anyways. 

 

After relieving himself, he checked himself in the mirror to fix his hair. He didn’t want to show up at Chanhee’s house looking like a complete disaster.

 

“What are you making yourself so pretty for?” Hwiyoung spun around fast, hitting his arm on the sink and stumbling backwards into the wall. A tingling pain exploded across his arm but he just rubbed his arm into his side and ignored it. “Are you making yourself pretty for me?” He figured they would be gone by now, that the Choi brothers would have left for home already. They had left early every other day so why would they stay after today, of all days? Was it because Chanhee wasn’t here to protect him? 

 

His bags were by the doorway the brothers happened to be standing in front of. He couldn’t go around them, after all it was a bathroom, not an open hallway. He should have just waited and gone to the bathroom at Chanhee’s house.

 

“He asked you a question.” He flinched at Sungmin’s voice. The boy’s tone was loud and stern. He could feel his breath shaking even though he wished it would stop. He balled his hands into fists to stop them from shaking as well. He wished he didn’t look as vulnerable as he did. Maybe if he talked back and tried to walk past them he would look less scared. If he didn’t look scared maybe they would just let him leave. 

 

“I wasn’t making myself pretty, and I certainly wasn’t doing it for you,” he said in a quiet voice as he walked forward towards his bags. As he reached for them Sungmin pushed him back with a hard shove. He stumbled backwards and fell on his ass, his hands stinging from catching his fall. From this angle they towered over him. 

 

Sungwoo wasted no time walking over to him, getting down on his knees and throwing one leg over his body. The boy was full on straddling him as he reached to place his hands behind his neck. Hwiyoung pushed him to the side hard enough to slam the boy into the stall to his right. Sungwoo’s arms flailed as he hit his head on the door and fell to the ground. Hwiyoung scooted backwards as far as he could before he hit the wall again. 

 

“That wasn’t very nice,” Sungmin said with a frown and pointed eyes. He started walking towards him slowly. The way he walked looked confident. He could probably see the fear radiating off of Hwiyoung right now. The boy crouched down in front of him and tilted his chin up. 

 

He could kick Sungmin in the balls but the boy would do it right back and he really didn’t want that. He couldn’t run past them, not with both of them right in front of them. If he hurt one of them the other would just stop him from running and hurt him more. He was trapped like an animal. 

 

“Sungwoo. What looks the prettiest about Kyun today?” Sungwoo crouched down next to his brother and raked his eyes all over Hwiyoung’s body. His eyes traveled from his face all the way down to his hips before coming back up again. It made him immensely uncomfortable. Sungwoo pressed his lips together and hummed as his eyes traced every feature of Hwiyoung’s body. 

 

“His jawline.” Hwiyoung started kicking at Sungmin. He flailed his arms around and screamed for help. He think he got one good kick in before Sungmin managed to hold his legs down. Sungwoo climbed across him and grabbed at his chin but Hwiyoung head butted him. Sungwoo fell onto his brother and Hwiyoung tried to get up but he was too dizzy to see. There was black spots across his vision and he heard ringing in his ears. Head butting was obviously not a good option because he was out of his senses now. He felt one of the brothers crawl on top of him to hold his legs down while the other, who he assumed was Sungwoo, held his arms above his head with one hand and tilted his head with the other.

 

This is the position lovers made in romance movies, wasn’t it? The man held the woman’s hands above her head so she couldn’t move them. It didn’t feel very romantic to Hwiyoung.

 

He tried to scream but Sungmin just slid the tie out from under his collar and shoved the bunched up cloth into his mouth to keep him quiet. Sungwoo was really having the time of his life. Hwiyoung’s head was tilted to the side and Sungwoo was tracing his lips across every part of his exposed jawline. He kissed up and down the side of his face and he was pretty sure he could feel the boy’s teeth grazing across his skin. He wanted to vomit. 

 

He jerked his head hard when Sungwoo started sucking below his jaw. The boy’s hand slipped and Hwiyoung’s head was free, not that he could do much without his arms and legs. 

 

“What else?” Sungmin asked. Hwiyoung didn’t want to watch as Sungwoo traced his eyes across his body again. He couldn’t scream with the tie stuffed in his mouth and he couldn't seem to push it out. 

 

He felt the boy’s hands move to tug at his shirt collar and he felt his shirt buttons come undone one by one.

 

“Lee ee aone!” he screamed through the tie. He jerked his shoulder forward to try to push Sungwoo’s hands away but the boy seemed unphased. When his shirt was fully unbuttoned and his chest was exposed he started trying to kick again.

 

Sungmin pressed his hands against Hwiyoung’s kneecaps forcefully as Sungwoo placed one hand on his chest. The touch made him squirm and jerk his shoulders around to push the boy away. He felt disgusting, violated and used in this position. Sungwoo slowly lowered his head and gently kissed the center of Hwiyoung’s chest. He popped his chest forward to push Sungwoo away and screamed again.

 

“Okay, that’s enough now Sungwoo. I think it’s time we had a conversation.” Sungwoo nodded and settled for placing his hand on Hwiyoung’s thigh instead. His hand was way farther up than he ever wanted it to be. The boy moved his fingers around, practically rubbing his inner thigh. He let out another mangled scream and attempted to jerk his leg away from the brother. “We told you to fail the test. You didn’t. We told you to drop in class rank. You didn’t. Are we not being clear enough?”

 

His cheek stung as the other side of his head hit the wall behind him. He would deal with being slapped over being defiled any day. There came another, and another, and another until his cheeks felt numb. 

 

“Stop it Sungmin,” his brother said with a mischievous grin. “You wouldn’t want to damage that pretty face of his.” Sungwoo brought his face uncomfortably close to Hwiyoung’s. The boy smiled as he looked from Hwiyoung’s eyes to his lips and moved his own closer and closer.

 

“What the hell?” Hwiyoung looked towards the door of the bathroom as Sungwoo backed away. Chanhee.

 

“Why the fuck are you here low life?”

 

“I came for my strawberry milk.” His friend moved forward and grabbed Sungmin by the shoulders, throwing him into the bathroom stall. There came a loud thump that sounded like Sungmin’s head hitting the bowl of the toilet hard enough to break it. Sungwoo had already moved away from him but Chanhee showed him no mercy. He picked the boy up by the collar of his shirt and punched him in the jaw. He heard the boy scream as he fell back down to the floor but Chanhee wasn’t done. He dragged Sungwoo by the ear to the toilet and shoved his face into the water. 

 

He saw Chanhee whispering something to Sungwoo but he didn’t really care at the moment. He reached up to pull his tie out of his mouth and used the back of his hand to wipe the spit off of his jaw. He rubbed his fingers over his stinging cheeks and watched as Sungwoo, hair dripping with toilet water, ran to get Sungmin. He grabbed his brother, who seemed to have trouble walking straight, by the arm and tugged them both out of the room.

 

“Are you okay? Hey, Hwiyoung are you okay?” He shook his head in response. How could he be okay?

 

“Why are you here?” Hwiyoung asked in between his coughs as Chanhee helped him up off the floor. 

 

“I had a bad feeling.” Chanhee walked Hwiyoung over to the sink and he looked at his reflection. His shirt was wide open and his cheeks looked redder than usual. Other than that, there was nothing physically wrong. That didn’t go the same for the rest of him however. His head felt like it had been cracked open, a pounded headache deciding to reside behind his eyes. He tried wiping at his jaw but no matter how much he scrubbed at it with water and paper towels the feeling wasn’t going away. He scrubbed the front of his chest and he even went as far as to wipe the front of his pants, as if there was anything to wipe away other than the feeling of Sungwoo’s hand. 

 

He started breathing heavier and more rapidly until he just started crying. He fell onto the floor and curled his knees up to his chest and cried. He hated Sungwoo and Sungmin. He hated them. They did this to him and they didn’t even have a reason. They made him feel so violated that he couldn’t even be touched others. He just didn’t understand why they picked on him so much, why they hated him. Why did they have to make him feel this way?

 

“Hwi!” Chanhee dropped down to his side and pulled him into his arms. They sat on the floor like that, Hwiyoung curled up in Chanhee’s arms crying while Chanhee patted his hair and rocked him back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. They’re gone. They won’t touch you anymore.”

 

“I… I hate them, they- I hate them so much. Of all- why… why does it have to be me?” Chanhee shushed him and rubbed his hand up and down Hwiyoung’s shoulder. He just wanted to stay in Chanhee’s arms comfortably like this. He would get through it though, because Chanhee was by his side; and he knew Chanhee would never do anything to hurt him.


	6. Secrets and Apologies

It took about an hour and a half, but Hwiyoung finally made a conclusion: his ceiling was very boring to look at. He had been sitting on his bed for a while now, time having left his mind completely. He wasn’t even under the covers. He just laid flat on his bed, staring at the plain white ceiling above him. 

 

His mind had drifted to several different places over the past few hours or so. One thought in his mind had been going to school for the day, after all it was a Tuesday. He thought of all the ways he could avoid common hallways the brothers used and how easy it would be to find Chanhee. He also thought about the amount of effort that would take. He had pretended to be sick, apparently well enough to have his parents believe he should stay home from school for two days in a row. 

 

It was pouring outside, which was also another thought that passed through Hwiyoung’s mind. He wouldn’t want to walk to school through that and risk soaking his uniform, but he wouldn’t mind running around in the rain in a plain tee. The thought had crossed his mind several times, actually. He had even gotten out of his bed once, about two hours ago, to change but when he got up he realized the rain had stopped. It reappeared soon after he sat back down and continued to switch on and off like a kid playing with a light switch. 

 

He groaned dramatically to himself after hearing his phone vibrate on his bedside table. He couldn’t find it at first, not bothering to move his head to see it, but rather feeling around for it with his hands. To his surprise, he found it and got it in his hands without dropping it.

 

9:35 Chanboy: Your parents are gone right?

9:37 YoungYoung: Go to school.

9:37 Chanboy: Answer my question.

9:38 YoungYoung: At work.

9:38 Chanboy: Good. Then open the window.

 

Hwiyoung sighed as loud as he could before rolling himself off of his bed. He figured that if he fell on the floor hard enough he might just get the motivation to stand up. He fell with a loud thud and groaned as he laid in the exact same position he had been in on the bed, only now he was on the floor. 

 

“Get a hold of yourself Hwiyoung,” he coached himself as he tried to refocus his eyes. He had spaced out staring at the tiny details in his ceiling. “You can take another nap later. Chanhee now, nap later.” He hauled himself up into a sitting position with a grunt and made his way over to the window slowly. He unlatched the window and slid it up so it was fully open.

 

The rain had stopped for the moment. The streets outside were shiney with fresh rain and the sky was darkened by angry looking clouds. It looked like there was clear skies on the way, though.

 

“Gosh! Took you long enough!” Hwiyoung looked down, startled by Chanhee’s voice. 

 

“What are you doing?” he screamed as he rushed to find a shirt lying around. He had only expected Chanhee, not Jaeyoon, Sanghyuk, and Taeyang with him. He fell backwards and pulled his wardrobe drawers open as hard as he could. He heard the latter fall against his window sill and pulled his shirt over his head as quickly as he could. He flattened down his bed head hair and hoped it looked at least somewhat presentable. He was sure he looked like a mess anyways. “Chanhee, you couldn’t have told me you were bringing other people?” Chanhee just smirked at him as he pulled himself through the window opening.

 

“It’s more fun this way. Not my fault you look like you just crawled out of a trash can.” Jaeyoon climbed in next, looking around his room in awe. Hwiyoung’s room wasn’t anything special. The walls were a light blue color that resembled the skies on clear days. The carpet was a deep blue color that was closer to black than blue. His desk and bed frame were white, along with most other things in his room. He had red flowers on his desk and twinkle lights hanging from the ceiling.

 

“You’re rich?” Hwiyoung didn’t know how to answer Jaeyoon’s question, which felt more like a statement to him. He felt himself subconsciously rubbing his arm and he noticed his toes as started twiddling around. He had never liked talking about money with anyone. Chanhee never took advantage of it beyond meals and strawberry milks and nobody at school knew. Why did he feel so embarrassed? 

 

“My parents are rich,” he clarified as Sanghyuk fell through the window opening and onto his ass. He heard a quiet ‘fuck’ from the boy as he rubbed his pained butt and struggled to stand up. Taeyang came in last. Hwiyoung tried not to focus too much on him. “Anyways,” he said once everyone was gathered in his room, “is there any reason there are four boys in my room when I should be napping?”

 

“Stop it,” Chanhee commanded jokingly as he threw himself onto Hwiyoung’s bed. He made himself look comfortable with his hands behind his head and a content sigh. “You probably already took three naps today anyways. And we all know you aren’t sick. So I brought company over to entertain you since we both know you wouldn’t leave your room willingly.”

 

“You should have been in school,” Hwiyoung muttered, taking a seat at the base of his bed on the floor. He looked up at the three boys standing around him and realized something. “What about you guys?”

 

“What about us?”

 

“Well you are too old to be in highschool. If you were in college you would be there. What about jobs? Or other schools? We barely know anything about you.” Sanghyuk coughed like he was ready to start a presentation as he stepped forward to be in the center of their small circle. He smiled at everyone with puffy cheeks and a smirk on his lips.

 

“Well, hi. My name is Sanghyuk. I’m 22 years old, I like music, and I attend a professional singing school.” Chanhee gave a big ‘woah’ to him and seemed intrigued. Jaeyoon just tsked and shook his head while Hwiyoung and Taeyang laughed at Sanghyuk’s silliness.

 

“That’s not the good stuff though. Come one. Details man. We want to get to know you. You aren’t applying for a job,” Jaeyoon encouraged, taking a seat at the end of Hwiyoung’s bed by Chanhee’s feet. Taeyang moved to sit next to Hwiyoung on the floor, no room left on the bed. He noticed the space between them that was left intentionally. 

 

“Okay, fine. Hello! My name is Sanghyuk and I’m an enthusiastic extrovert with a really cute smile and a tendency to publicly embarrass myself.” Taeyang burst out laughing and slapped his leg in an attempt to catch his breath. 

 

“Tell them-” Taeyang couldn’t even finish his sentence before laughing again. “Tell them about what you did- what you did to Yoon.”

 

“Oh, Oh! So I think my most memorable moment in life is the time I brought Jaeyoon to the local mall to buy creepers because it was a life or death situation. This homophobic lady called me out for being gay and I got all confused so she accused Jaeyoon and I of being a couple. So, instead of correcting her like a normal person would, I grabbed him by the waist made out with him right in front of her.”

 

Taeyang collapsed on the floor laughing and Hwiyoung looked up to see Jaeyoon with the biggest pout on his bright red face. Sanghyuk started laughing, snorting so loud that the room exploded into laughter. Hwiyoung fell against the bed laughing at Sanghyuk’s story and he heard Chanhee gasping for breath behind him.

 

“This bastard stole my first kiss,” Jaeyoon said with a tiny voice, so quiet Hwiyoung could barely hear him. Taeyang erupted into laughter again. His smile was bright. His teeth were showing through his smile and his cheeks were puffing out. He looked- Hwiyoung refused to finish that thought.

 

“You got your revenge when you slapped me in front of her though!” Sanghyuk cried. “You couldn’t have waited just a little more to make it believable?” Jaeyoon stood up and pushed Sanghyuk to his vacant spot on the bed. 

 

“I’m next. Hi, my name is Lee Jaeyoon, I am 23 years old and I go to professional dance classes. Now should I make this more interesting?” Taeyang shook his head up and down at the older boy like an excited puppy. “Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is Yoon and I’m an excitable, nervous, wreck with too much self esteem but cute eyes so the rest doesn’t really matter.” Jaeyoon winked at Taeyang and the room descended into laughter again. Hwiyoung couldn’t breath, he felt his head pulsing from the laughing but he couldn’t care less. 

 

“Mr. Lee Yoon,” Sanghyuk started with a deep voice, holding his hand out to Jaeyoon as a microphone. “What gossip worthy secrets do you have hidden away in that mind of yours? Fans would love to know.”

 

“Well,” Jaeyoon started. His eyes traveled around Hwiyoung’s room, searching for an idea. He stuck his tongue between his lips and the corners lifted at the hint of an idea. “Well, my first kiss may have been stolen by an incomprehensible asshole, but my virginity was stolen by someone a lot sweeter.”

 

“What? Wait what?” Chanhee asked screaming at the older boy. Hwiyoung felt Chanhee’s hand come to his shoulder and shake him back and forth as he stared at the boy in shock. “That was your first time?” 

 

“Chanhee, hush,” Hwiyoung warned him. Jaeyoon winked at the two boys but it seemed that Sanghyuk and Taeyang were too busy screaming to realise who already knew the secret.

 

“Jaeyoon! what happened to my sweet little boy?” Jaeyoon laughed and reached for Taeyang’s hand. He pulled the boy up to his feet and took his spot on the floor.

 

“My turn? Okay, alright. Hi, my name is Yoo Taeyang. I am 20 years old and I attend dance school with Jaeyoon. That’s like, dictionary definition stuff though. My name is Tae and I’m basically a relative of the sun. I’m attractive and awesome and my only flaw is that I’m way overly affectionate.” Hwiyoung couldn’t help but feel a slight ping in his heart at Taeyang’s introduction. 

 

“Well, Mr. Yoo,” Chanhee said holding his arm over Hwiyoung’s head to act as a microphone. Jaeyoon copied him and Sanghyuk pretended to snap a picture with an imaginary camera. To add to the hype, Hwiyoung whistled and clapped as a fan. “I think everyone is wondering the same question. There has been a rumor that you flirt with many people, but is there anyone that has stolen your heart?”

 

Hwiyoung wanted to punch Chanhee. For some reason, unknown to him, he didn’t want to hear about Taeyang’s love life. He assumed Chanhee knew that but was doing this anyways to prove a point: that night meant nothing. Hwiyoung hadn’t been able to get that night out of his head even if he didn't show it. Chanhee knew he was hung up on it though. He was probably tired of hearing about it and decided to prove once and for all that Taeyang didn’t mean anything by what he did that night. 

 

“Uh, what an unexpected question,” Taeyang mumbled, composing himself as if in front of thousands of cameras immediately. “Well, to tell you the truth, my heart has been completely and utterly captured. Someone has finally tamed me! Details will not be disclosed.”

 

“That’s not fair!” Jaeyoon called out as Sanghyuk quickly agreed with him. 

 

“It’s not like you shared any descriptive details!” Taeyang argued back. Jaeyoon didn’t fight against that point. He didn’t know why, but he was kind of upset. There was a feeling in the back of his head and he didn’t quite know what it was. He was upset, but why? Was he upset that Taeyang liked someone? He couldn’t be. It was none of his business who Taeyang liked. Was it possible… no. Hwiyoung didn’t want to make himself unnecessarily hopeful. Hopeful? He faked a smile and watched as Taeyang pulled Chanhee up next.

 

“Me? Oh wow, what a moment. Okay, hello. My name is Kang Chanhee. I am 17 years old and still high school which is unbelievable with my grades. Let’s see… fun stuff. My name is Carrot Head and I am the biggest bad boy at our entire school. I have a few temper issues and a very small record with the police but it’s okay because I’m cool and handsome.” Taeyang started laughing hysterically from behind Hwiyoung where he sat on his bed. 

 

“Bad boy?” he asked. Hwiyoung could hear the doubtfulness in his voice. “Nah, you’re soft. Nobody knows this but me, but when I first found these two snacks on the street, Chanhee was just acting as a tough boy.” Taeyang turned to face Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk who seemed entranced in the story. “I merely called Hwiyoung pretty, but Chanhee threw me away from him and glared at me like an overprotective dad. I swear, Chanhee is one of the softest boys and best actors I have ever met.”

 

Chanhee rolled his eyes at the blonde boy and pulled Hwiyoung up to his feet. He argued that what Taeyang had revealed counted as his revealing story and said he was refusing questions.

 

“So, um. Hi. My name is Kim Hwiyoung-”

 

“No,” Chanhee said with a rise in his voice.

 

“No?”

 

“I know you don’t like it, but come on. Tell the whole story.”

 

“Okay, fine Carrot Head. Hi, my name is Kim Youngkyun.” He heard gasps from everyone in the room, except his friend who had more or less exposed him to everyone. “I don’t like being called by my real name, so my unofficial name is Hwiyoung. I am 18 years old and I am the top of my high school senior class.”

 

“I didn’t realize how little I knew about our friend,” Jaeyoon admitted to fill the silence that followed his confession. “Hwiyoung isn’t your real name? You’re apparently super freaking smart? You’re rich? Gosh, Hwiyoung. How long were you going to keep all of this from us?”

 

“It never came up,” he admitted with a tiny smile. Taeyang stood up immediately holding his hand out as a microphone.

 

“I have many questions. And you will either answer them or pass. Question one, why did you become friends with Chanhee if you are complete opposites?”

 

“Because when we met, we were young enough to not have those differences. Now he protects me like an older brother,” Hwiyoung stated with a smile. He was proud to admit it. Chanhee was like his biggest accomplishment that he wanted to show off to the world. 

 

“Question two. Will you ever treat us all to a nice meal?”

 

“Yes, of course. Anytime you guys want. I’ll even buy you meat.”

 

“Hwiyoung oh my gosh! Okay, okay, I’m holding you to that.” The smile on Taeyang’s face was unbelievably adorable. He was so excited and that made Hwiyoung sure that he was going to treat them to meat now. “Question three, why don’t you like being touched?”

 

“Pass.”

 

“Question four, does it make you uncomfortable when any of us touch you?”

 

“...no. Next question.”

 

“Question five, do you have a crush?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

His own answer shocked him. He hadn’t even waited a beat after Taeyang’s question to answer. His answer was so confident. He found himself holding his hands over his mouth and staring into Taeyang’s eyes with his own widened. He didn’t have a crush, did he? He was sure he didn’t. He had never had a crush. He didn’t even know how to define a crush. He barely knew how anything in that category worked so how was he so confident answering that question.

 

“Hwiyoung! You have a crush?! Really?!”

 

“Chanhee! You didn’t know? How?!”

 

“No! Did you?” 

 

The room was full of whispers and screams of shock at the fact that, apparently, Hwiyoung had a crush. Time to change the topic to avoid any further questions he wouldn’t be able to answer.

 

“End of questioning!” he said sitting down between Jaeyoon and Chanhee on the floor. Chanhee nudged his side and he shoved him right back, ignoring his mental questioning. He didn’t exactly have an explanation at the moment.

 

“Hey… not to direct the attention away from the hot topic of today, but Youngbin just texted me,” Taeyang said, showing his phone to the group. The contact name ‘Binnie’ displayed on his phone with a colorful bubble and a message nobody could read with Taeyang’s moving hand. “He says he has an idea for the first stage of life.”

 

♦

 

“So, to be clear, anyone can recommend an idea, right?” Youngbin asked. Inseong confirmed that he was correct. Youngbin stood in front of the big table at FNC the group had come to sit at every time they met. He was wearing a zip-up hoodie and dark jeans. He told everybody to dress warmly before coming, as if they would show up in shorts and a tank top with the rain as unpredictable as it had been all day. The skies were clear now but the air was relatively cold. 

 

The group had split up from Hwiyoung’s home to change into comfortable clothes but Taeyang was wearing one of Hwiyoung’s black hoodies. Taeyang’s home was too far of a walk so he had let the blonde boy borrow one of his. He didn’t want to admit it, but he liked the way Taeyang looked in his clothing.

 

“So, since we are focusing on life, I thought maybe we could light a fire.”

 

“I thought Chanhee would be the concerning one,” Inseong mumbled, giving Youngbin the most apologetic look it seemed he could muster up. “The rules clearly stated ‘nothing illegal.’”

 

“What? I wasn’t talking about lighting a building on fire or anything!” Inseong looked confused. He opened his mouth and closed it again.

 

“What else would we light on fire then…?” 

 

“Preferably wood.” Inseong’s face turned from confusion to realization. As the oldest boy of the group realized what Youngbin was suggesting, the round faced boy rolled his eyes and waited for the laughter to die down. “Instead of lighting a building on fire and committing arson, I was thinking we could go down to Oido Beach, since it’s in Ansan. We could light a fire on the beach and just enjoy the time. I’m sure you’d catch some interesting secrets of life caught on camera with us all together in the dark night.”

 

Everybody seemed to be on board with Youngbin’s idea. The thought of relaxing by a warm fire with his friends seemed pleasantly nice. 

 

“Alright then. The Nine Stages of Life. Stage One: Fire on the Beach.”

 

It didn’t take long to get down to Oido Beach. They all took a bus to the beach which was close to empty as the sky descended into darkness. Youngbin chose a spot that was close to the water and was also close to the sides of the beach which had plenty of sticks to build a fire with. Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk were tasked with building a small pit for the fire. Youngbin, Inseong, and Taeyang all gathered sticks for to light the fire with. Juho and Seokwoo gathered rocks together to make a ring around the fire and Hwiyoung and Chanhee were sent to the store to get marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate. It had been a lucky game of rock paper scissors for them. 

 

“So… you have a crush?” Hwiyoung rolled his eyes at Chanhee’s question as he drifted into the next isle over in search of graham crackers. They had found the closest convenience store to the beach and started their mission for s’more materials. Chanhee was given the camera because the others were doing dirty work by building the fire. The camera was less likely to be damaged on a trip to the convenience store. 

 

“Really? Now? With the camera recording?” Chanhee nodded as he came around the corner, recording Hwiyoung as he looked through the options for the crackers he needed. Chanhee hadn’t found the chocolate, like he was supposed to, and was instead completely focused on Hwiyoung. “Uh, no, I do not,” he clarified grabbing a box of crackers from the shelf. He held them up to the camera to block him from view and go in search of the chocolate Chanhee had neglected to find. 

 

“But earlier you said you have a crush. I think I know who it is too.” Hwiyoung could almost hear Chanhee’s grin in his voice. He squatted down to the bottom shelf with a variety of candies, including chocolate.

 

“Well then could you enlighten me?” He picked up two different bars and held them both out towards Chanhee. The boy motioned his head towards the Hershey so he put the other one back and picked out several more bars of Hershey Chocolate. 

 

“What do you mean? Did you not have a specific person in mind when you admitted that you had a crush?” Hwiyoung shook his head as he grabbed a bag of marshmallows from the shelf. 

 

“You know, you could help me carry these.”

 

When they returned to the beach, they found a fire build and lit on the edge of the beach. It wasn’t a big fire, but it wasn’t small considering what they had to work with. There were stones and rocks circled around the makeshift fire pit and the boys were all sitting around the fire on the sand. Hwiyoung was going to make a comment about sitting on the cold sand but Chanhee just raced over with the camera to sit by Youngbin’s side. 

 

Youngbin was sitting next to Seokwoo who was currently warming his hands on the fire. Sanghyuk sat between Seokwoo and Juho. Jaeyoon sat on the other side of Juho, watching the fire as if it was a show. There was a small gap between Jaeyoon and Inseong, barely noticable if one wasn’t looking for it. Everyone else seemed comfortable sitting where they were, except Jaeyoon and Inseong. Taeyang sat to Inseong’s right. Which meant there was only one other open space next to the blonde boy for Hwiyoung to sit.

 

He didn’t make a fuss about it and instead made his way over to the fire, sitting between Taeyang and Chanhee. He handed the snacks across Chanhee to Youngbin as Chanhee passed the camera around the fire to make its way into Seokwoo’s hands. Seokwoo slipped his hand through the strap of the small camcorder and panned it around the fire.

 

“Welcome to stage one of The Nine Stages of Life!” he announced as the group applauded and cheered at the camera. “Tonight is all about revealing our secrets and getting to know the main characters of this movie, AKA the most awesome people on the planet.”

 

“Secret one,” Sanghyuk announced raising his hand as if to ask a question. “Hwiyoung is rich and smart. He also has a crush.” 

 

“Oh we are playing that game?” Hwiyoung asked Sanghyuk with the most daring voice he could find. “Alright then, Sanghyuk made out with Jaeyoon to prove a point to an old lady.” He heard a few screams come from around the fire as Sanghyuk glared at him playfully from across the fire.

 

“What about Jaeyoon?” Sanghyuk asked sending a smirk towards the boy. “Jaeyoon lost his virginity!” Juho started yelling in surprise at the boy as Inseong fell on his side coughing. Jaeyoon patted his back like he was burping a baby as he dodged the many questions the group had for him. 

 

“Details Jaeyoon! Details!” Seokwoo chanted. Jaeyoon shook his head so fast, Hwiyoung was sure his neck would snap. 

 

“This was supposed to be peaceful. Why are we all throwing each other under the bus?” Youngbin asked as he poked the fire with a stick. Sanghyuk got up to add some more wood to the fire while Youngbin dug a flashlight out of his backpack. As cliche as he could be, Youngbin turned the flashlight on under his face. “Story time.”

 

They had argued for a while about who would tell their story first, and what story they would tell. Many of the group had suggested that Jaeyoon tell his story first, but the pink haired boy refused. They argued for so long that Seokwoo put the camera down. They had to save the battery for the interesting stuff. 

 

“What about Juho?” Hwiyoung suggested. “I think I know the least about you. What interesting stories do you have?” Everyone seemed to agree with him and started encouraging Juho to tell a story about his life.

 

“Okay. I don’t know my life isn’t very interesting. I guess there was one time, back when I was in high school. It was the day I met Jaeyoon. I was walking through the halls with spray paint in my backpack because I was going to vandalize my ass-of-a-teacher’s car. Jaeyoon found me in the halls and we bumped into each other so hard that I fell and I guess this weirdo knew the sound spray paint cans make when they drop because he just goes, ‘are you going to vandalize something?’ And I wasn’t very shy so I just admitted to it and he said he wouldn’t rat me out if we could vandalize his teacher’s car too. Turned out, we both were going to vandalize the same car. We covered that rusty piece of shit in so many colors and drawn on dicks, I’m surprised he didn’t have a heart attack when he found it. Anyways, that was how I met Jaeyoon.”

 

Hwiyoung had never pictured Juho as the vandalism type. Juho always seemed so sweet and quiet. Sure, he looked intimidating, but he wasn’t really. He was shy and awkward when they had first met. For god sakes, he wore his apron around his waist and looked like a smiley muffin. He wondered how many other stories the man had about his hidden dark past.

 

“Juho, I never knew you were so dark.”

 

“Jaeyoon, wow what happened to you?”

 

Juho had a sweet smile on his face. He looked proud of himself for what he had done in his past. Jaeyoon was smiling at him by his sides.

 

“Let’s go clockwise. I’ll go next,” Sanghyuk insisted as he began his story. “This is the story of when I met Tae. Tae was new to Yoon’s dance classes but he was already better than him. Jaeyoon told me that it was only his first day in class and everyone was praising him and telling him how well he was doing. I got mad because no way a rookie was taking my friend’s spot as best dancer in the class. I showed up to their classes one day, called him out, and challenged him to a cheesy 80’s movie dance off. He accepted and everyone gathered around us. Now, I have to tell you, Taeyang has moves. I was determined to beat him though. In my last effort to come out as champion, I attempted to do a split. I ripped my pants open in front of the entire class and I couldn’t even go all the way down and from them on I have been the joke of the entire class. On the bright side, however, Tae agreed that I won because my performance was more enjoyable.”

 

Everyone around the fire started laughing at Sanghyuk’s misfortune and he winked his friends and talked himself up as if ripping his pants was one of his biggest accomplishments. He tapped Seokwoo on the side and motioned for him to go next.

 

“Me? Huh, an interesting story? Well… okay! When I was in middle school, I think, my mom was going to a fashion show that she was sponsoring and brought me because I loved fashion, even back then. She left me alone to go speak to someone, hell if I can remember who, and so I decided that I wanted to see the models. I don’t think I was allowed backstage, but I went back there anyways. Thank god I didn’t walk in on any of the models changing. I must have still looked baby faced because most of the models were cooing at me and trying to get my attention but I was focused on this one model. I don’t know what his name was but he looked stunning. His clothes fitted him perfectly and they were made with such beautiful material. I think I was more intrigued by his outfit than him. And I asked him ‘why are you dressed up?’ and he replied ‘well I’m a model, that's what I do.’ And I remember being so confused that another male was a model because my mom always told me I wasn’t allowed to go into the fashion industry. I remember his words perfectly. ‘You can do anything you want, you aren’t limited by your age, your gender, or anything else. If you wanna be a runway model then damn, be the best runway model the world has ever seen.’”

 

Seokwoo was smiling fondly at the fire. The way he talked about fashion, being with the models backstage, it seemed like he really loved it. With the amount of clothes Hwiyoung had seen stashed away in his closet, with the name brands and the makeup knowledge, he was surprised Seokwoo wasn’t in the fashion business. He couldn’t hold back his curiosity.

 

“So why are you going to college for cinematography?” Seokwoo smiled at him and shrugged his shoulders. He had his knees held up to his chest and his sad smile was illuminated by the fire.

 

“My mom wouldn’t let me go for fashion. She said I couldn’t go into the fashion industry because she is a movie director, and I had to follow her footsteps. She knew I loved fashion as a kid. I had more dress up clothes and name brand kid outfits than any kid ever did.” Youngbin patted Seokwoo’s shoulders and he smiled at him. “Youngbin, what about you? Your turn for a story.”

 

“Hmm, I don’t think I have a story as grand as either of yours. There was a time in high school, though. It was my first year and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing with my life, I mean I was a disaster. I always sat in the back of the classroom, rarely had completed homework, and on one occasion I threw a text book out of a window. I went to high school in Seoul, so you wouldn’t know him, but the homeroom teacher I had that year changed my life. He came up to me one day, and he said ‘I don’t know much about your home situation, but I found a stray dog a couple weeks ago. I put out flyers and searches for his owner but nobody ever came. He has been vaccinated and he is just a baby pup. You seem like you could use a friend.’ I was shocked but I accepted the dog anyways. I named him Monshi because he was so fluffy. That dog taught me more about being a human being than anyone ever could. I had the responsibility of feeding him and taking care of him. I had to make sure he was okay when there were thunderstorms and I had to make sure he was satisfied with his food. He taught me to cook. I felt bad feeding him the same meals every day so I learned to cook meals he could eat so he could live in luxury. He was there for me when I was sad and he always cheered me up. I think I’m fatherly-like now because of Monshi.”

 

Taeyang got down on his knees after Youngbin’s story, placed his hands together, and bowed to the ground. 

 

“God bless Monshi, my hero.” Seokwoo and Inseong followed suit and bowed to the ground for their hero, Monshi the dog. Hwiyoung and Chanhee held their hands up to the air and Youngbin started laughing hysterically. His breaths came out in raspy and high pitched burts as he held his stomach laughing. 

 

Hwiyoung never would have guessed that Youngbin was ever troubled in life or in school. He was glad his teacher gave him Monshi, though, because Youngbin was an amazing person and he guessed a big part of that was with Monshi’s help. 

 

Youngbin motioned for Chanhee to go next, not spending too long dwelling on one story or another. Chanhee cleared his throat and smiled at the group.

 

“Lemme tell you the story of how I could have been arrested. I think it was my freshman year of highschool. Believe it or not, I still had dark colored hair. Some asshole at my school tried to push me into a busy street on my way home one day and I got mad so I bashed his head into a railing and took his backpack with me before I left. It turned out, Mr. Asshole had stolen expensive herbs from some store I had never heard of before. I thought they were drugs and I was so relieved when they weren’t. I got called into the police station and so did the kid and his buddies after I ratted them out. We got into a big fight because the police department wouldn’t believe that it wasn’t my bag. The kids denied owning it of course. They were straight A students and I was at the bottom of the food chain so I don’t really blame the police department for not believing me. Thank God my savior, the one and only Kim Hwiyoung, was there with other students to testify that the bag belonged to the other kids. Kept my ass from being thrown in jail for stealing.”

 

“Believe it or not I’ve done that more than once for him,” Hwiyoung muttered as the group broke out into fits of laughter. Taeyang rolled across the sand laughing, covering Hwiyoung’s sweater in sand. He looked cute when he laughed. His cheeks puffed out and his teeth showed as his eyes scrunched up. Why was the sunshine boy’s smile the most beautiful sight to him? 

 

“Hwiyoung! You next!” Chanhee said handing the imaginary microphone to him. 

 

“Chanhee,” he began softly. “Should I tell them about the brothers?” Chanhee looked taken aback by his question. He didn’t blame him. He barley liked talking about them with Chanhee alone but he figured it might be time to tell the others. They deserved to know if they were going to stay friends like this. 

 

“Only if you are comfortable with it.” Youngbin nodded at him from across the fire and others seemed to be leaning in. More secrets about him that the others didn’t know.

 

“Well, um, I am the top of my class in high school. I was the top of my class last year as well. Last year, two brothers came up to me and started spilling my books and stealing my notes. I guess you could call them bullies. As the year went on they started getting more and more violent. The first brother started hurting me physically, punching me or slapping me whenever he could find me. The second brother though…”

 

Hwiyoung paused. He felt Chanhee’s hand on his shoulder but he couldn’t push the words out of his mouth. How could he even begin to describe Sungwoo? How could he even begin talking about the things Sungwoo has done to him. He cleared his throat. He already started, he couldn’t stop now. 

 

“The second brother was more affectionate. He liked touching me… a lot. The first brother, the violent one, would let him do whatever he wanted to me and if I fought back he would hit me. The second brother… he- he touches me. He touches my shoulders, my neck, my chest, my hips, my thighs, basically anywhere he wants to. He puts his disgusting mouth on me and acts like I’m his little play toy. They got worse this year when they started threatening me to drop my place as first in the class. They meet me in the halls, at bus stops, and yesterday they cornered me in the bathroom and-”

 

“Yesterday?” Taeyang voice was small but it was enough to silence everyone around the fire. “Yesterday?” he asked again, a little louder. “They still do this to you? They did this- they hurt you like this… yesterday?” Taeyang sounded hurt. He sounded like a wounded puppy and he couldn’t even bring his eyes up to look at him. 

 

“Yesterday,” he confirmed. “When Chanhee was home sick they cornered me in the bathroom. Chanhee found me though. He always protects me from them. It’s why I don’t like being touched much. I don’t mind it as much with you guys, but whenever anyone gets so close to me or…” he paused again, unsure if he should say it. “Or when people touch my neck.”

 

“This is fucked up,” Juho said from the other side of the fire. Seokwoo had been in the middle of putting more wood on the fire but had stopped when Hwiyoung told his story. He couldn’t look up, not at Taeyang. He didn’t want to see the look on his face.

 

“Hwiyoung, next time this happens, call us. We will all come and beat them up for you, all eight of us,” Inseong offered. Hwiyoung nodded with a soft smile.

 

“Thank you. But, now you guys know why Chanhee protected me so much when you started touching me. But I’m fine with it, I promise. Taeyang, it’s your turn next.” When he finally looked up at Taeyang he could feel his heart breaking. Taeyang’s eyes were wide and his eyes looked heavy with guilt. He just wanted to change the subject.

 

“I have a story. It’s about the night at the club we went to-”

 

“Taeyang, no,” Hwiyoung said hurriedly. Chanhee’s hand tightened on his shoulder as Taeyang shook his head.

 

“Taeyang, yes. It was the night we went to the club. I will admit, I got drunk. And I don’t know what happened but I found Hwiyoung and I downed Chanhee’s drink without even asking what it was. So by drunk, I mean out of my mind drunk. And I grabbed Hwiyoung’s hand and tried to teach him to dance. I won’t go into detail but I wasn’t exactly teaching him how to ballroom dance.”

 

Hwiyoung was mortified. He had his head stuffed between his legs and his arms held tightly together over his head. He could feel the heat covering his face and he knew how red he was. He wished he could just bury himself in the sand and never show his face again. 

 

“Don’t judge him because from what I can actually remember he looked like he was panicking but I was getting really into it. Long story short, I got a little too into it. I tried to kiss his neck and he backed away. I was too drunk to understand which is a shit excuse but he told me he was uncomfortable and I didn’t listen. He ran off of the dance floor and I have no idea what happened to him after that. And this whole time I have been avoiding that night because my dumb ass just figured I took it too far and fucked everything up but if I had known…”

 

Hwiyoung wanted to throw himself into the ocean and sink to the bottom to avoid Taeyang right now. He could imagine the rest of his friend’s faces when they realized what had happened. Someone began pulling his arms away from his head and he didn’t fight it. The hands grabbed the sides of his head and pull it away from his knees. Taeyang’s hand found its way under Hwiyoung’s chin and he made sure Hwiyoung was looking straight at him before he continued.

 

Taeyang was beautiful. He didn’t know how else to say it. Even in this situation, with this much embarrassment clouding his thoughts, Taeyang was still beautiful. His blonde hair fell over his eyebrows but his eyes looked as bright as stars. He didn’t know why he always found himself thinking like this. Taeyang was just a man. Taeyang was just his friend.

 

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. He had his hand holding Hwiyoung’s face in place, not that he could move it away at this point anyways. He couldn’t hear anything around him but the cracking of the fire. He couldn’t see anyone but Taeyang. “I’m so sorry. I should have said it sooner but I am so sorry. I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable like that and I can’t say this enough, but I am so sorry.”

 

How was he supposed to respond to that? ‘Thanks it’s cool.’ That didn’t sound right. ‘It’s okay’ seemed to ordinary for a situation like this. He went to open his mouth, hoping the words that would come out of his mouth unprepared would make sense without embarrassing him. Taeyang didn’t let him though. The boy pressed his hand against Hwiyoung’s mouth to stop him from speaking.

 

“I don’t want you to say that it’s okay or that you forgive me because I can’t even forgive me for that so don’t tell me you can.” But he could, he already did. He was ready to tell Taeyang it was okay, because it was. He accepted his apology. He forgave him weeks ago. He had never been angry with the blonde boy, he had just been angry with himself.

 

Taeyang sat back down with his legs crossed and tapped Inseong on the shoulder. It was Inseong’s turn to tell a story.

 

“It’s not fair if I just go back to a normal story after these two just poured out their hearts to everyone. And hey, what’s the fun in letting them have all the embarrassment. I also have a story to share about that night at the-”

 

“Inseong I swear to God I will castrate you if you speak another word.”

 

“Yeah, okay tough boy I’m just surprised it took this long to get out to everyone. We both know it would have gotten out eventually.” Hwiyoung watched as Jaeyoon visibly shrank into a ball, much like he had done before. Maybe Inseong was being a little cruel, but he was right. It could have been revealed the day after or months from now. It was better to let it all out while the mood was set.

 

“I, like Taeyang, got super drunk. But I’m not taking 100% of the blame because Pinky over here was pretty drunk too. We started talking that night and we were both drunk so I called a taxi for him. I don’t know how it happened but I ended up in the taxi with him. We both ended up at his apartment and I think Jaeyoon was still a bit out of it because he just started striping the second we walked in the door and-”

 

“Inseong what the hell?!” Inseong laughed at Jaeyoon’s embarrassment and continued his story, unaffected.

 

“So anyways I’m pretty sure he was going to shower but yeah… no. He took his shirt off and all I remember was it got really hot in the room before we started full on making out and another detail free long story short, we woke up naked in the same bed.”

 

“Jaeyoon what the fuck?” That was Juho, who looked completely shocked and disgusted at the knowledge that Jaeyoon had had sex with his friend that he barely knew. Jaeyoon had his arms crossed and hands balled so tightly to block his head that Hwiyoung could see his knuckles turning white from where he sat.

 

“But, I was a dick. I’m going to be completely honest I couldn’t even remember your name when I woke up. I forgot where I was and I had the worst headache so I just left. I didn’t even bother to wake you up. I just left. I’m sorry for that. I really shouldn’t have just left you like that and I take full responsibility for fucking you and leaving you like a one night stand. It was a dick move.”

 

Inseong leaned over and placed his arm across Jaeyoon’s shoulders and leaned his head on the pink haired boy. He gave him an over exaggerated pout, not that Jaeyoon could see because his face was still shoved between his knees.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Inseong’s whine drawled on in exaggerated aegyo and he pouted at Jaeyoon even harder than before. “Jaeyoon~” he called. Jaeyoon shoved his head down even further as if it was at all possible. “Yoonie~ Yoonie are you mad at me?” 

 

“Well I am now you dick. Nobody else needed to know that,” Jaeyoon responded with a muffled voice. Inseong dug his hands into Jaeyoons hair and pulled his head up lightly for the word to see. His face was unbelievably red. 

 

“Hwiyoung and Chanhee already knew though.”

 

“Expose us why don’t you!”

 

“Inseong come on.”

 

The group turned their eyes to Hwiyoung and Chanhee who were both glaring at Inseong for exposing them. Jaeyoon looked at the boys in disbelief before whining and falling onto the sand. Inseong smiled and crawled on top of him, holding himself over the pink boy with his arms. 

 

“What is it? Are you mad at me? Are you mad at them? Is something wrong? Are you embarrassed? Did I embarrass you?” Inseong asked questions like rapid fire at Jaeyoon with a smile. Jaeyoon was hiding his face away from the older boy but Inseong was moving his head to every place he could to get Jaeyoon to acknowledge him.

 

“This was already gross enough…” Juho said with the look of disbelief still written across his face. “Now they are being cute. Jaeyoon come on man.”

 

Jaeyoon never did get to tell his story. Inseong had begun chasing him across the beach and their screams echoed over the ocean waves. The fire had died out after the group had gone chasing after them. They started playing in the water, clothes on and all. The water was bitter cold but nobody seemed to care. Youngbin stayed off to the side, holding the camera out to record to foolishness that was occuring. Jaeyoon had tackled Inseong into the water, himself getting pulled into the cold waves. They were both laughing and coughing up salty water as they continued to roll around in the low tide. Juho was splashing water at Seokwoo and Sanghyuk who had somehow managed to pull Chanhee into their childish water fight. Chanhee was squealing as he was splashed with the cold water and Seokwoo screamed as he tripped and fell into a wave. He screamed louder after the water had gone over his head.

 

Hwiyoung just had his feet in the water. Taeyang was right beside him, doing the same. They weren’t splashing water at each other and they weren’t trying to drown each other with salty water. 

 

“I forgive you,” Hwiyoung said after they had been standing in silence for a few minutes. The other boys were still playing around in the background, but he was only focused on Taeyang.

 

“I told you not to do that.”

 

“Well, I did it anyways.” Another wave of water came over their feet, making it up to their ankles. The sand further buried their feet in the sand but neither of them made any attempt to dig them out. “I was never mad at you. I was mad at myself. If I was so uncomfortable with you then I shouldn’t have started dancing with you in the first place.”

 

“Were you?” Hwiyoung turned his head towards the blonde boy at his side. It was hard to see him in the darkness that midnight brought, but he could still make out all of his beautiful features. His eyes were brighter than the reflection of the moon on the ocean. 

 

“Was I what?” he asked confused.

 

“Uncomfortable dancing with me. I mean, before what happened.” Taeyang was looking down at his his hands which were twiddling in front of him. He looked nervous waiting for Hwiyoung’s answer. “I mean,” he started again after Hwiyoung hadn’t answered. “You seemed like you were enjoying it…” 

 

The truth was, he had been. He had enjoyed dancing with Taeyang. He had panicked, yes, but that was because he had no idea what he was doing. He had never danced with anyone before. He had never done anything like what he did with Taeyang before. 

 

“I was,” he admitted. “I mean- it was just… uh. I wasn’t- I…” Taeyang laughed. His laugh was like the sound of a million stars coming to life but he laughed. Hwiyoung wasn’t sure what made him laugh, because he was most certainly embarrassed. He had started rambling because of his own confession and Taeyang was laughing.

 

“You’re cute.” Hwiyoung dug his foot out of the sand to kick water at the older boy. 

 

“Shut up I’m embarrassed.” Taeyang kicked water right back at him. He narrowed his eyes at Taeyang before kicking water at him again. Taeyang kicked more back. Hwiyoung bent down to scoop up water in his hands before tossing it all over Taeyang. The boy screamed and bounced back from the cold water.

 

“That’s fucking cold! Oh shit!” Hwiyoung laughed and dipped his cold hands back into the water to splash more on Taeyang. The second he came up, he was met with what felt like a million thumb tacks across his arms and face. 

 

“Fuck!” he screamed as he dropped the water in his hands. “Fuck you’re right that’s cold!” Taeyang laughed and kicked more water across the bottoms of his rolled up pants. Hwiyoung kicked more back at him as he backed away from Taeyang. “Stay away from me,” he ordered through his laughing as Taeyang walked towards him, kicking water at him. “Stay back you wild beast!”

 

It felt like he didn’t have the lower half of his body anymore. He fell backwards into the water just as a wave came over and covered everything below his shoulders. He screamed loudly as the frigid water engulfed him, arms and all. His clothes were completely soaked now and Taeyang was laughing so hard that he was hunched over without any breath left. 

 

“You- you think this is f-f-f-funny?” Taeyang nodded as he let out a high pitched squeal of laughter. Hwiyoung pushed himself up to his feet, salt water dripping from his sleeves. “Come here Tae,” he order with his arms held outwards. “Give me a hug, Tae. Come on.”

 

“No, no, no, no! Stay away from me!” he yelled as he sprinted towards the damp sand away from the water. Hwiyoung chased after him, determined to catch the boy that had caused his current state. “Go away!” he screamed again as Hwiyoung reached out to grab the hood of his own sweater. He pulled Taeyang towards him and ripped the sweater off of him to expose his short sleeved shirt. He wrapped his arms around Taeyang and snuggled his head onto his shoulders. He was back hugging Taeyang. Before he could even realize what he was doing, Taeyang screamed and tried to squirm away from him. “Cold! Cold! Ahh, Hwi you’re so fucking cold oh my Jesus!” Hwiyoung refused to let go of the older boy and instead, started to back up towards the ocean. 

 

Taeyang started fighting against him, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. He was failing miserably as Hwiyoung brought him closer and closer to the water. When they got deep enough for the water to be over their ankles, Hwiyoung tugged Taeyang down with him as they both fell into the frigid water. Another wave came over which drenched Taeyang’s entire head. They let out screams together as the water consumed them.

 

“Fuck you Hwi! This is some evil shit!” he cried as he helped pull Hwiyoung out of the water. Both of the boys were visibly shaking from the cold as they made their way over to the sweater Hwiyoung had dropped carelessly in the sand. Taeyang was about to pick it up but Hwiyoung got to it first. He took the sweater and pulled it around Taeyang’s shoulder to give him some warmth. 

 

“I’ll wash it,” Taeyang said with a goofy smile. “And I’ll return it when it’s clean.” Hwiyoung agreed and was about to go find his own sweater which was left by the fire when Taeyang wrapped his arms around him. Even covered by the sweater, his arms were warm and felt nice around him. “Have you ever seen the movie The Day After Tomorrow?” Hwiyoung shook his head and told him that he hadn’t. He kept his voice as steady as he could with his shivering and shock of their sudden situation. “Well, in the movie, the love interest hugs the main character because he just came out of really cold water. The love interest says that he needs to be warmed up with physical contact because if he stays cold his heart will stop. I’m warming you up.”

 

Hwiyoung struggled to find words to respond to the boy. Taeyang had his head placed on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around his back. Slowly, he wrapped his own arms around Taeyang’s shivering body. He placed his head on Taeyang’s shoulder and let himself melt into Taeyang’s hug. Taeyang gave warm hugs, even if he was freezing.

 

“Hey, what are you trying to compare yourself to?” he asked with a smile the older boy couldn’t possibly see.

 

“The love interest.”


	7. Gathering the Group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update with this chapter. My apologies, I hope you enjoy it!

Hwiyoung didn’t sleep last night. Granted, he didn’t have much time to. He came home extremely late, astonished that his parents hadn’t noticed his absence. The blankets were bundled up in such a way, they must have assumed he was asleep. Though, even after arriving home with a few hours until he would have to get ready for school, Hwiyoung couldn’t sleep. 

 

It wasn’t like he wasn’t trying. He laid with his eyes closed and tried counting sheep in his head. He tried singing lullabies to himself and he tried flipping onto his other side again, and again, and again. He tried drinking water and bundling up in blankets, but nothing could help him fall asleep. 

 

He blamed Taeyang.

 

Taeyang and his stupid smile. Taeyang and his stupid laugh. Taeyang and his stupid jokes. Stupid Taeyang. 

 

Hwiyoung couldn’t sleep because of him. It was his fault. He would tell him off except there was no need for Taeyang to know he thought about him this much. 

 

At least there was one good side to Taeyang’s invasion of Hwiyoung’s head: he was ready for school earlier than usual. He had his backpack packed full of his work and snacks so he could avoid leaving the classroom without Chanhee by his side. He even had a tank top under his uniform to make him feel just a little more covered up. He was out the door as soon as he had finished breakfast to go to school early with Chanhee.

 

Hwiyoung didn’t talk much on the bus ride but Chanhee probably didn’t notice over his own talking. He just had everything in the world to talk about. He talked about yesterday, playing in the water and trading stories with the group. He talked about school today and how unprepared he was for a test he hadn’t learned the content for. He talked about the color fading from his hair and how his roots were showing again. Hwiyoung let him talk. It wasn’t like he was up for much talking today anyways. So he just nodded and commented on Chanhee’s stories as he told them. ‘Keep the boy entertained’ was his goal.

 

By lunch time, however, it seemed that Chanhee had run out of things to talk about. When a silence fell he started a conversation about his disgust with whatever was on their lunch trays today. He tried again when another silence fell with a joke about his class today. He was trying hard.

 

“Why aren’t you talking?” Chanhee asked eventually after filling more silences than he could count. The boy placed his chopsticks on the tray and focused all of his attention on Hwiyoung.

 

“I don’t know, I just can’t really think of much to say. Tired I guess.” Chanhee hummed sarcastically. “What, you don’t believe me? You dropped me off after midnight!”

 

“Are you mad? Or are you depressed or ashamed or are you-”

 

“Wait, wait, wait! Mad about what? Sad about what?” Chanhee gave him a dumbfounded look before picking his chopsticks up again and picking at his food with them. He avoided Hwiyoung’s eyes for a few seconds before returning his chopsticks to the plate. 

 

“The fire. Taeyang told everyone. He wouldn’t even let you accept his apology.” Hwiyoung waved him off, and reached to Chanhee’s tray to grab his strawberry milk. Hwiyoung had already drunk all of his. He sipped at his friends drink before returning it to its spot on Chanhee’s tray.

 

“I accepted his apology anyways. We’re good. I’m fine.” He left it at that. Chanhee didn’t start eating again, instead he just continued to look at Hwiyoung. Was he waiting for him to say something else? Was he waiting for him to add on to his explanation? “Okay, what is it?” he asked after a long silence of Chanhee’s staring. Chanhee jumped at the question.

 

“You just accept his apology like that? How could you do that, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you at all! You held a grudge against me for half a year because I stole your clothes without asking! You are petty and there is no way you just forgave the boy after he made you that uncomfortable. He also publicly embarrassed you in front of all our friends so tell me the truth because you two are not fine, it’s just not possible.”

 

“I’m telling you the truth!” Hwiyoung argued. “We really are fine! He said he was sorry unlike a certain someone who stole my clothes, so I forgave him. No grudges held.” Chanhee opened his mouth, clearly ready to argue again but Hwiyoung cut him off. “And also, how could I possibly hold a grudge because- and don’t even argue with me on this one, I was enjoying everything before what happened and I didn’t exactly tell him no before that so how can I hold a grudge?”

 

“Because he took it too far and didn’t stop when you told him to but fine, fine,” Chanhee said with a shake of his head as he returned to eating his food. He shoved the noodles in his mouth, chopsticks still hanging out from between his lips, as he reached over to Hwiyoung’s side of the table for napkins. 

 

“Have you ever seen the movie The Day After Tomorrow?” Hwiyoung asked suddenly. He didn’t know where he was going with this. Why had he asked that? Chanhee shook his head as he finished chewing his food.

 

“Never heard of it, why?” Chanhee seemed to think to himself for a second before nodding his head and finishing what was left of his food. “Are you gonna eat yours?” he asked after eyeing Hwiyoung’s full tray of food. He pushed the tray towards his friend and watched as Chanhee dived in. Funny how earlier he was complaining about the food.

 

He didn’t know why the movie had suddenly popped into his head. Was it because Chanhee had brought up the boy he, for some reason, couldn’t get out of his head? Was it because that moment clung to the back of his head like overgrown vines? He wasn’t sure. Why had Taeyang compared himself to the love interest of a movie he had never heard of? He could have just said he didn’t want him to get cold, but instead he made a dumb movie reference that he couldn’t shake from his mind. Why did he have to compare himself to a love interest? Love interest of what? Himself? But if Taeyang wanted to be the love interest didn’t that mean that they were-

 

Hwiyoung started coughing as his thoughts drifted too far. Chanhee stopped eating and reached across the table to pat his back like a baby. He asked him if he was okay and he tried to answer, only to start coughing again.

 

How dare Taeyang compare them to the couple of this dumb movie! What was he trying to say? Taeyang didn’t know anything. He wasn’t in love with anybody. He didn’t like anybody. And he most certainly did not like Taeyang. Taeyang was just making a stupid reference it meant nothing. 

 

“Chanhee I have a question,” Hwiyoung stated, ignoring his own thoughts. Chanhee gestured for him to speak. “What does it mean… wait no. I don’t know how to say this without sounding weird.”

 

“Just spit it out as vaguely as you can. I’ll work with whatever comes out of that hole of yours.”

 

“How do you know if you like somebody?” Chanhee slammed his chopsticks on his tray and pushed the tray aside as if the food meant nothing anymore. 

 

“It’s that crush you were talking about right? You said you had a crush on somebody. Tell me everything!” Hwiyoung told him to answer his question first. He sat back with his arms crossed and his eyes drifting around the edges of the table. “Ugh, fine. I mean I’ve never really been helplessly in love like you before but I think it means you like somebody when you think of them and it makes you happy. Like in cheesy movies when the people are always happy around the one they love. They always want to see or talk to that person and-”

 

“But I’m happy talking with you too. I am happy when I’m by your side. But you’re my best friend not my… uh, person of interest. What’s the difference?” 

 

“Maybe it’s not just when you’re happy then. Maybe it’s like... everything. I mean just thinking of me you probably roll your eyes because I’m an idiot. Here, try this. Think of Ta- your person of interest.”

 

Okay, Hwiyoung thought. Not that hard. Just think of Taeyang. Was he supposed to picture him in his mind? His smile was the first thing he could picture. His teeth poking out from behind his lips and his cheeks puffing out. His eyes sparkle in Hwiyoung’s image and his hair is blowing in the wind like at the beach. He looks really- no. No. Taeyang doesn’t look cute. Not to Hwiyoung. And okay, so what? Thinking a person is beautiful does not mean he likes them in that way. A person’s appearance doesn’t determine that, so Taeyang being cute had nothing to do with Hwiyoung’s issue. 

 

What else about Taeyang could he think about? The first thing that came to mind was the day they met. The day Taeyang called him pretty and embarrassed himself. There was also the day at the club. The day that Taeyang danced with him and made him enjoy it. There was the time Taeyang gave him his phone number to help him out and yesterday when they were playing in the water together. 

 

“You’re smiling.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re smiling. I told you to think of Taeyang and now you’re smiling. That’s what it means to like someone.” It was like a wall just smashed to pieces inside Hwiyoung’s head.

 

“Wait a second! How the hell did you-”

 

“Oh, please. Who else would it be? The only people you ever hang out with are the eight of us. Who else could it really be? What, are you helplessly in love with Youngbin or have you fallen for the majestic Sanghyuk? Save your theatrics I knew it was Taeyang from the very beginning.”

 

He liked Taeyang? He liked Taeyang? 

 

“But, but how- how did you-”

 

“I didn’t know you were gay though. Well, I mean it’s not like you didn’t make it obvious. But now that I think of it, you’ve never really liked anybody. There was no way I could have known. I just kind of always assumed you would marry some rich, fancy girl your father would set you up with after high school. But I guess Tae is better than some stuck up pretty face with nothing else going for her but a family name. Just make sure you treat him right because even though he’s annoying he is a sweet person. But if he ever hurts you I swear I’m gonna-”

 

“Wait, Chanhee! I just found out I’m gay could you give me a second to wrap my head around that before throwing shit on top of that?” Chanhee folded his hands in front of him and watched as Hwiyoung had a mini panic inside his head.

 

He was gay? He admitted that Chanhee was right, it wasn’t really a surprise. The first clue could have been how okay he was when Taeyang flirted with him. The second clue could have been the skin ship with other guys. Maybe the third clue was the club with Taeyang. Was the fourth clue how dramatic he was with that issue? Now that he really thought about it, every clue had to do with Taeyang. Was it that obvious? 

 

“Does it really matter?” Chanhee asked from across the table. “Your sexuality doesn’t change anything about you. You were gay before and you’re gay now, the only difference is that you know it. I knew it for a while I just waited for you to catch on. And, really, it took you a damn long time to catch on.” Hwiyoung nodded along with what Chanhee said with his mind half listening and half in thought.

 

He was gay. And he liked Taeyang. When Taeyang compared himself to the love interest, was he hinting that maybe he liked him too? Did Taeyang already like him? No, he was getting ahead of himself. Taeyang would never like him in that way, he was just hoping too much. He was so confused. Taeyang’s reference, the dancing, his sexuality, the apology, the flirting. Everything confused him so much. He felt like his mind would explode any second now from being too overwhelmed. 

 

“Soo…. you like Tae?” 

 

“I, uhm. I… I guess?”

 

“Great, now all you have to do is ask him to be your gay boyfriend.”

 

“Wait!” Hwiyoung said panicked. “We don’t even know if he likes boys!” Chanhee looked unimpressed.

 

“Hwi, your first impression of Tae was when he came up to you and called you pretty. His friends then proceeded to mention his flirting habits with guys. Trust me, he’s gay.” Chanhee stood up and picked his tray up from the table. Hwiyoung followed him as they went to drop off their empty trays. 

 

“But Tae said he already liked someone. Remember? ‘My heart has been completely and utterly captured. Someone has finally tamed me!’” Hwiyoung reacted dramatically. He held his hand on his heart and spoke with an overdramatically high pitched voice. Chanhee dropped his tray off on the counter and turned to Hwiyoung with the most disappointed look on his face.

 

“How the hell are you top of the class? You’re so goddamn stupid.” Hwiyoung tilted his head and raised his eyebrow at his friend. “Seriously, Hwi? I can’t believe you.”

 

“Wait, why am I so stupid?” Hwiyoung asked running after his orange haired friend who had started walking without him. Chanhee’s hair bounced around and he shook his head. 

 

“If you are too dumb to know for yourself, then I’m not telling you. It’s not even that hard to figure out.”

 

♦️

 

One knock. Hwiyoung rolled over and pulled the blankets over his head. Another knock. He groaned and pulled the pillow over his head. Several loud knocks. Hwiyoung sat up in bed and pushed the pillow onto the floor. Too dark to see.

 

“What the fuck,” he mumbled as he rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes. Why was Chanhee knocking on his window at 2:00 in the morning? Hwiyoung groaned again before pushing himself out of bed. He walked over to his window dragging his feet and unhinged it before pushing it open.

 

“Listen Chanhee, I’m fucking tired so what the hell do you- Tae?”

 

The blonde boy standing on the ladder outside of his window laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. Taeyang’s eyes drifted downward a little before rising again to meet his. Another nervous laughter. What was he-

 

“Shit!” Hwiyoung whisper screamed as he fell back into his room. He stumbled onto the floor and felt around for a shirt. He heard Taeyang laughing from the window as he pulled a grey hoodie over his head. “I, uhm. I thought you were Chanhee. Sorry… about that,” he coughed awkwardly. “Come in.”

 

Taeyang nodded with a smile and climbed into his window. “So why does Chanhee get to see you shirtless but I don’t?” He felt the rush of heat traveling up to his cheeks before he could even register what the older boy said. Where his eyes as wide as they felt right now? “I’m kidding!” Taeyang stated with his hands up in the air. Taeyang giggled and rubbed his arm. “Oh yeah,” he said as pulled the black jacket off of his shoulders. Hwiyoung’s jacket. Taeyang placed the jacket on Hwiyoung’s desk chair and smiled at him. The blonde was wearing a long sleeved black shirt underneath that looked like it was made of thin material. Wouldn’t he be cold?

 

“Thanks,” Hwiyoung responded with a smile. “But, did you just come here to drop off my sweater? Cause if so, you didn’t have to go out of you way to do that.” 

 

“Oh no,” Taeyang said sitting on the edge of Hwiyoung’s bed. Hwiyoung sat next to him. The mattress shifted under the weight of both of them and Hwiyoung found himself leaning slightly towards the other boy. He supposed he didn’t have to sit as close as he did, but it was too late to move. “I’m sorry for waking you up but I had an idea for the second stage.” Hwiyoung nodded to let him know he was listening. “Have you ever seen a sunrise? Like yeah, maybe you’ve noticed the sky turn brighter in the morning, but have you ever watched a sunrise the way you watch a sunset? Because I was thinking, everybody is always talking about how beautiful sunsets are and how magical they are but I’ve never heard anybody talk about a sunrise that way. I want to see a sunrise and see how beautiful it is. Because why do only sunsets get to be special?”

 

“So, you want to see a sunrise as your stage?” Taeyang nodded like an excited child. He had the goofiest smile on his face. He seemed so excited about something as simple as a sunrise. Hwiyoung suddenly had the biggest urge to watch a sunrise. “You didn’t call Inseong, though? I feel like he’s in charge of this whole thing.” 

 

“Well…” Taeyang folded his hands in his lap. The toes of his shoes tapped on the floor gently. “Inseong didn’t answer my call. And neither did Youngbin or Seokwoo. I mean, they’re probably sleeping. I was going to call you, but I, uhm, I realized that I don’t exactly have... because you haven’t, uhm, you know what it doesn’t matter,” Taeyang concluded standing up. “I just figured you might be awake.”

 

“No, no,” Hwiyoung said standing up to meet Taeyang’s eyes. “Something is clearly bothering you, what is it?” Taeyang’s eyes were focused on the ground by his shoes and the toes of his shoes crossed each other. Why was he not talking? Was he sad, or maybe upset? Was it something Hwiyoung did? It had to be something he did. No, he couldn’t have Taeyang upset with him. He didn’t know why, but his heart physically hurt at the thought of Taeyang being upset with him. 

 

Before he knew what he was doing, Hwiyoung stepped forward, closer to Taeyang. He lifted his hand up to Taeyang’s head. Taeyang seemed to freeze up the second Hwiyoung’s hand lifted up. Was he overstepping his bounds? Was he going too far? It was too late to just lower his hand. Too late, too late, he had no choice but to do what he started. He moved his hand to the hair that had fallen in front of Taeyang’s eyes and brushed it to the side. He did so as delicately as he could, careful not to actually touch the boy’s skin. He just wanted to see Taeyang’s eyes. 

 

“What is it?” Hwiyoung asked in a gentle voice. He watched as Taeyang licked his lips and pressed them together. Hwiyoung dropped his hand and took a step back. “I mean, I uh, I didn’t, I just, you, I, uh- uh you looked sad, or upset and I- shit I’m sorry I didn't- fuck I’m sorry you look so uncomfortable now I’m sorry.”

 

“No, it’s okay. I, uh, I mean I’m not- uhm I’m not uncomfortable, I just, I, fuck I just didn’t expect that.” The two boys were left in a more than uncomfortable silence. Hwiyoung raised his head from where it had fallen to see Taeyang fanning his face with his hand. Even with the lights off it wasn’t hard to see how red Taeyang’s face was. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Hwiyoung apologized again. “Uhm, are you alright?” Taeyang nodded. Hwiyoung didn’t believe him. He waited until the red faced boy calmed down to continue talking. “But really, what’s wrong?”

 

“Well,” Taeyang started, “after I gave you my number. You never called or texted me, not that I expected you to or anything! I just thought, I don’t know, but-”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hwiyoung said cutting him off before he could ramble any more. “I didn’t know what to say. It’s not that I didn’t want to, I just couldn’t think of anything to say. I- I still have your number though.” Taeyang nodded. It wasn’t a sad nod like he was just alright with the given answer, but it was a content nod. Taeyang looked relieved.

 

“Anyways,” Taeyang said pressing his hands together. “Sorry, again. I managed to make this night really awkward. Aside from that, I was thinking, we should go get everybody from their homes. We could go to the store and get soda and snacks and we could watch the sunrise from the top of my apartment complex. The roof gives a great view of the sky.”

 

“Yeah, that sounds good. Just, uhm, let me get changed?” Taeyang shook his head. 

 

“Oh no. Not happening. This isn’t just any sunrise, it’s a special sunrise. For this stage of life, we are all going to eat snacks on the roof in our pajamas with pillows and blankets. If you haven’t already noticed,” Taeyang said gesturing to his pants which were red and black checker patterned, “I am dressed perfectly for the occasion.”

 

“Okay,” Hwiyoung agreed, “but can I at least put a shirt on? I have nothing under this hoodie.”

 

Taeyang agreed and waited for Hwiyoung to change outside by the bottom of the ladder. Hwiyoung made sure to grab some extra money for snacks even though Taeyang had told him he brought money. Once he was outside with Taeyang, the two boys carried the ladder back over to the neighbor’s. 

 

“So, who should we get first?” Taeyang asked once they started walking. “I was thinking Inseong because he keeps the camera in his room. But doesn’t Chanhee live near here? Should we get him first?”

 

“No, no, I can just call him!” Hwiyoung said quickly. “His parents don’t really like people over at their house without permission. I can just tell him to meet up at the college.” Taeyang seemed a little confused, but agreed easily.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want Taeyang to see Chanhee’s house, but he knew Chanhee wouldn’t want Taeyang to see his house. Chanhee didn’t like other people seeing where he lived, he never had. His friend would probably be much more thankful if he just called. 

 

“Hwi, it’s almost 2:30 in the morning. What the fuck do you want?”

 

“Well, aren’t you a sunshine,” Hwiyoung responded to his more than overjoyed friend through the phone. “Listen, Tae is starting the second stage of life. Can you meet us by the college?”

 

“Tell Tae to go fuck himself, I was sleeping. Or better yet, you go fuck him.”

 

“Chanhee!” He was really glad he didn’t put the conversation on speaker phone. “Get your ass out of bed.”

 

“You have no room to talk. Do you know how hard it is waking you up in the morning? Telling me to… bed… fucking prick.” 

 

“Don’t change. Come in your pajamas.”

 

“You asked me to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, and I did. Now you want me to walk all the way to the college by myself in my pajamas? What the fuck Hwi?’”

 

“Tae and I could always come pick you up at your house…”

 

“I expect strawberry milk when I get there.”

 

And that was the end of the conversation. Hwiyoung pocketed his phone and the two boys started on their way to the college. They both agreed on going to pick Inseong up first, considering he had the camera. Taeyang explained that Inseong, Youngbin, and Seokwoo all lived in separate dorms, but Inseong and Youngbin were right across the hall from each other. They could climb in through Inseong’s window and use a spare key they had all copied to get into Youngbin’s dorm room from there.

 

“How high is Inseong’s dorm from the ground?” Hwiyoung asked. 

 

“It’s a few stories up. Four floors, maybe. But his dorm room is kind of on the edge of the building and there is an old rope attached to the side of his window. I used it to climb into his dorm a lot a few years ago.” Hwiyoung asked him why he had to climb in through the windows. It made perfect sense to just use the doors, right? “I was still 17 when Inseong was in his first year of college. So there were a few times when I needed another place to stay. I didn’t have a home of my own yet and so Inseong and I made this rope so I could climb into his dorm and stay there if I ever needed to. I don’t think he has the same roommate anymore, though. So they might be a little spooked.”

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They were beginning to near the college and throughout the entire walk, Hwiyoung couldn’t stop glancing at Taeyang. He told himself multiple times to stop looking over because Taeyang would notice, but he couldn’t help himself. All the lights of the city were flashing in colors behind him. There were sparkly signs lit up and the blur of red taillights of cars and busses flying past him. The golden glow of the street lamps above him made it seem as if his blonde hair, flying around in the breeze, was glowing. The light reflected off of his golden skin and he looked like he was glowing. He had the faintest smile on his lips while he talked and his eyes sparkled with the reflections from the light. He looked absolutely stunning. 

 

“What?” Taeyang stopped walking and turned to Hwiyoung with a silly smile and a laugh.

 

“What?” Hwiyoung asked back sounding more dumbfounded then he had expected. 

 

“You keep looking over at me.” Dammit, Hwiyoung thought. He noticed. He could just say that he was looking at the city behind him, but would Taeyang believe that knowing he walked by this area every day? He could just say Taeyang had something on his face, that was believable, right?

 

“You just look really pretty,” Hwiyoung mumbled before he continued walking. That was… not what he had expected himself to say. He heard a small squeak from the boy behind him and then Taeyang’s footsteps as the boy ran to catch up with him. Taeyang didn’t say anything more on the subject and Hwiyoung didn’t ask why. He was glad, in a way, because he clearly had lost all of his self control. 

 

He couldn’t believe himself. Not only did he brush Taeyang’s hair he way he did, but he called him pretty in the same hour. What was wrong with him? 

 

When they finally made it to Inseong’s dorm, Taeyang walked around the corner of the building to pull out a hidden rope. It was hidden in between two buildings tangled in vines and branches. It looked old and unused. The rope had several knots tied every three feet apart or so.

 

“You can climb ropes right? The knots make it easy. Just use the knots to put your feet on and to pull you up. The upside it that we won’t have to climb down this way.” Taeyang reached up and started climbing up the rope. Hwiyoung made sure to keep his eyes focused on how Taeyang climbed rather than how his butt looked from this view. He made it look easy enough. Hwiyoung followed after him and placed his hands around the first knot. With the help of the knots to place his feet on, it wasn’t actually that hard. He watched as Taeyang pushed the window open from the outside and pulled himself inside. Hwiyoung followed his lead quietly. Once they were inside, Taeyang leaned out the window to pull the rope back around the corner of the building. He gently shut the window after he was done.

 

Inseong’s dorm was not what he was expecting. Hwiyoung expected the room to be covered in old posters with dirty laundry and books littering the floor. Inseong’s room was quite the opposite. The hardwood floor was clean, the only thing on it being his shoes and a stray sweater. Inseong’s desk was neat with his books in stacks, organized by size and color. He had pictures on his walls, most likely of himself and his family; it was too hard to tell with the only light coming from the moon outside.

 

Taeyang pushed past Hwiyoung where he stood admiring the room to get to the camera sitting in Inseong’s camera bag on his desk. He turned it on and spun it around to face the two of them before pressing the record button. Hwiyoung aimed a questioning look his way before Taeyang’s arm found its way around Hwiyoung’s shoulder, tugging him into the frame. He bit his lip and made sure not to show how shocked or embarrassed he was on camera where Taeyang could look back and see it.

 

“Stage two: Seeing a sunrise,” Taeyang whispered. “Hwi and I are here to get Inseong.” Taeyang turned the handheld camera to point over to Inseong’s bed. It was too dark to see until Taeyang pointed his phone flashlight at the occupied bed. “Here,” Taeyang whispered softly, pushing the camera and his phone into Hwiyoung’s hands. He stumbled for a second, worried he would drop either of the expensive items.

 

“Wait, what am I supposed to-” Taeyang didn’t wait for Hwiyoung to finish before he walked over to Inseong’s bed. Hwiyoung made sure to keep both the camera and the flashlight steady as the blonde boy crept up on the sleeping fox. 

 

With one swift tug, Taeyang grabbed the ends of Inseong’s blankets and threw them to the floor. Hwiyoung would have been able to keep the camera straight if it had not been for his uncontrollable laughter when Inseong popped out of his bed in nothing but his boxers and tackled Taeyang to the floor. He had the younger boy pinned to the floor within seconds of being exposed. Taeyang’s arms were pinned above his head and his torso was held down by Inseong’s legs. Hwiyoung couldn’t help himself, he started laughing under his breath hysterically. He tried to hold the camera steady as he fell to his knees laughing.

 

“Tae? Hwi? What the hell?” Inseong asked in a raspy morning voice. He pushed himself into a sitting position on Taeyang’s lap and rolled off of the boy. Inseong’s roommate seemed to be awake now, sitting up in bed and watching the scene unfold. 

 

“Jeez, Inseong. You should be used to me sneaking in like this by now,” Taeyang said as he pushed himself off of the floor.

 

“You haven’t done that in years, Tae,” Inseong said as reached to cover himself with the blankets. He struggled to find a shirt and pants in the process. Inseong had bed head, his hair sticking up in every direction, and he didn’t even look fully awake yet. “What are the two of you doing in here?”

 

“Stage two of life,” Taeyang said as he ripped the flannel shirt Inseong had picked up out of his hands. 

 

“Tae- I need that. Come on I’m practically naked here. Gimme, gimme!” Inseong begged as he reached out for the shirt. Taeyang just tsked at him. The shirt ended up on the floor by the discarded sweater. 

 

“Tae’s rules,” Hwiyoung said as he gained his breath back. “Pajamas only.” Taeyang nodded and pulled a pair of polka dotted pajamas pants out of Inseong’s dresser. He grabbed a white, long sleeved shirt as well and threw it at the boy. 

 

“This is see-through,” Inseong said throwing the shirt back at Taeyang. Taeyang just threw it back. 

 

“Then Jaeyoon should appreciate it. Now hurry up, and give me the key to Youngbin’s dorm. We have places to be.” Once Taeyang had the key, he grabbed Hwiyoung’s wrist, the one holding his phone, and dragged him into Youngbin’s room. Hwiyoung was in charge of holding the camera yet again as Taeyang made his way over to the sleeping boy. Hwiyoung twisted his tongue in his mouth as he focused the camera on Taeyang. He walked forward as steadily as he could without shaking the image too much. He would have stood father back if it hadn’t been for the lack of light Taeyang’s phone provided from a distance. 

 

Instead of ripping the blankets off of Youngbin like he had done with Inseong, Taeyang lifted his leg up to sit on top of the boy. He made himself comfortable and started bouncing up and down. Hwiyoung bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing as Youngbin let out a string of mangled groans and curses.

 

“What the- fuck! Shit! Who the fu- Tae? Fuck off Tae!” Youngbin gave one hard shove to the hyper boy and Taeyang fell off of the bed and onto the ground with a loud thud. “Fucking hell, Tae. What are you, five? And could you fall a little quieter next time? There are people trying to sleep underneath us.”

 

“Oh yeah, sorry, let me just float gracefully to the ground next time you throw me across the room. Sorry, dad!” Taeyang mocked as he pushed himself to a standing position. Hwiyoung aimed the camera and the flashlight at Youngbin and the older man groaned and blocked his eyes from the light. Hwiyoung mumbled a quiet sorry as Taeyang took the camera from him.

 

“Hwi? Really? I expected this from this sad excuse for an adult but you? Wow, you weak son of a bitch. Tae has you wrapped around his pinky finger,” Youngbin mumbled as he rubbed his eyes and rolled his shoulders back. A loud cracking sound broke the silence of the room and Taeyang shuddered. Youngbin flung his legs over the side of the bed and threw the blankets to the side, already dressed in matching striped pants and a shirt. “Alright. What do you two want?”

 

“Make that three,” Inseong said as he walked into the room with his camera bag slung around his chest. “I don’t know what this second stage is but just to confirm, it’s not illegal or degrading is it?” Taeyang shook his head.

 

“So, Binnie, time to wake up. Pajamas only for this adventure. Looks like you’re ready to go. Come on,” Taeyang said as he walked out of the room, closing the camera and handing it to Inseong on his way out the door. Hwiyoung followed the blonde boy like a lost puppy and looked back to see Inseong pulling Youngbin up by the arm. 

 

The older man’s eyes seemed to drift between open and closed with a dazed look. Inseong ended up dragging him out of the room by his wrist and they made their way down the hallways quietly, careful not to wake anybody else up. 

 

Youngbin was still half asleep by the time they got outside, both of his arms hanging over Inseong’s shoulders. He was almost letting Inseong carry him at this point. 

 

“Who’s next, Seokwoo?” Inseong asked as they headed to the next dorm building. They had used the same trick to enter his dorm as they had with Youngbin’s with the spare key which, Hwiyoung found out, they were not supposed to have. 

 

“Seokwoo, wake up,” Taeyang said without any effort to sneak in. He flipped the lights on and both Seokwoo and his roommate sat up and rubbed their eyes. Inseong trailed behind Taeyang with the camera focused on sleeping beauty. 

 

“Bitch, have you ever heard of the word sleep? Because you're interrupting mine,” Seokwoo snapped. Taeyang made his way over to Seokwoo’s bed and grabbed his arm, pulling him off of the bed and onto the floor. “You spawn of the devil!” Seokwoo whisper screamed as he kicked his leg at Taeyang and pushed him to the ground. Taeyang screamed and grabbed his leg before covering his mouth and laughing. 

 

“What was that for?” Taeyang asked jokingly as he pushed himself up off the floor for the third time. 

 

“You just dragged me out of my bed against my will,” Seokwoo argued. “Don’t tell me you didn’t deserve worse.” The black haired boy pushed himself into a standing position with a weary struggle and groaned as he reached for his wardrobe. Right now, Seokwoo was dressed in dark blue pajamas with matching pants and a shirt that looked like silk.

 

“No, nope. No can do,” Taeyang said pushing him away from his own clothes. “I know you’re one of those people that thinks going to the convenience store in pajamas is unacceptable but you’re going to have to suck it up for a single day. No makeup, no real clothes. Brush your hair and your teeth if you want.” Seokwoo gave Taeyang the most disgusted look of disbelief he could muster up as he made his way over to the small bathroom. 

 

Seokwoo ended up being able to walk fine, unlike Youngbin who Inseong had left leaning against the wall half asleep. Inseong continued to drag him along after Seokwoo was ready to leave the dorm, an argument that took a lot of pushing from Taeyang. 

 

Chanhee was waiting for the group by the entrance to the college campus when they got back outside. He was dressed in sweatpants and a black sweater, his usual sleep attire, as he leaned against one of the gates near the entrance. He looked tired, which was to be expected.

 

“Tae, what are you doing? Youngbin and Seokwoo look half dead. And Hwi, where the fuck is my strawberry milk?” 

 

“It’s the second stage of life! Live a little. You can all sleep plenty tomorrow night. You’ll never experience anything if you spend your whole life asleep. That’s no fun,” Taeyang lectured Chanhee. “And you will get your strawberry milk, don’t worry. Inseong and Youngbin are going to the store while the rest of us get Jaeyoon, Juho, and Sanghyuk. Inseong- before you argue because I saw that look in your eyes, think about how Juho will feel seeing you inside his house. I know for a fact that Jaeyoon sleeps naked so I’m saving you from a talk with his guardian. You’re welcome.”

 

It took a while to walk to the house Sanghyuk lived in, his being farthest from Taeyang’s home. Somewhere along the way, Hwiyoung had ended up giving a piggyback ride to Chanhee. The boy wasn’t that heavy and Hwiyoung was convinced most of his weight came from his gigantic head. 

 

“Oh yeah,” Taeyang said turning to Hwiyoung and Chanhee once they reached Sanghyuk’s house. “I forgot to mention, Sanghyuk lives with his parents. It’s a convenience thing. So, like, I know I’ve been loud at the other’s places but we actually have to be quiet this time.”

 

It didn’t take long for Taeyang to fuck that up. Sanghyuk’s room was on the first floor so getting in through the window wasn’t hard. It should have been easy to just climb in through the window and wake up Sanghyuk, but of course, Taeyang couldn’t manage that. With the camera rolling in Seokwoo’s hands, Taeyang fell through the window and knocked over a table in Sanghyuk’s room. The lamp that was on top fell with it and everybody heard the bulb inside it smash to pieces. 

 

“What the hell… Tae? What the fuck are you doing in my house?” Hwiyoung didn’t bother climbing into the boy’s room. He didn’t want to step on any broken glass. But he could see Sanghyuk from where he stood and he could see how tired the boy looked. His hair, no longer resembling noodles as of yesterday, stuck up in every direction and stuck to the sides of his face. There was a loose tank top hanging off of his shoulders and Taeyang made sure to throw a sweater at him before pulling him out of bed. Unlike the bunch of them, Sanghyuk had no problem waking up and putting pants on. They were on their way to Jaeyoon and Juho’s in five minutes, tops. 

 

Taeyang and Sanghyuk led the group, the two of them being the only ones with energy. Seokwoo tagged along beside Hwiyoung who was still carrying Chanhee on his back. 

 

“Do I have to keep carrying you?” he asked his lazy friend. He felt Chanhee’s chin sink further into the crook of his neck.

 

“Sorry, I’m low on battery. The cure: strawberry milk.” Hwiyoung rolled his eyes and continued walking. He pulled Chanhee up higher on his back to get a better grip of his legs once they reached the apartment complex. Chanhee started becoming increasingly hard to carry with each step he climbed. 

 

“Chanhee, please. I’m weak.” Chanhee shook his head and made sure Hwiyoung knew by digging his chin into his shoulder. 

 

“Nope. Low battery. Strawberry milk or death.”

 

Hwiyoung was gasping for breath by the time they reached the correct apartment, which happened to be near the top of the stairs. Instead of barging in, like he had at everybody else’s homes, Taeyang knocked on the door. He explained that he didn’t have a key and the windows were too high. When he didn’t get an answer, he knocked again. After five more minutes, he knocked again, louder. After that he just started banging on the door. A very tired and angry looking Juho opened the door. 

 

“I don’t care who you are,” Juho mumbled with his eyes closed in a state between completely asleep and daydreaming, “but I will throw you down every single one of these stairs if you knock again.”

 

“Good to see you too…” Taeyang mumbled. Juho didn’t look like an early riser, but then again, who was at 3:30 in the morning? Juho’s red hair was in tangled mess on his head, half of it matted down and the other half sticking up in every direction with the help of static. He was wearing a long, white t-shirt with black sweatpants and no shoes. “Woah, you’re actually really scary looking. Here,” Taeyang said as he reached over to Juho and started flattening his hair. It didn’t help at all. The older boy looked even more like a ball of fluff than he had before. 

 

“Taeyang? What the hell man? I know we’re friends now and stuff but really? Do you always wake people up this early? Some of us have to work today.” Taeyang rolled his eyes and walked past Juho into the house. 

 

“Yeah, so what? Jaeyoon and I have dance classes today. Sanghyuk has his singing lessons. Inseong, Seokwoo, and Youngbin have college. Hwiyoung and Chanhee still have school today. Suck it up.” Juho groaned and told everybody to wait outside while he got Jaeyoon. The second Juho turned to get his roommate, however, there was a scream and a loud thud that sounded like the two boys falling to the floor. 

 

“Taeyang, I swear to god,” Juho mumbled as he walked back into the house. The red haired boy returned ten minutes later with a fully dressed Jaeyoon, decked out in frog printed pants and a sweater. Taeyang trailed behind the two and closed the door behind him.

 

“Don’t worry,” Taeyang said once he realized Jaeyoon’s searching eyes. “Your boyfriend just went to the store with Youngbin. They’ll meet us there.”

 

“He’s not my-” Taeyang closed his hand as a sign for Jaeyoon to stop talking and, surprisingly, he obeyed. “Boyfriend…” Jaeyoon finished under his breath after Taeyang started his way down the stairs with Sanghyuk. Hwiyoung let Chanhee onto the ground only for the boy to hop back on his back after he stretched his arms and back. And so he started the long, painful journey down the stairs with Seokwoo, Juho, and Jaeyoon in front of them. 

 

The group of them must have looked like hoodlums walking through the streets in the middle of the night wearing nothing but their pajamas. After a while Chanhee had stopped holding on to Hwiyoung’s shoulders and his arms hung limply around his neck. 

 

When they finally arrived at Taeyang’s apartment complex, Hwiyoung was surprised. The place looked small but cute. The walls were painted a light pink color and each balcony had laundry hanging on clotheslines or over the railings. There were small potted plants sitting outside of many of the doors and vines climbed the lower walls of the building. The stairs were covered in a thin layer of dirt and pebbles and some of the pieces of the railings were missing, but it looked homey nonetheless.

 

Inseong and Youngbin waved their hands wildly from the roof of the highest apartment and Chanhee launched himself off of Hwiyoung’s back to race up the steps. Jaeyoon followed after Chanhee in a sprint and Juho sighed before following his more-or-less adopted son. Seokwoo waved at the boys before making his way up the steps with Sanghyuk in tow. 

 

“So, this is where you live?” Hwiyoung asked Taeyang as they made their way towards the others, step by step. Taeyang smiled before rubbing the back of his neck again.

 

“Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s not the prettiest place and it’s kind of small, and sometimes it-”

 

“It’s nice,” Hwiyoung interrupted. “You don’t have to make it sound bad, I like it.” Taeyang’s mouth hung open slightly and his eyes were wide. 

 

“But, but you live in a big house. Your house is fancy and has two stories. You have expensive things and live an expensive life. How can you say you like my home when it’s dirty and small?” Hwiyoung laughed and patted Taeyang’s shoulder. 

 

“Just because I live in a big house doesn’t mean I like it. This place looks nice and homey. I’m being honest. I like your place.” Taeyang nodded with a toothy smile. They were about a third of the way up the stairs when Hwiyoung lost all control of his filter again. “Do you think I could come over some time?” Both boys stopped walking at the same time and Hwiyoung turned to look at Taeyang who was a step below him. “I- I mean, if it’s alright with you. Because, I uhm, I know you might not-”

 

“Of course you can come over,” Taeyang said in the middle of his rambling. He was thankful because he wasn’t sure how long he would have gone on like the embarrassed mess he currently was. “You can all come over, I’ll invite everyone. We can all have a big party or something.” That was… not what he meant. Taeyang smiled and continued walking up the stairs. He was completely oblivious. Sure, though, Hwiyoung thought. It would have been even more embarrassing if he knew how badly he wanted to come over by himself. Hwiyoung licked his lips, nodded to himself, and followed Taeyang up the rest of the steps. 

 

When he got to the roof, he was even more amazed. The roof was completely decked out for a rooftop slumber party. There were white Christmas lights lining the half walls around the roof and two pyung sang tables (low sitting tables that can be used for multiple purposes) towards one side. There were potted plants and flowers scattered around the area and a purple and blue lit up sign that read ‘Korean Cuisine’ in English in the corner. Fluffy looking blankets were laid out across both of the pyung sangs and across the ground. Some of the blankets were bunched up in balls and others were set out like sleeping bags with piles of pillows laid against the pyung sangs and on top of them. Chanhee looked comfortable leaning against the edge of one of the pyung sangs bundled in blankets drinking strawberry milk with a half eaten chocolate bar in his other hand. Youngbin was handing out snacks to Seokwoo and Juho from paper bags while Seokwoo panned the camera around the scene. It looked like they stocked up on everything from cakes and cookies to bags of different flavored chips. Sanghyuk was attempting to open a bottle soda but failed after the soda overflowed onto his pants and arms because he shook the bottle too much. Everybody screamed and laughed as he held the bottle away from him and tried to get the fizz and bubbles to calm down by yelling at it. Inseong and Jaeyoon were laughing and smiling bundled up under one blanket together. Inseong seemed to think he was being sly with his arm across the edge of the pyung sang behind Jaeyoon like he was at the movies. They looked happy together. Hwiyoung saw Juho shoot a look at the two followed by a genuine smile.

 

“Tae… did you do all of this?” He looked to the boy at his side to see him with his teeth poking through is smile and his eyes taking in everything around him. He looked so happy, everyone did.

 

“Yeah,” Taeyang responded with an even bigger smile. “I just wanted everyone to be happy for a night. I thought about how happy everyone was together just playing in the water and thought that maybe, instead of doing an actual activity, all we need to do is be together to have fun.”

 

“Tae…” Taeyang turned his head to look at Hwiyoung who was at a loss for words. What Taeyang had said was so beautiful and genuine. He really used his own stage so everyone else could have a good time together. If he wasn’t head over heels for the boy standing in front of him before, he was now. Taeyang, the boy who did anything just to make sure his friends were happy even if he didn’t show it. Taeyang, with his awkward stuttering and his cute smiles and his cheeks that turned a pretty rosy color when he was happy. Taeyang, the guy that put so much effort into everything he did and always had so much energy. Taeyang, with his bubbly personality and his sparkling eyes that seemed to hold everything inside of them. Taeyang. 

 

“You’re staring again,” Taeyang pointed out with a small giggle. 

 

“I- I’m just so surprised. This is so sweet. Tae, this whole setup is beautiful. You planned all of this and it turned out so amazingly.” Taeyang’s lips lifted at the corners and he looked down at his feet for no more than a second. He laughed and wrapped his arm around Hwiyoung’s shoulders. 

 

“Come on, let’s get snacks and soda if Sanghyuk didn’t spill it all,” Taeyang said as he made his way over to Youngbin who was put in charge of the food. 

 

“Tae!” Seokwoo called as he ran over to the two of them with the camera. Hwiyoung noticed that Taeyang made no effort to move his arm. “Tae! The man that planned this all! This is awesome! I don’t even know what we’re doing here but this is absolutely awesome!” The camera was pointed at Taeyang’s face like he was on show for the whole world but the blonde boy didn’t seem to care. He laughed at Seokwoo’s compliments and thanked him.

 

“So was it worth getting up this morning?” Taeyang asked with a smirk.

 

“Hell yeah!” Seokwoo said with a giddy smile. He pointed the camera at Hwiyoung next. “You were the first person Taeyang woke up right?” Hwiyoung nodded. “Does that mean you know what we are doing tonight?”

 

“I do, but I’m not saying anything,” Hwiyoung replied with a laugh. He didn’t realize he was doing it until he already did it, but he had unconsciously reached up and held the hand that Taeyang had placed on his shoulder with his own. Seokwoo started cracking up hysterically and he couldn’t keep the camera straight. 

 

“Tae! Your face! Hwi you- you-” Seokwoo had to stop because he couldn’t seem to breathe. “Did you see his face! Oh my god he’s speechless!” Hwiyoung moved his hands back down to his sides as fast as he could and Taeyang moved his arm to cover his mouth and face as he coughed and shifted his body to hide himself from Hwiyoung. He felt Taeyang’s fingers curl around his wrist as the older boy pulled him away from a laughing Seokwoo and towards the snacks. 

 

“Nice job, you broke him,” Youngbin said glancing at Seokwoo who was struggling to get up as he was still laughing. “What do you want?” Taeyang looked over at Hwiyoung.

 

“Uh,” he started unprepared. “Flavored almonds?” Youngbin threw him a pack and he thanked him. Taeyang, in the midst of asking for his snack, started arguing with both Youngbin and Sanghyuk about the quality of convenience store snacks. Instead of listening to their argument, Hwiyoung drifted over to Chanhee.

 

“Happy now?” he asked gesturing to the strawberry milk. Chanhee nodded like a happy child.

 

“This is actually really cool. I didn’t expect this from Tae. Everyone seems really happy too. I mean look at Inseong and Jaeyoon. And did you see yourself with Tae?” Hwiyoung nudged Chanhee with his foot and his friend just laughed at him. “You guys are adorable with each other.”

 

Hwiyoung sat down on the pyung sang Chanhee was leaning against and looked up at the sky. It was hard to see the stars from Taeyang’s roof with all the city lights around them. Hwiyoung wanted to see the stars. 

 

“Hey!” Seokwoo said pointing the camera towards Inseong and Jaeyoon. “It’s our newest couple!” Jaeyoon started stuttering and Inseong’s mouth dropped. From across the roof, Sanghyuk emitted a snort loud enough to be heard by everybody. “Oh come on, you already slept with each other-”

 

“Okay! Alright!” Jaeyoon said shrinking into Inseong’s side. “I get it, thanks for the update.” Everyone around them laughed and Seokwoo passed the camera to Youngbin so he could get food and a drink. 

 

“Uh, okay, well since I have the camera, that puts me in charge. As the father of this group, I propose we do a toast!” Sanghyuk and Jaeyoon groaned and Youngbin childishly stuck his tongue out at them. 

 

“Wait,” Sanghyuk interrupted. “If you’re the daddy then who’s the mommy?” 

 

“Please don’t ever call me that again,” Youngbin said with a shiver and the roof erupted into laughter again. “It’s strictly dad or father.” 

 

“Can I be the mommy?” Seokwoo asked walking back from the snack area. “I think I qualify as mother material.”

 

“I disagree,” Youngbin responded. “You’re a disaster.” Seokwoo furrowed his eyebrows at Youngbin sarcastically and smiled at the older man. 

 

“Awww,” Jaeyoon cooed. “They’re having their first fight.” Inseong laughed and started chanting for the two to kiss. Jaeyoon joined in and Sanghyuk started chanting as well. Chanhee joined in and soon, everybody was chanting for the mother and father to kiss. The chants started getting faster and faster until Seokwoo just shrugged and planted a kiss on Youngbin’s cheek. 

 

Inseong let out a high pitched squeak and fell onto Jaeyoon’s lap laughing as Jaeyoon struggled to contain his own laughter. Sanghyuk slapped his leg and Juho laughed so hard he had to hold his stomach. Everyone was smiling as laughing as Youngbin stumbled backwards and wiped his cheek.

 

“Seokwoo!”

 

“Yes, daddy dearest?” Seokwoo seemed so proud of himself, a small smile graced across his lips and his arms crossed across his chest. Chanhee started laughing even harder and Hwiyoung had to pat his back after he started coughing. 

 

“Why did Youngbin have to be holding the camera of all people?” Inseong asked as he held his hands out for the camera. Youngbin tossed it to him and the fox like boy glared at the new father for being so careless with his camera. He pointed the camera at Seokwoo and Youngbin and ordered them to recite their wedding vows. 

 

“So much for that toast,” Jaeyoon whispered.

 

“Okay!” Youngbin said holding up his cup of soda. Taeyang walked across the roof and climbed across Hwiyoung to sit beside him on top of the pyung sang. The older boy made no effort to put any space between them as he raised his water bottle to the sky. Chanhee raised his strawberry milk and the others raised their drinks. Hwiyoung raised his flavored almonds. “A toast! To Tae and his fantastic idea for a second stage of life, despite none of us knowing what it is. To life!” He ended with a loud voice.

 

“To life!” the rest cheered without a care for others in the neighborhood sleeping. They all took drinks of their beverages and Hwiyoung popped and almond into his mouth.

 

“Hey, hey!” Taeyang called. Everybody turned to look at him and Inseong pointed the camera to him. “The second stage of life, it’s starting soon. I want everyone to be quiet and watch the sunrise. I want everyone to see the sunrise and admire it just as you would a sunset, because sunsets always get to be special. But tonight, we are going to make the sunrise feel special!” A few members of the group ooed and ahed at Taeyang’s idea and nodded as they looked to the sky.

 

The sky was beginning to turn lighter shades of blue and the stars had long since faded. There were small streaks of orange beginning to show near the horizon as the sun began to rise. Hwiyoung took his eyes off of the sun to look at everyone around him. Inseong and Jaeyoon were cuddling in the corner covered by blankets. Inseong had his head placed on Jaeyoon’s shoulder and they looked happy and comfortable. Juho sat above them on the pyung sang next to Seokwoo who had the camera aimed at the sky. Youngbin sat next to Seokwoo with the blankets covering his legs. Chanhee sat below Hwiyoung with his strawberry milk and chocolate, bundled up in blankets to look like a puff ball. Sanghyuk sat between Chanhee and Inseong, no blankets needed but completely immersed in the sky. 

 

Then there was Taeyang. Taeyang was by his side, or to be accurate, on his side. The blonde boy and him were both under the blankets and Taeyang had cuddled against his side with his knees brought up to his chest. The boy’s arm was laid across Hwiyoung’s waist and his head seemed to be comfortable on his hip. Slowly, Hwiyoung brought his hand over to Taeyang’s head and placed it on his soft hair. He dragged his hand through his blonde hair and brought it back up to pet his head again. Taeyang shifted to make himself more comfortable on Hwiyoung’s side and hummed. 

 

Hwiyoung looked back up at the sunrise to see more orange. There were pinks and light blues scattered across the sky. However, no matter how hard Hwiyoung tried to focus on the sunrise, he couldn’t stop looking back down at the boy lying on top of him. There was no sunrise that would ever be more beautiful than Taeyang, that he was sure of. He knew Taeyang wanted to make the sunrise feel special, but no matter how hard he tried Hwiyoung couldn’t focus on the sky. A million sunrises happened every day. So while it might have been beautiful, there was nothing more beautiful or special than the boy whose head he held in his lap.


	8. Cruel Scrapes and Bruises

The sun was in the sky. The traces of orange and pink that had been there when it rose were long gone. How long had it been now, one, maybe two hours? It was hard to tell. Nobody was awake to tell him the time.

 

He wasn’t sure who was the first to fall asleep, he assumed it was either Inseong or Jaeyoon. They hadn’t moved from their position since the sun had passed the horizon. It hadn’t taken long for Chanhee to fall asleep either. His head had started to dip back and forth before the sun had fully risen. After the sun had fully risen, however, his head was still, bent onto his own shoulder. He looked comfortable enough. Sanghyuk had moved to lie down at some point during the sunrise and he hadn’t seen him move since. Juho’s head was sitting on his own shoulder, completely still. He assumed the faint snores he heard came from the red haired boy as he watched the man’s chest rise up and down in union with them. He remembered, some time after the sun had risen, Seokwoo had fallen to the side slowly. The camera had tumbled out of his hand, most likely dead now that it had been on all night. Youngbin, who had been leaning against Seokwoo, had also fallen. It was a surprise that neither of them had woken up because of it. 

 

He wasn’t sure when Taeyang fell asleep. After he had shifted that one time during the sunrise, he hadn’t moved or made a noise. The boy didn’t even snore. He could feel the movement of Taeyang’s chest rise and fall as he breathed in and out, but he wasn’t sure exactly when he had started breathing evenly in sleep. He hadn’t stopped petting the hair on Taeyang’s head until long after the sun had risen. Instead, he let his hand fall on the boy’s shoulder. Taeyang hadn’t woken up. Nobody had.

 

Why was it that he was the only one awake? Juho had gone on a rant about having work in the morning and yet here he was, fast asleep on a roof. He supposed it would be nice to wake the group up, after all, they did all have things to do. But for some reason, Hwiyoung couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t wake them up because that would mean waking Taeyang up. Maybe he should, but his brain told him to wait five more minutes. Five more minutes, just five more. Once that had passed, another five minutes. Five minutes later and another five minutes. He had lost track of how many five minutes he procrastinated. 

 

Was he being selfish, not waking the group up when they had places to be? Most likely. He didn’t seem to mind at the moment though. He didn’t want to wake up Taeyang. If he woke the boy up, the boy would move, He didn’t want Taeyang to move. 

 

This was another strange occurance he noticed. When Chanhee would touch him before, fine, he was okay with it. He didn’t particularly enjoy it, but he didn’t hate it either. When the others held their arms around his shoulders, fine, he was okay with it. Better, but he could live without the physical contact. Then there was Taeyang. He didn’t want the boy to move. He wanted to be in contact with him for as long as he possibly could, even if it meant being late for school for the first time in… well, he couldn’t actually remember the last time he had been late for school. But he didn’t really care about that much. After all, everyone showed up late to school a few days out of the year. 

 

He looked up at the sun and realized how little clouds were actually in the sky. The rainy month of May was giving him one sunny day out of the many. That was good, because it would kind of suck if it rained while they were up here. 

 

He heard a small cough and looked over towards the sound. Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon turned around and locked eyes with Hwiyoung. Had he been checking if anyone had noticed? How long had he been awake? Hwiyoung couldn’t remember seeing him move in the past hour, but then again, his eyes had hardly left Taeyang during that time.

 

“What time?” Jaeyoon mouthed. So, Jaeyoon didn’t want to wake the rest up either. It made sense, and Hwiyoung could understand. He supposed it was the same for Jaeyoon with Inseong on his side as it was for Hwiyoung with Taeyang in his lap. 

 

“I don’t know,” Hwiyoung mouthed back. Jaeyoon gave him a smile. 

 

“Should we wake the rest up?” he mouthed. Should they? Yes. Did he want to? No.

 

“We should,” Hwiyoung mouthed back. “But do you really want to?” Jaeyoon looked up at the sun before turning his attention back to Hwiyoung. 

 

“No.” Hwiyoung nodded and looked up at the sun. What time were Jaeyoon’s dance classes? Would he be late for them? Would he be upset? Or maybe it was the same situation as Hwiyoung. He would be late for school but he wouldn’t be upset. Would Taeyang be upset to be late? He assumed he wouldn’t. Jaeyoon didn’t seem upset and that was enough to convince him everything was fine. 

 

He moved his hand from Taeyang’s shoulder and placed it back on his head. His hair was so soft. His hand slowly started sifting through the boy’s hair. He looked up to Jaeyoon as he brought his hand back up to the top of Taeyang’s head. Jaeyoon was watching him with a small smile.

 

“Whipped. I knew it,” Jaeyoon whispered. 

 

“Shove it up your ass,” Hwiyoung replied in his quietest whisper. He gestured his chin towards the sleeping boy on Jaeyoon’s side and the pink haired boy turned his face away immediately, the middle finger pointed back at him. Hwiyoung laughed under his breath.

 

Taeyang’s head moved. It jerked back slightly and then twisted as if Taeyang was looking around. He couldn’t see if his eyes were open or not. 

 

“What…?” God, Taeyang’s voice was raspy in the morning. Hwiyoung coughed in hopes that Taeyang would remove himself from his lap, immediately. Suddenly, he could deal with Taeyang being awake if it meant he could hide his sudden dilema. Taeyang lifted his head up and turned over to look at Hwiyoung. He smiled at the boy on his lap and Taeyang smiled back at him. Please get up, Tae, please for the love of God at least move your head to the side a little bit more, Hwiyoung thought. 

 

“Morning.” Okay, Taeyang’s morning voice was really hot. 

 

“Morning,” Hwiyoung replied without showing how much that really turned him on. Hwiyoung moved his hands to push Taeyang up into a sitting position. “I think my legs fell asleep,” he lied as he pulled the bottom of his big hoodie down over his area hoping that would hide his morning arousal. 

 

“Oh, sorry,” Taeyang said as he sat up right. “What time is it?” Hwiyoung admitted that he had no idea. Taeyang, with his eyes still half closed, reached over and smacked the side of Seokwoo’s head. Seokwoo reached a hand out for Taeyang and smacked his leg weakly.

 

“Bitch… ever heard… sleep? Ugh, doesn’t matter. Fuck it. Sun. Ow,” Seokwoo muttered incoherently as he rolled over to cover his face from the sun. Youngbin sat up as Seokwoo pushed him off in annoyance. Youngbin ended up waking Juho up by kicking him accidentally. Apparently, Youngbin kicked him pretty hard because Juho screamed himself awake which woke up Sanghyuk and Inseong. Jaeyoon pouted at Hwiyoung and all he had to offer was a sad smile in return. He moved his foot to poke at Chanhee’s head with his toes. 

 

“What?” Chanhee asked as he jumped awake. There was chocolate stained across his face. 

 

“God damnit,” Taeyang said. “Someone tell me the time it looks like noon already. Wait!” Taeyang shot up straight. “Did everyone see the sunrise?” Hwiyoung chuckled and said he did. Chanhee nodded sleepily and so did Seokwoo. Youngbin told the boy that he had and kicked Juho again who seemed to wake up for the second time. He had also seen the sunrise. Jaeyoon and Inseong reassured the boy and Sanghyuk violently shook his head yes. “Okay, good,” Taeyang said falling into Hwiyoung’s side. It was good that it was his side and not his lap anymore. 

 

“Shit!” Juho said, suddenly full of energy. He launched off of the pyung sang and reached for the shoes he had kicked off at some point. “Shit! It’s already 8:30!” Jaeyoon and Taeyang raced after Juho to get up. Taeyang grabbed Hwiyoung’s wrist to pull him up with him.

 

“Hwiyoung! Chanhee! You two are going to be late for school! Well… I mean you’re already late but move it! You’re going to be more late,” Taeyang called as he moved to bunch the blankets up on top of the pyung sang. Jaeyoon pulled Sanghyuk up who looked both confused and worried at the same time.

 

“Damnit,” Inseong muttered. “Mom, dad, we’re going to be late for school.” Seokwoo and Youngbin both emitted defeated groans as they pushed themselves up to their feet. 

 

“Wake up,” Hwiyoung commanded as he slapped the back of Chanhee’s head. Chanhee had been late to school before many times so he wasn’t surprised that his friend didn’t seem to care. Chanhee just groaned and wiped at his face to get the chocolate off. 

 

Jaeyoon pulled Hwiyoung’s wrist and moved them both off to the side. Jaeyoon watched as Taeyang ran around collecting blankets before moving his face to Hwiyoung’s ear.

 

“I suggest,” Jaeyoon whispered, “that you pull down your hoodie just a little bit more.” Hwiyoung pushed the pink haired boy away with his mouth wide open but pulled his hoodie down more anyways. Jaeyoon laughed and looked down before meeting his eyes again. “I also suggest, that you leave before Tae offers to walk you home, because he will. That could become… an issue.”

 

Hwiyoung nodded and ran over to Chanhee and pulled the boy to his feet. He grabbed a water bottle that was left on the floor, most likely Sanghyuk’s, and uncapped it to dump the contents on Chanhee’s head. 

 

“What the fuck man?” Chanhee asked as he backed away and shook out his hair like a wet dog. 

 

“School. Now. Move.” Chanhee glanced down at Hwiyoung’s pulled down hoodie and cracked a smile. 

 

“Okay, okay,” he said with a suppressed laugh, “gotta go, I get it.” Hwiyoung rolled his eyes and pushed Chanhee. 

 

“We have to get to school. Sorry to leave so suddenly but we are really, really late,” Hwiyoung explained. “Thank you so much Taeyang, this was awesome.” Taeyang flashed a smile at the two boys as they made their way down the stairs.

 

“Hwi! You-”

 

“Not out of hearing distance yet,” Hwiyoung warned his excitable friend. The second they had passed down the stairs and around the corner Chanhee stopped him. 

 

“You got a hard on for Tae the second you woke up didn’t you?” Hwiyoung rolled his eyes and pushed Chanhee to keep walking but Chanhee dug his feet into the ground. “Is that why we left in such a hurry? So that Tae wouldn’t take the chance to offer to walk you home? Do you need to go home so you can-”

 

“Enough!” Hwiyoung said sternly as he spun Chanhee around and pushed him to walk forward. 

 

“You know,” Chanhee started again. “You could have just asked Tae to-”

 

“Do you ever stop?” Hwiyoung asked as he continued to push them both forward. “Get you and your dirty thoughts out of my personal bubble.” Chanhee scoffed but continued to let Hwiyoung push him forward. 

 

“You’re hard for Tae and I’m the one with dirty thoughts,” Chanhee mumbled. 

 

By the time they made it back to Hwiyoung’s house he realized another problem. 

 

“Shit!” he muttered as he dug his fingers into his scalp. “Shit! There is no way my parents didn’t notice I wasn’t there this morning.” Chanhee reached over and rubbed Hwiyoung’s shoulders like a coach preparing his team for a game.

 

“Okay, this is why I’m your friend. I am the master of this stuff. The cars? How many do you see? One, right? Which means your dad already left for work. This is what we do. We climb in through your window and as quietly as we can, we get you changed and we get your school stuff.”

 

“I’ll do that,” Hwiyoung told him. “Go get your own stuff. We can meet back up at the school.” Chanhee nodded and gave Hwiyoung an evil smile.

 

“Oh right, I forgot. You have… something else to take care of-”

 

“Chanhee!” Chanhee smirked up at him and saluted before running down the street toward his home. Hwiyoung shook out his shoulders and glanced at the ladder. Okay, this would be easy. 

 

He carried the ladder over to his window making sure he wasn’t in sight of any windows on the first floor his mom could see him through. He climbed up slowly and inched the window open as quietly as he could. Once he was inside, he made a mental note to kick Chanhee later.

 

♦️

 

He was running toward the school building while tying his tie at the same time which, he realized, wasn’t the easiest thing to do in the world. He had spent his bus ride sorting through his papers and double checking that he had everything. Surprisingly, he had made it through the house with everything he needed without getting caught. 

 

His bag was banging against his back violently and his legs kind of hurt from sitting in the same position for so long. It would be fine by lunch time with Chanhee. 

 

“Woah, Kyun, are you late for school?” No. No, not now. Keep running, keep running. Only a little bit more to go. The doors were so close. He was so close. He was-

 

“Fuck!” he cursed as he fell to the ground. He watched as his bag, unzipped, slid across the pavement and his notes scattered across the ground. Sungmin made no special effort to avoid the mess and instead made sure to step all over his notes. 

 

“I don’t think we finished our conversation last time we met,” Sungmin said as he crouched down to be at Hwiyoung’s level. 

 

“Fuck you,” Hwiyoung said as he pushed Sungmin to the ground as hard as he could. He pushed himself up and ran for his bag but fell to the pavement again when Sungmin tripped him. He could feel the scraps on his arms and face. 

 

“That’s not nice,” Sungmin stated in a taunting voice as he picked Hwiyoung up off the ground by his arms. He held his shoulders and pushed him out of the parking lot. “Sungwoo, grab his bag.”

 

Hwiyoung groaned as Sungmin slammed him into a wall on the side of the school. Of course they would know how to avoid the security cameras. Of course. Hwiyoung fell to the ground and backed as far as he could against the walls as Sungmin couched down in front of him again. 

 

“Like I said,” he started, “we weren’t done with our conversation.” He watched as Sungwoo dropped his bag to the ground and kicked it into the pavement. “Now let’s talk, Kyun. You’re late to school. I can’t imagine why, but you are. I doubt you’re doing what we said, though. So let me make this clear. Sungwoo and I want to be at the top of the class. We are tired of being number two and three. Stop trying so hard. Back off.”

 

He didn’t respond. What would he say? If he agreed, they wouldn’t believe him. If he talked back, they would hurt him. Maybe if he just turned his head to the side and waited for them to go away, they would. But they never did.

 

“Fine,” Sungmin said getting up. “Sungwoo, he’s all yours. Ten minutes until we have to get to class. Have fun.” Sungmin walked around the corner of the building and Sungwoo took the opportunity to straddle him. Sungwoo made himself comfortable on Hwiyoung’s lap and tilted his head at him.

 

“You’re not fighting back, why not? It’s not fun when you don’t fight back.” Hwiyoung closed his eyes and stayed still. He wouldn’t fight back. Maybe Sungwoo would just get bored. He was tired, he was so tired. He just wanted them to go away. Maybe if they thought he was finally giving up they would leave. Maybe… just maybe.

 

Sungwoo placed his fingers at the base of Hwiyoung’s neck and trailed them down his shirt. Sungwoo smiled his wicked smile as he counted off the buttons as he undid them. Okay, okay time to fight back, he told himself. When Sunwoo got to the fifth button Hwiyoung raised his hands to push the boy off of him but Sungwoo was prepared. Sungwoo grabbed Hwiyoung’s wrist and twisted it upside down. Hwiyoung let out a scream of pain as Sungwoo bent his arm in a way it wasn’t supposed to bend. 

 

“Oh, that's more like it,” Sungwoo said as he continued popping the buttons on Hwiyoung’s shirt with one hand, Hwiyoung's other hand doing no damage as he tried to push the boy away from him. He popped the buttons until they were all undone. He had been in such a rush this morning he hadn’t remembered to put the tank top under his uniform. Of all days… 

 

Sungwoo moved his head forward and placed a kiss in the middle of Hwiyoung’s chest. He shifted his hips to try and throw the boy off but Sungwoo just pushed his hand down on his hips. His thumb dug into Hwiyoung’s skin and he resisted the urge to cry out. Sungwoo continued to kiss down his chest until he came to the waist line. 

 

“It looks like there is some stuff in the way,” Sungwoo said as he moved his finger to lift the rim of Hwiyoung’s pants. He moved his other arm to push Sungwoo’s hand away but he just ended up releasing his hips to hold his hands away. Sungwoo's thumbs dug into Hwiyoung's wrists and he was convinced the blood flow to his hands would stop. His wrists hurt, Sungwoo was hurting him. Sungwoo kissed down by his waistline again and brought his head back up to Hwiyoung’s face. “What about here instead? My hand’s are a little occupied. Should I kiss your boo boos and make them feel better?”

 

“Get off of me,” Hwiyoung ordered as Sungwoo brought his lips to Hwiyoung’s cheeks. Sungwoo shifted one of his hands to hold Hwiyoung’s wrists to the wall behind him and used his free hand to hold his head in place. He took the opportunity to shift his hips upward to throw the boy instead but all Sungwoo did was moan and smirk. 

 

“Grinding? Kyun I didn’t think you were the type.” Sungwoo started moving his hips on top of Hwiyoung and he felt a tear slid down his cheek. He tried to move his legs to kick him but Sungwoo’s legs were in the way. While he grinded his hips, he moved his lips to another scrape on Hwiyoung’s face. He traced his tongue along another cut and moaned louder as he continued to grind on Hwiyoung. Sungwoo was clearly enjoying this, not even hiding the fact that he was aroused for some unfathomable reason. Hwiyoung wasn’t enjoying this, he wanted to cry. He felt tears sliding down his cheeks and he tried to fight Sungwoo off of him. His hands were pinned above him and he couldn't move his legs. Every time he moved his hips to push Sungwoo, the boy got a rush out of it. 

 

“Please, please stop it,” Hwiyoung begged as Sungwoo kissed a spot next to his lips. “Please, Sungwoo just stop it,” he continued to beg. He didn’t care how weak he looked. He didn’t care how defenseless he looked in front of them anymore. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted Sungwoo to stop. Sungwoo dug his thumb harder into Hwiyoung’s wrist and he cried out. “Sungwoo you’re hurting me!” He felt Sungwoo’s lips on his cheek again and he knew Sungwoo could taste the tears sliding down his face. “Sungwoo please!” 

 

Sungwoo’s tongue grazed across his cheek right where a tear had fallen and he kissed the same spot. He groaned again as he twisted his hips on Hwiyoung’s. Hwiyoung tried to push his hips away but that only aroused Sungwoo more. 

 

“God, Youngkyun. The things you do to me,” he whispered against Hwiyoung’s ear. He shivered as more tears fell and he wanted to cry out but he couldn’t find his voice. Sungwoo grazed his teeth along the edges of Hwiyoung’s ear and he felt a sob escape from his throat.

 

“Sungwoo… Sungwoo please. Please I’m begging you. Stop. Stop it please.” He felt Sungwoo’s breath against his ear and he felt his lips on his neck. He felt Sungwoo’s hips on his and this thumb digging into his wrists. “Please. Please. Sungwoo, please. Stop it, please.”

 

“I’ll stop,” Sungwoo whispered. “If you finish me.”

 

“No, no, no, Sungwoo just please stop, no,” Hwiyoung begged immediately with a shaky voice. He heard his voice crack and he felt another tear fall down his cheek. Sungwoo rolled his hips against his again and Hwiyoung whined. “Sungwoo… please, no. No, I won’t do it, just stop. Please.”

 

“Times up.” Sungwoo got off of Hwiyoung with no hesitation. He listened to Sungmin; and Sungmin said time was up. “Think twice about what I said. Until next time. Let’s go Sungwoo.”

 

He sat behind the building for a long time. He hugged his knees to his chest and he hid his face in them. He didn’t bother wiping the tears from his face because he knew more would come. He used his wrist to wipe the spit off of his ear and neck but it never felt clean enough. Every time he wiped it away he felt like Sungwoo was still there. He couldn’t get rid of the feeling of Sungwoo’s breath or his touch and he hated it. He wanted it gone. He didn’t want his body littered with his touch. 

 

“I just want them to stop,” he whispered to himself with a crack in his voice. He let out another sob and let his head fall down to his knees. “I just- I just want it to stop. And- All of it. Why won’t- why won’t they just stop it?” Hwiyoung screamed as he flung his hand against the wall behind him. He let his hand fall back to the pavement and let out another strangled sob. “Why won’t they just stop?” he screamed as he reached out for his bag. 

 

His bag. That’s how it all started. They just wanted his notes. Why had he let it come so far? What was he doing so wrong? 

 

“I hate them!” he screamed as he crawled over to his bag and threw it against the wall. He pulled it back by the strap and threw it into the wall again. “I hate this!” He slammed it again, and again. One notebook fell to the ground and he continued to scream. “I just want it to stop!” He let go of his bag this time as he threw it at the wall. The rest of his notebooks and papers fell to the ground in heaps and piles and he couldn’t care less about them. “Why won’t they just stop?”

 

He felt his knees hit the pavement before he even knew he was falling. He let himself fall back against the wall helplessly. The bag, the notes, the wall, the slaps, the pain, the spit, the kisses, Sungwoo’s kisses, Sungwoo’s breath, Sungmin’s hits, Sungmin’s threats, the bruises. He just wanted it all to end. He was tired. He didn’t want to be top of the class. Fuck what his parents wanted. Fuck what everybody else wanted for him. He just wanted it all to stop. The pressure, the expectations, the pain, the violations. He wanted everything to stop. He wanted time itself to stop. 

 

“Hwiyoung!” Someone was calling for him. He couldn’t tell who. Was it his own sobs blocking out the sound of the voice or was it the ringing in his ears? “Wha- Hwi?”

 

He turned his head to see a boy standing at the corner of the wall. He had crumpled up papers in his hand, Hwiyoung’s papers. One had a footprint stamped into it and the rest were covered in dirt stains. Sungwoo must have forgotten them when he grabbed Hwiyoung’s bag. He couldn’t see his expression properly. He couldn’t see anything clearly. Everything was a blur with streaks of light through his tears. Everything was so blurry.

 

“Hwi…?” He let out another sob as the boy walked towards him. No, no, not again. No, not another person. Sungwoo’s touch was all over him, not again.

 

“No! Get away from me!” 

 

“Hwi I just-”

 

Hwiyoung screamed at the boy again as he backed away. No. Not again. He didn’t want his touch. He didn’t want anyone’s touch. Sungwoo’s touch, it was there. It was everywhere. His lips, his breath, his hands. The bruises. He had never hurt Hwiyoung before, never. His lies, his deceiving lies. His lips, his breath, his touch, the bruises, his voice, his touch. Why wouldn’t it go away?

 

He saw the boy lean down by his side and he backed away more. He didn’t want to be touched. Get away from me, he thought. Get away from me!

 

“Hwi, you-” he saw the hand reach out for him and he let out another sob.

 

“No!” he screamed. He fell backwards and rolled onto his side to crawl away. He was done. Done. No more Sungwoo. No more. Not again. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he heard from a distance. Was it the other boy by his side? He didn’t care. He heard a squeak and a sob that wasn’t his own. “I’m so sorry. I- I should have- I should have been here for you. I should have been… been by your side. I was supposed to always protect you. I’m so- God I’m so sorry Hwi. This is my fault I’m so-”

 

“Stop it! Don’t touch me!” he screamed back at the boy’s reached out hand. 

 

“Let me help you!”

 

“No, get away from me!”

 

“You’re bleeding!” the boy screamed back. “You have scratches on your face and smudged blood everywhere! Your hands are covered in blood and your shirt is wide open! Your hair looks like its been pulled everywhere and your crying! Please, please just let me help you!”

 

“I don’t need your help!” he screamed back. “I’m just done so leave me alone!” The boy reached out and grabbed Hwiyoung’s wrist. He tried to pull himself free but the other boy held on. It hurt. It hurt so much. The bruises. “Let go of me! Sungwoo, please! I’m done! Stop! Stop!” he let out a sob. One tear. Another. A river flowing down his own face again and cracked screams screaming at… who was he even screaming at?

 

“Sungwoo is gone! He’s not here! This hand? It’s mine!” the boy screamed back. “Kang Chanhee! Say it! Kang Chanhee!” Hwiyoung let out another cry and tried to open his eyes. “Say it! I’m not Sungwoo, I’m Kang Chanhee!”

 

“Kang Chanhee,” he whispered through a cry.

 

“See? Sungwoo isn’t here. It’s just me, Kang Chanhee. I’m here. I’m safe, remember? I’ll never hurt you, remember? I’m supposed to protect you. Sungwoo is gone. That hand on your wrist, it’s mine, not his.” Hwiyoung nodded along with the voice. Chanhee’s voice. He closed his eyes again and let out another cry. He felt a hand slide it’s way around his shoulder and pull him into an embrace. But it’s okay, he thought. It’s Chanhee. It’s not Sungwoo, it’s Chanhee. Chanhee is safe. “I’m sorry. Hwi, I’m so sorry. I should have been with you. I should have been here to protect you. They’ve- They’ve never been this bad and I- Hwi just please listen to me. Listen to my voice. It’s okay. I’ll never leave you alone to be hurt like this again. I will never hurt you. I promise, no, I swear on my life that I will never hurt you in any way.”

 

He wanted to believe it, to feel safe in Chanhee’s arms; but it was so hard with Sungwoo’s touch all over him. Sungwoo had never hurt him before. Sungwoo had never showed any intent to hurt him. He told Sungmin to stop with petty excuses like ‘don’t hurt his pretty face’ but he had never tried to hurt him himself. Sungwoo hurt him. The blue and black marks on his wrists were Sungwoo’s marks. The feeling he couldn’t get off of him was Sungwoo’s. He felt like a used object. He felt like a toy. But Chanhee would protect him, right? Chanhee would be there for him. Chanhee would never leave him. Chanhee would help him. 

 

“Kang Chanhee,” he whispered through his raspy voice. He moved his hand to make sure the boy was still there. 

 

“Kang Chanhee,” his friend replied. “That’s right. Kang Chanhee.”

 

♦️

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Chanhee asked for the fiftieth time in the past hour. Hwiyoung nodded and poked at the bandage on his face with his free hand. His other hand was entwined with Chanhee’s as they walked. He hadn’t let go since Chanhee pulled him off the ground. 

 

“Should I just slack a little in school? If I just let them be first and second in the school, they’ll leave me alone. I should just slack off right?” 

 

“Why would you do that?” Chanhee asked. “Won’t your mom be mad? And your dad too, he’ll be mad. And you never know, those bastards might just see it as being weak. Sungwoo seemed too fond of you to let you be anyways.” Hwiyoung nodded and hitched his bag higher on his shoulder as they walked. “What… what are you going to tell your parents?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well,” Chanhee started, swinging their hands as they walked, “you left in the middle of the night last night. Then, this morning, you snuck back in without telling anyone. I didn’t see your phone with you so I assume you left it without responding to their texts. And now, you’re going to return home covered in cuts and bruises.” Hwiyoung thought about it for a second. Chanhee was right, he had no explanation.

 

“What if we say I got mugged in the streets. We can say that you saved me. It might even earn you brownie points with my parents,” Hwiyoung suggested. Chanhee laughed at the stupid idea.

 

“Oh yeah, don’t you hate it when muggers smuggle you out of your room in the middle of the night and beat you up in the streets?” Hwiyoung shoved Chanhee lightly with his shoulder and they both laughed. 

 

“I can tell them I snuck out through the front door. If I tell them that, maybe they will believe the part about me being mugged.” Chanhee tsked as they turned to walk down a familiar street. “Are we not going to my house?” Hwiyoung asked confused. 

 

“Nope. We are going to mine. We have to copy your notes onto clean, not ripped papers so you can actually use them. I mean, you have to have good notes to stay at the top of the class right?” Hwiyoung smiled down at his friend and swung their hands back and forth again. “And also, your parents would never believe you if you said you snuck out in your school uniform. Use the spare clothes you keep at my house. We can dirty them up a bit and fake the entire thing. They’ll buy it, I’m sure.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hwiyoung said after walking in silence for a while. “I’m sorry I screamed at you and yelled at you. I know you would never hurt me.”

 

“No, no!” Chanhee said pausing their walk. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just let you walk to school alone like that. And don’t you dare say that walking to school alone is a normal thing, because knowing how bad the brothers have gotten, I should have known better than to leave you alone like that. I should have been there to protect you, so I’m sorry.”

 

“Wait,” Hwiyoung said after his friend had finished. “How did you know? You’re not even wearing your uniform. It looks like you rushed over to the school, why?” Chanhee gave him a cheeky smiles and swung their hands again as they walked. 

 

“I just had a bad feeling.”

 

Chanhee lived in one of the more run down neighborhoods in Ansan. The buildings in these areas were always made of several different materials at once. Most of them had stray wires hanging from them and the rest were held together by spare, nailed on wood and tarps. Plywood and sheets of metal made walls and held some of the houses together. There were always dead plants in rotting pots outside of doors with broken screens and windows. Most of the time there was broken chips of glass and leaves on the ground as nobody was around to rake them. 

 

Chanhee’s house was a familiar sight. It wasn’t exactly the most beautiful sight, but it was a familiar one. The walls of the building, much like the several around it lining the streets, were dirtied with age and wear. Unhealthy looking vines seemed to continuously grow along them even after being cut down. There was a tarp covering the front part of the one floor home and the gate before the door was cracked and slanted sideways. Part of the front steps was flooded with muddy water and Chanhee made sure to note to sweep it up later. The inside was nicer, in Hwiyoung’s opinion. There were only four rooms in the entire house, two bedroom and one bath. The main room was clean, as Mrs. Kang liked it. Chanhee’s mother had always made a point to keep the house as clean as they could. Instead of dead plants hanging out of cracked window sills, Mrs. Kang made sure to have fresh vegetables and fruits planted outside of her windows. They would be useful if they grew for the season. The floor was hardwood and cracked in some places. There was a stray nail rusted to the floor by the dining room which was avoided at all costs. There was a small table in the sitting area where the family ate and played games. There was no tv sitting before it, but instead a small radio. Mrs. Kang always had music playing while she was home. The rug in the sitting area looked newly cleaned and cleared of dirt and dust, which wasn’t common as cleaning the rug was difficult with the table on top of it. The kitchen was small, only a little countertop space with an old fridge with dirt ingrained in it by now. Some of the shelves inside of it were broken and cracked, but it still worked and that was all that mattered. 

 

“Hello, Mrs. Kang,” Hwiyoung said with a bow as he took off his shoes by the front door.

 

“Hello dear! How are- oh my! HeeHee! What did you do to his poor face?” she asked with a light smack to the back of the boy’s head. 

 

“Mama!” he whined playfully. “I didn’t do anything I promise.” 

 

“You’ve been keeping him out of trouble, right Hwi?” He replied with a ‘yes ma’am’ and she wrapped her arms around him for a hug. “It’s good to see you. It’s been a while. Chanhee here has been so happy lately, so whatever you keep sneaking him out of the house for must be worth it!” Hwiyoung smiled sheepishly as Chanhee dragged him towards the sitting room.

 

“Soonhee! Younghee!” Chanhee called. The two little girls had been sitting on top of the table playing dress up with what looked like ripped fabrics, a dress found in a dumpster, one of Chanhee’s winter coats, their mother’s night shirt, and a baseball cap too big to fit either of their small heads.

 

“HeeHee!” Soonhee called as she darted off of the table to give Chanhee a big hug. He picked her up in his arms and spun her around before placing her back down.

 

“Oh, Hwiyoung!” Younghee called as she raced forward for a hug. Younghee always made sure Chanhee knew that she loved Hwiyoung more than him. Hwiyoung patted her on the back as Soonhee ran to the kitchen for the fruit her mother had put out. “Did you come to play with us again?” the girl asked. 

 

“He’s here to work with me on school stuff. He’s my friend!” Chanhee argued pushing Younghee into the sitting room just hard enough for her to stumble. Chanhee gave Hwiyoung a smile as he ran to the kitchen to run away from his furious sister.

 

“Children, could you not run in the house, please?” Mrs. Kang asked nicely as she picked Younghee off of the floor and hung her upside down. She little girl screamed and laughed as her mother dangled her.

 

“Come on, before my sisters notice you’re gone,” Chanhee said tugging him to his room. Chanhee’s room was extremely cramped. The only reason they went to his room instead of staying out in the sitting room like they would usually do is because he knew they couldn’t talk about what happened in front of his mother. The reason his room was so cramped was because it wasn’t meant to be a full sized bedroom. The room was big enough to hold his single bed and a wardrobe, but that was it. It wasn’t like he needed much anyways. He did all of his homework out in the sitting room anyways. Unfolded clothes were usually clumped in a small pile by the foot of his bed. Anything that needed to be dried could sit out on the clothing line outside of this window in the summer months. He had all his books and school materials in a box stuffed underneath his bed. Chanhee wasn’t a materialistic person, so he didn’t need much room to hold everything. His sisters were the same way. They stayed in their mom’s room. Mrs. Kang’s logic was that she didn’t want Chanhee’s delinquency to rub off on them in their sleep. 

 

Hwiyoung sat at the edge of Chanhee’s bed and threw his backpack against the wall lightly. Chanhee sat opposite him by the pillow of his bed and did the same with his backpack. He pulled out the bin under his bed and gave Hwiyoung a few extra sheets of paper while putting a few in front of him. They unzipped Hwiyoung’s bag which had papers and books stuffed carelessly inside. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it first?” Chanhee asked. 

 

“Um,” Hwiyoung started. He was ready to say no when, “yeah, even though I don’t want to, yeah.” Chanhee sat straight up and folded his hands in his lap. 

 

“Take your time, there’s no rush.” Hwiyoung took a deep breath in and nodded his head. 

 

“Okay, well, first they threw me on the ground when I was right in front of the school. Sungmin threatened me about being first in the class again. He didn’t really do much. If it counts for anything, I kicked him. They brought me behind the school’s side because of cameras and Sungmin gave his brother ten minutes to do whatever he wanted with me.” Hwiyoung held up his wrists with the darkened marks in the center of them. “He dug his fingers into them really hard. Y’know, I used to think that Sungwoo would never hurt me, because he never did before. He hurt me this time. God, my hair feels like it’s been pulled from its roots and I don’t even remember him pulling my hair. Everytime I tried to push him off with my hips he just got more aroused. He was actually grinding on me.” He took another deep breath and risked a glance at his friend. Chanhee looked like he was about to cry and Hwiyoung was pretty sure he was close himself. “I started begging him when he wouldn’t stop. I just got so- so tired of it all that I started begging. He said he would stop if I- if… if… uhm, if I finished him. I told him no, obviously. I’m actually thankful that Sungmin stopped him when he did. The blood on my hands is my fault. I banged them against the walls pretty hard.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Chanhee whispered. “I will kill them, I swear to god I will kill them. I’ll put them in their goddamn places,” Chanhee threatened under his breath. Hwiyoung shook his head with a laugh and grabbed a paper from his bag. 

 

They sat copying Hwiyoung’s notes for a while, himself changing into his spare clothes at some point. It took a few hours, but eventually they had all the notes copied. All of Hwiyoung’s notes were placed into his folders neatly and Chanhee helped him fix what was left in his backpack to look like he hadn’t thrown it against a wall.

 

“Boys! Boys, come out here!” Mrs. Kang called. Chanhee pulled him up and dragged him out to the sitting room. Mrs. Kang was folding blankets and the two of them ran over to help immediately. “Mrs. Ha from down the street dropped these off, wasn’t that nice of her?” Chanhee nodded with a smile on his face and grabbed one corner of the blanket while Hwiyoung grabbed the other.

 

“I’ll make sure to thank he the next time I see her,” Chanhee mentioned. “But do we need all these extra blankets? After all, it is getting warmer outside.”

 

“Yes!” Mrs. Kang argued. “Even summer nights are cold, and Soonhee’s blanket finally gave out. The stuffing went everywhere. We will need these, trust me. Be a good boy for once and thank her sincerely.” Chanhee nodded and grabbed another blanket to fold. 

 

“Where did the girls go?” Hwiyoung asked as he grabbed a sheet and began finding the corners. Mrs. Kang gestured to the front door. 

 

“Outside. Do you and HeeHee remember when you were little and you would play in the field down by the old animal shelter?” Hwiyoung and Chanhee nodded with big smiles on their faces. Of course he remembered that field. The baseball field had just closed down for some reason the two of them didn’t care about. They used to toss a ball around and chase each other when they were bored. Sometimes they would sword fight with sticks and one time Chanhee climbed the old fence and pretended to be King Kong. The workers at the animal shelter used to know them both by name. They came often enough to help around the shelter. Hwiyoung’s parents didn’t like it much, but the two of them had always enjoyed feeding the dogs and cats that had been found on the streets. “Well,” Mrs. Kang started again as she reached for the ends of the blanket in his hands. “The girls like to go play there often. HeeHee must have shown them. I can only imagine how overgrown the grass is now. I don’t worry too much though. You two were always fine and you were younger than them at the time.”

 

“So, mama,” Chanhee started after folding the second to last blanket. “Did you find a new job yet?” Hwiyoung looked up in shock.

 

“Mrs. Kang, you lost your job? I’m so sorry,” he said as he passed the last blanket over to the pile. She gave him a smile and pinched his unscraped cheek. 

 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll find one soon enough. But I gotta tell you boys, being a single mom looking for a job is hard. You wouldn’t believe how many sexist pigs still run businesses and how many still think it’s fair to pay women less than men! No, nuh uh. I won’t take a job that won’t pay me enough to take care of my babies.” 

 

“Ooh, you go mama,” Chanhee cheered in a low voice as he walked over to the kitchen for the fruit that had been put out for his sisters earlier. 

 

“So where are you two heading? I’m interested as to why Hwiyoung is no longer in his school uniform.” Hwiyoung laughed and looked down at his clothing.

 

“We are gonna go rub dirt on his clothes and tell his mom he got beat up by thugs. I get to play the hero,” Chanhee confessed with a playful smile on his face. He skipped around the kitchen to reach for the fruit bowl again and Mrs. Kang laughed. “They might just start liking me if they knew how much I helped Hwi.”

 

“Well, if you somehow manage to convince his parents to enjoy your company, tell me and I’ll invite them for dinner. Don’t get caught in your lie. Also, remember to drop off Hwiyoung’s backpack before you get to the front door. You wouldn’t want them suspecting anything.”

 

“Love you, mama,” Chanhee said with a kiss on the cheek before tugging Hwiyoung towards the door.


	9. Bad Boy Like You

“Remember the story?” Chanhee asked.

 

“Yeah, yeah, are you sure this is going to work?” Hwiyoung asked nervously bouncing from foot to foot. 

 

“I’ve gotten away with worse before and you know it. Come on,” Chanhee said pulling Hwiyoung’s arm around his shoulders. “Make your limping look realistic. A lot of people make the mistake of being too dramatic about it. Don’t be that person."

 

Hwiyoung let his head hang a little and put most of his weight on Chanhee like he was told to. He moved his feet enough to keep him up but otherwise acted if he was in slight pain. Chanhee walked up to the front door and rang the bell three times before the door opened.

 

“Youngkyun! Youngkyun!” his mother said as she pushed Chanhee to the side. Hwiyoung heard a loud thump as the younger boy’s body hit the wall from the harsh shove. He made sure to keep acting, though, letting his mother shift his arm over her shoulders and drag him to the couch. He watched as Chanhee slowly made his way into the house after taking his shoes off. He looked awkward, after all he hadn’t been in Hwiyoung’s house apart from his room in quite a while. “What happened to you? Kang Chanhee! What did you do to my child you sad excuse for a-”

 

“Mother! Mother!” He called. “Chanhee didn’t hurt me or anything. He helped me, actually,” he said truthfully, just with completely different intentions. 

 

“I demand to know what happened immediately!”

 

“I found him in-”

 

“Not from you,” his mother said harshly, turning away from Chanhee. She sat by Hwiyoung’s side and cradled his head in her lap. “Goodness, you look horrible. What in God’s name happened to you?”

 

“I snuck out last night to go bowling with some classmates,” he lied easily, the words spilling over his tongue as if he was telling the truth. “On my way home, a group of guys cornered me. They took my wallet. I didn’t have much on me though, so it’s fine.” The lie came easier to him than he had expected. The two of them had rehearsed the story so many times on the way here that it was almost like it had actually happened. “Chanhee found me in the alley earlier this morning. I must have been asleep because he carried me to his house and I slept there for a few hours. He gave me the bandages and stuff. Mom, I’m so sorry for sneaking out!” 

 

Every word that came out of his mouth was a lie. He wasn’t the least bit sorry for sneaking out yet he had to pretend that he was. His mom wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him closer to her. He bit his lip and clenched his jaw in her embrace. He didn’t like her touch because it felt fake.

 

“How could this happen? Oh my poor Youngkyun. I’m so thankful that you are alright I was so worried about you. Please don’t scare me like that again,” she rambled on.

 

Chanhee coughed in the corner of the room, clearly awaiting a merit of some sort.

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Kang, but I have nothing to offer you other than my thanks. We do not give money to the poor like you so please, be on your way.”

 

“Mother!”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

The two boys sat and stood in shock at what his mother had just said. Chanhee fumbled around for words while his mother waited for him to leave.

 

“Chanhee has never asked for money. Why does it matter how much money he has, anyways? He wasn’t expecting any. He just helped me, the least you could do is give him a proper thanks,” Hwiyoung spat. 

 

“Oh, Youngkyun. People like him are only friends with people like you for one reason, money or benefits.”

 

“I never wanted any money, ma’am. I’m sorry for being such a burden. It’s good to know that your son is alright,” Chanhee said with a quick bow before walking out of the door. His mom looked proud of herself.

 

“He is my friend, you know. He has helped me a lot. Did you have to be so rude?” His mother ignored his comment and sat by his side.

 

“I don’t care who you think your friends are, Youngkyun. You need to focus on school. I don’t want you sneaking out to see your classmates anymore. In fact, I don’t want you sneaking out at all. Focus on school. You’ll realize that after you become successful, people like him won’t matter to you anymore.”

 

He will always matter to me, he thought. Hwiyoung knew for a fact that he would never cast Chanhee to the side. Chanhee was his best friend, and not for his money or school record. 

 

“Yes, mother,” he lied. He didn’t want to hear anymore. He would just clench his fists and let her get her way. After all, he was used to doing that wasn’t he? Just letting other people get their way.

 

♦️

 

Hwiyoung shot up in bed when he heard the ladder falling against the wall outside his room. Who was sneaking into his room on a sunday night? It was hard to tell anymore, with everybody knowing about the secret way into his room. He looked down at his chest to confirm that he had a shirt on. He prefered sleeping shirtless, but the recent events had convinced him to start sleeping with a shirt on.

 

Hwiyoung swung himself out of his bed and opened the window. Jaeyoon was halfway up his ladder with Sanghyuk behind him and Taeyang at the bottom. 

 

“Be very, very quiet,” he ordered them. “I got yelled at two days ago for sneaking out. I don’t wanna get caught again.” Jaeyoon nodded as he made his way into Hwiyoung’s room carefully. Sanghyuk followed him with a goofy smile and Taeyang came in last with a smile that could have brightened the whole room.

 

“Hey so, Tae’s stage was Thursday, right? It’s not too early to do another one is it? Because tonight is the perfect night for what I want to do!” Jaeyoon explained in a whisper. 

 

“Just promise me that I will be back early enough to not get caught.” Jaeyoon promised him that he would. Hwiyoung looked at what everyone was wearing. They all seemed to be dressed in either sweatpants or jeans with hoodies and sweaters. “I take it this is an outdoor thing?” Jaeyoon nodded.

 

“Hwi…” Hwiyoung turned his head to face Taeyang who looked worried. Taeyang’s eyes were glossed over and his lip stuck out in an unintentional pout. “What happened? Your face, and- and your knuckles?” Hwiyoung brought his hands up so he could see them. The blood was gone but the red marks and scratches weren’t. 

 

“Oh, yeah. It’s nothing, really. Just those stupid brothers from school-”

 

“What happened?” Taeyang asked grabbing his hand. Hwiyoung frozen as Taeyang lifted his hand up to look at the cuts and scrapes. The blonde boy didn’t even seem to realize how Hwiyoung had reacted. 

 

“Uh- uhm. They just, uhm, it’s not important,” Hwiyoung siad through an emrassed cough. Taeyang dropped his hand immediately. 

 

“I’m sorry! Are you… are you still okay with us touching you?” Hwiyoung nodded. 

 

“I’ve changed my mind,” Jaeyoon stated pacing towards him. “Screw the third stage of life. Where do these brothers live? I think we should pay them a visit.” Hwiyoung smiled at the pink haired boy.

 

“Really guys, I’m fine,” Hwiyoung assured them. “So what is this stage of life?” 

 

Jaeyoon refused to tell him. Apparently the only other person that knew was Juho who was getting the college trio. Hwiyoung’s new job was to call Chanhee and get him to the bus stop by Hwiyoung’s house. 

 

“Hwiyoung! Is everything okay?”

 

“Everything is fine. I promise. I just-”

 

“I was worried because of your parents and like, yeah I know we talked yesterday over the phone but I just wanted to make sure you’re still ready to go to school tomorrow.”

 

“Chanhee, please. I’m fine. Absolutely fine. Sanghyuk, Tae, and Jaeyoon are here. It’s-”

 

“Are you kidding me? Your mom just told you not to sneak out again!” 

 

“Meet at the bus stop by my house?”

 

“... Fine.” 

 

On the walk to the bus stop, Sanghyuk and Jaeyoon lead while Taeyang and Hwiyoung trailed behind them. Taeyang, much to Hwiyoung’s surprise, kept his distance.

 

“I’m fine,” he confirmed again. “You don’t have to walk ten feet apart because of what happened. I’m used to you being so much more energetic and close,” he admitted.

 

“What did they do to you? I mean, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but I want to know what those bastards did to you this time.” Hwiyoung sighed and looked at his knuckles again.

 

“The knuckles are from me. I banged them against the walls pretty hard after the brothers left. The scratches on my face are from the pavement. The first brother didn’t do much, he just threatened me about my spot in class again. The second brother, uhm. He…. uhm,” Hwiyoung couldn’t find the word to finish his sentence. Why didn’t he want to tell Taeyang what happened? He told Chanhee just fine. 

 

“Just list off the places he touched you. You don’t have to say what he did, I just want to know where.” Hwiyoung nodded.

 

“Shoulders.” He looked at his bruises. “Wrists.” He thought about being pinned down. “Hair.” He thought about about the kisses. “Chest. Waistline. Neck. Cheeks. Scrapes. Ears.” He thought about his attempts to push him away. “Hips. And… that area.”

 

“Hwiyoung, what the fuck? What the fuck man?” Taeyang actually looked like he was about to cry. He sounded like it too. “How could someone do that to you? How could someone touch you like that time after time and never realize what they did was wrong?” Hwiyoung looked at him. Taeyang was avoiding his eyes. He had his body angled away from him and looking like he was wiping away a tear. Did he really mean that much to Taeyang that just hearing about what happened could make him this sad? 

 

Hwiyoung reached his hand out and grabbed Taeyang’s with his own. He entwined their fingers and patted the back of Taeyang’s hand with his other one. 

 

“I’m fine, well, emotionally scarred, but fine. I am still fine with physical contact because I know you guys would never hurt me. Don’t worry about me. Chanhee is gonna protect me at school. I won’t run into them without him again. The school year is almost over anyways.” Taeyang nodded and leaned his head onto Hwiyoung’s shoulder. 

 

All five of them, including Chanhee, rode the bus together to some location they weren’t allowed to know. Juho would ride a different bus with the trio, apparently. 

 

It didn’t take long for Jaeyoon to command the rest of them to get off and when they did, Hwiyoung had no idea where he was. He wasn’t even sure they were still in Ansan at this point. It didn’t look like the city anymore. Juho was leaning against the wall of a building nearby with the trio around him when Jaeyoon called them over. 

 

“Okay, we have to walk a little bit from here,” Jaeyoon said and he tugged Juho with him to lead the way to their mystery location. As usual, Hwiyoung fell to the back of the line with Taeyang by his side. Nobody talked. It was either everybody was too tired to think of conversation to make, or nobody had anything to say. There were no cars driving down the streets and the silence was becoming unbearable.

 

“This is boring,” Seokwoo commented with the camera open in his hands. He pointed the camera at Jaeyoon and waited for the boy’s response.

 

“Do you want me to make it interesting?” Jaeyoon asked over his shoulder. Seokwoo nodded. “Okay, then let’s play a game. It’s simple. Someone makes a bet against another person. If the person making the bet is wrong, they have to take a shot when we get to our location.”

 

“I’m confused.”

 

“Hwiyoung is underaged!”

 

“Chanhee is also underaged!”

 

“I think we all know that Chanhee doesn’t give two shits.” Everyone started laughing at Inseong’s last comment Chanhee held his shoulders high and proud.

 

“Fine, others will take Hwi’s shot for him. Nobody else gets any exceptions though!” Jaeyoon explained.

 

“I’m still confused,” Chanhee admitted.

 

“Okay, then I’ll go first,” the pink haired boy offered. “I bet Youngbin has screamed the wrong name during sex.”

 

Seokwoo turned the camera to Youngbin and everyone stopped walking to watch as his face turned a bright shade of red. Chanhee burst out into laughter and Juho snickered from the front. 

 

“Who the fuck told you that?” Youngbin yelled in embarrassment and everyone broke into laughter again. 

 

“Probably Seokwoo,” someone whispered.

 

“Mommy knows all of daddy’s little secrets.”

 

“Would you stop with that?!” 

 

“My turn! My turn!” Sanghyuk said jumping up and down as they continued to walk along the sidewalks. “I bet Inseong has flirted his way out of getting a speeding ticket.” All heads turned to the smirking boy.

 

“Nope! Drink up buttercup!” Sanghyuk swore under his breath and Jaeyoon patted his back. “You were close. I have cried myself out of a ticket before, but never flirted.” 

 

“I’m going next,” Juho declared. “I bet Tae has pretended to be someone else while trying to get some ass.”

 

“That was one time god damnit!” 

 

“What the fuck Tae?”

 

“No! No, listen!” Taeyang argued. He placed a hand on Hwiyoung’s shoulders and turned to the group. “I might have been a little drunk and this guy was super hot like, top 20 of 2018 hot and so I pretended I was an idol trainee named Lee Jisung.” Hwiyoung held back a laugh and Taeyang looked offended. “Don’t laugh at me!” he yelled before everyone started laughing as loud as they could. 

 

“Did it work?” Chanhee asked. 

 

“He believed me but I didn’t get the booty.”

 

“Okay, alright I’ve got one,” Inseong said as he made sure the camera was on him. “I bet Juho has been in handcuffs for something before.” Half of the group complained about his bad bet and the other half snickered. 

 

“Wait,” Juho said with a sly smirk. “For what reasons? Like, criminal reasons or kinky reasons?” Jaeyoon shoved his friend against the wall and Juho let out a high pitched laugh. Inseong laughed and grabbed the camera from Seokwoo to get a better picture. 

 

“Kinky reasons!” Inseong decided.

 

“Dammit,” Juho admitted. “You got me there.” 

 

“Come on man! I didn’t need to know that!” Jaeyoon complained.

 

“Nice.”

 

“I was under the impression that this was a group of innocent souls!” Chanhee said with a smirk. “This is so much more fun now. Can I go next? I bet Seokwoo has gotten off on Anime porn before.”

 

“Anime? No,” Seokwoo said with a smile. “You could have guessed literally anything else, though.”

 

“Seokwoo! Come on!” Youngbin said disgusted. “Isn’t our professor supposed to watch this stuff?”

 

“Just edit it out!” Taeyang called out. 

 

“I have one!” Hwiyoung called out. “I bet Sanghyuk has been to a sex shop for toys before.”

 

“Hwi!”

 

“I thought you were innocent what the fuck?” 

 

“Well at least Hwi won’t have to take a shot,” Sanghyuk admitted. Jaeyoon backed up in disgust and Youngbin slapped the back of his shoulder. 

 

“New topic, new bet,” Taeyang announced. “Chanhee, I bet you’ve sexted the wrong person before.”

 

“Drink up, loser,” Chanhee announced with a smile. “I’m a bad boy but in the crime and gangster way not the fuckboy way.” Juho laughed at the front of the line at Chanhee’s mention of himself being a bad boy.

 

“Okay, how about I bet Jaeyoon has given a lap dance before,” Seokwoo said placing his bet with confidence. 

 

“You got me,” Jaeyoon admitted with a shy smile. 

 

“Wait… Jaeyoon… you?” Inseong asked in disbelief. His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head. Jaeyoon turned around to see Inseong and winked at him. Everyone screamed and laughed as Inseong dramatically held his hand to his forehead and fainted like the star of an old movie. 

 

“I’ll just put it out there that I’m a damn good dancer in both senses,” Jaeyoon said as he continued to walk.

 

“You should know,” Chanhee commented to Inseong. “You’ve danced the dance of love with him before, remember?”

 

“So do I get to experience a more…” Inseong trailed off, making Jaeyoon stop walking and turn around to face Inseong as he made it obvious he was checking the boy out, “in depth dance next time?” he finished.

 

“Next time?!” Jaeyoon called out with red cheeks and wide eyes. Inseong winked at him before pulling himself to his feet. 

 

“Okay, this night has barely started and you two are already being gross with each other,” Juho commented waving his hands around as if to clear the air. 

 

“How about this one,” Youngbin started. “I bet Hwiyoung is a virgin.”

 

“Wait! Define virgin!” Jaeyoon called out.

 

“Do I need to? Really? Okay, no sex of any kind. And I’m even willing to take this up a notch. No toys either.” The group stopped walking to look back at Hwiyoung. All eyes were on him and he smiled down at his feet.

 

“Hwi… you can’t be serious,” Inseong mumbled.

 

“What do you want me to say? Virgin, 100%,” he confirmed. Youngbin cheered and jumped up, excitedly kicking out his legs. 

 

“Hwiyoung. This just isn’t possible.” Hwiyoung shrugged at Seokwoo’s comment and pushed the group to continue walking. 

 

“I feel like a bad person now for talking about getting extra booty when you haven’t had any,” Taeyang commented with a giggle. 

 

“Since you’re new to this,” Youngbin called back, “that’s code for he’s got some to spare if you want his.” Taeyang bolted away from Hwiyoung and jumped on Youngbin’s back. He looked like he was going to strangle the old man. 

 

Jaeyoon announced that they had arrived at their destination just short of Taeyang strangling Youngbin to death. The destination was nothing more than a field. The field looked like the grass had been freshly cut for the season so it could be used for games. Jaeyoon smiled at the gang as he ran into the field.

 

“I call this game,” he said, “Tag. You remember playing as kids right? Youngbin’s IT!” he called as he bolted off into the field. Nobody questioned his logic except Youngbin who was suddenly left alone with eight children running away from him screaming. 

 

“I swear to God!” Youngbin called out. “I’m coming for you first!” Youngbin took off into the field and bolted after Jaeyoon at full speed. 

 

“Fuck! Shit!” The pink haired boy screamed as he ran away from the old man as fast as he could. Jaeyoon ran right past Hwiyoung and he had to jump away to dodge Youngbin’s grab as he changed course. 

 

“No!” Hwiyoung called out. “Go after Jaeyoon! Go after Jaeyoon!” He ran over to Chanhee who screamed at him to back off and run the other way. He didn’t. Youngbin ended up catching Chanhee after he tripped and fell on his ass in a panicked attempt at escape. 

 

Chanhee started bolting for Hwiyoung and he ran away as fast as he possibly could knowing that Chanhee was faster than him. He slid to the side in the wet grass and ran to the right. He continued to zig zag in every direction away from his friend, panting for breath. 

 

“Let it go!” he called out.

 

“No way!” Chanhee called back. “I’m faster than you and you know it! How long before you get tired enough for me to catch you?” Hwiyoung sprinted away in a straight line for Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk who were standing around each other. Chanhee ended up tagging Sanghyuk in the process of chasing Hwiyoung, admitting he would take what he could get. 

 

“You fucking backstabbing asshole,” Hwiyoung said to Chanhee after Sanghyuk had taken off after Jaeyoon. They had started to move further and further down the field. 

 

At this point, there were people running everywhere to escape whoever was IT and Hwiyoung wasn’t even sure who was IT anymore. Then he saw Taeyang. And he also saw Seokwoo running away from Taeyang. They were heading in their direction.

 

“Move, move, run, Chanhee shit run!” Hwiyoung called as the two split directions. Seokwoo ended up falling into Chanhee but Taeyang was too far behind to catch either of them. That meant… “Tae, no!” Hwiyoung called out as he sprinted away from the determined boy. “Find someone else! Someone else! Tae!” He continued to scream as he was chased around the field. Taeyang was a fast runner. 

 

Taeyang ended up catching Hwiyoung, but not before they both tripped and fell to the ground. Taeyang landed on top of Hwiyoung, pinning him to the ground. 

 

Taeyang didn’t seem to notice how fast Hwiyoung’s heart was beating. He didn’t seem to notice the flush of heat he could feel in his cheeks or the way his eyes widened. Taeyang just smiled and giggled.

 

“You’re IT,” he said before pushing himself up and sprinting away. 

 

“I hate to call this game off just as it was getting good,” Jaeyoon started. “But the actual third stage of life is ready!” 

 

“Wait, you mean, we were all playing Tag so you could set something up?” Youngbin asked out of breath. Jaeyoon nodded.

 

He didn’t notice until this moment, but Juho had snuck away during the game. Of course, he was in on the setup. While the others had been chasing each other around like elementary school kids, Juho had been setting up blankets in the field. 

 

“We already watched a sunrise,” Taeyang reminded him. 

 

“I don’t want to watch a sunrise. I want to sleep under the stars.” It wasn’t until now, either, that Hwiyoung noticed the sky. They really weren’t in the city anymore. The stars which were always hidden by the city lights, were completely visible in this field. The sky looked amazing.

 

“But didn’t we do that last week?” Sanghyuk asked. 

 

“No, we all fell asleep after the sun had risen making us all late for everything. I want to fall asleep under the stars while the sky is still dark. It’s kinda warm out today and the sky is clear. I have everything set up, including an alarm so that none of us sleep past 4:30.” Everyone seemed to be on board with Jaeyoon’s plan. He had blankets set up and everything, perfect for sleeping under the stars. “I don’t care who sleeps where. I tried to bring enough though. I had to come here earlier to drop them off so it was more about how many I could carry on the bus. There is one for Hwi and Tae, another for Inseong and I, another for Seokwoo and Youngbin, and two more for whoever. Knock yourselves out.”

 

Hwiyoung kicked his shoes off by one of the blankets and fell back with a content sigh. He held his head up with his arms behind it and stared at the sky. He looked to his side and watched as Taeyang kicked his own shoes off next to Hwiyoung’s. He took a seat on the blanket and stared up at the sky by his side. 

 

Something he had never told anyone, not even Chanhee, was that he loved stars. He loved being able to see them and find them. When he was younger, he had had an astronaut phase which his parents had let him live through. He knew a lot about stars and their positions in the sky that he remembered from back then. 

 

He looked over to the boy by his side and waited for Taeyang to see his gaze. When he did, he smiled. 

 

“Do you know anything about the stars?” Hwiyoung asked. Taeyang shook his head no and Hwiyoung broke out with a big smile. “Do you want to?” Taeyang smiled back at him and shook his head like an excited puppy. 

 

When they were both looking at the sky, Taeyang moved his arm under Hwiyoung’s head and he pretended his stomach didn’t flip at the action. He shifted his body to cuddle up against Taeyang and pointed to a spot in the sky. He tried to point as accurately as he could to a bright star. 

 

“Do you see that star? It’s really bright.” Taeyang squinted his eyes and searched the sky with his eyes. 

 

“Yes! I think so,” he admitted. 

 

“That’s Nunki. It’s one of the stars that make up the constellation for Sagittarius, the zodiac sign. If you look at the stars around it,” he said tracing the shape with his finger tip, “it kind of looks like a teapot.”

 

“I see a bunch of stars around it, but I don’t really see a teapot shape,” Taeyang said sadly.

 

“Okay, then do you see that shape?” Hwiyoung asked pointing to another spot in the sky. “It kind of looks like the ladle of the big dipper. If you look, the stars above it connect and then go to the right like a water spout. It goes down again and then it goes back up,” Hwiyoung continued, tracing the pattern with his fingers. 

 

“I… think so? Wait, Yes! Like a snake!” Hwiyoung nodded and smiled at Taeyang. 

 

“Yeah! That’s Draco. It’s supposed to be a dragon that guarded a garden of this god named Hesperides. It’s like the biggest star constellation.”

 

“This is so cool! Show me another one!” Taeyang said moving his arm to cup Hwiyoung’s shoulder. He snuggled closer to him without a second thought. 

 

“Okay, hmm, what about that star? It’s pretty bright,” he said pointing to another star in the sky. Taeyang hummed to himself as he searched for the star. He lifted his hand up to point at the sky. 

 

“That one?” he asked. Hwiyoung moved his face closer to Taeyang’s so he could see from his perspective. 

 

“Yes!” he said smiling at the boy whose face was now bright red. He chose to ignore whatever he had just done and blame everything on the need to find the star. “That’s Altair,” he continued. “If you look around it, it makes up the left leg of a triangle.” He traced the figure again and watched as Taeyang’s eyes followed his fingers. “That constellation is named Aquila. I think it translates to ‘The Eagle.’” Taeyang nodded, completely immersed in the stars again. 

 

“One more!” Taeyang ordered. Hwiyoung grinned. 

 

“Alright. Keep your eyes on Altair, the star. If you move your eyes upward, just a little bit, you might be able to see Vulpecula. It’s really faint so it’s hard to see, but it reminds me of Inseong because it translates to ‘Little Fox.’”

 

“The one with the bright stars?” Taeyang asked.

 

“Nope, it’s actually around all of the bright stars which is why it’s so hard to see.”

 

“I didn’t know you were such an astrology nerd,” Taeyang commented, turning his head to smile at him. Hwiyoung buried his face into Taeyang’s side and listened to his laugh. “It’s cute.” He buried his head farther. “You’re cute.”

 

“I can actually feel you watching me. I’m embarrassed, go away,” Hwiyoung ordered. Taeyang laughed again and wrapped his other arm around Hwiyoung.

 

“Goodnight Hwi,” Taeyang whispered as he made himself comfortable. 

 

“Goodnight, Tae.”

 

Taeyang fell asleep first. For some reason, Hwiyoung chose to blame Taeyang as the reason he couldn’t fall asleep. He heard Youngbin mumbling a bit and he heard Chanhee groan after he laid on a rock. He also heard Inseong and Jaeyoon talking.

 

“Have you ever seen so many stars before?” Jaeyoon had asked in a very sleepy voice. 

 

“No. They’re beautiful,” Inseong had replied.

 

“I don’t wanna go to sleep because when I wake up they won’t be there anymore.” He might have mistaken the sound, but he could have sworn he heard one of them kissing the other, most likely on the forehead due to the lack of reaction.

 

“But I’ll be here when you wake up. And I don’t need those stars,” Inseong had said with a pause as the blankets shifted. “I have you, and you’re my star.”

 

♦️

 

“Wake up,” a voice called out to him. Was it maybe Youngbin? He was still too asleep to tell. He reached his hands up to rub at his eyes before slowly opening them little by little. The sky was still a deep shade of blue with stars high and bright. “Wake up,” he called again. It was Youngbin.

 

He heard Taeyang groan to his side before he felt the boy’s arm pull him closer to his chest. He might have cared if he was any bit awake right now, but he wasn’t, and he decided that he didn’t care. He picked up his arm and wrapped it around Taeyang’s waist and buried his head farther into his chest. Taeyang was warm. Taeyang was comfortable. 

 

“Woah, you two look comfortable,” he heard Inseong say with a few laughs behind him. He picked his hand up to flip them off. “Do you two have anything to say to the camera about your love life so far?”

 

He felt Taeyang’s hand leave his back as he jumped backwards away from the blonde haired boy. He was awake now and he was aware of the snickers pointed towards the two of them. He watched as Taeyang got up and pushed Inseong backward lazily. He stumbled a little before plopping right back onto the blanket. Chanhee made his best effort to pull Hwiyoung to his feet as they departed for home. 

 

He missed most of the bus ride because he was asleep. He noticed when his eyes started drifting shut and when his head tipped to the side but he told himself he would keep himself awake anyways. It didn’t work. Someone ended up carrying him on their back. He couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough to figure out who, though. Whoever it was had well built shoulders, smooth hair, and a nice cotton sweater. Warm, he thought. 

 

He didn’t remember walking home, in fact, he didn’t even remember getting off of the bus. All he knew was that he woke up in his bed to the sound of his alarm going off. He shot out of bed, feeling the sleepiness hang over him like a thick blanket. His shoes were kicked to the side of the room and his sweater was discarded onto the floor. How had he gotten up the ladder? 

 

“How did you sleep, Youngkyun?” his mother asked as he stumbled his way downstairs. He gave her his best smile and grabbed a piece of toast. American style? It tasted good. 

 

“I slept great,” he said with a hopefully trustworthy looking smile. His father nodded his head towards the empty chair at the table. He never liked staying for breakfast. His parents never made him and he was grateful that he could just leave in the morning without a lecture or talk from them. His father telling him to sit kind of scared him. He grabbed another piece of toast to fill the silence.

 

“Youngkyun, do you know what I do at my job?” He nodded. 

 

“You manage everything around your company. You make the biggest decisions and you hold all of the meetings.” His father nodded at his description. It was hard to tell if his father was just considering what he had said or if he agreed, he just assumed the latter to make himself feel better. He took another bite of his toast to give him something to do besides sit awkwardly.

 

“After school ends, I think you should start working with me.” Hwiyoung was afraid of that. He knew his father wanted him to work with him. Hell, it had been his goal to make Hwiyoung into the perfect son since his birth. He had grown up wearing collared shirts and shined shoes. Everything he had learned as a child was about responsibility and the etiquette of being in public. His dad used to tell him stories about work, telling him that someday he would get to experience them as well. It was like a family line of business that Hwiyoung wanted absolutely no part of. He had no idea what he wanted to do, but he knew for sure that he had no interest in running a company and making executive decisions. He had always been into space, so maybe there was something there. He was interested in the production of music, and maybe even movie production. Detectives and the police force fascinated him. He wanted to do what he wanted, but he didn’t exactly know what that was yet. He knew for a fact, however, that he didn’t want his future at all involved in his dad’s company. 

 

“Yes, father,” he agreed weakly. God, why was he so weak? Why couldn’t he speak up for himself? He couldn’t seem to speak for himself in any situation and he hated it. Why couldn’t he just tell them the truth? Why couldn’t he just scream or yell. He felt like his conscious was banging at the bars locking him deep inside his own brain. Let me out the little voice yelled, let me out! 

 

“Just remember to keep your grades up. Staying at the top of the class is important for my colleagues to view you as a respectful businessman. It’ll make you look stronger and more fitted for the position.”

 

“Yes, father.” 

 

“That’s why I was thinking,” his mother began, “maybe you should stop speaking to that bad influence you call your friend. You will learn in life that only your equals are-”

 

“Chanhee is my equal,” he spat out. He felt his blood boil at the mention of his best friend being lesser than him. “He isn’t a bad influence. He has taught me more about life than anyone else has. He has been kinder to me than anyone I have ever met and he has helped me when nobody else would. He is my equal, and if not then he is better than me,” he finished, placing his napkin on the table as lightly as he could. He pushed the chair out and stood up. “Excuse me,” he mumbled as he reached for his backpack. “I can’t be late for school. Wouldn’t want to lose my place as first in the class and disappoint your colleagues.” 

 

To put it lightly, Hwiyoung kind of hated himself. It had nothing to do with the life he lived because, despite all the bad aspects of his life, he had always appreciated the good he was given. It was himself. He hated himself. Why couldn’t he stand up for himself? Why was it so hard to just tell everybody what he was really feeling? Nobody understood, nobody knew. Nobody but Chanhee knew how bad his days were at school with the twins. Why was it so hard to just fight back? Why was it so hard to tell an adult that could help him. Why couldn’t he just tell his parents he didn’t want to be top of his class anymore? Why couldn’t he tell his father that he didn’t want to work at his company? What the hell was he so afraid of? He couldn’t even stand up for his own friend when his parents talked bad about him. He couldn’t tell them he loved Chanhee or that Chanhee was a better person than either of them had ever been to him. What was he so scared would happen? What could possibly make him hate himself any more? 

 

“Hwi, you good? You look kind of sad.” Chanhee had a smile on his face. Chanhee was happy. He wanted to be happy too.

 

“Why can’t I tell anyone?” he asked vaguely. Chanhee tilted his head to the side and walked more towards him. “I can’t seem to stand up for myself. I let everybody walk all over me. Everyone tells me what to do, tells me how my life should pan out, and who I should and should not let into my life. Why can’t I tell anyone that I want to make my own choices? I don’t want to be top of the class, I don’t want to work at my father’s company, I don’t want to stop seeing you, I don’t want to see the brothers again.”

 

Chanhee placed a hand on his shoulder and led him down the road to the bus stop. He patted his shoulder and rubbed his back in comforting circles.

 

“You’ll tell everyone when you’re ready. Just remember, you’re not their welcome mat into life. You’re not the Ken doll in their barbie houses. You’re a living, breathing, human being, just like them.”

 

Chanhee was right. He just had to stand up for himself. He had to live his own life. Who cared what everybody else wanted for him? He was tired of stuffing himself into the same cookie cutter his family provided him with. He wanted to be his own person. He wanted to be who he was, not who everyone thought he was.

 

“Remember when you asked me to call you Hwiyoung?” Chanhee asked as they loaded onto the bus that had pulled up while Hwiyoung was buried in his own thoughts. “It had to have been three years ago, I think. You ran to my house all excited. It was just us two at home. We sat in the sitting room and you told me you picked a nickname for yourself. I remember how stupid I thought it was, to pick your own nickname. But you were so determined. You told me, ‘no, I can pick my own nickname if I want to.’ I can’t even remember where you came up with the name, but I remember the big smile you had on your face when you told me your new nickname. Hwiyoung.”

 

Of course, how could he forget that moment? It had been in his first year of high school. His parents had started pressuring him about everything academically. It had been that year that he spent nights with Chanhee sitting out in that old field, or just walking down the streets. He had poured his heart out to Chanhee when his parents scolded him for getting below a 80 on a test. He had talked with Chanhee when the other kids bullied his friend. It had been a rough few months. 

 

“You told me that you were tired of people yelling at you for being yourself. I remember when you broke down into tears because your mom didn’t want you hanging out with me after school. You always wanted to be yourself, and you were so sad that year because nobody was letting you. You told me that you wanted me to call you Hwiyoung because that name would define you. It was your own name, not one given to you by the people that dictated your life. I think that was actually the first time you made a solid decision for yourself. And you looked so happy. It was your own name.

 

“You didn’t tell anybody at school for an entire year. For an entire year, the people in my family were the only ones allowed to call you by your special nickname. Then your classmates caught on, but by then they had seen the real you. Anybody who didn't know you called you by your real name, but those who took the time to know you, or to even asked for your name, you told them your special nickname. It became your real name. Your parents don’t know, because you don’t think they deserve to. It’s special, really, how you’ve managed to pick out those who do and do not know who you are by simply changing your name.”

 

Hwiyoung. That was his name, not the name given to him at birth, but his own name. It defined him. It was his own decision to distinguish himself apart from the image his parents had built for him. His new name was like an escape from that mold his parents had tried to shove him into all these years. Why had he stopped trying to break out of that mold? He wanted to separate himself from the image his family built for him and yet, all he managed to do was create a wall. It was like himself and Youngkyun were two different people at this point.

 

He remembered the first person to ask for his name. Surprisingly, it had been Minseo, the cashier from FNC. She had confessed that because he came in so often, she was wondering what his name was. She wanted to be able to recognise her regulars better. She was the first person outside of the Kang family to know his nickname. She didn’t know his real name, and she didn’t need to. Hwiyoung was a real enough name for him and it defined him more than Youngkyun ever would. 

 

He could remember the first time Chanhee had slipped up and called him Youngkyun. He had gotten so sad, angry even because he couldn’t escape from that person he hated so much. It was the first time he had really shown his best friend how much the ‘nickname’ meant to him. It wasn’t just a nickname, or a way to escape his parents’ plan for him. His ‘nickname’ was there to remind him that he could be his own person. Those who still called him Youngkyun only continued to remind him that he could never change, that he couldn’t be who he wanted to be. Chanhee had never slipped up again. 

 

“Remember,” Chanhee said. “You made that name yourself. Nobody told you to do that, you did it on your own. I know you want to be your own person. Take your time though. Everybody becomes their own person in their own time.”

 

The bus stopped. Hwiyoung looked out the window to see the school ahead of him. One more month. He had one more month until he would be dragged to work with his father under the name Youngkyun. That meant he only had one more month to become his own person. 

 

“Fuck,” Chanhee whispered. “Other way. Other way. Turn around. Back hallway, now.”

 

“Fuck,” Hwiyoung whispered as he turned around to follow Chanhee. 

 

“Where are you two going?” he called. “Don’t be like that, we only wanted to say hello!”

 

“Here’s the plan,” Chanhee whispered. “Stay closer to Thing Two if you have to get near any of them. He won’t do anything unless Thing One tells him too. But stay behind me unless you can’t avoid it.” Chanhee turned around and put on his nicest smile for the brothers. They were in the open hallways. They wouldn’t do anything out in the open like this, would they?

 

“Kang and Kyun, the Dynamic Duo,” Sungmin taunted. “It’s so nice-”

 

“I didn’t expect to run into you out in the open like this,” Chanhee bit back. He held his hand out slightly in front of Hwiyoung like a protective wall. He held his shoulders up high, as if to make himself look bigger.

 

“What do we have to lose? We just wanted to check up on our friend. Kyun, how are you-”

 

“He isn’t your friend,” Chanhee bit back. “So get lost.” There was a crowd. Of course there was a crowd, they were arguing in the publicly used hallways. Everybody wanted to know what was going on. There was a group of girls behind the brothers creating a wall around them. A mix of boys and girls stood to the sides of the halls and another group of people stood behind the two of them. There was no way out of this circle of students without pushing and shoving. He felt like he was trapped with his biggest fear in the eyes everyone who knew him.

 

“You don’t get to decide who his friends are, Kang. Kyun, are we your friends?”

 

“No. Get lost,” Hwiyoung bit back. The girls around them ooed and three guys to the side started whispering to each other. They cupped their hands to the others’ ears as if the subject of their whispering wasn’t obvious. Some girls held their phones up to record videos. 

 

“You looked a little hurt after that fall last week. We just wanted to make sure you were alright.” How could nobody else see it? Was everyone really that oblivious to the smirk Sungmin had sprawled across his face. Did nobody sense the sarcasm or the pride in his voice as he spoke. Was everyone really that blind?

 

“You-” Hwiyoung kicked Chanhee’s leg. People watching. People watching. People watching. “He’s fine. I made sure to take care of him, unlike a certain pair of brothers.” He could see his friend’s hands balled into fists at his side. 

 

“I tried to take care of him,” Sungwoo said taking a step forward. Hwiyoung took a step back. “But he wouldn’t let me finish.”

 

“I swear to god!” Chanhee yelled launching forward. Hwiyoung reached out for his friend’s wrist but it was too late. Chanhee swung his arm and punched Sungwoo across the face. The boy screamed as he fell to the ground and Chanhee kicked him before he himself fell to the ground. Sungmin had hit him across the back of his head with his bag. 

 

“Chanhee!” Hwiyoung called racing forward. Screw the people watching, he thought as he ripped his backpack off of his shoulders and swung it at Sungmin’s head. Sungmin pushed it back at him and slammed him to the ground next to his friend.

 

“Do you two never stop? Really, Kyun? This is your bodyguard? This boy? Do you actually feel safe with this kid by your side? He couldn’t protect you if he tried,” Sungmin spat. He kicked Chanhee in the stomach and Chanhee yelped with a groan. Why wasn’t Hwiyoung moving to help? Why wasn’t he fighting back? “Look at him! Is this your protection?”

 

“Fucker,” Chanhee mumbled, followed by another blow to the stomach. 

 

“You try so hard,” Sungmin spat at him. “You try to make everyone think you can be tough. You get everyone thinking you’re such a bad boy with your dyed hair and your distant looks but you are nothing more than an overconfident child. You can’t protect shit. You can’t help shit. What even are you at this point? You say you’re a bad boy but you’re really not. You’re just garbage.”

 

The bell rang. Everyone left. The girls walked away with their videos and the boys walked away with their whispers. The brothers walked away and so did the drifters who stuck around for the show. They were left alone in the hallways. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Hwiyoung whispered. “I should have helped you. I-” His throat closed up. His mouth hung open and his hands froze on the tiled floor below him.

 

Chanhee was crying.

 

“Chanhee…”

 

“They were right. Why the fuck do you feel safe with me?” His voice cracked as he brought his arm up to his eyes. “Why?!” he yelled. “They were right. I’m not a bad boy. I can’t protect you. Hwi I-”

 

“They didn’t touch me,” Hwiyoung cut him off. “If it weren’t for you, they would have put their hands all over me and threatened me, but they didn’t. They didn’t because you were there to protect me.” He reached his arm out to Chanhee and pulled his friend into his lap. He didn’t care if the orange haired boy soaked his shirt in his tears. “I’m safe because I had my personal bodyguard to protect me. I’m safe because my bad boy was here to scare off the mean guys. God, what would I do without a bad boy like you?”


	10. Black Ties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to everyone supporting this fic! It means a lot to me and thank you for leaving such nice comments. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

“Do you ever fuck the hell off?” Hwiyoung snapped as he walked down the Hallway. 

 

“I find your company enjoyable,” Sungwoo admitted running in front of Hwiyoung. The boy almost tripped over his own two feet in the process. 

 

“Where’s your boss?” Hwiyoung asked annoyed as he turned around to walk the other way.

 

“Boss? Boss- Oh! Sungmin! Sungmin isn’t my boss, hey!” Sungwoo ran in front of him again and Hwiyoung rolled his eyes before turning around again. “Sungmin isn’t in charge of me. I just came to use the little boy’s room. Pleasant surprise to see you here.”

 

“I saw you following me on my way down the hall,” Hwiyoung stated as he picked up his pace. 

 

“Fine,” Sungwoo said pushing him into the wall roughly. “Where’s your bad boy?” 

 

“Finishing a makeup assignment in his class. I should have just waited in my own classroom but I couldn’t stand Taehyung and Hyejin making out in the corner anymore,” Hwiyoung told him. “Are you happy now, can I go?”

 

“No,” Sungwoo said with a smile. He trapped Hwiyoung in between his arms but Hwiyoung just ducked under them. He started walking down the hallway again but Sungwoo pushed him into the wall again. The boy held his arm under his chin and pressed hard. “I thought we could spend some quality time together today. I’m surprised your bad boy is even here today. Didn’t see you walk in with him.”

 

“Fuck… Ah! Fuck off!” Hwiyoung choked out. He saw dark spots around his eyes and scraped his lungs for extra air. 

 

“I was a little disappointed,” Sungwoo said lowering his arm. “I didn’t get to finish taking care of you.” Hwiyoung gasped for breath and gathered up what little spit he could scrape off his tongue and spat in the boy’s face. “You’re in a bad mood today, I get it,” Sungwoo said wiping the spit off of his face with his free arm. “But so am I. I thought maybe we could help cheer each other up, what do you say?” Sungwoo asked tilting his head to the side like a curios puppy.

 

“I said it before and I’ll say it again, fuck off.”

 

“I heard a funny story yesterday, after our fight. Do you want to know what it was?” Hwiyoung didn’t respond. “Well, I heard these kids. They were talking about ‘the mighty battle’ between the brothers, Chanhee, and Hwiyoung.” Sungwoo laughed to himself for a moment before pressing harder on Hwiyoung’s throat again. “You see, I was a little confused at first because I never fought with a kid named Hwiyoung. But then I realized.” He walked his fingers up Hwiyoung’s chest slowly. His eyes lifted up from his chest to meet his own. “You’re Hwiyoung.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lied. “Check the records if you want, my name is Youngkyun.” 

 

“No,” Sungwoo said with another deep laugh. “No, I know your legal name is Youngkyun. But then I thought about it a little more and I realized, I’ve never heard anyone close to you call you by your real name before. It was such a trivial thing, but now that I think about it.” he pressed harder. “It makes perfect sense.”

 

“Does it now?” Hwiyoung asked is a rasp that was barely above a whisper. 

 

“Do you not like the name Youngkyun? Is it because everyone has always mocked you and idolized you as Youngkyun? Is it because that little girl that gave you chocolates in the eighth grade knew your name and your school record but nothing else? Tell me Hwiyoung, because I’m dying to know, why don’t you like your name?” 

 

“Can’t… breath,” he rasped out. Sungwoo loosened his hold just enough to let him gasp for breath. “Fuck…” he took another deep breath. “Fuck off.”

 

“Let’s be honest with each other,” Sungwoo said grazing the back of his hand against Hwiyoung’s cheek.

 

“You first,” Hwiyoung managed to bite out. He didn’t ask Sungwoo to tell him anything and yet he could see it in his face. Sungwoo had secrets to hide and it was just plain obvious. The way his eyes widened and his arm loosened at the mention of himself telling the truth. Hwiyoung reached his arm up and pushed Sungwoo away from him. “Think about what I said,” Hwiyoung said as he made his way down the hallway. Sungwoo didn’t follow him.

 

♦️

 

“Chanhee…” 

 

Chanhee had come to pick him up from his classroom after his makeup work. He had returned to his classroom as if nothing more than a simple bathroom break had occured. When he heard the door open he lifted his eyes up, but it wasn’t the Chanhee he knew. Something was different, and not just in his appearance. It was the way he stood, with his shoulders slouched down and his head hanging lower. He always had his chin pointed up to make himself look bigger. He looked small now. His arms were crossed over his chest, the way an uncomfortable child would to make themselves feel safe. He could see the difference in the way his eyes drifted around the room rather than landing on any specific thing. But it was far more than just the way he stood, and the way his eyes floated around the room. There was something much more wrong with this picture. 

 

“Chanhee… what happened to your hair?”

 

It was black. 

 

“I just got tired of looking at it in the mirror all the time,” Chanhee shrugged.

 

“But, I thought you liked your orange hair?” He shrugged again.

 

“I did. But,” the boy brought his hand up to scratch at the back of his newly dyed head, “I don’t know. I didn’t want it anymore.” He looked so distant. His head kept turning to look at the windows and doors. His fingers slid over his knuckles like it was a way to distract himself. 

 

Hwiyoung grabbed his backpack and Chanhee’s wrist and pulled him down the hallways. When they got down the first set of stairs he spun him around and they stood face to face. 

 

“What’s up with you?” he asked.

 

“Nothing is up with me. I just wanted a change, that’s all.” 

 

“No,” Hwiyoung told him. “I know you. If you wanted a change, you would have gone for blue, or pink, or I don’t know, maybe even purple just to piss people off.” He watched as Chanhee’s eyes fell to the ground again. “This isn’t about what Sungmin said the other day, is it?” He wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Chanhee, why would you do this to yourself? Why would you make yourself blend in with everybody else? Why-”

 

“I can’t protect you. I’m sorry. I tried, I tried so hard. You said I helped but I know I didn’t. Sungmin was right when he said I wasn’t a bad boy. I’ve been pretending this whole time, making you think you could feel safe around me because I would protect you. What kind of lie… I could never protect you. I figured, might as well blend in with everybody else if in the end I’m just like everybody else.”

 

Hwiyoung reached his hands up to his friend’s shoulders. He let a tear fall down his face. 

 

“These hands? Their mine,” Hwiyoung said as another tear fell onto his cheek. “Kim Hwiyoung. Say it. Kim Hwiyoung.”

 

“Kim Hwiyoung…”

 

“Now do you know why Kim Hwiyoung is here holding onto you? Because you helped him. You fought off the monsters when nobody else would. You told him-” he sniffled and lifted his eyes up to the sky to dry the tears away. “You told him the story about his name yesterday, about how he was becoming his own person.” Chanhee kept his eyes on the ground. “Do you remember when you died your hair orange? I do. You were so excited to stand out in the crowd, to be different from everybody else. You always wanted people to know you were different, that you didn’t fit into the adult’s image of a perfect child. That was your small step towards being your own person. You told me that everyone becomes their own person in their own time. I get that. But Chanhee, your person isn’t with everybody else. Maybe you haven’t become your own person yet, but you never will if you try to blend in with everybody else, because that’s not you.”

 

He watched a tear slide down Chanhee’s cheek and pulled him forward into a hug. He wrapped his arms around the boy and patted his black hair. 

 

“I just-” he pulled his face into Hwiyoung’s shirt, “I’m sorry. I know you’re right. But I hate the looks. Everybody knows I’m lying. So why would I-”

 

“Your appearance doesn’t define you. I won’t look at you any differently with black hair, and neither will any of the group. You can’t determine who a person is by judging their appearance. Who knows, maybe you’ll be even more confident with your black hair. Maybe not. But you need to know that no matter what you look like, your own person isn’t determined by that. Changing your hair color won’t do anything but pull you down, I know that.” Chanhee nodded as he sniffled into his shirt. “How about this? How about after school ends, we go get our hair dyed. Black hair just doesn’t suit us. We can dye our hair any color you want, as long as you stand out in the crowd.”

 

“Your father will be mad,” Chanhee mumbled.

 

“Well then, I guess I better work on becoming my own person before then, right?”

 

Hwiyoung made sure Chanhee’s eyes were dry and unnoticable before they left the school. He made sure his eyes didn’t look puffy or red and he made sure that his friend knew that his hair color didn’t matter. When they got to the gate at the front of the school, he saw their friends waiting. Only, there were a few missing.

 

“Woah! Chanhee! Is that you?” Inseong asked as he ran up to play with Chanhee’s hair.

 

“You look so cool!” Sanghyuk said as he ran up to him to join Inseong in playing with his hair.

 

“You never think about how cool people look with black hair until you realize you’ve never seen them with it before,” Youngbin commented. Hwiyoung smiled at Chanhee and gave him a thumbs up at the positive reaction for his sudden change of appearance. 

 

“Where are Tae and Jaeyoon?” Hwiyoung asked Juho. Juho just smiled and nodded over to Sanghyuk.

 

“Oh, right!” he said running back over to the group with Chanhee’s wrist in his hand. “So, guys, you all know Jaeyoon and Tae go to the same dance school, right?” Everybody nodded. “Well, they are having this big dance performance. It’s like a big end of the year recital the school does to showcase cool dances. The two of them are doing a dance together and they choreographed the entire thing themselves. I haven’t seen it, but they both seemed so excited to practice it when they went to their classes. And I had completely forgotten about the recital until today, because I saw a poster advertising it to people. They didn’t tell anyone! So, I think we should all go see their recital as a big surprise. And you can’t say no because I already bought the tickets!”

 

“Did you ever think,” Seokwoo started, “that maybe they didn’t tell anyone about it because they didn’t want an audience?”

 

“Of course you would be the one to object,” Chanhee commented. “Way to be the mom of the group.”

 

“I said you can’t say no!” Sanghyuk argued. “Guys, this recital is so important to them and I know they didn’t want to invite anyone, but it’s too late. We are inviting ourselves.” The excited boy clapped his hands together and pointed at Seokwoo.

 

“Since you are the mom,” he said moving his finger over to Youngbin, “and you are the dad, I’m sure the perfect job for you guys would be picking out nice clothes for everyone. Seokwoo, I have heard stories from Tae about your strange habit of acquiring clothes you don’t own, so be a darling and pop some fancy suits out of thin air!” Seokwoo rolled his eyes and nodded. 

 

“I need limits here, what kind of event is it?” he asked for clarification. 

 

“It’s a pretty fancy hall. I would feel dumb if I didn't show up in at least a collared shirt. But if you can get full blow tuxedos that would be awesome.” Seokwoo nodded at the boy’s instructions. “And you!” he said pointing to Inseong. “You and you!” he finished moving to point at Hwiyoung. “You two are in charge of getting flowers for your unconfirmed boyfriends. Make sure they are big and beautiful! We need to go all out for this. At least one bouquet for each of us to hold and give to them.” Hwiyoung and Inseong exchanged looks before nodded excitedly. He chose to ignore the ‘unconfirmed boyfriend’ comment. “And lastly, Chanhee, you and Juho will come with me to make restaurant reservations. We will be taking the boys for a special dinner at a fancy restaurant afterwards, so we need to make good reservations. And I’m not good at this whole talking thing, so I need you two to help me.”

 

“No, no,” Chanhee said with a grin. “You’re doing great with this whole talking thing.” 

 

“Fuck off. And let’s go! We only have a few hours!” 

 

♦️

 

“What kind of flowers do you think Jaeyoon would like?” Inseong asked as they walked around the small store. Hwiyoung hadn’t even known this place existed until Inseong told him they were coming here. The small flower shop looked small and possibly family run. It was very beautiful. There were wide windows to let the sun in and flowers dangling from pots and shelves. Flowers of all colors decorated the shop. He had never been to a place like this before but he really liked it. 

 

“I don’t know,” Hwiyoung said truthfully. “I’ve known him for as long as you have. Maybe all sorts of colors? Like, multicolored to represent his multicolored personality.”

 

“That’s surprisingly deep and beautiful,” Inseong commented as he looked at a pot full of red roses. “Since we are making seven different bouquets, do you think it would be so bad if I got Jaeyoon a bunch of red roses?”

 

“Don’t red roses represent love?” Hwiyoung asked walking over to the pot of roses. “Actually, never mind. Forget I asked. Give him a whole bouquet of red roses.” Inseong lightly punched his shoulder and they laughed together. 

 

“What are you going to do for Taeyang?” Inseong asked looking around the flowers. 

 

“I don’t really have a solid idea,” Hwiyoung admitted.

 

“You had the whole walk over here and you couldn’t think of one good color combination?”

 

“You have no room to talk. Sanghyuk said big and beautiful and your biggest idea is red roses,” Hwiyoung confronted with a laugh.

 

“Lots and lots of red roses,” Inseong corrected. “Beautiful to the heart.” He patted himself on his chest and walked over to where Hwiyoung was standing. “What’s your first idea. Like top of your head?”

 

“Maybe yellow?” he questioned. “Because, I don’t know, Tae has always kind of reminded me of the sun. He has a really bright smile and yellow is the color of happiness and sun right?”

 

“Wow,” Inseong said dumbfounded. Hwiyoung gave him a questioning look. “I knew you were in love but oh my God.”

 

“I- I’m not-”

 

“Stop it,” Inseong commanded him. “We been knew. I think it has been obvious, for me anyways, since I showed up at your school during lunch. You don’t seem like the type of person to just dance with anyone.” Hwiyoung coughed and turned to look at the flowers. “Oh look!” Inseong said pointing to the red roses. “You match now!”

 

“Go to hell.” Hwiyoung looked at the yellow roses again before looking at the red roses. “How about we do both red and yellow flowers? He could mix pink and white into the mixes as well. Red, yellow, white, and pink roses with some of the same colored flowers thrown into the bouquets. Then you and I can have special bouquets. You can have one of red and black flowers, which I think would look really nice unless you have any other ideas, and I could have one with yellow and those blueish purple flowers.” He turned to see Inseong’s reaction and was met with a smile.

 

“That actually sounds nice. The bouquets would certainly look beautiful.” Hwiyoung nodded and turned to look at the flowers around him. “But really, do you love Tae?” 

 

“I- what- I mean, what kind of question is that? So random…”

 

“No, seriously though. Call me an overprotective friend, but he’s been my bud since we were kids. I just wanna know.” Hwiyoung nodded and sighed. 

 

“To be honest, I don’t even know what love is. Chanhee told me I’m in love but I don’t really know what that means. I mean, I hear so many stories of people liking their friends but their friends not liking them back, and others who just move on after a few weeks or months. So, to answer your question, I don’t know.” Inseong nodded and turned away to look at the flowers again. “But I do think I like him… a lot. I like spending time with him. I’m comfortable with him. He makes me happy. He’s beautiful, he’s funny, he’s nice, he’s sweet. He has always been so understanding with me and so I don’t know if I would say I love him, but I really like him.” He watched as Inseong smiled out of the corner of his eye. When Inseong turned back to face him, he met him face to face. 

 

“I think Tae really likes you too. I know we make jokes about him flirting with other people, but he hasn’t even eyed a guy on the streets since he met you. He doesn’t talk about the hot ass he sees on the streets anymore either and if that isn’t something, I really don’t know what is.”

 

“What about you?” he asked with his arms crossed.

 

“What? No.”

 

“What? Yes. Your turn. I just poured my heart and soul out to you. Spill.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re expecting,” Inseong stated simply. “I think I’ve made it pretty obvious but I am head over heels for that boy. I’ll say it once, I’ll say it twice, hell, I’ll climb the Tokyo Tower and scream it from there if you want me to. And it wasn’t just the sex, it’s him. The sex was just a perk.” Inseong smiled and lifted his hand to touch a small pink flower that was hanging from a pot by one of the windows. “I have no idea why I like him. I just do. And I swear it’s not just for his looks. There’s just something about him.” Hwiyoung nodded and pulled his wallet out. 

 

“I’ll accept it,” he said with a smile. “Now, let’s get our boys their flowers.”

 

♦️

 

“I’ve never worn anything this fancy in my entire life,” Chanhee said looking at the suits Seokwoo and Youngbin had laid out in front of them. The two boys had come back with white bags filled with freshly pressed suits and ties. Nobody questioned where they got them all, they just kinda of accepted the fact that Seokwoo could get anything if it had to do with clothing. 

 

Right now, they had seven suits plus the two they were wearing. Seokwoo was dressed in a beautifully fitted black suit that was clearly tailored just for him. He had a white collared shirt under the suit with a purple tie to compliment the look. Youngbin was wearing a suit that was a little less fitting, but looked nice on him nonetheless. He wore a similar white collared shirt under his suit with a blue tie. 

 

“Hwi, aren’t you rich? Shouldn’t you own a suit of your own?” Inseong asked confused. He shrugged.

 

“I used to have a suit but it’s too small for me now,” he replied. Seokwoo picked a suit out of the bunch and handed it over to him. 

 

“I didn’t know your exact size,” Seokwoo admitted, “but Sanghyuk gave me enough to go off of from the clothes in your room.”

 

“You snuck into my room and went through my clothes?”

 

“What? No….” Sanghyuk said weakly. “Actually. Yeah. Your parents weren’t home. You should hide your spare key better in the future.” Hwiyoung rolled his eyes and took the suit from Seokwoo’s arms. He held the suit up but it was a little hard to see what it looked like without putting it on. Seokwoo handed a suit to Chanhee next.

 

“I got you a size a little smaller than Hwi so I hope it fits.” Chanhee nodded and held the suit up like it was some sort of foreign object. He supposed that to his friend, it was. Chanhee’s family never had enough money to afford something as expensive as suits. Sure, Mrs. Kang spend a lot of money on clothes so her children could look nice in public, but suits were just something they could not afford. 

 

Sanghyuk led them over to a chicken shop down the street and told the group that they could change in there. Apparently, the shop was owned by Sanghyuk’s family. 

 

“Hyuk, if you’re just here for free chicken again, get the hell out. Mom says you can’t keep getting freebies.” There was a girl at the counter that looked a lot like Sanghyuk. She had her long hair tied in a ponytail and an apron tied around her waist. She must have been his sister.

 

“Like you don’t steal freebies,” Sanghyuk said rolling his eyes. The girl rolled her eyes back, mocking him. “My friends and I just need to-”

 

“You don’t have friends…” the girl said packing another box with fried chicken. Her gloved hands looked filthy as if she had been working on the same job for hours. 

 

“Fuck off Sangeun,” Sanghyuk said walking over to her by the counter. Hwiyoung stood at the front of the group for some unknown reason with Chanhee by his side. He felt too awkward to take a step inside. “We just need to change.”

 

“Are those suits?” she asked looking at the group of boys with suits hung over their arms. “Where did you get suits? What do you even need suits for?”

 

“It’s called none of your business,” he said kissing her head. Sanghyuk turned his head over to Hwiyoung and motioned for him to come in. He nodded nervously and walked up to Sanghyuk. He felt awkward coming into this store for some reason. Maybe it was because he didn’t know Sangeun or maybe it was because of the way Sangeun was looking at him. “Hwi, you can change in the bathroom right there,” he said pointing to a door. 

 

The suit fit him pretty well, to his surprise. He didn’t have a mirror to turn around in front of but the sleeves didn’t hang off of his arms loosely. The sides of the suit hugged his body comfortably. He had to hand it to Seokwoo, the man was a genius with anything relating to fashion. He wrapped the black tie around his collared shirt and tied it like he did with his school uniform every day. 

 

“How does it look?” he asked stepping out of the bathroom. Sangeun made an OK sign with her hand and nodded. Inseong gave him two thumbs up and Seokwoo raced over to spin him around.

 

“It really fits! Woah, Hwi, you look really good in a suit. You should wear a suit more often. Taeyang is going to be drooling when he sees you.”

 

“Okay! Thank you!” Hwiyoung said cutting him off. Inseong changed next and Hwiyoung stood awkwardly in the corner of the small store. 

 

“You look like you’ve never been in a chicken shop before,” Sangeun commented to him. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile. “You’re Hwi, right?”

 

“Hwiyoung,” he corrected her. “But you can call me Hwi anyways.”

 

“That’s a cute name.”

 

“Uh, oh! Uhm… thanks- thank you.” Sanghyuk burst out into laughter in the corner of the room and Hwiyoung sent him a glare. He knew he was awkward but Sanghyuk didn’t need to laugh at him for it. 

 

“Sangeun-” Sanghyuk started, holding his stomach from laughing. “Hwi is gay.” Sangeun’s eyes widened and she looked up at him with red cheeks. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized looking downwards. Sanghyuk continued to laugh. “I- uhm. Sorry. I didn’t know.” Hwiyoung nodded and told her it was okay.

 

“However,” Chanhee said walking forward and leaning on the counter. “I swing both ways. And if you feel my shirt right now you can tell it’s boyfriend material.” 

 

Sanghyuk kicked Chanhee into a table while Sangeun started fanning herself in the corner. Chanhee fell with a thud, knocking over a table in the process, and started laughing.

 

“Don’t flirt with my sister!” Sanghyuk said pulling him up. 

 

“Sanghyuk, really, it’s okay I didn’t mind at all.” Sanghyuk shoved more chicken in front of her. 

 

“Focus on your chicken. Chanhee isn’t boyfriend material, he is just a disaster waiting to happen.”

 

“The disaster has already happened,” Hwiyoung commented as he watched Chanhee pull the table back up. 

 

“You didn’t mind it when I flirted with Hwiyoung!” she argued. Sanghyuk ruffled her hair and she gave him an offended glare. 

 

“That’s because Hwi is a good boy. Chanhee is the exact opposite.”

 

“Shit, I missed the interesting stuff didn’t I?” Inseong asked walking out in a suit identical to Hwiyoung’s. The suit fit him extremely well, but he assumed that was because Seokwoo knew his measurements. He also wore a black tied around his neck to match with Hwiyoung. “Also, why does everyone have different colored ties except Hwi and I? Shouldn’t we have rainbow ties to represent the gay, at least?”

 

“Everyone else has colored ties,” Youngbin explained, “so you and Hwi will stick out with your black ties to impress your boyfriends.”

 

“Unconfirmed boyfriends!” they both argued. 

 

“Yeah, sure, okay.”

 

♦️

 

Chanhee sat awkwardly in his seat, tugging at the collar of his shirt. Hwiyoung had already had to retighten his orange tie and fix the collar of his shirt twice. 

 

“Stop it,” Hwiyoung said pushing his hands into his lap and straightening his collar. 

 

“This is too fancy for me. Hwi, look at this place, I don’t belong at a place like this.” The theater they were in was certainly fancy. There were stone carvings decorating the walls and beautiful velvet curtains hiding the stage. There were lights hanging from the ceiling and balcony seats for reporters and dance instructors. There were hundreds of people here, all dressed in fancy pencil dresses with diamond necklaces and $500 suits and gold rings. 

 

“Just because this place is fancy,” he explained quietly, “doesn’t mean you don’t belong here. You are dressed in a suit and you have just as much right to be here as anyone else.”

 

Chanhee sat to Hwiyoung’s left with Youngbin on the other side of Chanhee. Seokwoo sat next to Youngbin with the camera. Inseong sat to Hwiyoung’s right and Sanghyuk sat on the other side of him. Juho sat next to Sanghyuk arguing about the people they had bumped into on their way here. 

 

“Do you think Yoon and Tae will be mad that we’re here?” Inseong asked him.

 

“No, I don’t think so. Why would they?”

 

“Well… they didn’t tell us about it.” 

 

Hwiyoung was about to respond when the lights dimmed. Inseong no longer had any interest in their conversation and focused his eyes on the stage. They were far enough back that they shouldn’t be noticed, but they were close enough to see the stage clearly. 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Neoz Dance Academy’s 20th annual dance recital. Today, you will see a variety of professional performances, brought to you by our hardworking and passionate dancers. Please enjoy the show tonight, and remember, disks of the recital will be sold outside after the performances. Without further adieu, let’s being the show.”

 

The first dancers were introduced as the Park Triplets. They danced to some classical music with a ballet style. They were very graceful and Hwiyoung enjoyed watching their performance. After them, a group of abou ten guys performed some hardcore hip hop dance. They did a lot of cool poses with glow sticks and light tricks. He could hear Inseong and Sanghyuk cheering over everybody else for them when their performance finished. There were some girls in pink tutus performing something that reminded him of Swan Lake. There was a couple dancing with hula hoops and another couple dancing with some Spanish style of dance. Some younger girls performed a dance with more flips than a gymnastics routine and one guy did a dance with b-boying. 

 

“For our next performance, Lee Jaeyoon and Yoo Taeyang.”

 

Everybody clapped and cheered, but the seven of them were louder than anybody in the theater. They made sure to calm themselves down before the boys came out on stage. 

 

The spotlights flicked on first. Each light followed one of the boys as they walked out from opposite sides of the stage. Hwiyoung felt himself freeze, he couldn’t breathe. There was a very obvious reason the boys did not want the group of them here tonight. 

 

Taeyang walked on the stage with swift, confident steps. He swung his bare arms by his side and angled his eyes intensely at Jaeyoon from across the stage. Loose, silk, black pants hung from his hips and shifted as he walked. The black, fishnet tank top covered his chest and the tops of his shoulders but it was close to useless with the light material and thin holes. He wore a black choker around his neck and his hair was messed up like a professional bedhead. 

 

Chanhee had to elbow him in the ribs before he remembered how to breathe. He did Inseong a favor and elbowed him in the side as well. The boys’ identical clothing made them the center of the stage. They held everybody’s attention. 

 

Without a pause in their steps, they two boys twisted their bodies and reached their hands to find each other's shoulders. The music started immediately and they were moving with every beat of the song. Taeyang moved his body in ways Hwiyoung didn’t know was possible. His steps were so light that it was almost like he was floating across the stage. His arms came above his head and dropped down like the movement was instinct. When he jumped in the air, he spun around and moved like he would never land and when he did, he landed with such elegance like he could never fall. His fingers tapped the air with his movements, counting. Taeyang threw smiles and smirks anywhere he could. He was an expert. He was captivating. Hwiyoung couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

 

When the dance ended, far sooner than Hwiyoung had wanted it to, the crowd erupted into applause. Sanghyuk was standing first. Inseong and Seokwoo followed him. Juho and Youngbin stood up next. Chanhee stood up after them. Hwiyoung stood up last with tears in his eyes. They all cheered and screamed for their friends up on stage.

 

“YOU GO JAEYOON!”

 

“FUCK IT UP TAE!”

 

“ONLY RESPECT FOR MY PRESIDENTS!”

 

“THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND! GO OFF BABE!” Inseong screeched for his boyfriend from the audience.

 

“GREAT JOB TAE! YOU DID AMAZING!” he screamed to Tae. The two boys on stage looked over at the group of them and the look of imminent doom spread over both of their faces. It wasn’t hard to miss them, they were the only ones standing and they were screaming louder than anyone. All seven of them raised their hands to cheer and wave for their friends. The two boys did a quick bow and hurried off of the stage. 

 

♦️

 

“Hurry, hurry, move, move, go faster Jaeyoon, run!” 

 

“My buddies!” Sanghyuk ran over to the two boys who were currently trying to run away from the venue unseen. He wrapped his arms around both of their necks and pulled them over to the other six of them. “We were starting to think you would try to leave without seeing us.”

 

“That was the plan,” Taeyang mumbled. 

 

“Why are you guys even here? You weren’t supposed to be here,” Jaeyoon questioned. Taeyang made every effort to cover up his chest but it had no effect.

 

“Well, you knew I knew about the recital so it’s your fault for being too stupid to realize, of course, I would bring everybody.”

 

“We didn’t tell you where it was,” Jaeyoon argued. 

 

“Information flyers are a blessing, aren’t they?” Sanghyuk brought them in front of the group and backed up to grab his flowers from Juho. The two boys looked dumbfounded. 

 

“You… you, why would you do all of this?” Jaeyoon asked completely surprised. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wider than the sky. Taeyang didn’t comment, didn’t even look up. He just held his arms over his chest and made himself look as small as he possibly could. 

 

“You did a great job at your recital,” Youngbin explained. “Sanghyuk told us how excited you were about it and we had to see it for ourselves. You guys did amazing.”

 

Jaeyoon walked over to Inseong and grabbed the collar of his shirt. He yanked the boy towards him and pecked him on the lips. Sanghyuk screamed and fell to the ground dramatically. Seokwoo screamed with the camera in his hands and Youngbin jumped excitedly. Juho screamed and Chanhee laughed at Inseong’s face. The boy looked like he was having a mental breakdown. His eyes were only focused on Jaeyoon who had backup up at this point. 

 

“I- I heard what you screamed,” he said shyly. He held his hands folded over each other in front of him and turned his red face away. When Inseong finally came to his senses, he walked over to Jaeyoon and grabbed the side of his head. He pressed his lips against Jaeyoon’s and the pink haired boy’s hands flung out surprised. Inseong didn’t just peck him on the lips this time, he made sure they kissed for a long while. 

 

Youngbin and Seokwoo grabbed hands and screamed like fangirls while Juho covered his eyes. Chanhee jumped to Hwiyoung’s side and they all smiled at the boys. Taeyang was screaming for the two boys and cheering, his exposed chest completely forgotten. 

 

When Inseong pulled away he gave the other boy the sweetest smile and pecked him on the lips again. Sanghyuk screamed.

 

“Finally!” Chanhee screamed. 

 

“This is the best day of my life!” Youngbin yelled. 

 

Everyone continued to fawn over Inseong and Jaeyoon who were wrapped around each other in a smiling and embarrassed mess. Hwiyoung looked over to Taeyang. He looked so self conscious with his chest exposed like that so Hwiyoung unbuttoned his overcoat. He walked over to the blonde boy and threw the coat over his shoulders. 

 

“Your performance was amazing,” he commented. He made sure the coat covered Taeyang’s chest completely before giving him a smile. “Really, I loved it.” Taeyang smiled at him.

 

“You weren’t supposed to see that dance. You weren’t supposed to see me dressed like this either.”

 

“Wait, so you get to see me shirtless but I can’t see you in fishnets?” Taeyang punched him on the shoulder playfully. Hwiyoung smiled at him and handed him the flowers in his hands. “Don’t be embarrassed, I liked your dance.” Taeyang took the flowers and smiled at him.

 

“Did you know yellow is my favorite color?”

 

“We need pictures! Hwi! Get closer to Tae!” the two boys looked up to see Chanhee and Juho with their phones in their hands. The rest of the group was fawning over the new couple and taking pictures of them. 

 

Hwi took a step towards Taeyang and smiled. Chanhee shook his head and walked over to them. He took the flowers from Taeyang and pushed them into Hwiyoung’s arms. Then he unbuttoned the overcoat Hwiyoung had given the boy and threw it to the side. Taeyang tried to grab it but Chanhee wouldn’t let him.

 

“Now,” he said giving the flowers back to Taeyang. “You wore this in front of hundreds of people. Don’t be so shy. And pose for the picture.”

 

Taeyang brought his arm up and laid it over Hwiyoung’s shoulders. He leaned into the older boy and reached up to grab Taeyang’s hand. He smiled and leaned his head onto Taeyang’s shoulders. Chanhee seemed happy with their current position. 

 

“We need pictures of the two dancers! Tae get your gay ass over here!” Sanghyuk called. Taeyang smiled and they all ran over to the other group. Hwiyoung held Taeyang’s flowers as the two boys posed for pictures with each other. 

 

“Guys! We have to get you two changed. We have reservations!”

 

“You aren’t going to make us wear suits too, are you?” Taeyang asked with a pout.

 

“Would you rather wear that into a fancy restaurant?”

 

“Fine. But I want a black tie to match Hwi’s.”


	11. The Red Rose

Hwiyoung could feel the uncomfortableness radiating off of Chanhee. Granted, Chanhee was not used to this kind of environment. Usually, Chanhee ate with Hwiyoung at small restaurants or snacked on chips and cookies from FNC or school. Because of Hwiyoung’s parents, he never had a good chance to take Chanhee out to dinner when he was younger. Hwiyoung had offered several times after entering high school but Chanhee had refused every time. When Chanhee wasn’t eating with Hwiyoung, he was eating small meals and cheap take out with his family. Hwiyoung wasn’t sure if Chanhee had ever been to a fancy restaurant like this before. 

 

The chairs they sat in were polished and cushioned while the table was shiney with a soft tablecloth hanging over the edge. Fancy chandeliers hung from the ceiling and railings were lined with fairy lights. Champagne glasses clinked at every other table and silverware was placed on the proper sides of the plate, etiquette Chanhee had probably never even heard of. 

 

It was agreed earlier that Sanghyuk and Juho were paying for the majority of the meal, but that everyone would contribute a little. Hwiyoung was obviously paying for Chanhee even if he didn’t want him to. 

 

Taeyang sat to Hwiyoung’s other side and Sanghyuk sat next to him. Jaeyoon sat next to Sanghyuk and obviously Inseong sat next to him. Next to Inseong was Juho and next to him was Seokwoo. Youngbin sat in between Chanhee and Seokwoo. 

 

All of them had clear glasses in front of them filled with anything from wine to any other form of alcohol. Hwiyoung and Chanhee both had water, Chanhee’s reason being that he didn’t like fancier alcohols even though Hwiyoung knew the real reason was that alcohol would cost more money.

 

“Order whatever you want,” Hwiyoung whispered to Chanhee. Everyone else was engrossed in conversations so nobody would notice theirs. “Don’t worry about money-”

 

“Hwiyoung, you are not paying for me. No way.”

 

“Yes I am,” Hwiyoung argued. “You never let me pay for anything other than small snacks and strawberry milks-”

 

“That’s enough. Really, I can pay. I brought the extra money-”

 

“Don’t use that. The extra money you keep in your bag for emergencies right? Chanhee, this is not an emergency. Let me pay for you for once.” Chanhee shook his head.

 

“No way. Not happening.”

 

“Chanhee, keep your money. If you're going to use it then use it to help your family until your mom finds a new job. For once, let me pay for your meal.” Chanhee looked like he was about to object but Hwiyoung cut him off again. “I should have treated you to a meal like this long before now but you wouldn’t let me. At least let me treat you this time.” Chanhee mumbled a hesitant ‘fine’ before Sanghyuk grabbed their attention by clicking one of his chopsticks against his glass. 

 

“A toast!” he declared. “To Tae and Yoon’s amazing dance performance!” Everybody said something in response, whether it be a repetition of what Sanghyuk had said or an agreement before drinking from their glasses. 

 

“I look forward to seeing more of Jaeyoon’s dancing in the future,” Inseong said with a smile and a hand around Jaeyoon’s shoulders.

 

“We’re at a fancy place, don’t be gross,” Juho said with scrunched up eyes and disgust written across his face.

 

“So, with their amazing performance, it gave me an idea for the fourth stage of life if you guys are up for it,” Sanghyuk stated ignoring the love birds off to the side. 

 

“It doesn’t matter if we’re up for it,” Youngbin reminded him. “If you say it’s the fourth stage of life then it’s the fourth stage of life.” Sanghyuk rolled his eyes.

 

“Well, you guys know Juho does producing right?”

 

“No!”

 

“Okay, well Juho does producing. And I do my vocal classes so we’ve kind of been working together on a song. I was thinking, for stage four, we could all do a public performance. Like, you know how people in America perform drum stuff and acrobatics in the streets to entertain people? We should do that.” 

 

“I’m not saying this because I have no musical talent,” Chanhee stated clearly, “but how is this a lesson in life?”

 

“How was gazing at the stars or a sunrise a lesson in life?” he retorted. He had a good point. 

 

“The bonfire was a lesson in life because we fixed a lot of our problems there,” Taeyang stated proudly. “The sunrise was a lesson in life because it was about making things or people that aren’t usually seen as special or important feel special and important. The stars was a lesson in life because we didn’t have the comfort of our homes and it was all about appreciating natural beauty.”

 

“Fine,” Sanghyuk said. “Performing in public is all about embracing your talents and showing them off to the world no matter what they are because every person is different. Take that Chanhee!” 

 

“Okay but what if we seriously can’t sing or dance?” Chanhee asked. “It’s hard to embrace what I don’t have.”

 

“Well, what I was thinking, was that we could practice first. The song has vocals and rap in it so maybe we could like split it up and learn a cool dance,” he said raising his eyebrows at Taeyang and Jaeyoon. “And then after that we can just have fun singing and dancing in public. I’m sure other people would jump in. Especially if we play some popular kpop songs like Twice or NCT. We wouldn’t look like idiots then.”

 

“Okay, fine,” Chanhee conceded. “Stage four is a public performance. Awesome.”

 

♦️

 

The nine of them weren’t able to meet all together until two days later, on Thursday. Hwiyoung had his hagwon on Wednesday and Juho had to work overtime that same day. After school on Thursday, however, Sanghyuk came by the school to pick up Hwiyoung and Chanhee to practice their song. 

 

The three of them walked to Sanghyuk’s house which had a complete setup in his basement to practice their performance. Inseong, Youngbin, Seokwoo, and Taeyang were already there and Juho and Jaeyoon were on their way. 

 

“So, what is this song?” Chanhee asked taking a seat on a broken looking table in the corner of the room. 

 

“Juho and I named it ‘Fanfare.’ It’s an English word and it’s basically a big musical entrance to introduce important people or events. We figured we are important enough to be introduced through our song.

 

“We should have a band name!” Inseong suggested. He had a huge smile on his face and seemed excited about he idea. 

 

“What are we doing?” Jaeyoon asked as he came into the basement with Juho. 

 

“Making a band name!” Inseong said happily. He motioned for Jaeyoon to come to him and pulled the oher boy onto his lap. Jaeyoon seemed a little embarrassed but didn’t say anything. 

 

“What about Nine Idiots?” Youngbin suggested.

 

“That’s not cool enough!” Seokwoo argued. 

 

“Why don’t we focus on the actual song first before creating a whole band,” Chanhee suggested. Sanghyuk nodded and handed everybody a page of the lyrics. 

 

“Wait,” Youngbin said. “You have me listed next to a rap part. I can’t rap.”

 

“You won’t know until you try,” Sanghyuk said with a smile. 

 

They practiced for hours on end. Youngbin had the most trouble learning how to rap without forgetting the lyrics everytime Sanghyuk took the paper away from him. To Hwiyoung’s surprise, Taeyang actually had a very nice voice. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he kind of liked when Taeyang messed up because that meant he could hear him sing the part all over again. Seokwoo also had a nice voice to listen to. Sanghyuk named him the visual of the group. Inseong sung in the pre-chorus and his notes impressed everybody. Apparently, nobody knew he could sing. Jaeyoon claimed he was hot after a while and held his sweatshirt in his lap and if that wasn’t an obvious sign that he liked Inseong’s voice he didn’t know what was. Sanghyuk’s voice was, like Inseong’s, angelic and beautiful. No wonder he wanted to perform, he had actual talent. Hwiyoung only had to say six words in his best ‘rapper voice’ as Juho described it and he was very dramatic about it. The group had to take a five minute break because half of them couldn’t breath from laughter after Hwiyoung’s dramatic line reading. Juho aced his part on the first try, of course, and everybody was dumbfounded by the red head’s ability to rap. Jaeyoon called him a god. Jaeyoon also had a very strong and amazing voice. It seemed that everybody in the group had amazing voices. Chanhee got really into his part when it came. Despite what he said days ago, Chanhee did an amazing job. His voice fit perfectly with that part in the song like Sanghyuk said it would. 

 

“This is so awesome!” Jaeyoon screamed after getting the entire song right for the first time. 

 

“This is so much fun! Sanghyuk this was an awesome idea!” Inseong agreed hugging his friend.

 

“Yeah!” Hwiyoung agreed. “Juho, this is an amazing song. I can’t believe you produced this!” 

 

“I know what our band name should be! I know what it should be!” Taeyang jumped in with his hand raised like he was in school with the answer to a question. “Sensational Feeling Nine!” 

 

“Why?” Seokwoo asked from the spot he sat on the floor. 

 

“Well, I was just thinking, this feeling. It’s kind of a sensational feeling. And isn’t it kind of like that when all of us are together? This feeling of us all having fun, I mean. And there are nine of us.”

 

“I like it!” Chanhee agreed. 

 

“In Japanese, there is a character that is shaped exactly like the number nine. It means to stay together. So it even has meaning!” Hwiyoung said with a smile.

 

“Well if top-of-the-class says it, then it must be true,” Juho said with a small laugh. 

 

“But Sensational Feeling 9 is a little long isn’t it?” Jaeyoon asked. 

 

“SF9! SF9! Let’s name our group SF9!” Taeyang said with an excited smile!

 

“SF9 it is!” Sanghyuk declared. “And our debut will be tomorrow at Wongguk-Dong!”

 

♦️

 

The sky wasn’t the clearest it could have been. Hwiyoung knew Sanghyuk had been hoping for clear skies with the sun out, but it didn’t look like it was going to turn out that way. The skies were a milky gray color and the air felt like a rainstorm might be on it’s way at some point in the day. He knew if he checked the weather reports they would probably call for rain. 

 

Hwiyoung sighed before jumping up to pull his jeans up to his hips. He buttoned them and slipped the loose black shirt over his head. He had to admit, it felt weird standing in the school without his uniform on, even if it was just the bathrooms. Of course, he knew the chances of any teachers catching him was slim because he was currently using the bathrooms by the back of the school to change. Chanhee was probably waiting somewhere outside the building already changed from using the bathrooms in one of the other back hallways. There was a staircase right around the corner of the bathrooms and at the bottom there was a set of doors he could use to leave. 

 

He stuffed the uniform into the extra space in his backpack and ruffled his hair so it didn’t look flat and plain. He exited the stall he was using and looked at himself in the mirror. Why was he all of a sudden so concerned about the way he looked? It wasn’t like the thoughts consumed him, but they were definitely there. For some reason, the clothes he chose to pack had to be perfect and the way his hair was styled had to compliment his face. He wasn’t… no way. He couldn’t be trying to unconsciously impress Taeyang, could he?

 

“Hello?” Hwiyoung turned around quickly, holding his hands out as an instinct.

 

“Oh,” he said with a relieved sigh, “it’s just you, Hyunwoo.” He didn’t expect to see any of his classmates after he left the room, he usually didn’t. 

 

“Why aren’t you wearing your uniform?” he asked innocently. Hyunwoo always gave off the vibe of being innocent and pure. He had a pretty face with long black hair that seemed to hide his eyes most days. He never caused trouble and usually kept his face buried in his books. He studied hard. 

 

“Oh, I have somewhere to go. I figured I would just change here before leaving,” he admitted. “Do you need something?” he asked after observing the boy twiddle his thumbs. There were open urinals and stalls but he didn’t seem to need to use any of them.

 

“Uh, yeah! I- I mean, it’s not- if you have somewhere to be, then I-”

 

“It’s okay, I’m sure Chanhee could wait a few minutes,” he replied with a kind smile. Hyunwoo nodded before slipping his bag off of his shoulder with shaky hands. Hyunwoo seemed oddly nervous and anxious. There wasn’t something wrong, was there?

 

He watched as the boy unzipped his bag and pulled something red out of it. He held the object out to Hwiyoung in a fist and let his bag fall to the floor.

 

“Oh…” Hwiyoung accidentally said out loud. He reached out to take the red rose from Hyunwoo’s hands. 

 

“I just- uhm, I just wanted to say that you’re a really cool guy, and- well, you’re cute and really nice to- to your friends and, I mean! I didn’t even think that you might not like guys! I, uh, I hope this isn’t too awkward, but you’re a really amazing person Hwiyoung.” He spun the rose around in his hands and looked back up at the boy before him. Hyunwoo didn’t say anything about school. He said he admired the way he acted with Chanhee. Anyone else that had ever offered him roses or gifts had mentioned his brain or how smart he was. Hyunwoo might have been the first person to offer him a rose that didn’t seem to care about his placement in class.

 

“Uhm, thank you, really. This is really nice, and uh, you’re a really cool guy. I would love to get to know you a little more sometime,” he said handing the rose back to the pale faced boy. “But I’m sorry. I already like somebody else.”

 

“No, no! That’s okay,” Hyunwoo said taking the rose back and rubbing the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have expected anything anyways, so, yeah, I hope the person you like likes you too. And I hope he treats you right!” Hyunwoo bowed to him and stumbled over his bag. Hwiyoung reached his hand out to help the boy incase he fell, but Hyunwoo just shook it off with a dopey smile and backed out of the bathroom with his backpack in hand. He felt a little bad for the boy, after all he was really sweet and even had the decency to tell him in person instead of writing a fancy note with meaningless presents. 

 

“Hey, what took you so damn long?” Chanhee asked when he made his way outside. He held up his arms in vague offense and Hwiyoung just shrugged. 

 

“Lost my phone,” he lied. “Anyways, let’s go before a teacher catches us and yells at us for being out of uniform.”

 

Everybody was already set up by the time they arrived. Juho had two speakers to the sides of the corner they stood on and was figuring out some technology thing with his laptop. Taeyang was showing Jaeyoon some cool dance move that made him look like a smooth robot. Sanghyuk was with Youngbin and Inseong going over their lines again and Seokwoo was practicing his lines off to the side. They all seemed to be taking this stage extremely serious. 

 

“I hope it doesn’t start raining,” Juho said looking sadly at his equipment. He petted the top of his speaker like it was his favorite puppy. 

 

“I’m so nervous,” Sanghyuk said with a big smile hopping from one foot to the other. 

 

“This is your stage! You’re not allowed to be nervous!” Chanhee said hitting him on the back of the head. 

 

“Do I really have to start?” Youngbin asked nervously. “I don’t think I can start because what if I start too early or too late? Then the rest of the song is ruined for everybody else!”

 

“Calm down daddy!” Jaeyoon called from where he stood with Taeyang. “You’re the parent. Parents aren’t supposed to show their children how nervous they are!” 

 

“Any other name!” Youngbin called. “Please!” Jaeyoon smirked at him.

 

“Daddy.”

 

“Okay!” Sanghyuk called out. “Are we ready? I’m so excited are we ready?”

 

“Define ready,” Chanhee said. “We don’t even have a dance. You just told us to have fun. Shouldn’t we have some sort of a solid dance?”

 

“We have the few moves Jaeyoon and I came up with,” Taeyang mentioned. “Unless you forgot them. I mean, you did just learn them yesterday.”

 

“Yeah, well, not everybody can be a professional dancer Tae.”

 

“I’m starting the music!” Juho yelled. The beat started immediately and Youngbin stepped forward for his first line.

 

“Hey, blow it like a trumpet~” Hwiyoung pushed Chanhee over to the microphones and decided that they would share one with there being less than nine. 

 

Taeyang and Jaeyoon jumped into a small dance they created and held the microphones as far away from them as they could when they laughed. 

 

“Clap clap clap clap, nuneul garin chaero~” Youngbin went on. He seemed to jump into a different element as he rapped. He didn’t sound like he did yesterday, tired and confused; but he sounded confident and sure of himself. He knew the lyrics now. 

 

“Neon yageul ollyeodaeji You’d better quit~” Taeyang rapped coming to the front of the group. He seemed so confident in himself as he rapped his first verse. They all threw their hands to the sides in union when the queue came. Chanhee and Seokwoo started laughing after they finished the move. They were all running around doing small background dances that were nothing alike and in Chanhee’s case, completely off beat. They ran around each other hyping each other up and jumping at other’s parts. When Inseong started singing the chorus, Jaeyoon let out a yell and cheered for his boyfriend. During the chorus, they all did the small dance they had practiced with big smiled on their faces. Juho messed up and fell on the concrete sidewalk laughing. 

 

“Yeah you never escape me right~” Hwiyoung spoke with his best rapper voice, much improved from yesterday. He made sure to make himself look cool to the small crowd that had gathered around them. 

 

“Hold on~, geogi meogi- wait no! Nae mame!” Inseong sung with a laugh as he messed up the lyrics.

 

During the second chorus, Sanghyuk held his hand out to a random girl in the audience and started twirling her around in a dance. Youngbin followed his lead and grabbed an old man that looked like a father to dance with. Half of the group was laughing and dancing around with complete strangers and the other half were half dancing and half running around having the time of their lives. They all sung and rapped their lines, but they made sure they had the best time while doing it. 

 

Hwiyoung reached his hand out to a small girl dressed in a pink dress with a big bow on the back. She eagerly grabbed his hand and he let her stand on his shoes as he walked around with her. He held both of her hands as they spun around. At one point he brought her off of his shoes to twirl her around like a princess. After a while, he traded the little girl off to Seokwoo and pulled an elderly woman to the dance floor. Taeyang was currently dancing with an elderly man and an African American man that looked like a foreigner. 

 

Chanhee finished his lines cooly and left the stage to the group for the ending chorus. Chanhee had been dancing with a small boy that looked to be a little younger than the girl Hwiyoung was previously dancing with. When the song ended, the crowd clapped for them and cheered. 

 

“Juho! Juho! Play another song! Quick! BTS! NCT! Monsta X! Something we can sing along to!”

 

“I don’t know lyrics to kpop!” Chanhee screamed with a laugh.

 

“Then try your best!” Taeyang said as he grabbed his microphone back from Sanghyuk. Juho played the instrumental for a popular BTS song that Sanghyuk had apparently mastered the lyrics to. Youngbin had tried to rap along only to mess up horribly as he tried to keep up with the rapper’s pace. When the chorus came around the second time, Taeyang held out his microphone to a middle aged woman. She didn’t have a great voice but she was laughing and seemed to be having at least a little bit of fun. Hwiyoung and Chanhee screamed the chorus out the second time around and ran around to the other members laughing. Hwiyoung hopped onto Seokwoo’s back and the older boy carried him around singing along to the song. They started a dance circle when Taeyang started dancing along to the song. They ended up bringing strangers into their dance circle as they jumped from song to song singing the lyrics.

 

“I can’t breath,” Hwiyoung admitted from where he laid next to Juho’s speaker after they had run out of songs to play and daylight to use. He was sweaty and completely worn out. There were still a few people that hadn’t left when their first song ended. He let out a sigh and looked up when somebody walked up to the speaker. Hyunwoo placed five thousand won on the speaker.

 

“Hyunwoo, what are you doing here?” he asked shocked. Hyunwoo rubbed the back of his neck and smiled.

 

“I was just walking by when I saw you with your friends,” he said kindly. “I hear in America people do this kind of thing to make extra money. I’m glad you were having fun with it though.” Hwiyoung nodded and handed the money back to him.

 

“We didn’t do this for money. We just wanted other people to have a good time,” he said as he handed the won back to Hyunwoo. “As long as you had a good time, that’s all that matters.”

 

“You’re really sweet,” he replied with a small smile. 

 

“Who’s this?” Taeyang asked sitting on top of the speaker Hwiyoung was leaned against. He felt Taeyang’s hand come to rest on the top of his head and play idly with his hair. It was weird, Taeyang had never done that before. He strangely liked it though. 

 

“This is Hyunwoo,” he replied. “He’s in my class.” Taeyang held out his hand to the boy.

 

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tae, Hwi’s special friend.” Hwiyoung turned his head to look at Taeyang as if he had grown five heads. Special friend? He could feel the heat in his cheeks. 

 

“Oh, oh! Well, it’s always nice to meet friends of Hwiyoung’s. Your performance was amazing, by the way. You’re a really great dancer.” Taeyang beamed at the boy and placed his hand back on Hwiyoung’s head. 

 

“Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed our song,” Taeyang replied. Hyunwoo smiled again at Hwiyoung before meeting Taeyang’s eyes again.

 

“Well, I should be going now. It was nice meeting you. You two make a great couple, anyways, have a nice weekend!” Hwiyoung watched Hyunwoo leave with his lips parted and his brain unable to function. A great couple? Why would Hyunwoo say that? A great couple? He turned to face Taeyang behind him.

 

“Special friend?” he questioned.

 

“Great couple?” Taeyang questioned back. Hwiyoung gave him his best done-with-your-shit look he could muster up. “What, did I embarrass you in front of somebody you like?”

 

“No! No! What? No! Why would you think that?” Hwiyoung asked standing up. 

 

“Because you got embarrassed when I called you my special friend,” the blonde pointed out.

 

“I got embarrassed because you said it, not because of Hyunwoo.” 

 

“Oh my god, just get together already,” Jaeyoon commented from the side. The two of them jumped away from each other and Jaeyoon started laughing. Inseong walked by and he pulled him over and pecked him on the lips. “It’s not that hard.” Inseong smiled and kissed him back and looked Hwiyoung in the eyes. 

 

“I have a serious question for you two.” They both nodded to allow him to ask his question, which was most likely the worst decision Hwiyoung had ever made. “Which one of you would top and which one would bottom?” 

 

“Inseong!” 

 

“What the fuck man?!” The couple in front of them just started doubling over in laughter while Hwiyoung buried his entire face in his hands. “That was the most uncalled for question get the hell out,” Hwiyoung said walking away from the group of them. Taeyang wrapped his arms around Hwiyoung’s shoulders and hummed.

 

“You didn’t answer their question. I’m curious to know,” he said with the most innocent voice he could possibly manage for this situation, rocking Hwiyoung back and forth with the weight of his body.

 

“In case you’ve forgotten I’m still a virgin. How the hell would I know?”

 

“We could always find out.” Hwiyoung pulled away from the egotistical boy and kicked his legs and the boy fell over laughing. He rolled onto his back gasping for air, hands holding his stomach.

 

“Taeyang!” he screamed covering his face again. Jaeyoon started laughing hysterically and Inseong patted him on the back. 

 

“I’m sorry,” the blonde said out of breath and still laughing. “I’m sorry but you set me up for that one!” He rolled his eyes and smiled. 

 

♦️

 

Something was different. Hwiyoung knew it, he was pretty sure Chanhee knew it too. Something was very different. It started at the bus stop, when Jiwoo looked up at him and smiled down at her lap. Jiwoo always had her head buried in comics and mangas, so her even noticing him was something new. Then there was the bus ride. He felt like he had several pairs of eyes focused on the back of his head but when he turned around there was not a single pair of eyes looking anywhere near his direction. Then, on the walk into the school, he definitely noticed the eyes on him. People looked at him and snickered into their hands. Some walked by him and looked him up and down like he was on display. Others smiled at him and then laughed as they walked away. Others couldn’t even make eye contact.

 

“Hwiyoung,” Chanhee began in a whisper. “Is it just me or is everybody staring at you?” Hwiyoung nodded. 

 

“I was beginning to think I was the only one that noticed.”

 

“No, no people are definitely staring at you.” The two boys walked into the school and watched as a whole new set of eyes turned their attention to him. “Did you do something yesterday?”

 

“I went to my Monday hagwon if that's what you mean by something. I can’t remember doing anything else,” he admitted. 

 

“Well something happened between yesterday and today, because everyone is looking at you.” Hwiyoung nodded and walked over to the nearest person he saw. 

 

“Hey, could you-”

 

“No offense Hwiyoung,” the guy started taking a step back, “but I don’t want to catch your disease.” The guy walked away with his buddies and Hwiyoung stood completely dumbfounded. 

 

“I don’t know what’s more concerning,” Chanhee said coming up behind him. “The fact that someone spread a rumor about you having a disease or the fact that a complete stranger just called you Hwiyoung.” Hwiyoung brought his hand up to his head and scratched at it.

 

“I can’t remember ever seeing that kid before. He shouldn’t know my name. How does he know my name?”

 

“Okay, so that narrows it down. Whoever talked shit about you is close enough to know your nickname.” Hwiyoung nodded and looked at his friend.

 

“A lot of people know my nickname, Chanhee. Literally anyone could have said anything, because literally anyone could know my name.” Hwiyoung turned his head as a girl that looked a little younger than him came up and smiled at him.

 

“I never figured that someone like you would swing that way, but your boyfriend is really cute,” she said before walking back to her friends and giggling. 

 

“Okay,” Chanhee said. “What the fuck.” Hwiyoung opened his mouth to reply but Chanhee interrupted him again. “No, I mean what the actual fuck?”

 

“I- I don’t- what- what the hell?” he asked as if his friend wasn’t as clueless as him. 

 

“I am completely lost,” Chanhee admitted. “So far, all we have to go off of is your nickname, a disease, and a boyfriend. Yeah, that totally makes sense,” Chanhee ended with sarcasm dripping from his voice. Hwiyoung shook his head and walked up to another group of people.

 

“Hey, Hwiyoung.” The group of guys snickered and laughed, turning their heads away as if that would hide it.

 

“Can someone tell me what the hell going on?” he asked irritated. 

 

“Shouldn’t you know, homo?” The guys laughed and turned to walk away but Hwiyoung grabbed at one of the guy’s wrists to pull him back. “He touched me!” the guy screamed dramatically waving his hands around. “Am I infected now? Oh no! You’re not contagious are you? Am I going to catch the gay? Oh fuck!” he screamed running down the hall laughing. Hwiyoung turned to Chanhee pushed his hair back frustrated. 

 

“Chanhee, please tell me what the fuck is going on,” he said holding his aching head in his hands. 

 

“I… I think the school knows your gay,” Chanhee said. 

 

“So? Why is-”

 

“Hwi, you forget that being gay is kind of still a little socially unacceptable in this country. We spend so much time with the group that you forget that some people still see being gay as wrong.” Hwiyoung pushed his hair back.

 

“I have had countless guys flirt with me before,” he stated, “so why is it such an issue now?” Chanhee shrugged.

 

“Maybe there is this screwed up idea that acting gay is cool but being gay is wrong? I have honestly no idea.” Chanhee pulled Hwiyoung over to the corner of the wall and looked him in the eyes. “Hwiyoung, I think we have bigger issues than the school knowing you’re gay right now. I think the whole school knows your nickname now, and aside from that, someone who knew your nickname also knew you were gay. But I can’t remember either of us ever telling anyone, so who the fuck knew?”

 

“There was Hyunwoo,” Hwiyoung said.

 

“Hyunwoo?”

 

“Hyunwoo is in my class. That day I said I lost my phone he gave me a rose and I told him I already liked someone else. Then he showed up at our street performance the other day. He met Tae but he was nice to him. He even mentioned us making a good couple. I can’t imagine he would do anything like this.”

 

“Hwi… I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but have you really forgotten how many people have just tried to use you? Did you ever consider that maybe he just wanted to date you so he could get ahead in the ranks?”

 

“He didn’t even mention-”

 

“Of course he didn’t,” Chanhee said with his hands on his hips. “He was probably smart enough to realize that mentioning your academic record would get him nowhere.” Hwiyoung leaned against the walls and slid down to the floor. He pulled his hands over his hand and pulled his knees up to his chest.

 

“Chanhee, Chanhee what do I do? Everyone knows my name. Everyone knows I’m gay. Everyone keeps staring at me and screaming about being gay as some disease!” he felt a tear slid down his cheek. “I know I said I wanted people to see me differently, but not like this.”

 

“Okay,” Chanhee said pulling him up to his feet. He pulled his fingers over his long sleeved shirt and wiped the tears off of his face. “This is what we are going to do.” Chanhee pulled Hwiyoung up and over to the hallways, making him face everybody else. “You’re Hwiyoung, right? Well, Youngkyun was kind of a shitty person. Perfect in everybody’s eyes but his own, following social norms, stuff like that, blah blah blah. But you’re Hwiyoung. Hwiyoung is a different person, a person that is known for who he really is. And what are you? You’re gay. So, I mean, if the whole school knows you’re gay, then you should own up to it as Hwiyoung, because god dammit you have a hot ass boyfriend that loves you and half of the school wishes they could be you. Be proud! Fuck everybody else and their shit ass judgemental opinions. You’re Hwiyoung and you are a confident gay. Now, walk down this hallways, look everybody straight in the eyes, and be proud.”

 

Chanhee pushed him forward and he stumbled a little bit, but followed Chanhee’s orders. Head up, eyes forward. Be proud. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Everybody else might think it’s a problem, but it’s not their life. He is gay, and he is proud. Fuck everybody else, like Chanhee said. He took a step forward and started making his way down the hallway. Meet their eyes. Head up. Smile like it’s normal day. 

 

It was a miracle. It was like Chanhee had cast a spell on him and everybody else that he passed in the halls. Nobody said anything. Some looked like they were going to, but none ever did. Was it because he didn’t look lost or confused anymore? Was it because he had a smile on his face? Maybe it was because he didn’t look like he was ashamed of it. To be honest, he wasn’t. He was a little embarrassed that everybody else knew, but then again, he was perfectly fine with the way he was now. Maybe once people realized that, they figured it wasn’t worth insulting him or commenting on something they had no involvement in. 

 

“Hyunwoo!” he called out when he got to his class with Chanhee by his side.

 

“You’re probably angry with me, I know. How are you enjoying all of your new friends, Hwiyoung? You have so many eyes watching you now, it must be great, getting all the attention you’ve always wanted.”

 

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Hwiyoung fired back. “I never wanted attention for anything. Why the fuck did you tell others about Taeyang? It wasn’t your place.”

 

“Because!” Hyunwoo said standing up in his seat. “You rejected me for some low life that acts like a twelve year old child! You’re so incredibly smart! Why would you waste your brain on somebody that doesn’t need it? You could have helped me in school! I could have been higher in the class ranks if you had just helped me!”

 

“If you had asked nicely,” Hwiyoung retorted with his hands balled into fists, “I might have helped you.” Hyunwoo rolled his eyes and sat back down. 

 

“Whatever, the damage is done. Have fun walking through the halls knowing everybody knows your dirty little secret.”

 

“It wasn’t a secret,” Hwiyoung said firmly. “I’m not ashamed of it. If you want to humiliate me, you’re going to have to try a lot harder. I love Taeyang. I’m not afraid to say it. I am in love with another guy.” He placed both of his hands on Hyunwoo’s desk and leaned his face closer to his. “Have fun moving up in the ranks after I tell everybody how you tried to use me. I’m sure everyone will jump to give you their study notes.”

 

“Woah, you go Hwi,” Chanhee encouraged from behind him.

 

“What proof do you have?” Hyunwoo asked with a sly smirk. “I spread a video around the school anonymously. What proof do you have that I tried to use you?”

 

“Video…?”

 

“Hwi! From the street performance! With Inseong and Jaeyoon!” 

 

“I don’t need proof,” Hwiyoung decided, talking from the top of his head without thinking about anything he was saying. “I don’t need proof because if I say you spread the rumor, everybody will believe me. It’s not like I had some past issues with you to make them think I’m just throwing you under the bus. I have no reason to blame you other than you spreading the rumor.” Hwiyoung smiled at him and made his way back over to his desk. “So again, have fun moving up in the ranks.”


	12. The Bad Boy and The King

Hwiyoung couldn’t sleep again. So much had happened lately, his brain needed a chance to catch up. He was in love with Taeyang. The words had come out of his own mouth and he hadn’t even considered taking them back. He was in love with Taeyang. The whole school knew and he didn’t even care. He was definitely upset that Hyunwoo had tried to use him, playing as the nice guy and all, but the shock had left as soon as it came. He was used to people using him by now, so adding a new person to the list wasn’t a huge blow. He had also stood up to somebody. Chanhee had told him to be ‘Hwiyoung’ and he did, he stood up to somebody. He stood up for himself. He told Hyunwoo he didn’t care and he actually threatened the boy. He was smiling just thinking of the thought. Screw Hyunwoo, he was just an extra in the background of his and Taeyang’s movie. He was the side issue that came only to cause conflict and then he would leave as soon as his part was over. 

 

He shot up in bed when the knock at his window came. He wasn’t the least bit tired, and he was excited that someone had come to entertain him. He unlatched the window and opened it to find Seokwoo at the top of the latter with a silly smile. He let the older boy into his room.

 

“You don’t look tired,” Seokwoo whispered as he climbed in.

 

“Just have a lot of energy,” Hwiyoung replied closing the window. “So what’s up?”

 

“I have an idea for the fifth stage of life!” he said with a goofy smile.

 

“Then where are the others?” he asked confused. 

 

“I wanted to talk to you about it first. Because, because of the brothers. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay with it.” Hwiyoung motioned for him to go ahead and share his idea. He walked over and sat on the bed with crossed legs, letting Seokwoo sit on the other end. “Well, I guess we need lessons to go with these now, right? So, self confidence. I love fashion so I thought that maybe we could dress each other up in the most ridiculous outfits of our choice and have the others walk around in them for the entire day.”

 

“That sounds like fun actually!” Hwiyoung said giving the boy a smile. “What does it have to do with the brothers though?” 

 

“Well, I know you get bullied but I didn’t want to make anything worse by forcing you to go to school dressed in ridiculous clothing. You’d already be getting crap for not wearing your uniform.”

 

“That’s fine,” he said with a smile. “I like the idea. I think it’s awesome!” 

 

“Okay, then let’s call the others and go. Oh yeah! Do you think you could sneak downstairs and leave a note for your parents? I don’t want you to get in trouble and I don’t think we would be coming back before school, I mean it’s already the early hours of the morning.”

 

Hwiyoung nodded and grabbed a sticky note. He scribbled a quick message about leaving early to do extra work for the school for extra credit. He left the sticky note in front of his mother’s seat at the dining table and raced back upstairs to grab his bag. He didn’t bother with the uniform considering Seokwoo said he wouldn’t be needing it anyways.

 

Once the ladder was moved back to its place, the two boys pulled out their phones to message the others. 

 

“Chanhee, Seokwoo is starting stage five.”

 

“I was about to get annoyed cuz it’s early in the morning, again, but I wasn’t that tired anyways. Where exactly am I meeting you guys?” 

 

“Seokwoo said to meet at his aunt’s clothing store.”

 

“Hwi, I have no idea where the fuck that is.”

 

“I’ll send you directions,” he said before hanging up. He called Taeyang next. He hadn’t saved the number in his phone yet but he had looked at the tiny piece of paper so many times that he had the number memorized. 

 

“Hey, Tae, sorry if I woke you up.”

 

“No, no it’s… uh it’s- shit,” there was a loud bang from the opposite end of the call. “It’s fine. I, uh, I just didn’t expect this. Hey Hwi.”

 

“Seokwoo is starting the fifth stage of life. He said to meet at his aunt’s clothing store. If you need directions…”

 

“Nah, it’s cool I know where it is. I’ll be there soon.”

 

“Okay. See you there.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll- ehuhm- I’ll see you there...babe.”

 

Hwiyoung stood in shock after the line went dead. He kept the phone held to his ear because he couldn’t focus enough of his brain on moving his arm away form his head. Babe? He felt like screaming and folding into a ball. 

 

“Hey, Hwi, you okay?” Seokwoo asked waving a hand in front of his face. He coughed awkwardly and put his phone in his back pocket.

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” he lied. 

 

“Anyways,” Seokwoo said leading the way to his aunt’s store, “I was thinking that we could go a bunch of places later today with our costumes on. Like we should to go FNC and a bunch of places like that.” Hwiyoung nodded.

 

“It sounds like a good idea.” It was Wednesday, wasn’t it? That meant he had his hagwon today as well. But, then again, Seokwoo seemed really excited about this idea, and they had already called everybody. He couldn’t stop everybody from doing this just because he had school stuff to do. It wouldn’t be so bad if he just skipped one more hagwon, would it?

 

Seokwoo’s aunt’s store looked fancy. It had clean windows with beautiful dresses and outfits hung in the windows. Seokwoo unlocked the store with his spare key and the place looked stunning with all of the lights on. Fairy lights hung around the walls and lit up the staircase leading to the second floor like a walkway for royalty. The clothes all hung so neatly with full length mirrors hung on walls and posts around the shop. For a clothing shop in Ansan, this place was pretty big. 

 

Juho, Jaeyoon, and Inseong arrived after them. Seokwoo made a joke about the couple arriving together and Juho just thanked the two for making plans tonight. Sanghyuk arrived next, then Youngbin came with Taeyang. Chanhee was the last to arrive claiming he walked down the wrong road by accident.

 

“Okay, so this is my aunt’s clothing store," he said more to Chanhee and Hwiyoung than anyone else. "It has almost any style you could ever think of. She likes variety. Anyways, she recently put everything on clearance because she’s getting a new shipment of clothes and needs to sell some of the old stuff. For stage five, I want us all to dress up someone else with whatever we can find in this store! I’m buying, so pick whatever you want!”

 

“Wait,” Chanhee interrupted. “Who is dressing up who?” 

 

“Since it’s my stage. I’ll pick first. Then, whoever I pick will choose a person and so on, so on. Good? Juho! I’m dressing you up!” Juho smiled at the only person in the room who had a decent sense of style and looked around at his options. 

 

“I’ll dress Tae,” he decided. Seokwoo nodded and pulled out his phone to write down his choice.

 

“I want to dress up Hwi!” Taeyang called almost immediately. Hwiyoung blushed and turned to Chanhee. 

 

“I chose Chanhee.” The youngest boy smiled at him before turning his attention to the group. 

 

“Youngbin!” he called. “I’ll dress youngbin!” 

 

“I want to dress Inseong,” Youngbin decided easily. Inseong smiled before wrapping his arm around Jaeyoon.

 

“I’m styling Pinky.”

 

“I wanna dress up Sanghyuk!” Jaeyoon said with a smile.

 

“Then I guess I’ll do Seokwoo?” the boy questioned. Everybody nodded.

 

“Okay, that went better than I expected. So, everybody look for something to dress your person in. Then we will all change one by one. Go!” Hwiyoung had no idea what he wanted to dress Chanhee as. There were so many options and yet Hwiyoung’s brain drew a huge blank. He searched through the racks of clothing for anything that could spark an idea. Everybody else looked like they had at least some idea for what they wanted, and yet Hwiyoung was completely lost. What could he dress Chanhee as? Then he saw it, the perfect thing. Was everybody else going with random clothing or did other people have themes? He supposed his idea was somewhere in the middle. 

 

Once everybody had what they wanted, Seokwoo was tasked with dressing Juho. It took a while and everyone was eager to see what he had come up with. The sky was becoming lighter and soon it would be time to leave. Everybody was anxious to see what they would look like leaving the shop. 

 

“I present to you,” Seokwoo began stepping out of the changing room, “Mr. Baek Juho.” Juho stepped out from behind the curtain and everyone clapped. Unlike what Hwiyoung had had in mind, Seokwoo had made Juho look amazing. The tux fit him perfectly, pinned in all the right places with a cloth sticking out of his pocket, He had a red tie to match his hair which was pulled away from his forehead. His shoes were neatly polished and he had a ring on his right hand.

 

“Woah, Juho you look amazing,” Jaeyoon said with two thumbs up. Juho smiled and bowed with one hand held behind his back. 

 

“I think I like this stage, I mean come on, I look hot.”

 

Taeyang was pushed into the changing room next. It didn’t take nearly as long for the two boys to come out this time as it did for Seokwoo and Juho. Juho came out, neatly dressed as a gentleman, and gestured for Taeyang to come out.

 

“I present to you,” he copied Seokwoo, “TaeTae.” Taeyang stepped out of the changing room and everyone immediately burst into laughter. The look was perfect. The overalls, the white comic shirt, the thick rimmed glasses with no lens, the white sneakers, the flattened hair. Taeyang looked like the definition of a stereotypical nerd. Taeyang gave the group his best awkward, toothy smile and everyone started laughing again. 

 

“Okay, ha ha, yeah, I look like a nerd. Hwi, you’re next.” It didn’t dawn on him until this moment that everyone else had helped their person get dressed. He tried not to show his realization of this fact as he stepped into the changing room. He heard a whistle from someone as Taeyang followed him in. “Put this on,” he said handing a pile on neatly folded clothes to him. It looked mostly black, with little to no other colors. He saw leather in the pile as well. What was Taeyang having him dress as? 

 

Hwiyoung took the pile of clothes from him and placed them on the stool in the corner of the room. He shrugged his shirt over his head first and as he reached for the first item, he turned around to see Taeyang turning around at the same time as him. 

 

Well, he thought, I’ve already decided I love him.

 

“I’m a little confused. Could you help me?” He watched Taeyang turn to him and lock eyes with him. 

 

“I- I mean, uh, yeah, I- if that’s, uhm, if- yeah sure,” he stuttered walking over to him. Hwiyoung watched as the boy focused his eyes on the pile of clothing on the stool. He grabbed a thin black shirt from the pile and fitted his hands through the base and the neck hole. Hwiyoung wasn’t sure what he was doing until he pulled the shirt over his head for him. To be honest, Hwiyoung had no idea what help he had been asking for in the first place. He just knew that he shivered slightly when Taeyang’s knuckles brushed his chest. Taeyang seemed to notice as well. “Uh....” 

 

“What is it?” 

 

“You- uh. Pants.” Taeyang turned his head away and brought his hand up to his face. 

 

“I thought you said you were going to help me.” What the fuck?! Who says that?! You are making everything worse!

 

“Fine,” Taeyang said reaching for Hwiyoung’s hips. Taeyang slipped his fingers through the belt loops on his jeans and tugged him closer harshly with a sick smirk on his face. He unbuttoned the jeans Hwiyoung had thrown on before leaving the house and kneeled down to the floor to pull them down. Hwiyoung couldn’t keep eye contact anymore and turned his head away. “What’s the matter?” he said with a smile Hwiyoung could hear. “I thought you wanted help. Are you embarrassed seeing me from this angle?” Hwiyoung stepped out of the pants and walked himself into the corner of the changing room. Taeyang laughed. “And you think you’re so smooth,” he said throwing a pair of black skinny jeans at him. He pulled them on himself this time. 

 

“Why am I wearing all black, though?” he asked confused. Taeyang smiled before pointing at the waist of his jeans.

 

“Tuck your shirt in unless you want me to help you with that too.” Hwiyoung did it himself with red cheeks. He threw a leather jacket at him too. Hwiyoung put it on. “Now,” Taeyang said walking up to him. Their faces were extremely close but Taeyang didn’t seem to notice, either that or he pretended not too. The blonde’s hands found Hwiyoung’s hair and ruffled it up. “You need a sort of messy bedhead look.”

 

Hwiyoung had full intentions to keep his head down so he wouldn’t have to see Taeyang’s face as close as he was, but Taeyang didn’t help when he pulled Hwiyoung’s head up and told him to stay still. His next plan was to look to the side, but Taeyang moved to the same side to get a better angle at his hair. He looked to the other side and the boy just seemed to follow his eyes. His only option left was to just look at Taeyang. The blonde was biting his lip and seemed too focused on his hair to notice his eyes. When he did notice, though, he took a quick step back. His nervous laugh was kind of cute. 

 

“There are combat boots on the stool. Put those on.” Hwiyoung did as he was told and slipped the boots on, tucking the bottoms of his jeans into them. He looked bad ass. He had the whole look, the black, the skinny jeans, the boots, the jacket, the hair. “And this,” Taeyang said holding up a necklace. Hwiyoung lifted his fingers to look at the small pendant hanging from the chain.

 

“Are you sure a sun and moon fit the image?” he asked confused. 

 

“No, uh, yeah no, I know it doesn’t. Because, uhm, well this isn’t exactly for the dress up game.” Hwiyoung tilted his head at the boy. “It’s for you. I’ve had it for a while actually, I got it after the dance recital. I just never knew when a good time to give it to you would be.” Hwiyoung reached out to touch the necklace again and admired the pendant. The sun and the moon side by side. “Inseong told me that you picked yellow flowers because I reminded you of the sun. And well, I know the moon isn’t quite as romantic as being compared to the sun, but I see you at night more than any other time and you love the stars. And, sometimes when I can’t sleep I just look up at the moon because, you know it’s really pretty. And you’re really pretty. And when I can’t sleep I sometimes think… of you. And I mean, well I look at the moon when I can’t sleep and I don’t know it’s really stupid but-”

 

“I love it.”

 

“You… you what?”

 

“I love it,” Hwiyoung whispered again, turning around so Taeyang could put it on for him. He felt Taeyang’s hands come around and brush the sides of his neck momentarily freezing and then continuing when he gave no reaction. He felt the chain and the pendant fall onto his chest and he looked down at it and smiled. When it was latched, he turned around and wrapped his arms around the blonde boy. It took a few seconds for Taeyang’s hand to fall on his back, but when they did, Hwiyoung nuzzled his head into Taeyang’s neck. “I love it. This is the nicest gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome, Hwi.”

 

“Are you guys done it in there or what? Come on!” Inseong called out. Hwiyoung pulled away from Taeyang fast and coughed, watching as Taeyang stepped out of the changing room.

 

“Without further adieu, Hwiyoung the bad boy,” Taeyang introduced as if they hadn't just had a moment like that. Hwiyoung bit his lip lightly before he stepped out and smiled at everybody. Chanhee screamed and ran over to him. 

 

“This is your best look ever!” Chanhee said excitedly. “Hwiyoung! You look hot! This is a look on you!” 

 

"What the fuck Taeyang!" Juho said walking over to him, observing the outfit. "Hell you might have mad him hotter than me. Unacceptable." Hwiyoung smiled and grabbed his clothes for Chanhee. They stepped into the changing room together and Chanhee narrowed his eyes at Hwiyoung.

 

“Okay, what the fuck is this?”

 

“It’s a hanbok.”

 

“Isn’t this the kind of stuff emperors used to wear. Like royalty and people like that?”

 

“That is exactly what this is.”

 

Hwiyoung had dressed Chanhee up to look like an old fashioned Korean emperor. He was decked out in a red dress like they used to wear with an old fashioned korean hat he had seen in a drama before. He wanted to make Chanhee feel like royalty for a day.

 

Everyone loved Chanhee’s look when he stepped out of the changing room. Inseong had claimed that Chanhee was now in charge of them all seeing as how he was dressed like he was ready to lead an entire nation. Chanhee had dressed up Youngbin next. Somehow, the younger boy had found tights for a man and a fabric that resembled a cape. He dressed Youngbin like a superhero. 

 

“Okay, so, I guess I’m going to college today dressed in spandex with a cape.” Everyone had laughed at his costume and applauded Chanhee’s work. Youngbin was the next to dress Inseong. Like Seokwoo and Taeyang, he had plans to make the boy look nice in what he wore. Inseong came out of the room dressed as what Youngbin described as the ‘hot boy that everybody falls for.’ He was decked out in overly ripped black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with rips in the chest and neck area. He had a choker around his neck and black combat boots on his feet. His hair, like Hwiyoung’s, was messed up in a professional way. He looked like he was enjoying the idea. 

 

“I don’t know about you, daddy, but I think I’m going to enjoy college today,” he said to Youngbin, sending a wink towards Jaeyoon. “What do you think, Yoon?” he asked pinning the pink haired boy against the wall. “Don’t I look amazing?” 

 

“Be gross somewhere else!” Juho commanded. Inseong pulled away from his boyfriend, but only after kissing him on the lips like his life depended on it. Jaeyoon looked like he had just run a mile, he was so out of breath.

 

Inseong was in charge of dressing Jaeyoon next, and everybody knew why it took so much time. They could hear their kisses from outside of the room. When Inseong finally revealed his masterpiece, everybody dropped to the floor holding their stomachs laughing.

 

“This actually worked out perfectly, thank you Youngbin,” he said with a smile. “I am the hot boy everybody falls for and Yoona over here is the girl that falls for me.” Jaeyoon was dressed as a girl. He had a pretty pink dress on and a wig to cover his short hair. Inseong had put lipstick and blush on him and had somehow forced the boy into small heels.

 

“Yoona! You look so pretty!” Chanhee called out to him.

 

“Yoona!” Inseong copied pinning him against the wall again. “Have you fallen for me yet?” Jaeyoon kissed him on the lips leaving a small red stain across his mouth and smiled.

 

“You didn’t need to dress me as a girl for that.”

 

Jaeyoon had to dress Sanghyuk now. Sanghyuk’s costume took a little more time than everybody elses, including Juho’s. When he stepped out, however, everyone realized that the wait was completely worth it. Sanghyuk was dressed in a black t-shirt promoting some emo band with a black sweater thrown over it. He had ripped skinny jeans and converse. His eyes were lined with too much mascara and eyeshadow that it looked like it physically hurt Seokwoo. There was a pentagram necklace around his neck and his arm was covered in black rubber bracelets. His hair was flattened over one side of his face and the rest was swept up. Jaeyoon made Sanghyuk look completely emo.

 

“I love it,” Taeyang decided within seconds of seeing him. “The whole look, I love it.”

 

Sanghyuk was the last one to dress up Seokwoo. Seokwoo’s costume was by far the best. He wore bright red high heels, as if he wasn’t already tall enough, with the most outrageously colored dress Sanghyuk could have possibly found. There were sparkles all over the dress and glitter across Seowkoo’s face. His cheeks were contoured more than anything Hwiyoung had ever seen and he had bright pink eyeshadow lining the entirety of his eyes. There were sparkles in that as well. He was wearing brightly colored lipstick and a blonde wig that poofed out with sparkles. 

 

“You dressed Seokwoo as a drag queen?”

 

“I love it!” Chanhee said running up to him. “This is awesome. This is the best one. Sanghyuk wins.”

 

“Okay, this has taken much longer than it should have!” Seokwoo declared making his way over to his bag in his high heels. “We have to get to our stuff. Taeyang, Jaeyoon, have fun at dance class today. Sanghyuk, good luck at your vocal lessons I’m sure your teacher will appreciate the look. Juho, have fun at work looking like a full course meal. Inseong, please don’t be too cocky at school today and Youngbin, you are not allowed to tell people you were forced into this! Hwi! Chanhee! Good luck at school today!”

 

"Wait!" Youngbin called as they all got ready to leave. "Why am I the only one not allowed to mention I was forced into this?" Seokwoo gave him a cocky smile and a wink before ushering him out the doors.

The group split up with plans to meet later. Hwiyoung had given Chanhee a look when the younger boy had opened his mouth to object because of his hagwon. He was skipping, the decision was already made. Taeyang, whose classes didn’t start until a little later, volunteered to walk the two of them to school. They both happily agreed.

 

“So like, are you two doing an opposite day kind of thing, because usually Hwiyoung is the nerd.”

 

“I just wanted to make Hwiyoung unbelievably hot,” Taeyang admitted. Hwiyoung elbowed him. “Not that he wasn't before,” he mumbled.

 

“I can’t wait to see the look on my teacher’s faces. Also, I can’t wait to be called down to the office. I miss going down there on a regular basis,” Chanhee said looking down at his kingly costume with a fond look. “Maybe I can just order them to shut up, you know, as the king.”

 

“Please, please don’t do that,” Hwiyoung begged with a smile. 

 

“Now that I think about it,” Chanhee continued. “You’ve never been called down to the office for anything bad, have you Hwi? This should be fun.”

 

“You know how to deal with the teachers there, so it’s your job to get me out of this spot free.” Chanhee nodded as his new task. 

 

“Just shrug it off,” Taeyang suggested. “I mean you are the bad boy today.” Chanhee agreed with him as they made their way to the front gates of the school. “Don’t bad boys in movies and stuff always flirt with the girls that like them?” Taeyang asked suddenly.

 

“I can promise you that you have no worries about Hwiyoung flirting with girls,” Chanhee commented slyly. Taeyang spoke again, ignoring him. 

 

“So,” he began, meeting Hwiyoung’s eyes with a step forward. “Isn’t this the part where you wink and flirt with me?” Hwiyoung froze in his spot and stared at Taeyang. Was his embarrassment from earlier not enough? What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t think of anything to say to flirt and even if he could, it would be extremely awkward and forced. He didn’t want himself to sound that way. Maybe he could wink? No, that was too weird. He couldn’t leave without doing something!

 

Well, he thought with heat rushing to his cheeks at the idea, I’ve already decided I love him.

 

He took two steps forward and kissed Taeyang on the cheek. He didn’t even wait for Taeyang’s reaction after what he had done, he just grabbed Chanhee’s wrist and pulled the laughing boy with him. 

 

“Thank you for walking us to school!” he shouted back at the blonde nerd. 

 

“See you later babe!” 

 

♦️

 

“I can’t believe you did that!” Chanhee said still laughing as they made their way through the halls. They were getting looks, even more than yesterday. Of course, Hwiyoung’s appearance had the new addition of his face being the color of Chanhee’s outfit.

 

“Shut up. Forget that happened.”

 

“And he called you babe!”

 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he mumbled back embarrassed. They stopped walking as Chanhee broke down laughing.

 

“Wait! He’s done it before? Hwiyoung this is perfect! I can see it now…” he said drifting his voice off like he had traveled into the world inside his head. “Taeyang and Hwiyoung, forever love at first sight!”

 

“Shut up,” Hwiyoung said with an embarrassed laugh as he pushed his friend to the side. He stopped laughing quickly. They both stopped walking.

 

“Well if it isn’t Kang and Kyun.” Chanhee took a step back. Chanhee never took a step back, he always took a step forward. Hwiyoung was supposed to take the step back. Chanhee was supposed to stand in front of him and protect him. Chanhee had always pushed Hwiyoung behind him. Was… was Chanhee scared? After the way the brothers had insulted him last week, was he scared? Their words had affected him enough to make him change his entire appearance so maybe, just maybe that hit him a little harder than he originally thought. That was it. Chanhee didn’t feel like a bad boy anymore. He didn’t feel like he could protect Hwiyoung.

 

Chanhee seemed to realize what he had done and went to step forward but Hwiyoung held his arm out. He pushed his friend back a step lightly and moved in front of him. 

 

Why does Chanhee always have to take the step forward? Hwiyoung asked himself. Chanhee usually took the step forward, but that didn’t mean he always had to. Chanhee took the step back this time. It was Hwiyoung’s turn to take the step forward. 

 

“Hey Hwiyoung!” Sungwoo called from down the halls. He saw Chanhee stiffed out of the corner of his eye at the use of his nickname. “Nice look.” Chanhee’s hand came to the back of his shoulder and his fingers curled around his leather jacket.

 

“Hwi, maybe we should-”

 

“No,” Hwiyoung interrupted his friend in a hushed tone. “I’m not running away again.” 

 

“I thought about what you said last time we met,” Sungwoo said loudly as he walked up to him. Sungwoo walked with confident steps, a sight he wasn’t used to. Sungwoo always trailed behind his brother and waited for orders, but now, now Sungwoo looked like he was leading the attack. Sungmin had already stopped walking behind him. “And I realized.” Hwiyoung watched as the boy pulled his arm back. He tried to step back to avoid it but it was too late. Sungwoo’s fist collided with his face and threw him to the ground. “I don’t need to tell you shit.” Hwiyoung held his hand up to his face and looked at the stains of blood left on his hand. He wiped the rest away from his lip and pushed himself up to his feet. He stepped forward. 

 

He saw the confusion on Sungwoo’s face when he kept walking forward. He pulled his arm back just like the other boy had and threw it at his face. The sound he heard when he hit the boy, it was satisfying. His hand hurt like hell, but the sight of Sungwoo on the floor holding his cheek was the best damn sight Hwiyoung could ever ask to see. He curled his fingers and held his thumb over each joint to crack them, one by one. He started to walk over to the brother that hadn’t yet pulled himself off of the floor when he was pushed into the wall to his right. Sungmin swung his leg over him and pushed his back into the wall hard enough to make his back ache.

 

“You think you’re so tough with this leather jacket?” Sungwoo asked pushing his head back into the wall. Spots of fuzzy blackness filled his vision and the voices around them faded out for a second before returning as if his ears had been popped. “You think you’re-”

 

Hwiyoung reached his hands up and jabbed at Sungmin’s throat. The boy stumbled back as he gasped for air and Hwiyoung took the chance to kick him to the ground. He pushed himself away from the wall and reached for Sungmin as the other brother grabbed him by his neck. He was pinned to the wall in seconds. There were two hands around his throat, Sungwoo’s hands to be exact. They had been in a similar position not too long ago, hadn’t they?

 

“Now tell me this, Hwiyoung,” Sungwoo demanded. Hwiyoung reached up with his hands to push Sungwoo away but the boy had longer arms then him. He always went for the arms or the chest, Sungwoo was stronger than him, so he wouldn’t be able to push him away like that. Weak spots, weak spots… “Why are you all of a sudden so cocky?”

 

“I’m not cocky,” he said looking Sungwoo in the face with a smile. It wasn’t a forced smile to keep up an act, or a happy smile as if he was happy with his current situation. It was down right sadistic. “I’m just done with all of your bullshit,” he finished lifting his leg high enough to hit Sungwoo right between the legs. The boy pulled his hands away to cup at his area and he pushed him aside like he was useless trash. 

 

Sungmin had finally managed to pull himself to his feet and just when he looked ready to swing again, Hwiyoung pushed the palm of his hand under the boy’s nose. Sungmin screamed as blood gushed out of his nose and Hwiyoung spit on him. Some of the students that had gathered around them voiced concern for the brothers and others cheered Hwiyoung on. They had their phones and cameras out but none of them cared enough to help. 

 

Sungmin pushed his leg out and before he could move, Hwiyoung was swept onto the ground. He felt his bottom hit the hard floor and the pulse of pain that seemed to resonate in his back area. He was able to catch himself with his hands before his head hit the ground, but now his palms were red and stinging from the impact. Sungmin made his way on top of Hwiyoung and punched him in the face. He finally understood what the definition of ‘seeing stars’ meant. The spots of light left in his vision looked like nothing more than stars in the night sky.

 

“Stop trying so hard,” Sungmin encouraged. Hwiyoung reached his hands up to grab at Sungmin’s arms. He had one shot at this and if he failed, he wasn’t sure he would have any ideas left. He pushed his left leg up and twisted Sungmin’s right wrist so he fell to the side, allowing Hwiyoung to put himself on the top. He punched Sungmin the same way he had punched him.

 

“Fuck off,” he said punching him again. He could see the blood on his knuckles and he wasn’t sure if it was from Sungmin’s bleeding nose or his own knuckles at this point. “I’m done letting you use me as your personal toy!” he screamed bringing his fist down on Sungmin’s face again. He didn’t care about the pain in his hand, or the fact that his ears were ringing so loud he could barely hear himself talk. “I’m not your punching bag! I’m not an object you can abuse whenever you feel like it so fuck the hell off!”

 

“What the hell?” Hwiyoung felt himself being pulled off of Sungmin, his arms being pinned behind his back with a set of hands on his shoulders. He watched as Sungmin was pulled to his feet in a much gentler way. “Youngkyun? What is going on here?”

 

“He started it!” Sungwoo screamed at the several teachers that had shown up to break up the fight. 

 

“Oh yeah,” Hwiyoung taunted back. “Real mature.” The teacher pulled Hwiyoung to face him and looked around his face. He was sure he looked like a disaster right now. 

 

“The three of you need to come with us, right now,” the teacher decided after looking over his face closely. 

 

“Wait!” Chanhee said pulling himself off of the floor. When had Chanhee fallen to the floor? Had he tried to help? Hwiyoung had been so busy focusing on his own rage that he hadn’t even glanced over at his best friend. “I’m coming,” he decided, trailing behind the teacher and Hwiyoung.

 

“Chanhee,” the teacher sighed, dragging his hand over his face, “I know you and Youngkyun are close, but this had nothing to do with you.” Chanhee shrugged and Hwiyoung watched as his friend walked over to Sungwoo and punched him across the face. While Sungwoo coughed blood out of his mouth, Chanhee beamed at the teacher like nothing was wrong. 

 

“Can I come now?” he asked with an innocent looking smile. The teacher rolled his eyes and continued walking Hwiyoung to the office, Chanhee trailing close behind. 

 

The four of them were left outside of the teacher’s room to sit and reflect before getting lectured and punished. Of course, they were given clear instructions to not talk to each other or engage in any way, but that was a stupid order to give without a teacher with them to montier that they did and said.

 

“This floor is uncomfortable,” Sungmin mumbled shifting where he sat again.

 

“Your face is uncomfortable to look at but we all have to deal with our issues,” Chanhee bit back without even a second to breathe.

 

“Fuck off,” Sungmin threw back.

 

“Oh, how creative,” Chanhee responded spitefully. 

 

“Like your style?” Sungwoo retorted.

 

“Oh you like it? I think I might have to change then.”

 

“You’ll look like a five-year-old either way.”

 

“Thanks. At least I don’t look like I’m already past my thirties like you two.” There was a silence after Chanhee’s last comment and he smirked at Hwiyoung who smiled back at him. He leaned over to Hwiyoung and cupped his hand around his ear. “You know, maybe you should have waited to pull a stunt like that until we were in a more private place, like you know, not in public for everyone to see.”

 

“Why?” Hwiyoung whispered back. “The more witnesses the better.”

 

“Yeah,” Chanhee agreed. “Except you hurt the brothers more than they hurt you this time and that's all the teachers have to go off of. You could get in serious trouble for this. What if you get demerits? What if they call your parents, oh no! Hwiyoung what if they call your parents?”

 

“I’m fine if they call my parents,” he said shrugging the idea off. 

 

“Okay, but I’m not,” Chanhee whispered glaring at him. “Your parents scare me and look at the way we are both dressed. Their going to assume I did something. They already hate me.”

 

“What are you two girls gossiping about over there?” Sungwoo asked cheekily.

 

“Your fat mother,” Chanhee replied without missing a beat, flipping his middle finger up at the brothers. He cupped his hand back up to Hwiyoung’s ear. “I’m serious though. I know you’re pumped with energy but remember, this affects a lot of how the rest of your year plays out. They could give you a pass for your perfect record but you might drop as class rep. Think of this like a court case,” he suggested. “You aren’t fighting to prove them guilty, you’re fighting to prove yourself innocent. I’m your lawyer. Thing One and Thing Two are the prosecutors. They’re going to try to prove you’re at fault but we will make sure you are seen as innocent, therefore making them guilty. Understand?” Hwiyoung nodded.

 

“If you never pay attention in school how do you know this much about how courts work?” he asked confused. Chanhee shrugged. 

 

“I’ve been here more times than I can count,” he admitted. “Do you know how many of those times I’ve almost gotten sued?” Hwiyoung smiled at his friend. “I’m serious though. Don’t do anything stupid. Whether you like it or not, you still need that good image. As Hwiyoung or not.”

 

The door between the two groups opened and a teacher Hwiyoung recognised as the new intern motioned for them to come inside. Chanhee tugged Hwiyoung up and pulled them inside first. At least he felt like he had less to hide walking in first. They were brought over to a desk with two teachers seated in their padded spinning chairs. The first teacher was Mr. Shim, Hwiyoung’s homeroom teacher. Mr. Shim wasn’t an old guy, rather he had a very nice face. He had no stubble and didn’t look a day over 25. The good news was that he had never done anything bad with Chanhee in front of him so Mr. Shim would likely argue that he was a responsible student with a motive. The even better news was that Mr. Shim didn’t know the brothers as far as he knew. They weren’t much for notable community work. The other teacher was Mr. Jo, the president. That, he knew, was not as good. Mr. Jo didn’t like Hwiyoung’s mother, like most people. It was obvious that the president of the school found her obnoxious and over concerned with his academics and school record. She came by the school frequently and after two years, Hwiyoung found himself apologizing to the man for her visits. Of course, that was no reason for the man to dislike him, but he had no other impression of him other than his ocasion visits to the office to help other teachers and the dreaded visits from his mother. Mr. Jo was probably aware that he was the head of his class but that said nothing for his personality. The worse part was that Mr. Jo was buddy-buddy with the brothers, some friendship between their parents. 

 

“What is going on here?” 

 

“Youngkyun started it! You should have seen him push me to the floor-”

 

“Are you kidding me? I would have just walked right past you if you hadn’t-”

 

“Shut up! Both of you!” Mr. Jo yelled at him and Sungmin. Mr. Jo looked to Sungmin first.

 

“Please, tell us your side of the story.”

 

“Woah, woah, woah,” Chanhee said stepping forward. “Why does this asshole get to tell his side first? You’re basically saying you already believe Top-Of-The-Class over here is in the wrong,” he said avoiding the use of his real name. Chanhee had a point, though. Mr. Jo was clearly biased.

 

“And what do you suggest I do? Let Mr. Kim tell his side first? Then I am being biased toward him,” Mr. Jo countered. The old guy looked back over to his favorite pupil. Sungmin coughed and straightened his uniform.

 

“I was just walking down the hallway,” he started innocently, “when Youngkyun comes up to me and demands that I stop treating him like garbage. I mean, yes, I accidentally bumped into him the other day and some of his notes were covered in dirt and mud, but I apologized. I-”

 

“Okay, okay,” Chanhee said interrupting again. “This is complete bullshit!”

 

“Mr. Kang, please be quiet.”

 

“I’m just calling out the bullshit!” he stated. He turned to Mr. Shim. “Hwiyoung is in your class. How many times has he ever showed aggression towards another student?” Hwiyoung grabbed Chanhee’s wrist and pulled him back. 

 

“Shut up,” he whispered. “Remember Hyunwoo?” The look of realization dawned on his friend’s face.

 

“Never until this week,” Mr. Shim stated. “He screamed at a kid in class yesterday and apparently he was pretty harsh about it,” Mr. Shim said after admitting he wasn’t there for the actual event, but heard rumors from the kids. Hwiyoung smacked Chanhee on the back of the head. 

 

“Okay!” Chanhee said stepping forward again. “But that kid spread a video of him around school and he got called a walking disease in the hallways.” Sungmin laughed and Chanhee made sure to send him a stern glare. “People kept running away from him and calling him out because of his sexuality. Don’t tell me that kid didn’t deserve to be put in his place after that!”

 

“I saw the video,” Sungwoo admitted. “Uploaded anonymously,” he added. “There was no proof that kid uploaded it.” 

 

“He was the only one there at the time to take the video that knew!” Hwiyoung retorted. "And he even admitted it!"

 

“Fine! Youngkyun. What happened from your side of the story then?” Mr. Jo asked irritated by the arguments that clearly wouldn’t be reaching a final decision anytime soon. 

 

“Sungwoo came up to me in the halls and punched me in the face.”

 

“Because you threatened me last week!”

 

“That wasn’t even a threat!”

 

“I’m sorry, last week?” Chanhee interrupted. 

 

“He held me up against the wall and nearly choked me to death!” Hwiyoung screamed, eyes burning a hole into Sungwoo’s. 

 

“Oh well forgive me,” Chanhee said with a mocking tone. “But that would have been nice to know!”

 

“You met Kyun in the halls without me?” Sungmin asked pulling Sungwoo’s shoulder back. 

 

“Oh you poor things,” Chanhee taunted. “You have to be in a pair to do your dirty work!”

 

“Everybody shut up!” Mr. Jo yelled. Nobody even batted an eye at him.

 

“You threatened me!” Sungwoo yelled at Hwiyoung.

 

“I made a vague comment on something you had said to me!” Hwiyoung retorted. “So who really threatened who here?” 

 

“Like you have any room to argue about threats!” Chanhee called back at them.

 

“Oh like you haven’t made plenty to us!” Sungmin screamed back at him. Their voices were getting louder and louder by the second. 

 

“It’s called self defense you dumbass!” 

 

“Defending yourself against what? Your shit ass idea of a personality?” 

 

“Stuff it up your ass, fucker!” 

 

“Everybody shut the hell up!” Mr. Jo screamed clamming his hands on the desk. The room went silent, not even a paper moved. Every teacher stopped to turn their heads and all movement in the room froze. “What the hell has gotten into you all? Chanhee I understand, but you three are the top three in your class!” Chanhee nudged Hwiyoung in the side and smiled as if he was proud of his accomplishment. “I want this to stop right now!” he ordered sternly. Hwiyoung looked over to his friend and watched as Chanhee’s eyes widened in his head. He shook his hand towards Hwiyoung.

 

“I just realized something!” Chanhee called out in the middle of Mr. Jo’s talk.

 

“Chanhee, be quiet or-”

 

“No, listen! Hwi! You said Sungwoo met you in the halls?” Hwiyoung nodded. “Cameras! Hallway cameras!” Hwiyoung widened his eyes and looked over to see Sungwoo doing the same. “That day they dragged you behind the school too! When we rewrote your notes! I bet the camera’s caught them pushing you! And the fight in the halls last week! Hwiyoung! Cameras!” Chanhee grabbed Hwiyoung’s shoulders and shook him back and forth excitedly before turning to Mr. Jo. “You need to check camera footage, everywhere. I swear to you, there is proof that this boy had every reason in the world to fight back! And the kids in the hallways! They all had their phones out! Any one of them could have caught Sungwoo starting the fight on video.”

 

“Chanhee!” Hwiyoung screamed wrapping his arms around the boy and spinning him around. “You’re a freaking genius!” Mr. Shim grabbed a notebook off of his desk and looked at Hwiyoung. 

 

“What would you like to argue?” he asked. Hwiyoung smiled, a truly genuine smile for once.

 

“Student violence,” he decided, remembering that the sexual assault attempts would never be found on any camera. “I want to argue Choi Sungmin and Choi Sungwoo's student violence! If there is enough evidence to press charges, then I would like to.” Chanhee jumped up and down on his side and kissed his cheek. 

 

“Yes! That’s my boy! Woo!” Hwiyoung smiled at his friend and turned his face to the brothers. He smirked at their frowns and watched as chanhee folded his arms over his chest.

 

“Ha!” he yelled. “Beat that you pieces of shit!”


	13. Cut Up Futures

“Guys! Guys!” Chanhee screamed running into FNC, shoes squeaking against the floor in a hurry. “We got them! The brothers! The school is investigating them for student violence!” Taeyang shot out of his seat and ran over to Hwiyoung. Hwiyoung placed his hands on the blonde’s shoulders as he picked him up and swung him around. 

 

“Oh my God! Hwiyoung I’m so happy for you!” he said placing him back onto his feet. He grabbed the sides of Hwiyoung’s head and kissed the tip of his nose with the cutest smile. He was so excited that he couldn’t even be bothered to be embarrassed at this point. He smiled at the pretty blonde in front of him and hugged him. 

 

“Tae, I’m so happy! I’m so fucking happy!” Taeyang wrapped his arms around him and placed his head in the crook of Hwiyoung’s neck. 

 

“I’m not even going to ask why your face is scratched and your knuckles are scraped to hell,” he stated. “Because if you’re happy then I’m happy and Hwi, I’m so damn proud of you!” 

 

“The next round is on me!” Youngbin called. “To celebrate Hwiyoung’s freedom from those assholes we call humans!” Everyone cheered and that’s when Hwiyoung noticed that Seokwoo wasn’t there. He opened his mouth to ask but got distracted when the bell above the door jingled. Seokwoo entered, heels and all.

 

“Crossdresser!” someone screamed from outside. 

 

“Yes, thank you,” Seokwoo called over his shoulder as his heels clicked against the floor. “I appreciate it!” Seokwoo made his way over to the group as if walking in high heels was nothing but normal for him. “I have to say,” he began, “I am rocking these heels. I could walk down a runway in these at this point!” He spun around and placed a hand on his hip, posing like the star model of a photoshoot. He changed poses and flipped his hair. 

 

Youngbin walked past him with everybody’s orders in his head and pressed his finger against Seokwoo’s back as he walked. Seokwoo fell.

 

“Seokwoo! Hwi and Chanhee got the brothers at their school filed for student violence!” 

 

“Fuck yeah!” Seokwoo said jumping up to his feet. He towered feet above Hwiyoung but hugged him nonetheless. Hwiyoung felt tiny even standing next to him at this point. “I feel like an over-emotionally proud mother,” he said fanning his face dramatically. 

 

“Wow, you really are a mom,” Jaeyoon commented snuggled up against Inseong in the booth. 

 

“Then as the mother do I get to tell baby stories about Inseong to embarrass him?” he asked running over to the table.

 

“Mom! No!”

 

“There was this one time in my first year of college. Inseong thought he was cool enough that he could ride his skateboard down the roads even though he had never ridden one before.”

 

“Oh god, please no.”

 

“I was standing right there when he tripped and fell flat on his face! I guess he thought he was invincible with those skinny jeans on but they ripped right down the middle of his crotch. And let me tell you, I don’t think he has gone a day without wearing underwear since then.”

 

“Seokwoo! What the fuck?” Inseong yelled as Jaeyoon started cracking up next to him. Chanhee let out a high pitched laugh and slid in next to Juho. Hwiyoung sat next to him laughing so hard there were tears coming out of his eyes. 

 

The group of boys spent about an hour and a half in FNC before the place got busy. They decided to give up their table for people who would actually use it and opted for walking around the streets instead. They hadn’t had a specific destination in mind, instead they just walked and talked down the streets on what Sanghyuk called a ‘journey.’ At some point, Chanhee had jumped on Youngbin’s back calling the old man his royal servant. Seokwoo argued that Youngbin had to carry him because he was dressed as the superhero. Inseong and Jaeyoon, of course, walked hand in hand like the gross couple they were. They had started skipping as a joke at one point and had bumped into an old guy that referred to Jaeyoon as a ‘miss.’ Sanghyuk and Juho had started beatboxing at one point and Taeyang tried to dance along to the beat but he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Everybody had laughed at his ‘nerdiness’ and ‘clumsiness.’ The group of them had gotten several dirty looks and stares as they made their way down the streets and Seokwoo had gotten called a crossdresser more times than anyone could count but he didn’t seem upset about it. If anything, he seemed proud to be able to rock heels the way he could. They certainly did look like an odd group though, it made sense that people looked. The drag queen, the superhero, the king, the gentleman, the emo kid, the bad boy, the nerd, the hot boy, and the girl that fell for him. Yep, they certainly were an interesting group.

 

“I have a question,” Sanghyuk stated as he turned around to face the rest of the group. Everyone came to a stop, blocking part of the sidewalk they were standing on. “Seokwoo, why are you a movie major?”

 

“It’s called cinematography,” Inseong threw in with an eye roll. Seokwoo shrugged.

 

“Because you talked about how much you like fashion and I know this is like a family thing or whatever, but why haven’t you just switched to a fashion major yet? I mean you’re rich enough to afford it and you clearly know a lot about it.” Chanhee nodded and poked at Seokwoo’s arm with the tip of his finger. 

 

“Sanghyuk’s right. You seem so happy when you get to work with fashion.” The older boy sighed as he threw his arm around Chanhee’s shoulders. 

 

“You should know this because you’re in high school but switching majors is kind of frowned upon. Haven’t they taught you that? Changing majors is seen as a bad thing to most people because it makes you look indecisive.”

 

“You’re 21 fucking years old,” Juho threw out. “You’re allowed to be indecisive. Those 50 year old fucks shouldn’t get to control your life.”

 

“You tell him, Juho,” Jaeyoon cheered on with a smile on his face. 

 

“I think you should switch your major,” Youngbin decided. The group looked over to him and Sanghyuk shoved him lightly.

 

“Didn’t you hear him? He just said that switching was bad.”

 

“Yeah, and did you hear Juho?” he countered back. Youngbin turned to Seokwoo and put a hand on his shoulder. “Do whatever the hell you want,” he encouraged. “Don’t spend the next two years at college working with videos when we all know that’s not what you want. Who the fuck cares if you switch majors, at least it shows that you realized what you truly want to do.” Seokwoo nodded and twirled his fingers around the ends of his dress. 

 

“What if I’m not good at fashion though?”

 

“Seokwoo are you kidding me?” Hwiyoung asked astonished. “The first time I met you, you made Chanhee look amazing. You made me look amazing, and those times you were barely trying! You clearly love fashion, I mean you made your entire stage about it. Don’t hold yourself back because you’re scared of what other people will think.” Chanhee clapped his hands together for Hwiyoung’s small speech and Seokwoo nodded.

 

“Should I really switch majors then?” he asked. Everybody nodded. Seokwoo nodded. “Should I really? After school ends, this summer?”

 

“Yes! Switch majors!” Taeyang cheered on. 

 

“What about you, Hwi and Chanhee? This is your last year of high school right?” the two boys nodded. “What are you going to do next?”

 

“Probably small jobs,” Chanhee admitted. “I’ve never wanted to go to college and with my grades I never could-”

 

“That’s not true. I’m sure if you tried, I mean really tried, you could go to college. Don’t let that stop you,” Youngbin said with a smile. 

 

“Thanks dad but I never really had an interest in college anyways.” Chanhee looked up at the sky and smiled. “I’ll probably end up working three day jobs at a time to make money for myself. There isn’t really anything I want to do. I kind of just want to live a normal life, you know, doing the jobs nobody else wants to.” Youngbin nodded and smiled at the boy.

 

“That’s actually pretty cool, the whole odd job thing. Just remember, we’re always around for when you need to let off steam. Even if you’re tired from your three day jobs.” Chanhee smiled and wrapped his arm around Seokwoo’s back who hadn’t removed his arm from Chanhee’s shoulders. Seokwoo looked to Hwiyoung.

 

“Believe it or not,” he admitted, “I don’t have anything I specifically want to go to college for. My dad says that I have to start working with him at his company this summer to prepare for my future there, but I don’t want to, to be honest.”

 

“Then don’t.”

 

“Jaeyoon, it’s kind of hard to just-”

 

“No, I’m serious, you and Tae. Both of you. Just say no. Since we are on this topic,” he said bringing his hands to his hips, “I think you should both just man up and tell your parents to fuck off because it’s your life, not theirs to control. You can make your own decisions, you weren’t born to take over companies and do the family line of work like a servant. You’re a human and you can make your own choices.” Hwiyoung looked over at the blonde boy by his side and tilted his head.

 

“Tae?”

 

“My father wants me to move to China with him this summer to work on business projects with him. He calls it the family line of work and kicked me out of the house when I started taking dance classes instead.” Taeyang sighed and placed his hand into Hwiyoung’s. Their fingers curled together and Taeyang smiled at him. “My brother was supposed to take my place and work with him instead, but when he said he didn’t want to either, I stepped up to agree. This was months ago, way before I knew you. I’ll probably have to leave for China and stay there for a few months at the start of summer.”

 

“You have to leave?”

 

“I’m sorry Hwi.” He felt himself unconsciously lick his lips. His head tilted downwards and his fingers curled around Taeyang’s hand. Why was he so upset? It was only for a few months, there was no reason to be upset. But he was. He was so incredibly upset and he knew exactly why. He loved Taeyang, he didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t want Taeyang to do something he didn’t want to, and he didn’t want him to have to do it alone. 

 

“Do you really have to leave?” he asked. He hated the way his voice cracked and he hated how sad he knew he sounded. 

 

“My brother doesn’t deserve to go just because I don’t want to. I’ll leave sometime during the summer and I’ll be back in a few months, just a few.” He felt Taeyang’s hand come up to his cheek and he hated how vulnerable he was. He didn’t want Taeyang to leave, it wasn’t fair. 

 

“This is why both of you should stand up for yourselves,” Jaeyoon said. “Hwiyoung, I see in your eyes that you want more from life than just a business position, but if you don’t say anything you’ll be stuck with that and nothing more. Tae, if you don't say anything then you’ll be forced to leave every single one of your friends and stop dancing for however long you’re gone for. You and your brother, both of you, just tell him no.”

 

“I’m going to do it,” Hwiyoung decided immediately. He looked Taeyang in the eyes and grabbed the hand from his cheek with his free hand. “I’m going to do it, so you should too. I don’t want you to leave me- us.” 

 

“But Hwi you-”

 

“I don’t care. I’m telling him no. I don’t want to and neither do you.” He reached his hand down to grab the pendant of the necklace around his neck. He watched Taeyang’s eyes follow it and smiled at him. “Last time I checked, the sun doesn’t revolve around the Earth. So why should you revolve around your dad’s dumb expectations?”

 

♦️

 

“Fuck,” Chanhee whispered. “We have a problem.”

 

“Fuck,” Hwiyoung whispered back, realizing the problem. The light in Hwiyoung’s room was on. There was no way in hell he was getting up that ladder and into his room unnoticed. Chanhee slapped him on the back of his head. 

 

“You couldn’t have answered their texts?” he asked in a hushed scream. 

 

“I had my phone turned off!” he admitted. If he couldn’t go through his window, that only left one option: the front door. “I can’t use the front door,” he stated.

 

“Not dressed like that you can’t,” Chanhee agreed. “Your father might just kill you if you walk in like that. Here! Give me those clothes and change into the clothes you left in!”

 

“And what, walk in the house in my pajamas?”

 

“It’s better than how you’re dressed right now. You can just say you-”

 

“Shit.”

 

“What now?”

 

“I left my uniform out on my desk.”

 

“You dumbass!” Chanhee slapped the back of his head again and Hwiyoung could feel the dread washing over him. He was completely and utterly screwed. “How about I walk in with-”

 

“No way in hell, they already hate you.” Chanhee pushed him forward. 

 

“You are going to die in there.” Hwiyoung nodded and turned to Chanhee with his arm outstretched.

 

“Nice knowing you brother,” he said with a sad look. 

 

“Nice knowing you, brother,” Chanhee responded grabbing his hand and giving it a firm shake. And so, he was off to his grave. With any luck, he could run to the stairs and change before anyone noticed. But of course, when did Hwiyoung ever have luck? His first mistake was forgetting how loud the front door was. His second mistake was forgetting that his parents always sat at the dining table with the perfect view of the front door. His third mistake was not just texting his parents that he would stay over Chanhee’s for the night.

 

“Kim Youngkyun!” He felt his shoulders react by scrunching up and he felt the way his arms and legs stiffened. He was in for some real shit. “What on earth are you wearing?”

 

“I’m sorry mom, I- uh.” His fourth mistake was not thinking of an excuse before hand. 

 

He felt the pain before his brain could register anything else. His cheek stung like a thousand little thorns were poking out of it. He held his hand up to his cheeks and pulled his lips in. His mother had slapped him.

 

“Youngkyun, you need to get your act together. You have been missing hagwon almost every week and now, now you show up at the house looking like this? You should be studying! You should be at yaja preparing for your tests and doing your homework.” He couldn’t respond. How could he? His mother had actually slapped him. Of course, it’s not like he didn’t do anything to deserve it, he did plenty. But then again, did he really deserve to be slapped? “I want you to stop spending time with that low life friend from now on. I forbid it! You have a curfew now, you can do your studying at home and-”

 

“Why do you always assume it’s because of Chanhee?” he asked quietly. “Every time something goes wrong, you blame it on him.” He felt a tear slide down his stinging cheek. He felt another, and another. “It’s like you think I would be a better person if it weren’t for him, like I would be the perfect model son you’ve always wanted.” He took a step back as his mother reached out for him.

 

“Youngkyun, what are you-”

 

“I have worked my ass off for years trying to appease you because I knew you would be happy with nothing less than perfection. I had to be top of the class and I had to be that perfect son.” He glared up at his mother through his tears and watched as his father stood from his seat behind her. “You blame everything on Chanhee like all of it is his fault.”

 

“Sit down Youngkyun. We need to talk.”

 

“No! We don’t need to talk. Everytime you want to talk about something it’s always about you talking,” Hwiyoung spat at his father. “I don’t want to work at your company, I never did. You never even asked me what I wanted! You just demanded that this was how my life was going to plan out! Fuck that!”

 

“Youngkyun, calm-”

 

“Stop calling me that!” he yelled. He felt another slap across his face and faced his head away from the man in front of him. His cheeks were stained with his tears and he knew his eyes were red and bloodshot. His jaw hurt and his lips felt dry and cracked. 

 

“Stop saying useless things. Where do you expect to go in life without us?” his father lectured. “You will come to realize that the company is the best thing for you and-”

 

“You shouldn’t get to decide what’s best for me,” he mumbled under his breath.

 

“Speak up.”

 

“I said, You shouldn’t get to decide what’s best for me. You don’t even know me!” 

 

“Of course we know you, you’re our son,” his mother argued. 

 

“What are the names of all my friends? What’s my favorite color? What is my favorite meal? Where do I spend most of my afternoons? What is the worst thing that has happened to me at school this week? You can’t answer a single one of those questions, every parent should be able to answer those questions. You should know about my life, or you should at least care enough to ask. But you don’t. So stop telling me how to live my life because you’re not the fucking bosses of me.”

 

“Youngkyun, you are going to school tomorrow. I will escort you there myself. I will pick you up at the end of the day and you will come straight home to study. You need to stay at the top of the class, like you always have. No phone, no friends. Stop trying to pretend you’re rebellious and just do as you always have.”

 

He ran up to his room. He slammed the door behind him and he threw his backpack at the wall. What was so hard to understand? Why was his life controlled by others? Why didn’t people listen to him? He threw his chair onto the ground, then his pillows, then his blankets. His folders, his books. Everything, everything ended up thrown somewhere but he didn’t care. 

 

20:04 YoungYoung: I’m not going to be able to walk with you to school tomorrow.

20:06 Chanboy: Why not?

20:06 Chanboy: What happened?

20:07 YoungYoung: Everything. No phone, rides to and from school, no you, no sf9. 

20:08 Chanboy: Did you tell your dad about not wanting to work at the company?

20:09 YoungYoung: yes.

20:10 YoungYoung: He didn't listen to me. Are you shocked? 

 

He threw the emergency phone onto his bed and fell back onto it. He just wanted people to understand him, but this was turning out like shit. 

 

♦️

 

For once, Hwiyoung didn’t want the school day to end. He would have rather stayed in class all day, even studying in yaja. He wanted anything other than going home. He knew his dad wouldn’t arrive at the school for another half an hour, which gave him just enough time to meet Chanhee first. That was the only good part about the end of the day. 

 

He walked down the first flight of stairs and the next and just as he stepped out of the door he was pushed to the ground. A rock dug into his palm when he landed and it hurt like hell. He lifted his hand up to examine it before looking up at who had knocked him over.

 

“Just stop it,” Hwiyoung said standing up. He brushed the dirt off of his uniform and went to walk through the brothers but they held out their arms to stop him. He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fuck off, I’m in a bad mood.”

 

“Oh, our apologies,” Sungmin said pushing him back to the ground. “I’m sorry you had a bad day. It’s not like you’re being investigated by the school or anything, but if you had a bad day then the world must be ending.”

 

“Have you ever thought that the investigation is your own damn faults?” he asked irritated. He pushed himself to his feet again but Sungmin was quicker than him. The brother pushed him to the ground and held his foot over his chest, his backpack discarded several feet away from him. Hwiyoung almost felt proud of himself looking at Sungmin above him. Bruises covered his face and neck, yet for some strange reason, they also covered his upper arms. That was weird, had Hwiyoung hit him there too? 

 

“Sungwoo. Shirt, off.” Sungwoo walked over to him and ripped the fabric of his uniform away from his chest. Something else he found weird, which he probably should have cared less about in his current situation, was the bruises lining Sungwoo’s face and neck. He couldn’t remember hitting Sungwoo as hard as he hit Sungmin.

 

“Stop it, stop it,” he demanded as Sungwoo ripped the material away. He lifted up his arms to grab at Sungwoo but he couldn’t reach him properly from his angle on the ground. The sleeves tore, the buttons popped off, the tie was thrown to the side. Sungmin only stepped off of him for a second before harshly pressing his boot down on his bare chest. 

 

“Back to begging?” Sungmin asked with a sadistic smile. “Come on, show us how tough you are. You fought back yesterday, do that again. Come on, give us a show, Hwiyoung.” Sungmin motioned for his brother again and pointed at Hwiyoung’s arm. 

 

“It looks bare,” Sungwoo said with disappointment dripping from his lips. “We should decorate it.” Hwiyoung moved his arm to push Sungmin’s leg off but it was too late, Sungwoo had his arm pinned down. He saw the glint of mental slip out of the boy’s pocket and he screamed. 

 

“Help me!” he screamed. Sungmin leaned down and grabbed the dirt covered tie, shoving it in his mouth. He held his hand over his mouth for extra measure and Hwiyoung screamed even louder. He kicked his legs and he reached out with his other arm to push Sungwoo away but Sungmin already had his boot pressed against his other wrist. 

 

“What design should I add to his perfect body?” Sungwoo asked his brother. “What do you think?” he turned his attention to Hwiyoung and he shook as much as he could. He tried to get himself free in any way he could but they had him completely pinned down. “I know,” Sungwoo said pressing the switchblade into his arm. 

 

Hwiyoung felt the cold metal dig into his skin and he screamed out as loud as he could. He felt his throat becoming scratchy but that hardly registered in his mind with the unbearable pain of the knife in his arm. He screamed again and again and again, but it didn’t seem like anybody heard him. The blade dug into his arm again and again and again and he held his eyes shut as tightly as he possibly could to block out the pain. It hurt so much, it hurt so damn much. 

 

“Listen closely Kyun,” Sungwoo said holding the knife under his chin. It was cold but he didn’t care much with his arm still throbbing in pain. “Drop down in the ranks. This isn’t a game anymore.”

 

“Maybe this isn’t working,” Sungmin decided. “Should we pay Chanhee a visit? He seemed so excited to see us the last time we were together. I’m sure Chanhee wouldn’t mind taking your place?” 

 

“Uk oph!” Hwiyoung screamed through Sungmin’s hand. “Lee anhee alom!” He hated the stupid tie, he hated the brothers. He hated the knife and the cuts he couldn’t see on his arm. 

 

“But Chanhee has already put up with us enough, don’t you think?” Sungmin asked his brother. Sungwoo nodded.

 

“What about that boy of yours, Taeyang?” 

 

“No!”

 

“Oh, yes. What about him? Surely you wouldn’t mind if he took your place?” He didn’t care how much his arm hurt at this point, he just wanted them gone. Not Taeyang, not Taeyang.

 

“Stop it, now.” Hwiyoung opened his eyes and cried in relief when the knife was lifted from his arm.

 

“Hey!" Sungmin called to a distance. Hwiyoung was just relived for the momentary break from the knife. "What are you-”

 

“I met your dad outside. He’s waiting for you in his car by the way,” the familiar voice of his best friend stated. “Not a very nice guy. I tried to make conversation but he wasn’t up for much talking.”

 

“Fuck off Kang.”

 

“I saw the bruises on his hands. And now that I’m looking at you, I can see the bruises too. Those aren’t from Hwi, are they?” There was a thick silence and Hwiyoung tried to focus on what Chanhee said but his arm hurt so much, it was so hard. “Does your dad hit you? Does he beat you because of your placement in school? I’m sure that’s not the only reason, but you’re supposed to be number one and number two, aren’t you? But Hwiyoung is number one, so that’s a little frustrating. Is that why you stole his notes years ago? Is that why you pushed him around and made him so uncomfortable? Were you hoping that he would drop down a few places?” He felt Sungmin’s leg lift from his chest but he couldn’t seem to find the energy to pull himself up. It hurt, it hurt so much. “And then Sungwoo messed up. You two finally got caught. In a few days, the school will call in the parents and talk to them about the whole situation, but I assume your father already knew yesterday, didn’t he?”

 

“This isn’t a joke-”

 

“I know it isn’t,” Chanhee stated easily. “But just because you are hurt, doesn’t give you the right to hurt others in any context. If you really wanted the first and second place, you should have worked harder for it. Your failure to do so gives you no right to take your anger out on Hwiyoung. Your dad is the chairman of a huge company isn’t he? How do you think he will feel when the secret gets out that he abuses you?”

 

“You can’t-”

 

“I can and I will if you don’t fuck the hell off. It’s called blackmailing. I know it’s cruel, but what the fuck would you call what you’ve been doing to Hwi? If you stop, I stop. If you touch him one more time, I accidently press the send button. So get the hell away from us.”

 

He couldn’t focus enough to see where the brothers went, but he had enough sense to hear them walking away. It was the first time they had walked away without winning, but Hwiyoung certainly didn’t feel like a winner. 

 

“Hwi!” Chanhee called as he ran over. He watched the boy fall to his knees above him and pick up his head. “What the fuck happened to your arm?” He turned his head to the right slightly and looked at the carving on his arm. He gagged a little at the sight and bit his lip. Sungwoo. Sungwoo had carved half of his name into his arm with a fucking pocket knife. 

 

“Give me your knife,” Hwiyoung demanded. 

 

“Hwiyoung, I don’t think that’s-”

 

“Give me the fucking knife!” Chanhee swung his bag off of his shoulders and pulled the piece of metal out. He reached for it and grabbed it from Chanhee’s hands. 

 

“Hwiyoung, Hwiyoung what are you- HWIYOUNG!” It was too late for Chanhee to stop him as he popped the pocket knife open and drew a big slash across his arm. Chanhee ripped the knife from his hands as Hwiyoung screamed and pulled his uniform off. He took the white fabric in his hands and pressed it against his arm, only making him scream louder. The pain, it hurt so much. It stung and it burnt at the same time and he wanted nothing more than to bite through his own teeth to make the pain stop. “What the fuck?!”

 

“I just want it gone-”

 

“Not like this you don’t. Jesus Hwi! For God’s sake, the wound will heal.”

 

“It’ll scar.” 

 

“Sungwoo didn’t cut deep enough. If there is a scar then we can get you a fucking tattoo to cover it up. Don’t cut over it though! It won’t make it disappear.” Chanhee looked around for a second before pulling Hwiyoung to his feet. “Okay, let’s go.”

 

“My dad…”

 

“We will walk by your dad’s car so he can see the situation and then he will watch us walk away to my house. Okay?”

 

Chanhee pulled him along with him, both of them shirtless. Chanhee carried both backpacks on his back and held his uniform against Hwiyoung’s bleeding arm. He felt bad for not helping, but he didn’t have enough effort to care beyond feeling bad. His arm fucking hurt and he felt dizzy.

 

“Youngkyun!” The car door slammed and he saw Chanhee smile at the man from the corner of his eye. 

 

“Sorry sir, I know he’s under house arrest, but I am going to have to take him back to my place. It seems that between your carelessness and your ignorance, you were too stupid to realize how rough your son has it at school. So, I am going to take him to my house to stop the bleeding. You aren’t welcome there. I’ll walk him home later. Have a good day. Bye-bye.”

 

Hwiyoung didn’t spare a look back at his father as they walked. He expected the man to pull him back or, at the very least, call out and scream. He did none of those things. His father didn’t say a word as his friend, which the man despised, dragged him away shirtless with a blood soaked uniform pressed to his arm. He said nothing. 

 

Chanhee pulled him along with him and he grunted as the fabric rubbed against the cuts. His friend gave a hushed apology and rushed him down the streets. They didn’t take a bus, of course. They would be surprised if someone let them on the bus in their current situation. People passing them on the streets already gave them looks of either disgust or concern. 

 

Chanhee pulled out his phone as they walked and held it between his shoulder and his ear. He seemed to get frustrated when whoever he was calling didn’t pick up. 

 

“Chanhee this isn’t even that serious you don’t need to-”

 

“Shut up,” Chanhee ordered him. He waited for a second more before Hwiyoung heard a voice on the other end. Chanhee didn’t even wait for the voice to finish speaking. “Taeyang. Get your ass to my house. Now. I’ll send you the address.” There was another pause and Chanhee groaned. “Because I fucking said so your boyfriend is bleeding from his arm-”

 

“It’s not that bad!” Hwiyoung called to the phone.

 

“Shut up Hwi, you can barely walk straight you lost so much blood.”

 

“You said it wasn’t deep!”

 

“I lied!” Chanhee adjusted his shoulder and grunted, repositioning the uniform which was soaked through with blood by now. Chanhee must have lied, there was a lot of blood. “Just- Taeyang. Please. My mom isn’t home and I have two little sisters at home. I don’t know anything about medical shit and-” Chanhee seemed to sigh with relief as he muttered a quick ‘thank you’ before ending the call and typing out his address. 

 

It took a while to get to Chanhee’s house, not that Hwiyoung could tell with his current state of drifting in and out of focus. When they finally got to his house, Chanhee lifted his leg up to open the door. He apparently didn’t need to unlock it because the door knob looked broken. 

 

“Hwiyoung!” he heard one of the girls calling out as they walked into the house. 

 

“Try not to drip blood on the floor, mama will kill me.” Hwiyoung snorted. 

 

“Oh, sorry. Wouldn’t want to get my gushing blood all over your precious floor.” He watched Chanhee hold Soonhee away with his arm when she ran over.

 

“Soonhee, baby, can you get me one of the spare blankets Mrs. Ha gave us?” Soonhee nodded and ran down the hallway with her sister trailing behind her. When they came back, blanket dragged across the floor behind them, Chanhee did his best to roll Hwiyoung onto the blanket but Hwiyoung wasn’t being of much help. “Hwiyoung! Help me here!”

 

“Fuck off!” he retorted pushing himself onto the blanket. Chanhee glared at him. He smiled up at the girls behind him. “Don’t say that word. The monster will come get you if you do.” 

 

“Don’t scare them!” Chanhee said bopping him on the head lightly. Hwiyoung watched Chanhee turn to his sisters out of the corner of his eyes, holding their hands and smiling at them on the ground. 

 

“What happened to Hwiyoung?” Younghee asked quietly. 

 

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” he attempted to assure her.

 

“Okay, did you hear that? That was a lie. If you are ever in a situation like this, do not lie. Lying makes it worse, okay?” 

 

“Good to know that while I’m bleeding over here your giving your sisters life advice.”

 

“I’ll never lie!” Soonhee declared. Chanhee smirked at him. The door opened on the other side of the room and Hwiyoung lifted his head a little to see the blonde boy. Chanhee pushed his head back down to the floor. 

 

“What- I don’t- is, is he okay?” 

 

“No, no, Taeyang. He is not okay. He is on my floor bleeding, he is not okay.”

 

“Is the big guy here to fix Hwiyoung?” Younghee asked running up to Chanhee’s back.

 

“No! He’s here to take Hwiyoung’s soul away when he dies. We have to kill him first!” Soonhee yelled running at Taeyang. Chanhee grabbed the back of Soonhee’s dress and dragged her somewhere out of Hwiyoung's line of sight. 

 

“The big man’s name is Taeyang. He is here to help Hwiyoung. Don’t kill him,” Chanhee ordered. He heard a rustling noise. “Take this money, okay? I want you both to go down to the store just down the street, you know the way right? You’ve been there before. Remember exactly what I tell you, okay? You need to ask the man at the counter for medical wraps, cotton pads, unflavored dental floss, and rubbing alcohol if they will let you get it. Okay? Repeat what I just told you.”

 

“Medical wraps!” They started in union. “Cotton pads! Dentist floss-”

 

“Unflavored dental floss,” Chanhee corrected.

 

“Unflavored dentist floss! And rubbing adult drink!” Hwiyoung lifted his head a little to watch Chanhee hand his sisters his own pocket money and pat them on the backs. 

 

“If anyone gives you trouble, kick them hard between the legs.” Younghee nodded and pulled her sister with her past Taeyang. 

 

“They look a little young to-”

 

“I made store trips like that when I was younger than them,” Chanhee said quickly cutting Taeyang off. He leaned down my Hwiyoung’s side and looked to Taeyang. “I asked you to come here so you could help me, so help me.” Taeyang ran over and pushed Chanhee to the side. 

 

“Do you have anything to hold his arm up?” Chanhee gave him a ripped pillow with a stained case over it, but it was better than nothing. “You want my advice? Take him to a fucking hospital. Why didn’t you do that in the first place?”

 

“I panicked!” Chanhee screamed. 

 

“We should take him to a hospital-”

 

“No, we can’t,” Hwiyoung stated. “People will ask about the cuts, I don’t want people to ask.”

 

“Hwiyoung, I’m sorry but you need to go to a hospital.”

 

“I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

 

“How about, no, and how about, let’s go.”

 

“I can do it myself, it’s fine!” Chanhee declared. 

 

“With what? Dental floss? No anesthetic? Alcohol? Really Chanhee?” 

 

“He’ll be fine,” Chanhee said sure of himself. “And look! The bleeding is slowing down! Maybe I just thought it was worse than it is!”

 

“You said he could barely walk!”

 

“He was walking fine, I lied.” Taeyang dropped his hands to his side loudly and groaned. “Sorry, but I needed you here as soon as possible.” Taeyang muttered ‘unbelievable’ before bringing himself closer to Hwiyoung’s arm. 

 

“Sun? Why does your arm have ‘Sun’ carved into it? And why is there a giant cut across it?” Taeyang asked. Hwiyoung sighed. 

 

“Hwi added that extra cut himself, isn’t it a nice addition to the mess?”

 

“Fuck off. One of the brothers was carving his name into my arm with a pocket knife.”

 

“Okay I’m killing them. Fuck the law.”

 

“Taeyang, no, we all want to kill them but-”

 

“Oh come on like they don’t deserve it at this point!” 

 

“We aren’t breaking the law,” Hwiyoung told the both of them. He went to push himself up but Taeyang just pushed him back down. “I’m fine,” he stated again.

 

“Just wait for us to tell you that you’re okay before you go diagnosing yourself,” Taeyang ordered. 

 

“The bleeding definitely slowed down,” Chanhee stated. “Maybe we didn’t need all that shit after all.”

 

“Nice going dumbass.”

 

“I’ll pay you back,” Hwiyoung stated quietly. 

 

“The hell you will,” Chanhee retorted angrily. 

 

“That was your own pocket money. Like I said before, Until you mom finds a job I am paying for stuff for you and you can’t tell me otherwise.”

 

“Chanhee…” Taeyang whispered. “Is this really where you live?”

 

“I know it’s trash but-”

 

“No, no. I like it it’s just. I didn’t know. I would have helped you pay at the restaurant and-”

 

“Stop your pity party. I hate when people pay for me. Hwiyoung paid for the restaurant anyways. I’m fine living the way I am. My sisters are fine with it too.” Just as he mentioned his sisters, the door opened. 

 

“HeeHee, why did I find your sisters walking down the road with your money on a mission to get- Hwiyoung!” Mrs. Kang ran through the door leaving her empty-handed daughters by the door. “HeeHee, what happened? Who is this? Hello, by the way. But what happened?”

 

“Nothing serious,” Chanhee lied. 

 

“I got carved up by a group of other kids,” Hwiyoung admitted. Mrs. Kang pulled Hwiyoung’s arm towards her lightly. 

 

“HeeHee, I need a cloth from the kitchen and you, blonde boy, I need a bowl of warm water. Both of you, move your asses.” Hwiyoung smiled at her orders and she patted his head lightly. “The cuts don’t look too deep, which is good, but we’ll have to clean them and bandage them up.”

 

“Chanhee, you liar,” Taeyang and him spoke in union. 

 

“My name is Yoo Taeyang,” he introduced with a bow after bringing the bowl of water over.

 

“It’s nice to meet you Taeyang. Please don’t mind anything about the house or the neighborhood,” she said with a smile, pressing the cloth into his arm. He hissed and she told him to stop being a baby. “You must be one of HeeHee’s good friends, right? Thank you for coming to help with this… situation.” 

 

“That’s Hwiyoung’s future boyfriend,” Chanhee teased from the counter. 

 

“I- I’m not-”

 

“We- uh, we aren’t-”

 

“Oh, I get it. HeeHee, stop being an ass and let them figure it out for themselves.”

 

“That hurts!” Hwiyoung said loudly as Mrs. Kang pressed onto the cuts more. 

 

“Well then next time don’t get hurt!”


	14. Road Trip

His arm still hurt, a lot. It had been just yesterday that he was outside the school being cut up with a knife and yet, here he was, sitting at his desk in his classroom like nothing had happened. It was easy to pretend that his arm still didn’t hurt, all he had to do was be careful when he moved it back too much. Otherwise, the cuts just stung. They didn’t bring him any unbearable pain that he couldn’t easily mask with a smile. All he had to think about were those days the girls in his class were on their time of the month. If they could mask pain worse than his with a straight face, so could he. 

 

His father had drove him to school again today in absolute silence. They hadn’t talked yesterday and it was clear that he hadn’t told his mother about the incident. Was he trying to pretend like he never saw anything? Hwiyoung didn’t know anymore, he didn’t care to be honest. At least it was Friday and he wouldn’t have to sit through another awkward car ride tomorrow.

 

Chanhee’s strict rules for the school days had become even stricter today. Chanhee had waited to escort him from his father’s car and to his classroom. Hwiyoung was under strict orders to not leave the room, not even to use the bathroom, unless Chanhee was there to escort him. He didn’t mind, he wasn’t all for the idea of leaving anyways. He figured the strict rules would only last a few days until the brothers were brought in for questioning with their parents. There was plenty of evidence against them, especially with his arm now. 

 

It was recess right now, the time of the day where all the students got to stretch their legs, go to the bathroom, and take a break from their classes. Chanhee had come to see him during his last recess, so Hwiyoung would be all alone for the 20 minute period of time. Because of the cloudy weather outside, most kids were inside for their recess. On other days they would usually be outside by the fields or park trails. 

 

“Knock knock,” Hwiyoung looked up and almost fell out of his desk. 

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“What do you mean, what the fuck?”

 

“I mean what the actual fuck? How did you even get in here?” The boy in front of him smiled proudly.

 

“I borrowed a spare uniform. I got mistaken for a student and they let me in.” 

 

“With your hair?” Juho nodded, his red hair falling in front of his face. 

 

“I have my clothes back in the truck, I can change after.”

 

“The truck?” Juho nodded and took a seat in the desk in front of him, sitting backwards in his chair so he could face him properly. 

 

“Sixth stage of life,” he stated proudly. “This one’s mine. Nobody knows what it is except me. It’s a long drive so I figured leaving early would be best. Inseong told me that you wouldn’t skip school but I used to skip all the time. What’s one bad unexcused dismissal mark? Hey, Where’s Chanhee?”

 

“Three classrooms down, the other hallway,” Hwiyoung stated grabbing his bag. He started shoving his folders into it and packing away his left out papers. 

 

“Hwiyoung, are you leaving?” Jiwoo asked. It was strange seeing her paying attention to anything other than her books. 

 

“Uh, yeah. Sorry. You can take over class rep duties, right?” Jiwoo nodded. “Thanks.”

 

“You never leave in the middle of the day,” Taehyung commented from the back of the room. 

 

“Well, there’s a first for everything isn’t there,” he replied zipping the top of his bag. 

 

“Which excuse do you like better? Carried away by ninjas, or stomach flu?” He smiled at the boy. 

 

“Stomach flu,” he decided easily. Taehyung nodded and he left with Juho trailing behind him. 

 

“Your classmates are nice,” he said once they were part way down the hallways. Hwiyoung nodded and moved himself behind Juho. 

 

“Chanhee will get mad because I left the class without him, I’m under strict rules not too. So you are my bodyguard for right now. If two dudes walk up and call me Kyun, punch them no matter what, got it?” Juho lifted one eyebrow but nodded anyways.

 

Chanhee’s classroom was weirdly down an entirely different hallway which made seeing each other in recesses more difficult because it was a longer walk, therefore more chances for them both to go to the other’s class using different hallways. Sometimes it became frustrating. 

 

“Yo, Chanhee!” Juho called walking into his classroom.

 

“What the fuck?” Hwiyoung walked in behind the red haired boy and smiled at his friend. “Hwiyoung, I told you not to-”

 

“I had Juho!” He said pointing to the boy with a smile. 

 

“Stage six!” he called. “You’re both ditching school today.” Chanhee picked up his bag weakly and threw it over his shoulder. 

 

“I’m not even going to ask how complicated your plan to get in here was,” he decided before turning to Hwiyoung. “Hwi, I don’t think we should be skipping school. You’re parents are already really mad. Maybe we should be responsible for once? You know, especially after yesterday.”

 

“It’s fine,” he assured his friend with a smile. “Let’s go!”

 

Juho hadn’t been bluffing when he said he had a truck. He had a truck. The vehicle was a gray four door Ford with a large bed in the back. Seokwoo waved from the drivers window, where he was clearly leaning over to from the passenger’s seat. Youngbin waved from the window in the back and he could see Sanghyuk behind him. Inseong was sitting on the edge of the truck, Jaeyoon waving them over from behind him. Taeyang also sat in the back with a silly smile on his face. 

 

“You’ll have to sit in the back, sorry,” Juho said unbuttoning the uniform and throwing it in the bed along with Hwiyoung and Chanhee’s bags. Jaeyoon tossed him his shirt and he pulled his pants off quickly to change back into his jeans. 

 

“Are you sure this is the best day for riding in the back of a truck? It looks like it’s going to rain soon,” Chanhee stated cautiously. 

 

“It’s fine!” Inseong called while Taeyang reached his hand out to pull Hwiyoung into the truck. Hwiyoung was about to reach up for his hand but Taeyang quickly switched arms. He gave Hwiyoung the cutest smile and his stomach did a little flip at the sight, but he didn’t let it show. He put his injured arm down and reached up with his left hand to let Taeyang pull him into the truck. He pulled Chanhee up after him and then the truck moved forward. 

 

“Where are we going?” Chanhee asked taking a seat by the window giving himself a view of the inside. 

 

“I think I heard Juho saying something about Samcheok in his sleep last night,” Jaeyoon mentioned. “So either we are going to Samcheok or he had a dream about being in Samcheok.”

 

“Samcheok is like, two hours away though. We can’t possibly be going there,” Hwiyoung mentioned.

 

“It’s actually more like three hours away,” Jaeyoon corrected.

 

“It would make sense,” Inseong threw in. “He said it was a long ride. Why else would he pick everyone up so early? It’s probably more likely than anything that we’re going to Samcheok. 

 

The ride truly was a long one. Chanhee had sat still in the back of the truck for most of it. He looked conflicted. Hwiyoung had asked him if anything was wrong about twenty minutes into the ride but the boy had just shrugged it off. He perked up after that. They had passed a police station after leaving Ansan and Inseong had ordered everybody to stay as low to the bed as they could to avoid being seen. After all, they were technically breaking the law. Sanghyuk had argued that Hwiyoung and Chanhee shouldn’t be in the back because they were under the age of 18 and still needed to wear seatbelts. Chanhee told him to fuck off, he should have chosen to sit in the bed so his legs could stretch. They took a small break for bathrooms and leg stretching at a small gas station in Yeoju. Hwiyoung didn’t need to use the bathrooms, so he didn’t, but he kind of wished he had when Inseong and Chanhee walked out with their hair soaking wet laughing. They refused to tell about their dark adventures in the Yeoju bathroom. 

 

The next stretch of the ride was even longer than the last. The snacks they had bought at the small convenience store ended up being used up pretty early. Sanghyuk had kept stealing Jaeyoon’s small cakes through the small window so those ran out pretty fast. Taeyang had some chips but those were also gone quick after the truck went over a bump and Taeyang dropped them. He claimed it was the ‘saddest moment in his entire life.’ Seokwoo had bought some peanuts but, being the immature child he was, he kept trying to throw them out the window at road signs. The only reason the camera was allowed to be in the back of the truck was to record the peanuts flying past the signs. At one point, Juho pulled the truck over next to a sign just so Seokwoo could finally hit one. At least it made him happy. 

 

They had lost track of time after two hours and thirty minutes when Sanghyuk started complaining about how long the ride was. Sanghyuk kept asking if the sixth stage absolutely had to take place across the country. Juho had told him they could turn around and travel back two and a half hours instead of driving for another thirty minutes. That shut him up. During that time, Hwiyoung had ended up laying in Taeyang’s lap somehow. He hadn't remembered crawling over from the other side of the bed, he was just there. He kept watching the sky above him pass by and when Tayang leaned his face over his with an adorable smile, Hwiyoung no longer cared about the sky. 

 

“I was right!” Jaeyoon screamed when they passed a sign saying ‘Welcome to Samcheok.’ The group of five in the bed had cheered at the knowledge that they were getting closer to their destination. After all, they couldn’t go much farther with Samcheok bordering the ocean. “What do you think we’re doing in Samcheok?” he asked the group. 

 

“I bet we’re going to Haesindang park!”

 

“Ew, no,” Inseong retorted to Chanhee’s guess. 

 

“Fine,” he bit back. “What else exciting is there to do in Samcheok?”

 

“The beach? I mean, it’s on the ocean.” Chanhee shook his head at Taeyang.

 

“There is a beach in Ansan!” he reminded them.

 

“But we’ve been to that beach already,” Taeyang said snarkily.

 

“Fine. There’s a beach in Incheon, Hwaseong, Dangjin, Taean, should I go on? Did we really come to the other side of the country for a beach?”

 

“Yes!” Juho called rolling down his driver’s side window. “We are going to Jangho Beach!” he called out.

 

“Juho you stupid son of a bitch we sat in this truck for three hours for a beach?” Jaeyoon asked. 

 

“Shut up and wait for the stage.” Jaeyoon took the camera from Sanghyuk through the window and looked into it like he was in The Office. Hwiyoung pulled himself onto the side of the truck and curled his fingers over the edges to keep him from falling while Sanghyuk struggled to pull the camera back inside the vehicle with only one arm. The breeze felt nice. Granted, the wind was blowing so hard in his face that it became somewhat of a struggle to open his eyes, but that was the challenge. He found himself trying to open his eyes as wide as he could with the air blowing past them. When there were no vehicles passing them on the roads, he lifted one of his hands of feel the breeze pass by him. His fingers drifted along the air and it felt like his hand was flying past the trees and the green of the outskirts of the city ahead. He felt his hair whipping around behind him and his tie flapping around in every direction until he tucked it into his shirt.

 

“Hwiyoung, be careful,” Taeyang warned. 

 

“I won’t fall,” he reassured the boy pointing to his hand on the edge. 

 

“That’s your bad arm, though,” Taeyang pointed out pushing himself to where Hwiyoung sat. He sat on the edge behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Hwiyoung tried not to shiver or warm up at the contact. He would blame his shiver on the cool air and he was thankful that he was facing forward so the blonde boy couldn’t see his face. Taeyang moved his arms along Hwiyoung’s stomach and snuggled his head onto his shoulder. He hoped his hair wasn’t hitting Taeyang in the face. “I won’t let you fall off,” he said with a soft voice, so quiet it was almost carried away by the wind. 

 

“I- uh, thanks,” he replied mentally kicking himself for the lame response. He pulled his hand back from the wind and moved it to cover Taeyang’s hand on his tummy. 

 

“Your hand is so cold,” Taeyang said pulling his hoodie sleeve over his hand and moving it over Hwiyoung’s hand. 

 

“Are you gonna warm me up again,” he asked turning his head with a smile. Their noses were almost touching. Their faces were so close. Don’t drop the smile, he told himself. If he dropped the smile he would be focused on something much more embarrassing then his smile, like Taeyang’s lips which he refused to look at. 

 

“Well,” he said giving him a soft smile back. His cheeks puffed up and his eyes crinkled at the sides. Hwiyoung really loved his smile. “I am the love interest.” 

 

“I’m going to barf,” Jaeyoon said to them from the other side of the truck with lidded eyes.

 

“Have you seen yourself with Inseong?” Hwiyoung retorted with a smirk. He mimicked a barfing face and laughed at the pink haired boy. Inseong joined him in the laughing, clearly in agreement with him. He liked the feeling of Taeyang’s chest against his back, laughing and giggling in his ear. 

 

“Okay, jeez Hwi. We get it. You love your boyfriend.”

 

“Leave my baby alone,” Taeyang defended snuggling into him more, as if it was at all possible. Chanhee scoffed and threw one of the last of the peanuts at them.

 

“That was your best defense?” he asked with a laugh. Taeyang nodded into his shoulder but didn’t comment further. 

 

“Hey!” Juho called out the window at the pair of them at the entrance to the city. “I don’t wanna get arrested so maybe stay low to the bed.” The five of them nodded and moved to the floor. Chanhee ended up laying down by the gate and Jaeyoon ended up partially on top of Inseong. Taeyang unwrapped himself from Hwiyoung, leaving him feeling a bit cold. Taeyang didn’t move far, though, grabbing his left hand and pulling him to the floor of the bed. Hwiyoung ended up squished between the other boy and the side of the truck. 

 

“You two are possibly the most awkward snugglers I have ever seen,” Inseong commented at their position. They were both kind of stiff, not really comfortable but a little shocked with their current position. “Tae,” Inseong ordered, “don’t you know how to snuggle?” He stuttered for a few moments, unmoving and clearly unsure of what to do. “Oh my God. Tae, turn sideways and wrap your arms around Hwi. You’re the big spoon.”

 

Hwiyoung’s face was bright red and he could see Taeyang’s cheeks were equally colored out of the corner of his eyes. Aside from their embarrassment, Taeyang did as he was told and shifted himself to wrap his arm around Hwiyoung’s body. Hwiyoung moved his other arm to wrap around Taeyang’s waist unconsciously and snuggled his head under Taeyang’s chin. 

 

“There you go,” Inseong said with approval. “Step one to being a good boyfriend, cuddles.”

 

“I think the first step is actually asking the other person out,” Chanhee chimed in from the back. Jaeyoon hummed in agreement.

 

“But Inseong never did that.”

 

“Why do I have to do it?!” 

 

“Because you top.”

 

“Okay, thank you!” Chanhee said cutting off their conversation with a laugh.

 

“Does this mean you two aren’t officially dating?” Hwiyoung asked surprised. 

 

“Yeah. Come on Inseong. Step one to being a good boyfriend,” Jaeyoon encouraged. 

 

“Fine, everybody shut up for a second.” Everybody obeyed. “Jaeyoon you are quite possibly the most beautiful human being I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I wish we had met sooner. I’m so unbelievably glad that you are a part of my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m sorry that the first time we ever met I slept with you and left, but the only part I regret is leaving because I want to see your beautiful smile every day when I wake up for the rest of my life. You’re funny, sweet, talented, and I love you. Will you be my boyfriend?” 

 

Hwiyoung cupped his hands around his mouth and screamed in joy with Chanhee and Taeyang. They all clapped for the couple as Jaeyoon said yes, and they made out. Hwiyoung smiled at the couple as they broke apart.

 

“Finally!” Chanhee screamed. 

 

“Okay, I take it back,” Inseong said turning to Taeyang. “The first step to being a good boyfriend is asking for Hwiyoung’s hand in marriage.”

 

“Inseong!”

 

“Okay, but why does everyone assume Tayang has to do it?” Chanhee asked throwing another peanut out the side to hit a passing car. He wasn't quite sure how he managed to get more of them. “Why can’t Hwiyoung man up and do it?”

 

“Because Taeyang likes to top,” Jaeyoon said with a laugh.

 

“Jaeyoon I swear to god I will kill you!” Taeyang screamed as Chanhee cracked up laughing. Hwiyoung pushed his head father down to hide under Taeyang’s chin.

 

“But you never know!” Inseong contradicted. “Maybe Hwi likes to top too.”

 

“Hwi is a virgin,” Jaeyoon reminded him. 

 

“Yeah, so he doesn’t know what he likes yet.”

 

“Could you two stop talking about my future sex life?” Hwiyoung called out at the peak of embarrassment. 

 

“No, this is an important topic of discussion,” Jaeyoon refused as the truck turned a corner, pushing Taeyang into Hwiyoung more as if they weren’t already as close as possible. “If Hwi likes to top, then he also has the potential to ask Tae out, but since we already know that Tae likes to top, it’s his job.”

 

“But why does the top have to do it in the first place?” Chanhee asked, seemingly enjoying the conversation and Hwiyoung’s embarrassment. 

 

“I don’t know, it’s kind of like the man of a straight relationship asking the girl out.”

 

“Gender roles suck,” Inseong pointed out. “If I was a girl I’d still ask you out.” 

 

“So were you calling Hwiyoung a girl?” Chanhee asked Jaeyoon with a smirk that Hwiyoung didn’t need to see to know he had. 

 

“No. I just think Tae should do it.”

 

“I think Hwi should do it,” Chanhee retorted.

 

“Can you all stop it?!” Taeyang and him called out at the same time. 

 

“Aw,” Inseong stated as the truck came to a stop. “You’ve embarrassed them.” 

 

"Your professor is going to love this,” Sanghyuk stated stepping out of the truck with the camera. “I just caught your entire love story on camera. Professor Shin is going to enjoy you confessing your undying love to your boyfriend and then talking about whether your friends top or bottom.” Inseong launched over the side of the truck and chased after Sanghyuk. They both got yelled at by Seokwoo because of the camera. Taeyang coughed to the side before standing up and pulling Hwiyoung up with his uninjured arm. They climbed out together and stretched their legs as the gang in the front climbed out. 

 

“So why did we come all the way to Jangho Beach?” Youngbin asked looking around them. The sky was a shade of gray from the clouds above, so there weren’t many people out. The water was clear, a little wavy, but clear and blue. White rocks the size of small mountains jutted out of the water with trees and plants hanging off the sides. He had never been to Jangho beach before, but it was a nice sight. 

 

Juho smiled and told everybody to leave anything such as phones, money, or any other personal items in the truck before he locked it. They were also told to leave their shoes. Hwiyoung made sure to remove his necklace very carefully before placing it lightly with his backpack. It was the most important thing he had on him at the moment. After that Juho placed his truck keys under the rims above the tires. They all followed him down the street, bare feet scraping across the road and the dirt below them. They climbed over a small hill before coming up to a small wooden bridge. He didn’t say anything as they climbed up the bridge bare footed. Inseong asked Jaeyoon if he knew anything about the stage, but the boy replied that he was kept in the dark. Juho only turned around to face them when they reached the top of the cliff. He held his hands up to draw attention to the area around them and smiled. 

 

“Welcome,” he said turning his attention to the camera sealed inside a clear bag, “to Stage Six: Cliff Diving.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Wait, wait, what?!”

 

“This stage,” he continued, “is all about bravery, since all of our stages have to have themes now.”

 

“I never agreed to this,” Jaeyoon stated hiding behind Inseong. 

 

“Nobody did,” Inseong said putting his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “But as the rules say, we have to do it.” Juho smiled and held out his hand. 

 

“Rock paper scissors for who is going first,” he demanded. 

 

“This is your stage! You go first!” somebody called out.

 

“Oh no, I’m terrified of this. I’ll be perfectly happy if somebody else goes first.” Everybody held out their hands in determination. The game continued for about five minutes with no person determined for going first. 

 

“This is suspenseful, somebody take the fall already,” Seokwoo said nervously. Hwiyoung pulled at the tie around his neck biting his lip and sighed, pulling his hand back.

 

“This is dumb,” he said pulling his tie tight enough to stay around his neck again. “Fuck it.” Hwiyoung took a few steps backward before taking off running towards the cliff edge without another word. There wasn’t enough time for him to prepare for the fear that took over him when his foot left the ground and his other pushed off the cliff behind him. He hadn’t had enough time to think about what he had done until he was in the air, hands flying above his head and feet kicking out beneath him. He screamed as he fell and crossed his arms over his chest. He straightened his legs and prepared to hit the water much quicker than he had expected. The cold water enveloped him within an instant. He felt the temperature around him drop drastically as he pulled his arms out to swim upward. His arm stung, badly, but he just grit his teeth together and focused on the water around him. He was still drifting deeper into the water and he kicked harder and harder to pull himself to the surface. Lighter, closer, floating, floating. His head came above the surface of the water and he sucked in a deep breath. 

 

He heard the calls from his friends at the top of the cliff but all he could focus on was his own breath. He moved his arms and legs to keep him afloat as he checked the bandage which had somehow not broken yet. He held his arm above the surface of the water. He smiled up at the cliff dozens of feet above him and waved to the rest of his group.

 

“Hwiyoung are you dead?!”

 

“I’m fine! Let’s go you weenies!” He was so surprised with himself. He didn’t know what had come over him when he ran towards the edge of that cliff. What had he been trying to do? He most certainly didn’t want to go first, that was for sure. He wasn’t sure why he had jumped first, but he was happy that he had done it.

 

He heard a scream from above and swam backwards as far as he could as Juho fell to the water below him. It was weird seeing his friends falling from this angel, but it was also incredibly hilarious watching them scream as if they were falling to their demise. Juho hit the water with a big splash that engulfed Hwiyoung. Before Juho had even come up for air, Sanghyuk was falling behind him, landing a mere three feet away from where the red head had landed.

 

“Watch it!” Juho said the second he came up for breath. He waited for Sanghyuk to emerge before screaming it at him again. Hwiyoung made sure to gesture for them to move out of the way as the next sound of running-start screams sounded. Hwiyoung watched as Inseong and Jaeyoon ran over the edge of the cliff hand in hand. It was cute, but he could only imagine how much their arms would hurt when they hit the water. 

 

“Fuck! Fuck! Jaey- Fuck! Oh shit!” The boys hit the water with the sound of a loud snap and when they came back up, Inseong screamed. “Fuck, my arm!” Inseong’s arm was bright red right where it had hit the water. Jaeyoon’s arm, which was still attached to Inseong’s hand, was also a similar color. It looked like it stung just looking at it. “As much as I love you that was a bad idea!” Inseong decided cradling his arm with his other, keeping himself afloat by kicking harder at the water. Hwiyoung looked up as another person screamed and watched as Taeyang’s blonde hair blew behind him as he fell. 

 

“If-I-have-to-say-my-last-words-right-now-I-want-everybody-to-know-I-love-Kim-Hwiyoung!” Taeyang fell into the water with a big splash and everybody around them laughed and giggled while side eyeing Hwiyoung. The blonde looked a little embarrassed when he resurfaced, strands of hairs covering his eyes and a pout on his lips. “I said I love bread. Bread,” he clarified moving his hands to swim over to the group. “Bread.” he repeated. Hwiyoung’s cheeks warmed at the thought of what Taeyang had said, but he just dunked his head under water again to hide his embarrassment. It warmed his heart, though, to here what Taeyang said; to hear what he had been thinking all along reciprocated. 

 

“Here I come with the camera!” Seokwoo screamed launching himself off of the cliff above them. The camera was hugged to his chest in the air filled bag and Hwiyoung assumed that they would be able to edit Seokwoo’s A+ chin shot into their video. He crashed into the water and the camera floated up to the surface of the water by itself after it had fallen out of Seokwoo’s arms. When he came up, he grabbed the camera and swam to the side. “Worse experience of my life,” he grumbled. “0/10, will never do again.” Everybody laughed at the man that resembled a wet cat with his angry scowl. 

 

“Chanhee, no!” he heard from the cliff. “Chanhee, please, no, oh my god!” They all watched as both boys came to the edge of the cliff, Chanhee pushing Youngbin off the side. Instead of falling straight, like the rest of them had, Youngbin kind of swirled around as he attempted to straighten himself out before hitting the water. 

 

“Wow,” Taeyang said as he fell. “Youngbin is falling as straight as my sexuality.” Hwiyoung punched him on the shoulder. 

 

When Youngbin resurfaced, he glared up the cliff only to find Chanhee dropping into the water beside him, splashing him in the eyes with ocean water. 

 

“That was so awesome!” Chanhee declared when he came up to breathe. Youngbin pushed his head under water again. 

 

“That was actually really fun!” Juho said with a laugh.

 

“This entire trip was a disaster,” Seokwoo complained holding the camera up to capture everybody playing around in the water. 

 

“I have to agree with Seokwoo,” Jaeyoon said holding up his arm. 

 

“I confessed my love for you!” Inseong claimed astonished as he pushed his boyfriend under that water. Jaeyoon just laughed and told him he loved him. 

 

The waves were higher than they had been when they arrived. They weren’t unbearable, however some of the waves pushed above their heads and moved them around like they were caught in a storm, which they most likely would be soon with those dark clouds becoming darker by the second. They were all laughing, like nothing was wrong, until everybody heard the thunder. Personally, Hwiyoung loved the thunder and the rain, so he had no problem with the weather, but he did have a problem with their group being outside in the water with the lightning. 

 

“Maybe we should head home,” Youngbin suggested nervously.

 

“Damn, I was hoping to play around at the beach for a while longer, but I guess you’re right,” Juho said swimming over to the shore. 

 

“Told you it would probably rain,” Chanhee mumbled as he pulled himself out of the water. Taeyang coughed and turned his head.

 

“What?” Hwiyoung asked confused. 

 

“Your- uhm, the… the uniform. It’s…” Hwiyoung looked down to his white uniform to see the material completely soaked through, exposing his chest. He didn’t even try to hide it and instead shrugged, pulling the wet material away from his chest in an attempt to lessen the sight. “Yeah. Yeah okay. Fixed,” Taeyang said sarcastically as Hwiyoung climbed into the back of the truck. He reached his left arm out for Taeyang and pulled the boy in with him. Juho laid a towel in the driver's seat and turned to all of them. 

 

“Everybody should stand in the back, dry off before our ride home,” he suggested. Taeyang and Hwiyoung nodded and held out their hands to pull the other six into the back. Hwiyoung held his hands on the roof of the truck as it backed onto the road. “I’m going to drive down some random roads for a while!” Juho called from the open window. Hwiyoung held up his hands with Taeyang by his side, who followed his example. Chanhee was sticking his head out the side like a happy dog. He couldn’t see the rest of the group behind him, but he could hear them cheering as their hair blowed around in the wind. Hwiyoung reached his hand over to Taeyang’s in the air and took it in his own. He didn’t bother looking over or letting himself become embarrassed, he just let it happen like it was a natural response to being next to the boy. 

 

There was another boom of thunder in the distance before the first raindrop fell. The first drop fell onto his nose and he pulled his head back to look up at the sky. Another drop, and another. Soon it was sprinkling, and then it was pouring. 

 

“So much for drying off!” Chanhee called out with his hair dripping water. 

 

“Juho!” Hwiyoung called. “Is your stage over?” 

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“I know what I want mine to be!” he called as the truck pulled to a stop on the side of the road. He held on as the vehicle pushed itself over the bump that was the edge of the road before pushing through everybody, Taeyang’s hand long gone from his own, and jumping over the gate to land on the road. The road was completely empty, nothing occupying it but the thousands of droplets of rain. The sky around them was a dark gray and everything looked gloomy, but to him it looked amazing. “I’m starting the seventh stage right now!” he screamed pulling his friends out of the truck. “The theme is to just have fun because that’s what life is all about,” he screamed running out into the road with the biggest smile on his face. “Stage seven: Playing in the rain!” 

 

“Just… playing in the rain?” Seokwoo asked, looking mildly confused.

 

“Yes!” He responded opening his arms up to the rain. “Just playing in the rain.”

 

Sanghyuk jumped out of the truck first, smiling and opening his mouth to taste the sky’s water. Chanhee jumped out of the back second, grabbing Youngbin’s hand and pulling the two of them into the road. 

 

“Chicken fight!” Chanhee yelled as he pushed the older man down to climb onto his shoulders. Youngbin stood up with ease and wrapped his hands around the youngest’s thighs to hold him on. The two were covered in rain, their hair dripping wet and their clothes sticking to their arms and chests. 

 

“I accept this challenge!” Jaeyoon declared pulling Inseong with him. 

 

“This isn’t safe! What if you fall?” Inseong screamed after the pink haired boy as he was pulled out the back of the truck. 

 

“Don’t let me fall!” Jaeyoon screamed back over the storm. The thunder boomed again but nobody stopped because of it. Jaeyoon climbed on Inseong’s shoulders, just as Chanhee had done, and patted the boy’s head in front of him. 

 

“You’re not going to stop them?” Taeyang asked Seokwoo. “You’re the mom. Aren’t you supposed to stop daddy from injuring his children?” Seokwoo just shrugged and smiled at the group as the two on the bottom made their way towards each other. 

 

Hwiyoung heard faint music from the truck, the sounds of drums and guitar growing louder as Juho turned up the volume and climbed out of his seat in the dry truck. He rolled down the windows, soaking the inside, but letting the music travel out to where the four boys stood on the road. He smiled at the red head as he pulled Seokwoo with him to get ready to catch the others if they fell. Hwiyoung reached his hand out to Taeyang who was still in the back of the truck. The blonde boy smiled at him and placed his hand in his to get down.

 

Hwiyoung knew Taeyang was beautiful, but really, who the hell looked this beautiful with hair sticking to their face and water running down their skin? Taeyang’s hair was somehow not completely matted to his head. The little curls that had appeared because of the rain bounced as he hopped down from the truck and fell over his eyes when he smiled. He brushed his bangs away from his face and let them sit on the top of his head, still soaked in water and bouncing down when he moved. His skin was glowing with the water. The rain had coated his cheeks and without any source of light, they seemed to glow like he was the sun himself. Water droplets fell from his eye lashes and pecked his face like tiny kisses. The collar of his black tee hung low from the extra weight and exposed the top of his chest. Water trailed down his neck and over his collar bone like it was there just for added effect. His shirt stuck to his chest and defined every detail. Hwiyoung knew he was staring at every inch of the boy in front of him, but he just couldn’t help himself. Taeyang really was the definition of beauty. 

 

“You’re staring again,” Taeyang said, barely audible over the sound of rain around them and the music behind them. He nodded, bringing his eyes back up to Taeyang’s.

 

“I know.” The music behind them changed from a band to some slow dance song with piano. When he looked behind him, Chanhee and Youngbin were running away from Seokwoo through the rain. Sanghyuk was rolling around on the road, laughing. Juho was lying on the road like he was just absorbing the rain. Inseong and Jaeyoon were running around, holding hands. Taeyang coughed behind him and he turned his head to see the boy again. Taeyang held one hand behind his back and one out in front of him, open to Hwiyoung.

 

“I know I apologized for our first dance together, but I never really felt like I made it up to you. I want to make it up to you now.” Taeyang smiled at him and Hwiyoung swore he could see the sun shining through his teeth. “Would you allow me to properly teach you how to dance?” Hwiyoung was breathless. He hadn’t done anything, and yet he was completely out of breath. He managed a nod and placed his hand in Taeyang’s. 

 

Taeyang led him to the middle of the road, a little ways away from the rest of the group, but close enough to see them and to hear the music. The blonde boy entangled his fingers with Hwiyoung left hand, giving him this funny feeling in his chest, and moved his other hand to Hwiyoung’s waist. His touch wasn’t rough like last time, he was gentle when he placed his fingers on the small of his back.

 

“Put your other hand on my shoulder,” Taeyang instructed him. Hwiyoung moved his hand up and placed it loosely on his shoulder, his palm on the fabric of the shirt but his fingers grazing across the back of the boy’s lower neck. Taeyang nodded after he had moved his hand and took a step to the left. Hwiyoung followed him. Taeyang didn’t give many instructions, rather he did the steps slowly and let Hwiyoung follow him at his own pace. It was just two simple steps, one to the left, one to the right. They turned in a circle slowly, feet moving to the left, and then to the right. Their feet moved to the beat of the music and Hwiyoung concentrated hard. He stared at his feet, making sure they followed exactly what Taeyang did, never stepping on his toes. He heard a laugh from the boy above him. 

 

“When you dance, you’re supposed to hold eye contact.” Hwiyoung felt heat rising to his cheeks and raised his head to meet Taeyang’s eyes. They followed the same rhythm: left, right, left, right, left, right. Hwiyoung lost himself in Taeyang’s eyes which sparkled with the shine of every raindrop that passed between them. He felt like he could stare into Taeyang’s eyes for hours. 

 

Taeyang’s eyes, so beautiful and focused on his own, flickered for a moment. They moved downward to what he could onto guess was his lips. He didn’t notice it until he had done it, but after Taeyang’s eyes had flickered downward, his had as well. Taeyang’s lips looked so soft. There was a pink tint to Taeyang’s cheeks, and he could only think that it was the cutest thing in the world, that Taeyang himself was the cutest boy in the world. He loved him, he really did. He loved everything about him and he wanted to tell him more than anything. He wanted the boy in front of him to know just how much he loved him. 

 

They were so far apart, their arms kept in a distance between the two of them. Hwiyoung suddenly didn’t like it. When they stepped right, he stepped forward. He felt their feet moving to the rhythm of the same song as he brought himself closer to the boy. His own eyes flickered down to the boy’s lips again. Taeyang didn’t seem to have a bad reaction, his eyes just stared at Hwiyoung’s wide and innocent-like. Hwiyoung moved his hand up to the back of Taeyang’s hair, tangling his fingers into his hair before pulling the boy’s head downward and pressing their lips together. He only kept their lips together for a second before pulling away, before realizing how much he missed the sensation already. He was right, Taeyang’s lips were soft, very soft. Their hands came apart and instead of pulling away, Taeyang brought his hands to Hwiyoung’s head and brought their lips together again. They stayed like that for a while, locked together and just enjoying the feeling of their lips together. He heard cheers behind them, but he didn’t care. He tangled his hands in Taeyang’s hair more and broke apart for breath with a smile. He heard Taeyang’s soft laugh before their lips came together again. He was smiling into the kiss and he was just so happy. Why hadn’t he done this sooner? Why hadn’t he showed Taeyang how much he loved him sooner? He loved him so much, he just wanted to tell him and-

 

“I love you,” the blonde boy said with a winded breath after they broke apart again. “I love you,” he said again. “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too.” He brought their lips together again for a second before pulling back with a smile. “I love you so much.” He heard their friends screaming through the rain and smiled more, if that was even possible. Taeyang brought his hands to Hwiyoung's and pulled them down, entangling their fingers again and bringing his lips to Hwiyoung’s cheek. 

 

“I have loved you for so long,” Taeyang admitted, water running down his cheeks and into his smile. “I had a crush on you since the day I saw you but, you were just so nice. I don’t even know when but, Kim Hwiyoung, you have completely captured my heart.”

 

“The day after the fire,” Hwiyoung admitted back. “I realized I loved you the day after the fire.” Taeyang leaned down and pecked his lips again. 

 

“You make me so happy.” Hwiyoung brought his arms around Taeyang’s back and snuggled his head against his chest. Taeyang hugged him back, hand in his wet and tangled hair. 

 

“This is the cutest thing I have ever seen!” Sanghyuk screamed laughing.

 

“Way to go Hwi!” Seokwoo screamed over the rain. 

 

“My opt!” Chanhee yelled. Youngbin whistled from the crowd and there were claps coming from several of them.

 

“It’s about time!” Inseong yelled. “Ow!” Hwiyoung laughed as he watched Jaeyoon punch him in the shoulder. 

 

“Hwiyoung?”

 

“Yeah, Tae?”

 

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

 

“Of course.”

 

♦️

 

“I’m happy for you,” Chanhee said as they walked. It had taken hours to get home, just as it had taken to get there. Of course, it hadn’t been as much fun in the pouring rain, but they dealt with it. Sanghyuk had no complaints about riding in the front this time. Taeyang and him hadn’t left each other’s side through the entire ride, Inseong and Jaeyoon teasing them and bragging about how they had caught the entire thing on camera. 

 

Now, they were back in Ansan. Everyone had said their goodbyes, Taeyang kissing him again before they parted ways. The rain had stopped slowly, finally giving up after they had arrived in their district. Now, it was just him and Chanhee walking down the dark streets to Hwiyoung’s house soaking wet. He had tried to twist the ends of his shirt to dry it out, but at this point his uniform was just damp and uncomfortable to walk in. 

 

“But what are you going to do about your parents?”

 

“What about them?”

 

“Did Tae’s lips rip away half of your brain? You’re supposed to be under house arrest. Your dad was supposed to pick you up after school. You ditched. So again, what are you going to do about your parents?” Chanhee had a bite to his voice. It almost sounded like he didn’t care what Hwiyoung’s solution was. It sounded like he was mad. Was… was Chanhee mad?

 

“Why do you sound so angry?” Hwiyoung asked softly, bringing his hands to the straps on his bag and pulling at them mindlessly. 

 

“Because I am.” Hwiyoung stopped walking and pulled at Chanhee’s shoulder. 

 

“Why?”

 

“Why? Really, Hwi? Why?” Hwiyoung thought for a second before nodding. Why would Chanhee be mad at him? He had seemed fine earlier with Youngbin and the rest of the group. But then again… there was that point earlier into the ride where he hadn’t seemed overly happy. Was he mad since then? But why would he- 

 

“Are you mad because we ditched school?” he asked slowly. 

 

“I’m mad because you ditched school.”

 

“But-”

 

“No buts. I know you had fun today, my god Hwiyoung I’m so fucking happy for you. But you need to get your shit together.” He furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to speak but Chanhee just cut him off again. “You have never ditched school before. In fact, before you met the group you hadn’t missed a single hagwon. You didn’t skip on any of your homework and when your parents yelled at you, you fucking listened.”

 

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to apologize?”

 

“No, because I know you don’t regret any of it, and that’s the problem.”

 

“It’s my life,” Hwiyoung bit back defensively. 

 

“And you’re turning it to shit!” Chanhee yelled. A bird flapped its wings from behind him and flew off into the sky. Silence.

 

“You are the one that told me to be myself!” Chanhee laughed and placed his hands on his head before pointing his finger at Hwiyoung.

 

“Don’t turn this on me! I told you to be Hwiyoung. Being Hwiyoung doesn’t involve skipping school and destroying your future, whatever that may be.”

 

“I’m not! I’m-”

 

“That’s exactly what you’re doing!” he screamed. “You’re going to lose your place as first in your class, the place you worked hard to get and the place you have held against everyone telling you to give it up! And you’re going to let it go because you can’t tell a group of boys to wait a few fucking hours!”

 

“I don’t care about my place as first in the class!” Hwiyoung screamed back, his hands balled into fists. “That’s Youngkyun, not me!”

 

“You know what?” Chanhee yelled, getting into his face. “You are Youngkyun! Being Hwiyoung doesn’t mean you get to escape the responsibilities of life! You made that name to be recognised as a different person, not to destroy the life you had already started to build!”

 

“I’m not trying to destroy my life I’m just trying to be myself!”

 

“Fuck you Kim Youngkyun!” Chanhee yelled, face beet red. “Ditch school for your friends, skip hagwon just to sit at a booth to see them, but leave me out of it! I don’t want to be a part of the reason your life turns to shit!” Chanhee turned his back to walk away and when Hwiyoung turned to reach his hand out for his friend, it was too late. Chanhee had left, and it was all his fault.


	15. Chanhee's View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments about the end of this chapter! I'd love to hear what you think.

He had texted the rest of the group already. “Meet near the bus stop by the schools,” it read. He sent the same text to everybody. He had an idea for his stage of life. 

 

Everybody but Inseong and him had gone, which kind of confused him because Inseong had suggested the idea and had yet to make a stage for himself. Whatever, Chanhee wasn’t waiting for the older boy to think of something special to do before he did his stage. Who knows, maybe Inseong wanted to have the last stage. Maybe Inseong wanted the final impression. 

 

The older boy had actually been the first to respond, saying he was on his way. He was hoping everybody would be able to make it. It was kind of late, nine o’clock last time he had checked his cracked phone. He was sure that everybody was out of their classes and work, but he didn’t know if anybody had anything else going on, which they usually didn’t. Yoon and Juho had already replied that they were getting ready for an early night of sleep, but would sacrifice it for him. That was true love.

 

The next bus was scheduled to come at 9:45, so that gave everybody plenty of time to meet him here. If they arrived early, they could entertain each other easily as they usually did. The college trio arrived first, not a huge surprise because they were the closest to the bus stop. Inseong had come wearing a black hoodie with a light pink shirt under it. 

 

“I didn’t peg you as a guy to wear pink,” Chanhee stated with a smirk. “Are you trying to match your boyfriend’s hair color?” Inseong grumbled.

 

“He’s just mad because a red sock got mixed in with his laundry,” Binnie said ruffling the older boy’s hair. Inseong grumbled again. 

 

“Dumbass should know how to do laundry by now,” Seokwoo commented poking at Inseong’s stomach. 

 

“Why don’t you do it for him?” Chanhee asked. “Don’t moms usually do the laundry?” 

 

“Oh ha ha!” he replied sarcastically. 

 

“Are we here for the eighth stage of life?” Inseong asked, sitting on the bench in the small glass booth like a small child. He had his hands placed between his sprawled out legs, gripping the edge of the bench and glancing up at the rest of them with an innocent face. The city lights glowed around him and he looked pretty. Too bad Yoon wasn’t here yet to see the boy. 

 

“Yeah,” Chanhee replied taking a seat next to him. “But it’s a surprise.”

 

“Everyone got to have surprises except me,” Binnie said with a sour voice.

 

“Sanghyuk didn’t!” Inseong pointed out.

 

“Well we had to practice for his stage,” Chanhee retorted. 

 

“Hey, where is Hwi?” Chanhee looked up at Seokwoo with sad eyes. 

 

“He’s… I texted him.”

 

“You usually come together, though,” Seokwoo pointed out. “Unless someone picks him up first. I just expected him to be here with you already.”

 

“He’ll come,” Chanhee assured them. “I just didn’t come with him today.” Of course, he felt bad. Seokwoo was right, usually he would go to pick Hwi up before going anywhere if he had the chance, but he chickened out. He had actually gone to Hwi’s house, picked up the ladder to move it to Hwi’s window and everything. But he got scared. Would Hwi really want him in his room? He hadn’t exactly walked away on the best of terms with his best friend. He decided instead, right outside of his window, to send him the same text he would send all of the others. He had mentioned that Hwi would be home before his parents woke up. Then he had left. He just hoped Hwi wasn’t too upset and that he understood Chanhee was just looking out for him. 

 

“The love of my life!” Inseong called out as the pink and red haired heads appeared down the street. Inseong waved his boyfriend over and Yoon came running from down the street. 

 

“Gross!” Juho called after his roommate. Yoon leaped into Inseong’s arms and knocked him onto the ground in the process. 

 

“I did not mean to hit you that hard,” Yoon admitted pulling Inseong back up. “You’re not taking us to another beach are you?” Yoon asked turning his attention to Chanhee. He shook his head. 

 

“No more beaches, you know, unless Inseong decides he misses the sand in his underwear.

 

“I told you that in confidence!” Inseong yelled as Yoon laughed to his side. 

 

“You got sand in your ass didn’t you?!” Yoon grabbed his stomach and fell onto the bench in hysterics. 

 

“Okay but can you tell me honestly that you didn’t?”

 

“At least I didn’t text my friends complaining about it!”

 

“I’m sure Jaeyoon would have happily helped you clean it out if you asked,” Chanhee threw in, earning a shove from Juho and screams of disapproval from both sides of the couple. 

 

“Woah, are you guys talking about eating ass without me?” Hyuk said coming around the side of the booth. 

 

“Specifically Jaeyoon eating Inseong’s ass,” Chanhee clarified. 

 

“Sorry Sanghyuk, but Inseong’s ass is kind of reserved,” Yoon stated territorially. 

 

“Okay,” Binnie said cutting off the conversation. “You two can have sex later. But at least don’t tell us all about it like Inseong did about his sandy ass.”

 

“I showed up at the wrong time,” Tae said coming into the group unnoticed. 

 

“What, you don’t want to hear about Inseong’s sandy ass?”

 

“Can everyone just stop talking about my ass?” Inseong asked with an eyebrow lifted. Tae looked around. 

 

“Where’s Hwi?”

 

“Aww, me misses his boyfriend.”

 

“It’s been two days!”

 

“I was wondering the same thing.”

 

“He’ll be here soon,” Chanhee stated, confident that Hwi would show up. “And haven’t you guys been texting like normal couples do? You can’t possibly be starved for his attention after two days.”

 

“He… he hasn’t been answering my texts.” Chanhee paused and looked up at the boy. 

 

“Maybe he got his phone taken away,” Seokwoo suggested.

 

“I tried his emergency phone too,” Tae said sadly. 

 

“He’s probably just-”

 

“Oh my god.” Everyone turned to look at Chanhee who had dropped his head to the ground. He parted his lips to speak but he couldn’t find the words. Was Hwi really that hurt with what he had said? He should have known, Hwi was fragile. He should have just reasonably talked with him the other day instead of yelling at him. He shouldn’t have called him Youngkyun. He shouldn’t have even brought it up. Of course Hwi was upset, why wouldn’t he be? Chanhee had told him to basically not hang out with him, but he hadn’t meant it! Then why did he say it? God Dammit.

 

“Hwi isn’t coming,” Chanhee stated. “He- He thinks I’m mad at him.” He dug his hands through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh. “Oh god, I- I-”

 

“Wait, why would he think that?” Seokwoo asked concerned. 

 

“We- Satruday morning, after we left for home, we got into a fight, or, well, I got into a fight with him. I didn’t mean to sound to mean but- oh god, I said so many mean things to him. He probably hates me. I can’t believe I said that stuff to him, I should have known he wouldn’t come if I told him to.”

 

“Chanhee! Chanhee! It’s okay. We’ll just call him and tell him to come, so you guys can work it out, okay?” Binnie asked holding his hands out. Chanhee nodded and licked his lips as he typed in the number.

 

“Try his emergency phone,” Inseong suggested when the call claimed he was unavailable immediately. His emergency phone had the same voice telling them the same thing. His phones were probably off, he probably didn’t even get the texts. 

 

“I- I’m sorry, guys. We can’t do this tonight. I have to go see Hwi and apologize.”

 

“Hey, we are all staying right here,” Inseong said placing a hand on his shoulder. “Go see Hwi, apologize for whatever you said, and come back here with him. We can still do the stage, and we can still make sure Hwi knows how much you care. Okay?” Chanhee nodded and brushed his hands through his hair nervously. 

 

“Okay,” he agreed walking over to the crosswalk. He was impatient and didn’t want to wait for the sign to tell him to cross, after all the street was almost completely empty with no moving cars. But nonetheless, he waited for the little man on the monitor to turn green before moving to cross the street. He must have been somewhere in the middle on the cross walk when Tae called from the bus booth.

 

“Make sure he’s okay!” Chanhee stopped walking and turned to give Tae a thumbs up. 12 seconds left on the walking timer. He moved his foot to turn back around.

 

“Chanhee look out!”

 

There were lights, everywhere. Blurs of street lights and glowing windows in streaks across his vision. He couldn’t feel the ground beneath him, why couldn’t he feel the ground? He was in the air, he could feel his arms flailing. He could hear screams, but it was like everything was in slow motion. Something hit his side, something hard. Was that pain coming from his side, or was it from his legs? He couldn’t feel his legs. He couldn’t really feel anything more than a throbbing pain spreading across his body. Then his hands. They felt scratched and burnt. It was like they were holding the weight of his whole body as he fell, were they really? The lights disappeared, but only for a second. They reappeared in still, blurry spots, covered with darker spots that just looked like an empty blackness. His head, it hurt. Why did it feel like he couldn’t move his neck? He felt something run down his forehead. More blackness, so much blackness that the lights disappeared. Had he closed his eyes? Was he awake? He had to be awake, he could hear the screams. What had even happened? Why was everyone screaming? Had he been hurt?

 

“Chanhee!” he heard. He heard the engine of a car, the screams of a group of people, the squeal of tires, the chatter surrounding him. His eyes were open, where were the lights? “Oh fuck! Chanhee!” 

 

He felt his head lift off the ground, but he couldn’t tell how. Everything was a mess. Everything hurt. Why was everything moving so slowly, and then so fast? Where had the lights gone? They were there, but they were just slivers. Where his eyes even open?

 

“Call 911!” Pick your head up! He couldn’t. He couldn’t even find the strength to move his arms on his own. 

 

“Hurts,” he managed to cough out with whatever else just came out of his mouth. Spit? Blood? Everything hurt. His knee, there was throbbing pain there. Was that other pain his side maybe? What about that piercing headache? The headache was the worst. 

 

“Stay awake!” Who was that? He opened his eyes as wide as he could but it hurt so much. The light hurt. He wanted to look at it, but it hurt his eyes. It made the head ache so much worse. If he just closed his eyes… “Chanhee! God dammit Chanhee open your eyes!” His eyes were pulled open and he coughed again. There was something in his mouth. He couldn’t taste it though. It was like he was losing his senses. His taste, his smell, his touch. 

 

“What?” he asked weakly. What was so cold on his head? Was that cold feeling causing the headache?

 

“Where does it hurt?!” He thought for a moment. Thinking hurt. 

 

“Thought,” he managed to say through the pain. He felt like every word burned a hole into his throat. 

 

“Thought? Chanhee, what hurts?” 

 

“Leg, side, head. Head,” he repeated coughing again. That was definitely not saliva. 

 

“Tilt his head to the side!” Who were these people screaming? Why were they screaming so loud? Maybe, maybe if he just closed his eyes it would all stop hurting.

 

“No! Chanhee! No, stay awake!” He opened his eyes grudgingly, but the weight of the entire world seemed to just continuously pull them downward. So heavy, so painful. 

 

“Oh fuck!” 

 

“What the hell... that?!”

 

“It’s- head! Blood!” Why was everyone going quiet? Why was everything ringing? Why couldn’t he hear everything they were saying? Stay awake, they said. How can he stay awake? 

 

“Ambulance! We… help!” He just wanted to hear what they were saying. Were they talking about him?

 

“Okay, okay, stay awake,” he heard. The voice was gentle, and it was right next to his ears. Who was it?

 

“Talk to him! Keep him awake!” So many voices.

 

“Okay, Chanhee, it’s me, Inseong.” Why did that name sound familiar? Thinking about it hurt, it hurt so much. He heard himself groan at the pain, gritting his teeth. Who was Inseong? Where was he? Why couldn’t he hear or see anything clearly? Why did his head hurt so much?! “You got into an accident, but it’s… be fine.”

 

Inseong. Inseong. Inseong! The group. That’s who he was. Inseong was his friend. Why had he forgotten that? How could he have forgotten that? What the hell was happening? Why did everything hurt so much?

 

“You just need… stay… don’t close your eyes.” Okay. It was simple. Don’t close his eyes. Don’t close his eyes. Don’t close his eyes. Inseong told him not to close his eyes. Inseong… Inseong told him… what did Inseong tell him? Eyes. Don’t close his eyes! Inseong, why did Inseong tell him not to close his eyes? 

 

“Dying,” he coughed out. His head hurt. It was numbingly painful, he couldn’t feel anything but the pain in his head. He just wanted it to stop. Please, just stop the pain. 

 

“You’re not dying,” he heard. That was Inseong, right? He couldn’t recognize the voices, any of them. “...be fine.”

 

“Stage. Life stage.” That was what he remembered. The stages of life. He couldn’t remember what they were for. Why was everything fading from his memory? Why couldn’t he think of anything? It hurt, but he couldn’t even remember. Stages of life. 

 

“What about it?”

 

“Eight.” His stage. His was the eighth. That’s right. That’s what they were supposed to be doing. The stages of life. His stage of life. He never told anyone. “Flowers.” What was the word? What was the word? Oh, it didn’t matter. The words he couldn’t think of didn’t matter. “Daejeon.” That was a place, the right place, right? He could barely remember. Why Daejeon? There had been a reason. He couldn't remember his reason. 

 

“You wanted to pick flowers in Daejeon?” That was it. Yes. “Okay, Okay Chanhee. When you’re all better, we can go to Daejeon and pick as many flowers as you want.”

 

“For Hwi?”

 

“Yeah Chanhee, for Hwi. We can give them all to Hwi if that’s what you want.” That was what he wanted. He wanted to go to Daejeon, because that was where he had met Hwi. In Daejeon, picking flowers. He wanted to go back to that time, and pick flowers for Hwi again. That was his reason. For Hwi. It was all for Hwi. The rest didn’t matter.

 

“Don’t close your eyes!” Too… too heavy. Hurt. 

 

“Stay awake!”

 

“Chanhee you’ll be okay just stay awake!”

 

For Hwi… for Hwi. Goodbye Hwiyoung.

 

“Chanhee!”


	16. Family

He stumbled into the white room after Youngbin who had more or less dragged him out of the front door of his house.

 

“Youngbin what the fuck?” Youngbin’s hand was tightly wrapped around his wrist and the older boy wouldn’t let him go. Youngbin had dragged him from his home and forced him to walk across the city, to a hospital? “Why are we at a hospital?” he asked more quietly. Youngbin hadn’t said a word. Hwiyoung had asked so many questions and Youngbin didn’t show any sign of even hearing them. He had been crying earlier, he had wiped the tears away but Hwiyoung noticed. He pretended not to. 

 

“You didn’t tell him?” Juho asked, not a hint of playfulness in his voice. What was going on? Juho’s hair looked like it had been pulled at by the roots and he looked like a disaster. 

 

“What the hell is going on?”

 

“You wanted me to tell him?” Youngbin screamed with a cracked voice. Some people and nurses turned their heads toward the boys but none of them seemed to care. 

 

“Tell me what?” he asked a little more frustrated. 

 

“We were prepared for you to have already told him!” Jaeyoon yelled back. His hair was also a mess, and his white shirt…

 

“Jaeyoon, is that blood?” Nobody answered. “What the fuck is going on? Who got hurt?”

 

“It’s your fault, he wouldn’t have gone into the street if you-”

 

“Don’t pin this on him!” Seokwoo yelled at Youngbin. “This isn’t at all Hwiyoung’s fault!”

 

“Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?!” he yelled loudly. “What the hell did I do?!” 

 

“Nothing!”

 

“Okay, then what happened?!” Hwiyoung was yelling at this point. They were in a hospital and there was blood. He was so confused, what had happened? Why was nobody telling him anything? 

 

“I’m not telling him,” Youngbin spat walking down the hall. He was left alone with Seokwoo and Juho.

 

“Where are the rest?” He asked as Juho looked to Seokwoo.

 

“You want me to tell him?” Seokwoo asked, dried tears under his eyes and stained across his cheeks. 

 

“Do you expect me to, then?”

 

“How about both of you shut the fuck up about who is telling me and just tell me what the hell happened?” Juho shook his head and turned to walk down the hallway after Youngbin.

 

“I can’t! You can’t expect me to tell him myself!”

 

“Then don’t,” Juho called back. Hwiyoung glared at the older boy and waited for an answer. 

 

“There… uhm. There was an accident.”

 

“I figured. With who? Was it Inseong?”

 

“No, no, Inseong is fine… well, physically. It’s-” a tear dropped down Seokwoo’s cheek and he pulled his lips back, hiding his face behind his hand. “It’s Chanhee.” No.

 

“What happened?” 

 

“He- he, I- I can’t. I can’t. I can’t do this. This isn’t my fucking job,” Seokwoo said walking down the hallway. Hwiyoung moved to follow him down the hall. 

 

“What happened to Chanhee? Is he okay?” Hwiyoung pulled Seokwoo’s shoulder back and stopped him in the middle of the hallway. “What happened to Chanhee?”

 

“He was hit by a car,” Seokwoo said with a crack in his voice. Hwiyoung didn’t want to imagine that, his best friend getting hit by a car. No, this was a joke. It had to be right? Clearly it wasn’t, but it was, right? Chanhee was fine, he probably was just very badly hurt. But why was everybody so mad? Why was everybody so angry with him?

 

“Where is he?” Hwiyoung asked biting his lip nervously. Seokwoo motioned for him to follow him into the elevator. Seokwoo pressed the button for the next floor down. 

 

“We… aren’t patient rooms on the upper floors?” Seokwoo didn’t respond. When the doors opened there was this strong smell of chemicals and cleaner. The hallways were white and perfectly clean. Seokwoo brought him down the hallways to a door and pushed it open. Hwiyoung stepped inside and the first thing he noticed was Inseong. The boy sat in the corner of the room. His light pink shirt and his jeans were completely covered in blood. There was blood all over his hands and arms. He seemed zoned out. Nobody was looking at him. He was just sitting there, covered in blood. The room, it looked like a medical room. Not the type of medical rooms for operations, but the kind he saw in tv shows. The morgue. He looked around to the table to see a white blanket covering a body. No…

 

He felt a tear slide down his cheek as he walked over to the table. Another tear blurred his vision and he grabbed the corners of the white blanket. All he had to do was pull it off and he would see, Chanhee wasn’t really under this blanket. He pulled it back.

 

“Oh god.” He brought his hand up to his mouth to muffle whatever sounds came out at the sight. The sight of his best friend cold and still. His head had been shaved on one side to get to the cut where part of his skull had clearly been broken. Hwiyoung felt his knees buckling under him as he fell to the floor. He let out a sob and felt the tears fall down his face without stopping. His lips pulled back and he bit his teeth together. “No, no, no, no that’s not, no. That- That can’t be. No... no.”

 

“That’s not all,” Sanghyuk said from the corner of the corner of the room. “His brain was injured, which was the official cause of death. But three of his ribs were broken and one of his legs snapped.”

 

“How did this happen?!” 

 

“Just some drunk kid. Driving too fast and ran a red light.”

 

“Who was it?!” 

 

“It doesn’t matter.” Hwiyoung let out another sob and brought his hands over his head. He ran them through his hair and pulled his forehead to the floor. He felt every tear slid down his face until they all ran the same path. There were so many tears. 

 

“It’s Hwiyoung’s fault,” Jaeyoon said crossing his arms over his chest. “Chanhee crossed the sidewalk to get you because you couldn’t turn your damn phone on and answer his goddamn texts!”

 

“It’s not his fault!” Seokwoo defended. “Chanhee said it himself, he picked the fight with Hwiyoung!”

 

“That has nothing to do with-”

 

“It’s not Hwiyoung’s fault,” Inseong stated quietly. “End of discussion.” 

 

“Inseong, you can’t possibly think that!” Youngbin stated with a cracked voice. 

 

“I can, and I do. It’s not Hwiyoung’s fault. You didn’t hold Chanhee in your lap when he died. You didn’t see how much pain he was in. You didn’t watch him cough up his own blood. You didn’t try to hold his head up just to realize he was broken. You didn’t hear his last words!” Inseong was yelling at this point. “So, you have no right to tell Hwiyoung this was his fault, when it wasn’t.” Hwiyoung couldn't stop crying. Chanhee was in pain? Chanhee died, and he was in pain? Chanhee crossed the sidewalk to see him. And he died because of that? If he… if he hadn’t smashed his phones against the goddamn wall he could have been there. Chanhee wouldn’t have crossed the sidewalk. They were right, this was Hwiyoung’s fault. His best friend was dead and it was all his fault. 

 

“I need to get out,” Hwiyoung said quietly running out of the room. He didn’t want to see any of them. They were right, this was all his fault. Chanhee, his best friend, was dead. He loved Chanhee, he loved him so damn much. Chanhee couldn’t be dead. He would just wake up from this awful dream and see Chanhee’s face again when he picked him up for school. He couldn’t… he couldn’t imagine never seeing his best friend again.

 

His back dragged against the back of the elevator wall. Chanhee…

 

He wasn’t supposed to be gone. Chanhee was supposed to wait for him to leave the house, before walking him to school. Chanhee was supposed to joke with him at lunch every day. Chanhee was supposed to stick by his side when things got rough at school. Chanhee was supposed to sneak him out of the house so they could go to some empty field and fool around. Chanhee wasn’t supposed to be gone. Chanhee was supposed to be right here, standing next to him with his arm around his shoulders. Chanhee wasn’t supposed to be gone. 

 

He pushed himself to his feet when the doors opened but he just fell again after coming out. When had he gotten to the roof? How had he even gotten to the roof? He walked over to the edges of the building and looked at all the cars below. One of those had hit his best friend. One of those had taken his best friend away from him. 

 

“Hwiyoung!” He looked behind him to see Taeyang stumbling towards hims, out of breath. Had he walked up this many flights of stairs, or had Hwiyoung come up the stairs as well?

 

“Do you think it’s my fault too?”

 

“It’s not your fault. Chanhee wouldn’t have died if I didn’t call out to him, which made him stop walking in the path of the car. But, but that doesn’t make it my fault. It’s nobody’s fault, nobody but the driver of that car.” 

 

“What was that bastards name?”

 

“Hwiyoung it doesn’t-”

 

“Who?!”

 

“Just some kid named Choi Sungmin.” He licked his lips and felt more tears traveling down his cheeks. He felt numb. He couldn’t feel the breeze he knew was blowing through his hair or the anger he felt towards that killer. It was his fault. It was all Hwiyoung’s fault. Sungmin had threatened Chanhee, and he had done nothing about it. Chanhee wouldn’t have even known Sungmin if it wasn’t for him. Everything was his fault. Chanhee’s death was his fault.

 

“Do you think,” Hwiyoung started, “do you think there’s an afterlife?”

 

“I never gave it much thought to be honest,” Taeyang admitted. 

 

“Neither did I,” Hwiyoung stated, sniffling and attempting to compose himself. “But I want to believe that Chanhee is happy now. That, despite everything, he’s happy.”

 

“He was always happy,” Taeyang stated, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You could see it on his face when he was with you. Chanhee loved you so much. You made him so happy, you always did.”

 

“He’s dead because of me.”

 

“Don’t say-”

 

“Sungmin is one of the brothers, from school. Chanhee wouldn’t have even known him if it wasn’t for me. This wasn’t an accident, it was spite for me. Chanhee is dead because of me, so how could he have possibly been happy?”

 

“I think, even if Chanhee knew what would happen, he would have still became your friend,” Taeyang choked out with a raspy voice. “He would have still met you the same way, smiled at you the same way, and treated you the same way. He would have loved you all the same. I don’t know if you could see it, but you were a big reason Chanhee was always so happy. He always watched you having fun with the biggest smile on his face because he cared so much for you. He probably wouldn’t have changed anything, even knowing what would happen.” Hwiyoung brought himself into Taeyang’s chest, sobbing and croaking out the ugliest sounds as his tears soaked the boy’s shirt. 

 

“Chanhee had a family!” he screamed through his cries. “He would have been fine without me, he would have been happy without me!”

 

“Hwiyoung, you were Chanhee’s family.” He balled his hands into fists against Taeyang’s shirt and let out another cry. “He wouldn’t have been fine without you because you were his family. You still are. His life without you would have been like the world missing its sun.”

 

“Shut up,” Hwiyoung told him. “Shut up, shut up. Chanhee is dead because of me and if I had just- if I-”

 

“Chanhee’s death is not your fault!” Taeyang yelled pressing his hands against his back in the hug. “You had no idea what would happen! None of this is your fault!”

 

“He died thinking I didn’t appreciate him! He died thinking I didn’t care about him! I can’t even remember what my last words to him were but I know for a fucking fact they weren’t ‘I’m sorry’ like they should have been!”

 

“He didn’t die thinking that!” Taeyang yelled at him. “He kicked himself in the ass for the things he said to you. He never wanted to hurt you. He never wanted to hurt you in any way and he kicked himself in the ass for it.”

 

“He died and I didn’t get a chance to say ‘I’m sorry.’ He died and I didn’t get a chance to say ‘I love you.’ He died and the last thing we did was fight. He shouldn’t have died that way, he shouldn’t have died at all! I just want to see him again. I just want to tell him how much I love him that’s all!” 

 

“He cared so much for you, and he knew how much you cared for him.” He could hear the sadness in Taeyang’s voice as it rose a pitch like he was trying to hold back the tears that were just coming anyways. “When- when he dyed his hair black. I knew it wasn’t just because he needed a change because the way- the way you two looked at each other, it was like you told him he was perfect just the way he was and he didn’t believe you. He looked at you like you were his savior. He knew how much you cared about him, he knew.”

 

“It’s not fair.”

 

“I know it’s not fair. I know. But Hwiyoung, this isn’t your fault. You treated him better than anyone else ever did. You gave him everything. You were the best person in his life and he would have done anything for you. This isn’t your fault, it never was.”

 

“Yes it is. It will always be my fault.”


	17. Final Goodbyes for a While

The sun was high in the sky, not a cloud in sight. The weather wasn’t necessarily warm, but it wasn’t cool either. It was decent enough to run around in the fields without breaking a sweat and to eat ice cream without it being ‘out of season.’ It was like an early summer even though the calender still read April. Usually, around this time of year, dark clouds would roll in and cover the country in rain storms that could go on for days to wash away the last of the snow that would just reappear in a few days. But now, the sun was out without a single trace of snow or rain to come.

 

Last year, Hwiyoung would have been in class, staring out the window, watching the other kids play around by the fields drinking whatever they had hidden in those bottles. This year, a different year, he wasn’t in class. He had graduated last year, an event he had had planned out since his childhood. Chanhee and him would stand together on the stage and smile in the same picture with their arms around each other as they celebrated their release from high school. That didn’t happen. Hwiyoung was up there alone, no smile in his picture and no flowers kept in vases because they were all dead by the end of the day anyways. 

 

Last year, Chanhee and him had left school with the intent of strawberry milk, and had instead met their best friends. This year, Hwiyoung didn’t even know where some of them were. Perhaps it would have been better for everyone, if that day had just never happened. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Hwiyoung asked as he took a seat in one of the rusted bleachers. The grass was overgrown, of course, and some of the bleacher seats were beyond fixing. But this was a place Hwiyoung always came to think, because he had always come here to think before, with Chanhee. 

 

“Just… just thinking,” the boy responded with his knees up to his chest and his hand holding up his dreary head. 

 

“Yeah, me too.” Hwiyoung copied the boy’s position and looked into the field. They sat in silence for a while, just watching the wind blow through the grass. Someone should cut it, but then again, cutting the grass would change the field. He didn’t want that.

 

“Has it really been a year?” the boy asked. “You know, since we met?”

 

“Yeah,” Hwiyoung responded, not bothering to look over at the boy to his right. “It’s been a year.” They sat in another small silence as the wind blew their hair around.

 

“Sometimes I think that maybe, just maybe, you would have been a lot happier if you two never met any of us.” Hwiyoung nodded. 

 

“I think that sometimes too.” The brown haired boy nodded but didn’t say anything further on the subject.

 

“Do you regret it?” 

 

“Regret what?”

 

“Leaving school that day? Saying yes to our offer? You could have just said no. If you had the chance to go back, would you just say no?” Hwiyoung sighed and let his head sink into his palm. Would he have just said no? There were so many things that came from meeting the group, some good, some bad. But in the end, the bad outweighed the good by so much that the scale had shattered.

 

“I think I would have, yeah.”

 

“But what about us?”

 

“What about you guys? You all would have been so much better off without ever meeting us.” The boy nodded and let out a deep sigh. The wind blew again, Hwiyoung’s skin growing with goosebumps and his blonde hair blowing into his face and eyes. 

 

“I don’t think that way. I think you two were the best things to ever happen to us. Juho and Jaeyoon were invited into our group because you two had come into our group first. I don’t think I would have ever met Jaeyoon or Juho. They would have never met us.”

 

“I’m sure you would have met them,” Hwiyoung disagreed. “Taeyang knew Jaeyoon, so it was only a matter of time before he introduced you anyways.” The boy nodded.

 

“I guess you’re right. But what about Tae?”

 

“What about him?”

 

“You never would have met him.”

 

“And yet,” Hwiyoung said licking his dried lips, “I still think I would have said no that day.”

 

“Don’t think like that-”

 

“I’m leaving Ansan,” Hwiyoung stated suddenly, before the topic could drift too far. “That’s the reason I came here today. I knew you would be here, and I thought you deserved to know.” The boy finally turned his head to meet his eyes. 

 

“What?”

 

“Like I said, I’m-”

 

“No, I heard what you said. How can you leave?” Hwiyoung turned his eyes to meet his.

 

“I can’t stay here, Inseong, I just can’t. Every day when I walk down the streets, all I can think about is how Chanhee should be by my side. I’ve tried using different roads but in the back of my mind, I just know that Chanhee should be there with me anyways. I can’t live with my parents anymore, especially not with them criticizing me every day about not going to work with my father, or going to college. I think they hate me because of how much I’ve fallen apart. I just- Chanhee would have been here to help me through anything. And I can’t stay here knowing that. I need to move to a new place, get a fresh start or something.” A tear dropped from Inseong’s cheek as he nodded. He turned his head back to the field and reached his hand up to wipe his eyes.

 

“What about Tae?”

 

“Taeyang had been gone for nine months.” Inseong sighed in what sounded like slight annoyance. 

 

“He texts you every day and calls as often as he can. If you don’t think he doesn’t miss you-”

 

“I miss him too. But he’s been gone for nine months. He’ll be fine without me.”

 

“This isn’t about Tae reminding you of Chanhee is it? You can’t just cut people out of your life. You- you already lost one person that’s so close to you, don’t lose Tae too. He loves you, and you love him. Just wait for him to come back and talk this out with him.”

 

“What is there to talk about?” Inseong sighed and shook his head.

 

“Just wait for him before you leave. It’s only two weeks. Stay in Ansan for two more weeks. Please.” Hwiyoung nodded and Inseong let out a sigh of relief. “And tell the others too. You aren’t leaving here before you tell everybody.”

 

“Define everybody.”

 

“The group, your friends.”

 

“Jaeyoon, Juho, and Youngbin aren’t really my friends anymore,” Hwiyoung reminded him. “Everyone but Juho hates me because of what happened to Chanhee. Then again, I don’t blame them. They won’t care if I leave.”

 

“Youngbin still cares. Whenever we meet he asks about you, how you’re doing, what you’ve been up too.”

 

“Well, he hasn’t talked to me in, how long has it been now? 10 months?”

 

“They all care about you. Just let me get everybody together, once Tae is back. You can tell everybody you’re leaving then and you can leave the day after.” Hwiyoung didn’t say anything more on the subject, letting it drop completely. He would wait two weeks for Taeyang to get back. After that, he would do as Inseong said and get everybody together and tell them all he was leaving. Inseong had asked him to do it, and nobody was as close to him now as Inseong was. 

 

“How is college going?” Hwiyoung asked with a forced smirk. 

 

“Fuck off. I was supposed to graduate last year. I should have a career by now.”

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have failed your final movie then.” Inseong gave a small laugh, wiping his eyes one last time before nodding.

 

“There was no way I was making that movie,” Inseong stated.

 

“Not with a smashed camera and snapped SD card you weren’t,” Hwiyoung pointed out. Inseong nodded with a small laugh in breaths.

 

“College is good. It sucks being all alone though. I’m used to being with Seokwoo and Youngbin but now that they’re gone, I don’t know. It isn’t as fun anymore.” Hwiyoung nodded and told him that he understood. 

 

“How is Seokwoo doing?”

 

“When is the last time you saw him?” Inseong asked back.

 

“Two months ago, maybe. He hasn’t been able to come back down to Ansan for a visit in a while. But I know you go to visit him as much as you can.” Inseong nodded. Seokwoo lived south now, a long ride from Ansan. He dropped out of his college with Inseong and Youngbin and had started attending a college dealing in fashion and design. At least he was finally doing what made him happy. 

 

“You know, you could always go to him for a visit,” Inseong suggested. 

 

“I’ve offered, but every time I offer to visit he always has events scheduled and he’s always busy.”

 

“That’s why I show up at midnight when he’s sleeping,” Inseong said with a smile. Hwiyoung gave him a smile back, a genuine one. “But he’s doing good,” he stated, answering Hwiyoung’s first question. “I think he misses everyone. You, included. Last time I saw him, he talked about this clothing line he had in mind that would be perfect for your style. I think he wants to use you as a model.”

 

“Well I’m not a model,” Hwiyoung said with a small laugh, “but I’m willing if it means I get to see him again.” Inseong nodded and told him quietly that he would let Seokwoo know. 

 

“Have you seen the news lately?”

 

“No,” Hwiyoung responded dryly. “Why? Was there something important?”

 

“Sungmin and Sungwoo got charged for murder and were sentenced to 20 years in prison, thanks to your help.” Hwiyoung nodded.

 

“Only 20?”

 

“Only 20,” Inseong repeated quietly, staring out into the field. They fell into another silence but it was okay, neither of them seemed to mind. The wind blew again and Hwiyoung had to push his blonde hair back away from his eyes again. 

 

“That color looks good on you.”

 

“Thank you,” Hwiyoung said with a small smile. “You say that every time you see me.”

 

“Well it’s true.” They sat in silence for a moment before Inseong spoke again. “Why did you dye your hair blonde?” Hwiyoung brought his legs back up to his chest and smiled.

 

“I told Chanhee that after we graduated I would dye my hair with him. He never got the chance to pick a color, so I went as light as I could.” Inseong nodded and told him again that it looked beautiful. 

 

“I have a question,” Inseong asked suddenly, head turned to give him his full attention.

 

“I might have an answer.”

 

“After graduation, the day we- we, uh. Chanhee’s funeral. You picked Daejeon as the location.” Hwiyoung nodded. “You picked a pretty field in Gyeryongsan park filled with flowers-”

 

“Yes, Inseong. I know where I buried Chanhee.”

 

“Sorry. But, I have been trying to figure it out for a while now. Why Daejeon? You never gave us a reason.”

 

“If I tell you will you finally tell me what Chanhee’s last words were?” Inseong stared at him shocked before facing the field again.

 

“I told you, I didn’t hear them.”

 

“I know you’re lying. In the morgue that day, you said to Youngbin, ‘you didn’t hear his last words.’ I know you heard them. I didn’t say anything until now, because I figured that maybe you needed time. But I want to know what his last words were.”

 

“Why-” Inseong bit his lip. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew I was lying until now?”

 

“You were right. I didn’t hold Chanhee in my lap when he died. I didn’t see how much pain he was in. I didn’t watch him cough up his own blood. I didn’t try to hold his head up just to realize he was broken. I didn’t hear his last words. I wasn’t there for him. For a long time I just told myself that I didn’t deserve to know his last words because I wasn’t there. But-” He wiped a tear from his eyes and fanned at them to get the tears to stop. “I want to know.”

 

“That was never the reason I didn’t tell you, or anyone,” Inseong said. “I- what Chanhee said. I figured you needed time before hearing what Chanhee said.”

 

“One more month and it will be a year. I don’t need any more time.” Inseong nodded. 

 

“‘For Hwi.’”

 

“What?”

 

“Those were his last words. ‘For Hwi.’”

 

“What- Wha- but. What do you-”

 

“I was holding him in my lap. His head hurt,” Inseong admitted. “The doctors said he was most likely confused in his last minutes because of the brain damage. I was told to talk to him to keep him awake. He started talking about the eighth stage of life, and I let him talk as long as it would keep him awake. He hadn’t told any of us what the stage would be, just that it was a surprise. He said, I mean, his words were kind of broken like he was forgetting how to talk, but he said flowers and Daejeon. He wanted to pick flowers in Daejeon. And I told him that when he was all better we could all go pick flowers in Daejeon together. And his last words, as a question, were ‘for Hwi?’ He wanted to go to Daejeon to pick flowers for you, and that was his final thought. He fell asleep almost immediately after saying that and he- he- he didn’t wake up.” Inseong brought his hands up to wipe away his tears again but it was no use. They were both crying again. 

 

“Chanhee… he-” Inseong grabbed Hwiyoung’s shoulder and leaned his body into him. Hwiyoung turned his face into Inseong’s chest to muffle his cries. “He died thinking of me?” 

 

“He died thinking about you. About picking flowers in Daejeon for you. And then, and then you buried him there. And I-” Hwiyoung felt one of Inseong’s tears hit his head while his own seeped into the fabric of Inseong’s shirt.

 

“That was where we met,” Hwiyoung choked out. “That was where we met. We- we met picking flowers in Daejeon. He wasn’t- he wasn’t just thinking about me, he was thinking about when we met.”

 

They hadn’t talked for hours after that. They just sat on the bleachers, drying their tears and watching the sun set. It got cold outside and yet neither of them seemed to care until Hwiyoung got a call from his parents telling him it was time to come home. 

 

Two weeks later, Taeyang came home. Hwiyoung met him at the airport, just like they had planned. They decided their relationship would be a surprise to Taeyang’s homophobic father. When Hwiyoung saw Taeyang again, he ran into his arms and spun Taeyang around like he was the sun, which to be honest, he was. Taeyang had placed his hands on his shoulders and kissed him on the lips in front of everybody and Hwiyoung had smiled, truly smiled, for the first time in a long time. He wrapped his arms around Taeyang and told him how much he had missed him, that he was so glad to see him again. Taeyang’s father hadn’t said much that day, especially after Hwiyoung drove Taeyang home in his new car. Hwiyoung hadn’t gone home that night. Or maybe his home was with Taeyang and he was home the whole time. 

 

The morning after, Hwiyoung woke up in Taeyang’s bed to the smell of pancakes. They sat at the small table in his apartment smiling at each other with Taeyang’s bunny printed pajama pants on Hwiyoung’s hips and nothing else. Hwiyoung was happy where he was, which was something he hadn’t felt in almost a year. 

 

“I was thinking of leaving Ansan,” Hwiyoung had mentioned. Taeyang had been calm about it.

 

“So where are we going, then?” Taeyang had asked him. Hwiyoung had been confused, of course, and Taeyang had just laughed at him and pecked his cheek while he carried their plates to the sink. “You think you’re leaving without me?” he had asked with a light smile. They had spent the whole morning talking about where they would go. Taeyang had suggested Busan. It was far away, but then again, Korea was small so they could always travel back to Ansan to see their friends. Taeyang had this perfect idea that they could enroll Hwiyoung into college once they moved to Busan, a college without dorms. Taeyang would attend a dance academy he had had his eyes on for a while, and they could live in the same apartment together. 

 

“I don’t want to go to college,” Hwiyoung had admitted. “I want to be happy, not shoved into an office or buried by papers. I know college would give me a better future, but my future is my decision, and I don’t want a successful future. I just want to live.” Taeyang had accepted that easily, saying they could start a business together to make enough money to afford a small home. 

 

“We should have a flower shop!” Taeyang had suggested. 

 

“Why a flower shop?” he had asked confused. 

 

“Think about it babe! Flowers are so delicate and beautiful. And everybody loves flower shops. It’s calming, nice, and I don’t know. Flowers!” Hwiyoung couldn’t help but think of the flowers he had placed around Chanhee’s grave when he agreed to the idea. 

 

The two of them were set to move down to Busan in two weeks, a home already bought and their stuff packed almost immediately. They had decided to tell the rest after their plans were already made. Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk had cried a little at the thought of Taeyang leaving. Jaeyoon had even hugged Hwiyoung and told him he would miss him. Youngbin had cried and hugged them both, claiming he really felt like a dad to them. Seokwoo, who had come up to see everybody, and cried as well, claiming he wasn’t but it was obvious that he was not fanning his eyes because he was hot. Juho had patted them both on the shoulder with tears in his eyes and told them he was happy for them both. 

 

“This is the ninth stage of life,” Inseong decided as the two of them said their final goodbyes for a while. “I know Chanhee isn’t here, but I’m creating the ninth stage of life anyways. We started this idea thinking that life was divided into stages and that everything would always be okay as long as we were together, but that isn’t the case. Life isn’t all about the fun moments and the times spent with friends, and I don’t think any of us had realized that before. So, the ninth stage is to just enjoy life. Enjoy the life you have and the people around you, because you never know when it will all disappear. Just enjoy the sensational feeling of life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Everyone who read this story,
> 
> Thank you so much, really. Everyone's support for this fic has been unbelievable and 1500 hits, it's just my first fic and so many people have told me they enjoyed it so really, thank you so much. I hope you all enjoyed reading Of Life as much as I enjoyed writing it! I wrote this story hoping to make people smile and to I don't know maybe offer a bit of advice through my writing so I hope you smiled a lot while reading this and maybe got something out of it. Anyways, thank you so much <3


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